10 Things you need LESS of, not MORE (Save Money, Live Happier)

Hey my friends, welcome back. Today we're talking about 10 things that you might need less of and not more. So this is all about intentional living, minimalism, and the idea that we don't always have to keep chasing more in order to be happy. We live in a culture that really relies on adding things to our life. We're constantly being told that there's something else we need to improve our home, our routine, our skin, our body, our clothes. There's always another product, another solution, another version of life to strive for. And when you're constantly being shown all of these things to want, it's really easy to feel like our life, or our stuff, or what we currently have isn't good enough, or that we aren't good enough. The result is that we get used to wanting, to shopping, to consuming, and we're always taught how to add things to our life. But we rarely stop to ask what if we already have enough? Do we even need more? And what if nothing is missing? So that's what the video is about. In a word, contentment. Being happy with what we already have, and being at peace with where we are right now. And just to be clear, this is not me saying that everyone should want less of these things. If they bring you happiness, joy, meaning, that is perfectly valid. Or maybe there are even some on this list that you would like more of, and that is okay too. So a more accurate title for this video could be something like 10 things where it's okay if you want less of these things, but that doesn't sound as good. So here we are. This is not a list of rules, these are just some gentle suggestions of things where it might feel good to not want more, or to even want less. Because we are allowed to be satisfied, and to opt out of that constant pressure to always upgrade. So let's normalize contentment, and let's normalize normal life. As always, feel free to grab something nice for yourself to drink if you want, and join me. I also have a kind of like a little exciting announcement that I want to share with you, but I will do that later in the video. So stay tuned for that. For now, let's just begin with the first one on the list. Alright, starting out with maybe a bit of a controversial one, and that is travel. So travel can be enriching, beautiful, it can be a wonderful experience. You know, see the world, see different cultures, see different architecture, taste different food, it's all really nice. But I feel like with travel over the last maybe like decade or so, it's also become this thing that we are always kind of supposed to want to do, supposed to be able to do. And it should be something that we're always like striving for. And I have made some wonderful travels in my life. I've been to Japan three times, I've been to Iceland, I've been to several places in Europe, many different countries. And all of these trips have been wonderful. I wouldn't change the experience for anything. But personally, I also choose to have many different years in my life when we're actually not traveling, or at least not leaving the country. And I think that is perfectly fine too. I remember when I was young, my parents never had a lot of money. And so when we were growing up, we would go on vacation once a year, which was always kind of like the highlight of my year. We would go camping with a tent usually. And usually we still just traveled with our crappy old car, which usually broke down somewhere along the way. With our tent and our, I don't know, things to do, like books to read and things like that. And we would just go camping for a week or two. And it was once a year. I felt like that was so so cool. I never felt like it wasn't enough. But I feel like recently, just when talking with people in my own life, or especially when you see influencers online, it seems like everyone is traveling like three times a year. And it's usually quite far, or it's a little bit more luxurious or adventurous. And again, there's nothing wrong with that. But I also feel like if you feel that pressure to also want to travel that extensively, then you really don't have to. First of all, maybe you are like me, a highly sensitive person, and travel both excites you and exhausts you intensely. So for me, I'm just really not always in the mood to travel. Because it is so anxiety inducing, it is so stressful, it is so tiring. And I'm not always in the mood for that. Or maybe it's something different, it's like a budget constraint. Or you know, not everyone is able to travel like that. And I feel like we should normalize just either staying at home, taking a little break by yourself, doing fun things nearby where you live, or traveling super simple, close by. Maybe going by train or by car, going a little bit shorter, maybe packing a little bit lighter. It doesn't always have to be that aspirational and like insta worthy in my opinion. Tell me what you think, I would really love to know. Because you know, when I say that I'm not a huge traveler, like I've been places but I don't go every year, people sometimes look at me a little weird. Like that's a weird thing to say, like you're supposed to want to at least travel the world. And it's almost like you're saying that you don't care about other cultures, or that you don't want to see how you know people live everywhere in the world. And that isn't always the case. It's just that travel comes with a lot of you know costs and stress, and you need time for it, and so many other things. Maybe you don't want to travel because your cat is sick or something. No, there could be so many things going on. I feel like that should be okay too. And I don't know about you, but I also think that there are other ways of experiencing different cultures outside of travel. So you could read books that are set in a certain country, or that are like describing a history of a certain country. You could learn a language at home for a different culture, a different country that tells you a lot. You could