Are RELATIONSHIPS POSSIBLE in an RV or VAN? Solo, Long Distance, Couples...

If you're a nomad or you're thinking about going mobile, you might be wondering if having a relationship on the road is even possible. You might want to meet somebody on the road and you may have no interest in doing that at all. But if you do meet somebody and they're not mobile, how do you keep that relationship going? And if you do travel together, how do you even make that work? Well, today I'm finally going to tell you guys my situation and how I make it work. And I'm also going to give you some information I found from the dozens of other nomads that I've interviewed along the way. Hey everybody, it's Robin with CreativityRV and today I'm going to talk to you guys about relationships. This is episode 26 of Be a Nomad, Change Your Life, my Sunday series where I try and give you every tip and trick you need to go mobile. If you haven't seen the other videos in this series, a link for the playlist is below. But today I'm going to talk to you about kind of a big issue, which is relationships. And you know, you might want to hit the road and you're solo and you just want to be solo and that's it and that's totally fine. A lot of people I meet are solo and they have no interest in finding a relationship. But some people want to meet somebody on the road. So I've got some tips for how to do that. And if you do meet somebody and you're on the road and they're not, how do you even make that work? That's what I do. So I'm going to talk to you about that. And then I'm going to talk to you about what I've learned from some other nomads that are couples that are already on the road and they do make it work. I've met a lot of people like this. So let's go ahead and talk about it. If you want to be in a relationship and you're on the road or you want to be on the road, the first thing that's key is that you have the right person. I mean, not everybody wants to live this life. I know that I do and my partner is not on the road. And of course, I'm going to tell you guys about that in a minute. But the first thing that comes to mind is the interview that I did with Bob Wells from Cheap RV Living. At that point, I wasn't even doing YouTube. I just had a travel blog. And Bob, during this interview and our long conversation afterwards, actually convinced me to do YouTube. So thanks, Bob. But since then, I've interviewed dozens of nomads for my blog and also for an upcoming book. And Bob's really sticks out. I'll put a link for the interview below. But you know, Bob was a nomad for a long time. And then he met somebody, they got married. She had a job that she thought she could make mobile. And that was the ultimate plan. But then she changed her mind. And Bob didn't want to stay in a house. And she didn't want to go permanently on the road. She just wanted to stay home and then travel and come back home. And ultimately, Bob decided that that wasn't going to work for him. What they wanted out of their lives were just too different. So you guys know Bob decided the nomadic life was for him and he hit the road. And he's been on the road for a long time. And it's worked out just fine for him solo. On the flip side of that are people like 2Meander. You guys might know Debra and Robert from 2Meander. I met them last year after the RTR when they were actually moving out of their two vans in which they traveled solo separately into one van. They had met on the road and they fell in love and they wanted to move into one van. And that's a really tiny space. But it's been a year and they're still in one van, even though they have a tow car that they put behind it so they can go different places. It works for them. Another couple that makes this work is We're the Russo's. If you guys haven't seen their channel, it's one of my favorites. Check it out. I'll put a link for it below. But they had a blog post that I read once on how they make their relationship work in a small space. And I'll put the link for that below. But the upswing of that was communication. You have to really communicate in a small space according to them and patience. And I met another couple on the road that have the channel BijouJuju. You should check them out also. I interviewed them for Bob and they were very content together in their Class C. It was so chill in there. You know, there was no tenseness. There was no drama in their RV. And I thought, wow, you can really make this work. I just met a couple the other day that didn't want to be interviewed, so I'm not going to say their names. But their story was fabulous. They actually had been on the road together 18 or 19 years and they had the cutest little Class C. But the first nine years they were together as nomads, it was on a sailboat. And by the way, they made that sailboat work with three kids and the two of them in a tiny little sailboat. And they showed me the pictures. But, you know, they were the right people for each other. And again, what they talked about was communication being key. So I could go on, you guys. I've met a lot of couples that make it work and I've met a lot of people that don't have any interest at all in living with somebody else on the road. A lot of people that I meet on the road are newly divorced or they were single parents and their kids are grown and they just want their freedom. I would say probably half the people, at least, that I meet on the road and interview have that