A Man Will Never Value You Until You Realize This - Women MUST WATCH

Alright ladies, when a man is not truly valuing you, the first thing that your mind will do is start searching for an excuse to make sense of it. Oh you know, he's just really busy with work or he has commitments, issues, or my favorite, I think he is an avoidant. Because you've seen 20 videos about attachment styles and now you just diagnosed him like a therapist. But the truth is ladies, that in 99% of the cases, he's not making you a priority because Because maybe the problem is not him. Maybe the problem is not even you. Maybe the problem is the connection between you two. But the good news is that you can always shift that energy. You can reset the dynamic by changing the way that you show up. My name is Ismael Gomez and I coach women like you to understand relationship dynamics and male behavior. And in this video, we're going to talk about why a man may stop valuing you and what you can do to shift that. And also, if you're tired, you know, completely exhausted of dealing with mixed signals in your relationships, feeling confused, or trying to decode what men really mean when they say certain things, I just made a free guide called Mixed Signals Translated. This is going to give you all the answers that you've been looking for about a man's true intentions behind his words and actions. Just drop a comment saying give me the guide and I'll reply with a free download link. And now let's get into point number one of this video. Number one, the dark side of being nice. Most of you ladies have been raised and praised for being nice, raised and praised for being self-abandoning codependents. You say yes when you're trying to say I'm not sure and you give more than you receive and call it love. But underneath that behavior is not generosity, it's anxiety. Because if you slow down and really ask yourself, why am I doing this? You'll often realize that it's not to be nice, it's to stay safe. Safe from rejection, safe from conflict, safe from being misunderstood. And here's where it gets complicated because that safety comes at the cost of your self-respect. When you constantly manage another person's comfort, you stop managing your own truth. And this might surprise you, but a lot of powerful, confident women, they come to me for coaching and they tell me that, you know, I'm not a people pleaser, Ismael, you know, I'm successful, emotionally grounded, but they still do it in quieter ways. You know, I've had a couple of clients like that, women who manage their own businesses, manage, you know, big teams, big decisions every day. But then in the relationship, they start hiding parts of their success, downplaying their wins so their partner doesn't feel insecure. And they keep telling me, Ismael, I'm not a people pleaser, okay, I just don't want to make him feel bad. But that's exactly how it hides for strong women, not in chasing approval, but in dimming your own light just enough to keep the peace. But like I always tell you, ladies, real genuine love comes from alignment, not accommodation. Because the truth is that niceness that costs you your authenticity is not kindness, it's compliance. And the more you comply, the less he values the relationship. Because a man cannot prioritize a woman who constantly puts herself last. Number two, rethinking your confidence. Something else many of you ladies have been sold on is the strange idea of confidence, the kind that looks powerful on the outside, but quietly exhausts you on the inside. Many times you think that it's loud, unbothered, you know, the woman who walks into a room and dominates the attention. But real confidence in dating and relationships is not about taking up space, it's about being at peace in your own space. The sociometer model and psychology tells us that how good we feel about ourselves depends on how accepted we believe that we are. And that's where it gets tricky in relationships, especially for women, because for many of you, confidence was never built internally, it was built on approval. And it's always subtle. You know, you wait for him to text you first because you don't want to seem needy, and you downplay what you want so you don't scare him away. Again, a lot of advice online tells you these things, so you smile when you're hurt, you stay calm when you're angry, and you call it being secure. But that is not confidence, ladies, that is self-abandonment disguised as emotional maturity. And that's where the whole fake it till you make it advice fails, because you mimic confidence hoping that a man is going to treat you like a priority. And by the way, it might work at first, okay? Because attraction can be sparked by presentation, but it doesn't last. Because real confidence cannot be performed. Men can always feel when you are pretending, and no matter how much you try to mask it, that energy leaks through. Again, confidence in dating and relationships is not about who plays harder to get, it's about self-fidelity. The word confidence literally comes from the Latin word confidere, meaning to trust. So in its purest form, what it actually means is trusting yourself, your emotions, and your intuition. And that's the kind of confidence that quietly shifts the energy in every relationship. Because confidence is not the absence of doubt, it's the refusal to betray yourself just to belong. And final number three, the art of genuine interest. Another pattern that I noticed is that a lot of you are not struggling to connect with men because you don't care, you're struggling because you're trying too hard to manage the outcome. You go into every single conversation scanning for red flags, you know, the coding tone, replaying text messages in your head, like what do you mean by this thing, right? And before you know it, the entire interaction becomes about protecting yourself instead of discovering the other person. But the thing is that curiosity and control cannot coexist, okay? You cannot explore and defend at the same time. When you're constantly in self-protection mode, you stop receiving information, you know, you stop listening. Everything turns into analysis and men can feel that energy. Because again, curiosity is what keeps you open and control is what keeps you guarded. I always give the analogy, it's like imagine that you're trying to give somebody a hug and you're going like this, you know, let me hug you, right? You don't want to open your arms because you don't want to be vulnerable. That being said, do not assume that curiosity means interrogation. It is not constantly asking, you know, what do you do for work? Do you rent or do you own your own place? That is only logistics. And that is important, I'm not denying that, okay? But real curiosity sounds like, why is that important to you? Why did that teach you? And it's not about analyzing data the whole time, it's also about understanding emotion. Also, when you lead with curiosity, you quietly flip the dynamic. You know, you stop trying to be chosen and you start doing the choosing. You're no longer auditioning, you're seeking alignment. And that is powerful feminine energy. And if there's one thing I've learned from years of coaching, research, and my own dating experiences is that people don't fall for perfection. My partner is not perfect and I'm definitely not even close. But people fall for the person who makes them feel seen and understood. Your looks, good sex, achievements, these things matter, but they're not the main reason that a man chooses a woman. He chooses the woman who brings him peace and respect. The one who doesn't compete with him, but also doesn't shrink around him. Because genuine attraction is about curiosity, admiration, and mutual respect. All right, ladies, so here's a quick recap. Three ways that can help you start being valued in your relationships. Number one, look at all the ways, okay? All the quiet ways that you're trying to be nice to keep the peace and start being truthful to keep your power. Number two is the confidence in relationships is when you learn the skills, not when you try to fake it. And number three, protect your heart, but stay open and curious because connection only happens when you let yourself be seen. And finally, like I said, if you've been dealing with mixed signals or confusion, trying to figure out what men really mean when they say certain things, I've made a free guide called Mixed Signals Translated. It's going to break down the true meaning behind men's words so you never overthink his actions again. Just drop a comment if you're interested, say something like, give me the guide, and I'll reply with a free download link. As always, thank you for being here, ladies. Thank you for subscribing to my channel. And like I always say, for your relationships to change, you need to change, okay? Have a beautiful day.