experiment with cooking recipes from different places. Like there are other ways. I also love watching just travel videos on youtube, seeing you know what else is out there. And I really like that. The next one maybe might ruffle a few feathers as well, but it is eating out. Of course I love eating out. I do consider myself a foodie, you know. I love trying different restaurants and seeing different places. But for me, over the last couple of years I have really changed eating out as something to really look forward to, something special, as opposed to something that you just do once a week. And part of that for me is just the cost. Eating out has become really really expensive here. Of course there's the whole like experience and ambience of going out to dinner, or going out to lunch or breakfast, that is different. But I also feel like a simple, slow, nourishing meal at home can be just as nice. And sometimes if I'm in the mood for something a little bit fancier, what I like to do now is just go over to my little book stand, pop open a cookbook, and just choose a recipe that I've never made before. Something maybe that's a little bit more involved, that takes a little bit longer to prepare, or something a little bit more fancy or special. And just create it myself. And even though that is more effort and more money than my typical pretty easy simple go-to meals, it still is only a fraction of what a similar meal like that would cost in a restaurant. And sometimes I do like to hang out with friends at a restaurant, and like make it something special. And when I do that, I also try not to look at the prices too much, and just enjoy myself because it's a special thing. But I also think that it is okay to be like, you know what, I don't strive to go out to eat every week. And otherwise I can just prepare something for myself or for friends, invite them over in your own home. The next thing that I think that sometimes we might need less of and not more in this society, in this world and culture, is productivity. We are taught to measure our value and sense of self-worth by our output, by our productivity. So did you get everything done today that you wanted to do? Did you check off all your to-dos? Did you achieve your goals? And even taking breaks and taking rest is often talked about in the sense of productivity. So it is talked about as yes, taking breaks and taking rest is a good thing, because it allows us to be more productive in the end. So it is still put often in this context of productivity, where yes, taking breaks and rest is important, is good, because it allows us to be more productive. And not because we're human beings, not human doings. And we deserve rest, breaks, fun, just doing nothing and being and being okay with that, regardless in my opinion of our output and our productivity. We deserve it regardless. You know, it's also okay to be not productive certain seasons of your life. You know, you're allowed to just kind of drop things for a while if you want to, if you feel that desire. And if you're able to you know, take things down a notch, then that is perfectly fine. And it doesn't have to lead to more productivity later, in my opinion. Because you only have one life, and you're allowed to enjoy it first. And then like, I don't know, be productive with it second. So what if your life didn't revolve around your output, around your productivity? What if the goal wasn't to get more done in less time, but just to enjoy being alive? Of course there's nothing wrong with, you know, productivity itself. It provides structure, focus, it allows us to maybe do things that are a little bit harder, to take a I'm not saying that, you know, we should never try to be productive, or structured, or efficient, or work hard about things that truly matter to us. But the point I'm trying to make is that our productivity doesn't have to be tied to our self-worth. And a wasted day, or a lazy day, doesn't necessarily have to exist in our vocabulary. It can also just be a recharging day, or a fun day, or a, you know, lazing around the house in a nixa sort of way, which is the Dutch word for enjoying doing nothing. So instead of evaluating my week by, you know, how much did I get done, and did I do everything that I wanted to do, and did I reach my goals? And I also try to ask myself like, did I feel connected and grounded? Did I feel at peace? Did I connect with someone else? Was I kind to others? Did I enjoy any of it? These are, in my experience, more important questions. Because life already asks so much of us, you know. Most of us do, you know, have jobs, or school, or some kind of responsibility. And then we need to clean, and cook, and grocery shop, and have a social life, and exercise. Like there's so much already that is being asked of us, that we are in charge, in my opinion, about how we want to spend the rest of our time. And if you don't want to be productive during that time in this part of your life, then that is absolutely fine. Number four is stress. Stress is all around us. We live in a world where stress, in my opinion, is very much normalized. To the point where sometimes we don't even really recognize that we are stressed. It's just the way that we are used to living. And I feel like sometimes stress and busyness is even glorified a little bit. When people say like, yeah it's been so busy, like I hardly get time to sleep, or rest, or do things, like we kind of wear it as a badge of honor. Like look how good we are pushing through our stress. But chronic stress isn't fun. And it does take its toll, you know, physically, mentally, emotionally. It affects our relationships, and just how much we are able to enjoy our life. Your nervous system isn't designed to live in a constant state of emergency, of fight-or-flight mode. You are allowed to also feel safe and just relaxed. And in some ways, stress is a natural part of life. And sometimes something happens, it's unavoidable, we just have to deal with it as best we can. But for me