opinion. But there are some people that have this dream to go out on the road and they still want to find somebody. Actually, what I hear most often is, I don't need to find somebody, but if I do and they're the right person, I'd welcome it. So I wanted to tell you guys that that is totally possible while you're on the road. Like I said, Robert and Deborah met on the road. There are a lot of ways to do this. And I think about this being a fear for people because you hear that you normally meet people through work. Well, I worked jobs for a long time that I had no interest in dating anybody in that office. If you know what I mean, you probably have the same kind of office. And I didn't want an online date. And I think this is the same for a lot of people out there. And so it's not like you're going out meeting a bunch of people where you're in the sticks and bricks. You have to actually put yourself out there and try. So I'm going to tell you about a couple of organizations I found where you can do that. If you want to travel in a singles travel group, there are two groups that I found that seem to have pretty good reviews. There's Loners on Wheels and When RV Singles. And I'll put the link for both of these below. So what they do is they organize travel groups of singles in RVs, which is kind of fun. And there are RV meetups all the time. And Bub has some new caravans. And if you're going to the RTR, they have singles nights. So don't think that if you live in an RV, there are not opportunities to go out there and meet people. There are. Okay, so let's talk about me. I never thought that I would actually talk about my relationship on YouTube. Hi, honey. I am in a relationship with a wonderful guy named Doug. And here's his picture. Here's our picture together right here. And here's the deal. If you guys watched the very first video I put out, you probably know that I hit the road because I lost my sister and it really changed my whole perspective of what I wanted out of my life. I had not been in a relationship for a long time. I actually had a boyfriend die about 10 years before this point. And I dated, but I just didn't want to get into a heavy relationship after that for a long time. So I was really used to being single. And when I imagined myself hitting the road when I was planning, I had no plan to be in a relationship or look for a relationship. And so it was a total surprise to me when I met Doug. When we met, I had been planning my nomadic life for two years and I was certain it was something I was going to do. I actually met Doug in my apartment building. We lived in the same building and I was on a date and we met at a party and he completely sniped me from the other guy because Doug is kind and funny and wonderful in stark contrast to the guy that I was on the date with. And I thought, what am I doing? There are such nice guys in the world. And so I started dating Doug and I thought that's what it would be. It would be that we were dating. And then when my second book was done and my RV was ready and I was ready to hit the road, I was just going to hit the road. But then of course, you know, I fell in love with the dude and this is just life. The relationship got serious and I started to really worry that I was going to have to choose either my nomadic life or this great new relationship that I had. And luckily around that time, I found a YouTube video that Bob did that I cannot find now. So if anybody knows the video I'm talking about, please put it in the comments below and I'll pin it at the top. But Bob interviewed a couple, I think in an Airstream, and the woman was on the road already solo and she was dating a guy who I think was a fireman and he wasn't ready to retire yet. And they did the long distance thing for like three years and then he finally decided to join her on the road and that's when Bob interviewed them. And it was such a good example for me and I started to think, wow, this is possible. I can make this work. And so I went and talked to Doug about it and, you know, I had brought up the RV thing and I told him about the plan but I think it just kind of sounds like pie in the sky to a lot of people when you're planning to hit the road and they don't think you're really going to do it or something. But I talked to him about it and I said, look, this is a real thing. This is what I want to do. I want to write full-time and to do that I need to be on the road and I want to go to places and I've been planning and I know this isn't for you but it's for me. And to Doug's credit, he thought about it for about two days and he came back to me and he said, I totally support you 100%, do what's going to make you happy and we're going to work it out. Never in my wildest imagination did I think that I was going to find somebody that would support my traveling without them. And I'm not going to tell you guys that it's not tough sometimes, I'll tell you about that. But here's the deal, and this is straight out of Doug's mouth, I said, why are you okay with this? And he said, when you meet the right person, you make it work. And if you love them, you support them and you want them to be happy. And all of this is going to work out because you're the right person for me. So that's the deal, you guys, but I will tell you that communication is key. And I've got some tips for you on how to make a relationship work if you are in one. I remember after that conversation, my lease was