personally, I do try to shape my days in a way where if none of that like urgent outside of my control stuff is going on, then I try to have a relaxed day as the priority. And not stress out about things too much. Because I have been burnt out before, and it took such a long time for me to recover from that. So I don't want to get to that state again. And the thing is that we don't have to be in this continuous state of almost approaching burnout, to show that we are trying and that we care. So stress will visit sometimes, but we don't have to let it move in. And if you have to make a choice for yourself in order to make your life less stressful, whatever that choice is, I think that you can definitely consider doing that. Because it's important and it has value. Number five on the list is stuff. And I'm sure that this doesn't surprise you coming from me as a minimalist. But we do live in a world where the standard way of doing things is wanting more stuff. And adding stuff to our home, or improving our stuff, or upgrading our stuff. It's very much focused on the acquiring part of it. The looking up, seeing reviews, the magic of like seeing, wanting, buying, owning. That sort of cycle is very much normal. But that burst of happiness that we get from buying something new doesn't last. And now we have more things in our home that we need to maintain, clean, organize, sort, stuff somewhere, find room for. And the thing is that if you, that that little burst of happiness that we get from buying something that we have been wanting for a while, I really come to see that that doesn't necessarily come from the fact that we now own that thing. But more so because we've scratched the itch. Like there was an itch in our mind telling us that we wanted something, and now we have it. So the itch is scratched, and our mind can now finally be quiet and at peace. Until the next thing that we want comes along, and then we need to scratch that itch. Because if it was truly the thing that we bought that gave us that happiness, then we would feel that happy and content for as long as we had that thing. But it doesn't always, or usually does not work that way. And for me this was just kind of like a light bulb moment, where you suddenly see that the narrative that you're always being told by advertising, social media, people around you who continually buy things, that that's a good thing. Like that is what you're supposed to be doing. And suddenly I just realized that hey, I don't have to participate in that. I don't have to keep continually buying things and adding things to my life. I can also just not. And be content with what I already have, and only buy things when there's an actual reason for something that I feel like that could make my life easier, better, more joyful, or some other thing. That's when I buy things, instead of just doing it basically out of habit. Now that we are halfway in the video, I quickly want to share something with you that I'm really excited about. This month marks eight years since I first uploaded my very first video on youtube. So the Simple Happy Zen channel turns eight this year. It's been such a ride. I'm so grateful for all of you. This community is so so special, so thank you so much for being here. And to celebrate the channel's eighth birthday, I am doing a special anniversary sale on all my digital products. So everything is 20% off for the rest of August. If you're feeling ready to simplify your life, declutter your home, or slow down and reconnect with what matters, then this could be the perfect time to check them out. So some details. First of all, my decluttering ebook. This is a 90 page guide to help you clear the clutter with practical tips, checklists, and strategies, whether you are just getting started or ready to go a little bit deeper. This is great for tackling any area of your home with more clarity and less stress. Then there is in love with your life. And this is my in-depth simplify your life course. This one is designed to help you simplify all the major aspects of your life, from your time and your habits to your mindset and priorities. And this one is perfect for if you maybe feel overwhelmed a bit at times, or you're craving a life that is more aligned with who you really are. You'll get weekly lessons with guided exercises, but you can move through the course at your own pace as well. And you'll have lifetime access to the materials. And then there's unhurried, which is my 30 day slow living program. This is a gentle introduction to slow living. You'll receive a new lesson and mindful challenge each day, designed to fit easily into a busy life. So think of this one as kind of like a reset for your life and for your nervous system, with small doable steps to help you find more calm and presence starting today. And here as well, you will have lifetime access to the materials so you can repeat this 30 day program whenever you want. You can use the code SUMMERSALE20 at checkout to get 20% off. You can use this on one of them, you can also get more of them if you want. There's no overlap between them. I'll leave the links and information in the description box, including reviews if you want to see what other people have shared. And the sale will run until September 1st, so don't wait too long. And if you have any questions, feel free to leave them down below. I'm always happy to help. Number six of the things that you might need less of, not more, is expectations. Whether that is societal expectations, or from friends and family, or the expectations that we put on ourselves. Maybe it's the pressure that we might feel of the timeline where we're supposed to graduate at a certain age, and have a job and a career going at a certain age, and maybe buy our first home by a certain age, and then get married and start a family by a certain age. Expectations like this can quietly run our life and make it difficult to make authentic choices, if maybe they don't always align with those expectations. And some of these expectations might be on the more obvious side, while others can be more subtle. And that is what I'm currently working on in my life. For example, the expectation to always be on and always have a good thing going in your life, or always be like okay and running your life well. Or even the expectation that I put on myself at least, where if I'm being social, that I feel the need to be entertaining for the other person, or like do this the social thing well, and be you know enigmatic and talk and laugh, and like be on in that sense. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone watching. Is this relatable to you somehow? Please let me know in the comments. And sometimes these expectations become kind of like the framework that we measure our life against. And then if we don't meet these expectations for whatever reason, maybe we don't want to, or we haven't been able to yet, we feel like we're falling behind. Like we are not where we should be. And when we can kind of let go of that idea that our life needs to follow some kind of script, with certain like deadlines and expectations, we can then create a little bit more acceptance. And a little bit more space to breathe. And to ask ourselves what we want. I say this also as someone who is child free by choice. I'm now 37, still no kids, don't want kids. And here in the Netherlands this is a relatively normal thing, although not everywhere. But in my family situation, people have been super accepting. And that is great. But I do still also get the question sometimes like, when are you having kids? Just people assuming that you will, or that you at least want to. So this can creep up in unexpected situations. So of course this doesn't mean that you can't have goals, or you can't have dreams. But it just means that how well you've been living your life so far, is not dependent on if you can check off someone else's boxes basically. Number seven is comparison. One of those quiet habits that we all fall into from time to time, without realizing it often. I've learned about myself, and I think this is probably true for many people, that the way I compare myself to others is not fair. It's not a fair comparison, because I always compare upwards. So I compare things to people who have a better version of that, or a prettier version, or maybe they make more money, or maybe they, I don't know, something is better. And that is how we typically compare ourselves. We see a part of someone's reality, and maybe it's not even their reality, it's just what it looks like online. Maybe it is their reality, but it's only a part of their life. We measure our own life against that, and we feel like in this regard, we are not measuring up. And therefore everything doesn't measure up. Because no matter where you look, there is always going to be someone out there who has that particular thing that you are comparing better than you. And as they say, comparison is the thief of joy. I really have come to embrace this expression, and have learned to not compare myself in such an unfair way. And instead, try to see not just parts of people's reality, but their whole reality, against my whole reality. And I always come back to that sense of gratitude, and contentment, and peace. Because I love my life, and every part of it adds to the whole. So even if there are certain parts of it that maybe I would like to change, or improve, or I don't know, have it be easier somehow, it's all part of me. Do you know what I mean? And I would never want to trade lives with another person, because I love mine. And so it's all part of the story, and that makes for a much fairer comparison in my opinion. So your life and your worth doesn't decrease when there's someone else out there who is doing very well. It doesn't take away anything from you, and your life is perfectly okay, and fine, and nice, just as it is. Even if it doesn't look like shiny or special, if it just looks like a normal person living their normal life. Number eight is clothes. So I have been doing a shopping ban for my wardrobe this year. I've talked about that before in my low buy update. I will link that right here if you want to watch it, and in the description box below. And I have been loving this shopping ban. And it's not even that I'm now trying to like hold myself back from shopping, but it's even gotten to a point where I actually really don't want to shop for my wardrobe. It's so funny, because I used to shop for my wardrobe for clothes, accessories, jewelry, shoes, just out of a hobby. Like it was just a fun thing to do. And when I look around, just the people in my life, and the people I see online, shopping is seen as a fun thing to do. Like treating yourself maybe, or if you're sharing excitement about something, maybe you are moving, that means shopping for your new home. You got a new job, that means shopping. Or maybe you're sad, you're trying to cheer yourself up, that means shopping. So shopping is just something in our culture that is a thing by itself. Like no one questions the validity of do I even really need more clothes? Do I want more clothes? Would that add anything? It's just something you do. And of course in the case of fashion, that is exacerbated by the fact that trends are always coming and going. So if you want to look stylish and put together, you cannot really show up in a sort of clothing that people wore 10 years ago, because you look outdated. Now I personally don't care about this, and I try to stay away from things that are very trendy, and look more for timeless things that I can wear year after year. But I can totally imagine that people would care about this, depending on what your life is like, and maybe where you work, and things like that. So even our clothes kind of have that planned obsolescence built in them to keep us shopping, because they are not trendy anymore. I have been loving using these things again. Some of them are 10 years old, or even older, and they are still in good condition. I still enjoy wearing them, and that is so much more special to me than going out shopping for something new. All right number nine, the second and last one. Maybe this one is a little weird, but hear me out. And it is friends. So of course I'm not saying like you don't need people, you don't need friends. We all kind of need people in our life, and that is fine. I have some wonderful friends, most of them I've known for 15 years or longer. But growing up, I did have some trouble with a certain like friendship group. It got a little toxic, I was bullied a little bit, even by like my my close friends. And so you know, I've been through some stuff with friends, and I'm now really happy to have a few people in my life. Just a handful of close friends that care about me, that I care about, and I feel like that is enough. But when I was younger, I used to sometimes feel a little bit lonely, or that I didn't have enough friends. Because of what we're always being told by media especially, like you're supposed to have a good friend group, where everyone knows each other, and where you go out and do things with that group. I never had that. My friends don't know each other, so I don't have a friend group. I also don't have close friends that live nearby. Most of my friends live kind of semi far away, to really far away. So that is, you know, different. Now I know that this is actually much more normal than I thought. Most of us only truly connect with a small handful of people, and it really has made me appreciate the people that are in my life. If you even have one person that cares about you, that you care about, that is already so special. Basically you don't have to be surrounded by a huge number of people in order to feel supported, and like you have a support system. A small handful of people who know you well is better in my opinion than, you know, many many people in your life who you're not exactly very close with. Or maybe you feel like you don't necessarily want fewer friends, but you would like to have more boundaries with protecting your time and your energy. Maybe someone comes over a lot, like a neighbor or something, and you don't have time to do your daily things for example. I've heard stories from people like that. So whatever it is, if you feel like okay, the social stuff, maybe the parties, the engagements, the commitments, I want a little bit less of that in my life and just focus on a few handful of like good friends or family, then it's okay to to want that. And number 10 is aesthetic home stuff. Just aesthetics in general in your life. Everything nowadays is so much tied to their aesthetic, because it photographs well, it creates good social media content, and I feel like especially influencers homes look really perfectly. But that is also because most of the things in their home are linked. That is how they make their money, they make their income through affiliate marketing, or maybe these things are even gifted to them. So by having that perfectly beautiful home, that is how influencers, like lifestyle influencers, earn their paycheck. And that is not true for most of us, you know. Most people have to buy the things that are in their home, and we don't get paid to buy them. It actually costs us money. And I say this as someone who loves home design, furniture, you know, I also feel like I have a beautiful apartment. But it's the same stuff. I buy things once, and I use them year after year. And I'm very careful with buying new things. I rarely buy new things for my home. And I just kind of like take a little effort in putting something together that makes me happy being here, and that's it. That's like what I do it with. A real normal home often has mismatched furniture, or things that haven't passed down. That you know, you didn't get new, or that didn't necessarily fit your aesthetics that well, but are just really handy to have around. Or mugs that are all different, or have dead plants, or you know, not a set color scheme, but different things from different people, different colors. Maybe it has clutter sometimes, like it looks lived in. Maybe it's not perfectly clean all the time, everywhere. Like that is a normal person home, and that is okay too. So in my opinion, not everything needs to be aesthetic, not everything needs to match, and not everything needs to be able to be linked. It's your home, so you decide. And that's it. 10 things that you might want less of, not more. I would love to hear your thoughts about these 10 things. I hope I didn't make a video too long, because I get excited about this stuff, and I can talk about it all day long. I hope this video gave you some inspiration of maybe some things to let go of, that you've been carrying, that are not serving you anymore. Just a small reminder that you are already good enough, and your life is already good enough, just as it is right now. And if you'd like some more help and support from me, whether that is with decluttering your home, or simplifying your life, or slowing down and reconnecting with what matters most, then don't forget to check out my anniversary sale. Everything is 20% off. Just use code summersail20 to get 20% off. And that goes for my ebook, my simplify your life course, and my 30-day slow living program. And a huge thank you to my supporters on patreon and youtube memberships as well. You guys help me to keep this channel running, and I really appreciate it. So thank you so much. And thank you to you for sticking around for this video, all the way until the end. I really appreciate that too. So thank you, have a wonderful wonderful day. As always, questions, comments, conversations down below, and we'll see each other again soon. Bye bye. Oh my gosh, I had such trouble getting up this morning. It's Monday, and I just felt like I got up from a coma. Like I was walking around feeling like a zombie, and my boyfriend says like are you all right? Because you look like a baby bat that can't open his eyes yet. Just kind of like walking around with my eyes half closed.