actually up a few months before my RV was ready. So I moved in with Doug and then we were living together. And as I got closer to hitting the road, I kept saying, okay, well, I'm going to go, I'm going to hit the road. I started to feel a little bit tethered because we hadn't done it yet. We were brand new. And I wasn't sure how much time I could spend away from him and how much time there. So I planned out my first trip and I kept saying, okay, well, I'm going to go for six weeks and then I'm going to come back to visit. And the day that I was leaving, he said, so how long are you going for? Like while I was standing at the door. And I said, six weeks and his face dropped. And he said, oh, I thought you were kidding. So communication really is key. I should have looked him straight in the eye and said, I'm going for six weeks and then I'm going to come home. And I should have been much more clear. Instead, I just kept dropping, you know, little things about, oh yeah, well, I'm going to go here and I'm going to go there. And it should be about six weeks. I needed to be much more clear. And that's something that I needed to learn. And I'll tell you guys, a relationship is still a relationship. You know, if being long distance is the biggest problem that you have in a relationship, then you're lucky. You know, being long distance can hide a lot of problems in a relationship because when you get together, you know, it's just all fun and travel, but it can also exacerbate any problems that you might have in the relationship. So don't think that, you know, having a long distance relationship is going to be easy or it's going to be hard. It's just a reflection of what kind of a relationship you really have. So of course you guys know me. I did a little bit of research and I just stumbled upon an article about a study that came out and actually just came out a couple of days ago. So score, good timing, but I'm going to put a link for the article below. And basically here's the upswing. Long distance relationships are succeeding more now than they ever have because we're also connected digitally. So the deal is that when they surveyed a thousand people that actually are long distance, 58% of their relationships actually succeeded, which is pretty good. It's actually more than people stay together, right? Isn't divorce 40 or 50%? I think 58% is pretty good. And I don't know how that stacks up against other relationships, but I bet it's about the same. But I wanted to tell you guys some of the things I learned from that study. And then I'm going to tell you some tricks that we've learned for making it work. You know, it's funny when I read this article, I was like, yep, check, check. Because it said, first of all, the hardest part is when you get to four months. It's very exciting in the beginning, but when you hit the four month mark, that's when it starts to get really hard. And it reminds me of the video I did on, will you be happy on the road? That that's probably about the time that it starts to go, oh, hold on a minute. This isn't fun anymore. It's hard. And it's not what I'm used to. And that was absolutely true for us. Especially once, you know, I left his region and I really traveled far away from him. I was gone for about four months before I saw him. And we, look, we plan a lot of little trips and I'll talk to you about that in a second. But the four month part was actually the hardest. But this study also said that if you hit the eight month mark, then you're in a groove, man. And you just sail. I mean, as much as a relationship can sail, right? And that's where we are. The next thing it said is that the two people in the relationship sent about 343 texts a week. Yeah, that's right. We do that. And it said that they spend about eight hours talking on the phone or video chatting every week. Yep, we do that. And I'm going to tell you some fun stuff that we do that helps along the way. And here's what was actually really interesting about that study. Half the people that they surveyed said that being long distance actually made them feel closer. And like, I'm going to keep it real with you guys. It's exciting to be on the road as a solo nomad. But it's also heartbreaking when you leave the people that you love. And for me, whether that be Doug or my friends or my mom or whatever, you know, when you are clear about what you want, like if you want to be a nomad, you go to see these people and you are excited to see them, you know, but you also know that you're going to leave. And so that can be a little bit heartbreaking, but you do actually cherish the time that you have with them even more. And I find that that's also true in my relationship. It's wonderful. And it's heartbreaking. So who knows what's going to happen with me and Doug, you know, so far, we've been together three years, and a year and a half of that has been on the road. So we were together a year and a half before I hit the road. And now we've been together a year and a half, a little bit more since I hit the road. And I have no plans of going off the road. This is definitely the life for me. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to be with him. And I don't go and visit him. And who knows, you know, the time might be right someday for him to the road. But this is just life. And things change, things come and go. And there might be a time he comes with me, there might be a time that I go back and stay with him more, or maybe we split the year. I don't know. I'm open to whatever happens and wherever our relationship takes us. So now let me tell you guys about some strategies that Doug actually found online. And we talked about it because we actually do a lot of the stuff in this list and some other stuff. So the first thing is avoid excessive communication. Now in the beginning, I was thinking, what? That doesn't make any sense. But it does because when you first separate, there might be a lot of text messages. You know, I remember when I first hit the road, sometimes I would say, okay, well, I'm on the road and I'll call you when I get to my spot. And then I got to my spot and there was no signal. And then I stressed out that he was going to be worried about me and he was stressed out that he hadn't heard from me. And now we just kind of go with it. But I can see that in a long distance relationship, especially on the road, people can be blowing each other up. Don't do that. It can get irritating, right? The second thing is have a goal in mind. So, you know, Doug knows why I'm on the road and what my goals are, but we also have goals to see each other. And that was another thing on the list, to have a trip planned together or, you know, to have something coming up that you can look forward to. And I can tell you guys that Doug flew out to South Dakota with me when I got my RV to pick up the RV and we drove it back. And then he went on a few camping trips with me in the beginning, even though he's not a camper. And he went with me to San Francisco and that was a great trip. And then we drove back to Colorado and he met me in Las Vegas. And then, you know, I flew home for like Valentine's Day last year and we make it work. And then this last year, I did come back to Colorado, but more often than not, he came out to wherever I was camping and would drive the three hours to come out and see me and have a three-day weekend and then go back home. So he's gotten more of a taste for my lifestyle, but, you know, we have plans for the holidays. He's coming with me to the RTR, you guys. I hope that still works out so he'll be able to get off work and come with me, but we have a nice trip planned there. And having that in mind really does help. The next thing on the list is to have pet names for each other. And we certainly do, but I'm not going to tell you what they are. The next thing is remember your partner's not perfect, like this girl. I'm not perfect and neither is he. And I think we've come to learn what both of us want and what both of us need and we communicate. And I think, you know, we give each other a pass on a lot of stuff. Not everything. It's still a relationship. The next thing I liked on this list was to play games online. Now we actually did that in the beginning, you know, we would play different apps that we could go back and forth. But now what we do and what we've done for about the last year, which works great for us, is that we actually have a date night. And we do it just as our schedules allow. It's once or twice a week. And basically what we do is we both get on our comfortable clothes and put on our Bluetooths and we call each other and we watch a movie or something or a football game. When you're just talking to somebody on the phone and it's dark inside and you're watching the same thing at the same time on TV, it actually does feel like you're, you know, you're back in the same house together on the couch hanging out. And it really does make me feel a lot more connected to him. It works great for us. And the last thing on the list, which I'm a big fan of, is to say good night and good morning every day. And I have to say, I was a lot less touchy-feely before I met Doug. Doug drives this and I love him for it. The first thing he does in the morning is he says good morning to me. And the last thing at night is he says good night. And it makes us feel connected, even though we're in different places. So you guys, there are going to be as many different types of relationships and goals and desires out there as there are stars in the sky. And a lot of you are going to watch this and go, oh God, hell no. I don't want a relationship. You can keep it. And some of you are going to say, dear Lord, please help me find one. And some of you are going to say, yeah, I hit the road with my partner and now I wish that he would go away. And some of you are going to try and make your relationships work like I do. And it's totally possible. Just know that this can succeed just as much as any other relationship can. It can be a little bit trickier. I mean, we're dealing with longer distances and smaller spaces and maybe more time alone outside of crowds of people where you might meet someone. But you guys, I do it. I didn't expect to do it. I expected to be totally solo and I never expected to find somebody that would be down with me traveling all the time. But I did and you can too. So whatever it is that you want, man, go do it. Just think about what it is that you really want. If you want to be in a relationship, do it. If you don't, do that. So I hope you guys like this video. Please do give it a thumbs up because you guys know that that helps other people discover this video and this channel. Share it with your friends if you think it's going to be helpful. All the links I mentioned are below. If you haven't subscribed, please do so. And I wish you all happy travels out there and be free.