Best Lessons From Being 34

Hey everyone! Welcome back to Life in Progress. Thank you for always listening and for today's episode I wanted to share my 34 best lessons. Wow, I'm already 35. It's a privilege, all privileges to get old, to get wiser, to have white hair. But with God's grace, I still maintain my body. That's the most important thing for me. It's okay for me to have wrinkles, it's okay for me to have white hair. I just don't want to gain out of neglect. That's my first lesson. Also, my trainer told me that if I want to have a baby, I need to build a lot of muscles so I can have a baby right away. So we don't know if that will happen. Anyway, so here are my best lessons. Number one, energy is currency. Protect it like money. You can't just use bottles for everything. But there's a difference between using bottles for everything. You use energy for defending yourself. Of course, if I'm doing a TikTok live, someone will bully me there. Of course, I'll call it out so that it won't happen again. That's why I feel like I'm not easily bullied by people, either online or in real life, because I really speak up. That's one thing that my mom taught us. You have to speak up. You should never start conflicts until you can. But if they start, if you get slapped, you'll get slapped too. That's what my mom taught us. And we still apply that. So far, among all of us, I'm the one who applies the most. For example, sometimes, I get scolded. So number two is, not everyone deserves access to you. See, access to travel. Quality over quantity. I only have a few friends. Now, I'm going to reduce it to 26 before I turn 35. Because I want to invest in my friendships. I want to invest. I want to give gifts to my friends. Because I prepare them. Actually, I ask them, what do you want? Then, we create a middle ground where we meet. For example, my friend Charles, I gave him a Montclair jacket. When we went to Canada, one of my friends gave me a Louis Vuitton bag. Because I only have a few friends. And I always make sure, we make time to travel annually. If we can't travel, I'll go to Australia or it's easier for me to fly because I have time. Number three, friendships shift. And that's okay. Some bonds are seasonal. Not all friendships will last forever. And that's okay. Every season, we'll have new friends, opportunities. All of that, experiences, we'll have based on the season. My friends from college, I don't have friends anymore. I only have three or four. I made new friends at work, in my networking, abroad, in my master's. So, they're my friends. Because my seasonal life is different. Because I'm already in Madrid. My friends here have children and wives. It's like, what are we going to talk about? Health really is wealth. Sleep, movement, food. You feel the difference. Period. I've said this many times. Move. Find what works for you. Not for other people. For some people, pilates. Find what is your definition of fun. I don't like it. So, find what works for you. Number five, silence is peace. But it's not. Even because we had to launch something. Shut down. Number six, people's opinions are reflections of them, not you. But, I get it. I understand. So, it has nothing to do with me. Number seven, investing in yourself pays the best interest. Courses, therapy, gym, and of course, rest. Invest in yourself. This is the best relationship you will ever have. Probably, this is the best relationship of this lifetime. At least for me. Your self-respect, self-work, self-investment. You're just confident. You don't need to do grand things to feel confidence and invest in yourself. Just working out every single day or even just start with walking. That's more than enough. Number eight, love yourself enough to walk away from jobs, relationships, or places that drain you. Life is both long and short. Short kasi kakatiis mo sa isang bagay, di mo namalayan, sixty ka na. Long kasi everyday, nagtitiis ka sa isang bagay na ayaw mo. So, life is like that. Nafifil mo ang ikli and ang haba at the same time. That's the irony of life. Ayaw mo na sa job, leave. It's time to start questioning our choices every single day. Masaya ba ako dito? If hindi, let's go. Number nine is joy comes from the simple things. Coffee, my favorite. Morning sun, my favorite. And slow days. Parang kinukwento ko kanina sa mga teammates ko. Pag Sunday, ginagawa ko is gising ako eight, coffee ako, tulog naman ako ng ten. Tapos gising ako one, kain ako. Tapos tulog naman ako ng three. Tapos five, gising ako. Either mag-walk ako pag nasa Spain ako or pag nasa Philippines ako, makipaglaro ako sa mga dogs sa amin. That's a slow day for me and I love doing that. So much joy dun sa walang ginagawa. Natutunan ko na yan slowly. Ngayon, Sunday pa lang yung ginagawa ko. Sana next year magawa ko Saturday and Sunday, wala na ako ginagawa. Number ten is you don't owe anyone constant access. Boundaries are love. Ang dami boundaries is one of the best forms of self-love. Say no, no, no, no. Ayoko niyan, ayoko niyan, ayoko niyan. Huwag na kayong magpaliwanag. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. We don't owe an explanation to everybody. Hindi natin kailangan mag people please all the time because it hurts us so much without even realizing. Next is healing is ongoing. You don't magically just arrive. Healing is different for everyone. Sometimes, nandito tayo. Sometimes, nandito tayo. Sometimes, gumagunan tayo. Sometimes, deretso yan. So wala talaga pattern yan. Ongoing yan. Processing, kumbaga. I think the most important part is we show up and we tell ourselves na I am trying, I'm doing my best. Number twelve, money buys freedom, not identity. Money is a tool. Money does buy happiness. Gusto nyo magpakasal, pera. Gusto nyo maglose weight, pera. Gusto nyo magtravel, pera. Pero siyempre, nagiging evil lang sya when we start using this tool sa mga maling bagay. Bisyo, kung ano-ano pa. Gambling, diba? Probably for other people tama yun. But sa eyes natin, diba? Hindi sya tama. And probably nakasira yun ang buhay ng ibag tao. Ako marami akong kilala na sira yung buhay nila dahil sa mga ganung bisyo. Kaya ako, first rule ko yan, I don't wanna be friends with people na naggagantong things in their life. Number thirteen is saying no feels better than for yes. Lama sa relationship, sige, let's make this romantic. Just say no. Huwag yun na ipili, huwag yun na questioning yung sarili nyo na nagigilty kayo na hi, baka wala na ibang lalaki or babae. Just say no. You'll get hurt for a week, for two, for a month, for two months, for three months, but what if you say yes? Sayan yung oras, diba? May kasabihan dun sa Japanese na the longer you are nasa train, mas matagal yung time pa uwi. Number fourteen is comparison is poison. Stay on your path. Tingin ka na tingin sa iba, social media ni ganito, social media ng ganyan. Tingnan nyo, yung mga hinahangaan sa online, yun pala, malaman-laman natin. May mga kababalaghan pala sa pera nila. Bakit head to toe Dior sila? Bakit head to toe Hermes sila? So sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, masasabi ko, I am grateful, I am proud that my reputation is still intact and I will protect that my whole life. Kasi once, masira yun, tapos I'd rather focus on my life. Everyone is going through something. Even I compare, parang hindi lang yun fair sa sarili ko. So I'd rather focus on myself na lang. Fifteen is rest is productive. Burnout serves no one. Ilang besa na itong pinag-usapan but i-highlight ulit natin. Rest is part of being successful. Once a week, mag-rest kayo. Don't worry, the world is still going to be there. Number sixteen is your thirties are not too late. They're powerful. Starting years. Kasi lagi sinasabi sa Philippines, twenties lang yun, parang may silby ka. Thirties, inaagnas ka na. Forties, may maintenance ka na. Fifties, parang di ka na nakakapaglakad. Sixties, wala ka na talagang silby. Ganun yung thinking na a lot of people na na-encounter ko, which is sad kasi sa Europe naman, completely opposite. Maybe gini-generalize ko yung sa Europe based yung sila nakikita ko. People will do everything. Extend yung thirties nila, yung single life nila, bago silang mag-isip mag-asawa. Kaya ako do, thirty-four, parang ngayon pa lang nagsistart yung buhay ng mga friends ko dun. Parang ngayon pa lang kami nagsisimula after namin mag-masters. Ngayon pa lang kami nag-iisip bumili ng mga bahay, ganyan. Wala yung mamadali. And if, mabuntis ng twenties, wala pa ako nakikilala dun na accidentally nabuntis ha, because of sex education. So thirties are not too late. You're still young. You're still about to learn a lot of things. I'm still learning a lot of things. So maybe, change your mindset. If wala sa environment, your mindset na lang. Start with ourselves. If mindset nyo yung isi-strengthen nyo, kahit ano sabihin na ibang tao, hindi na yan tatalag sa inyo. Number seventeen is, people show you who they are, believe them. That's it. No more questioning. Nag-ghost, ay busy lang yan. Nobody is busy girl, or boy, or dude. Nobody is busy. When you like someone, when you want someone or something, gagawin nyo ng time, paraan. Sobrang busy ko. As in, may schedule ako, six na umaga hanggang gabi. I have time every day to call my mother when I'm in Spain. I call her every day. I have time every Saturday and Sunday to call my siblings, because I want to. So I show them what I want. So believe people when they show you, or when they tell you exactly what they want. I remember this one time sa life ko, I met this beautiful guy. Sabi niya sa akin, Angelie, I like you as a person, but I don't like you yet as my woman. Tinanggap ko. Sabi ko, and that's fine. Andami namin ginawang road trips, trips, lahat. Tapos doon pala kami babagsak. Gusto niya lang ako as a tao. Gusto niya ako kausap. Parang kaya namin mag-usap ng ten hours straight. Yung ako naman gusapin, tulog na ako. Tas yung pala, na-realize niya, hindi niya ako nakikita as someone, a romantic partner niya. And tinanggap ko and I moved on. I never talked to him. Kasi siya nagsabi, hindi niya ako nakikita eh. So sinabi ko, I'm sorry, I'm not looking for a friend. I am looking for a partner. So hindi tayo magkatugma. So ayaw din kita maging friend. So buong paasok na dyan yung be assertive with people. Show yourself as well. Wag yung tago ng tago ng tago. Number 18 is kindness does not mean weakness. So yung kindness ko is more of being fair. Kindness is good, but I also think dapat siya ginagamit with caution. Kasi if you use it too much, some people, hindi nila deserve yan. But it's not a weakness at all. Yesterday, I was with one of my girls sa office. Sabi niya sa akin, Anjali, you're too understanding and people take advantage of you. So you watch out. Sabi ko, huh? Understanding pa ba ako salaga yun to? Feeling ko nga sobrang maldita ko. So without even knowing, I was being too kind na pala. So abuti sinabihan ako ng teammate ko. So naghikpit na ako. Number 19, solitude is strength. Iba-iba personality. Ako mahilig kong mag-iisa. Mahilig kong mag-work mag-isa, mag-gym mag-isa, tumakbong mag-isa, mag-travel mag-isa. Kasi nakakapag-isip ako, nakakalma ako, narelax ako. So it is a strength. Again, your best relationship will be with yourself. When you are full sa sarili mo, yung ibang bagay, ang bilis nang in-navigate relationships, experiences, work, business, career, spirituality, lahat sa sarili muna natin. Number 20 is letting go is an act of self-care. Ano natin magkulong? Na magkulong, na magkulong sa isang bagay. Okay, maglagay tayo ng timeline. Magiging sad ako one week or two weeks. Okay, life is too short, guys. Wag mo tayo magiging sobrang malungkot over things. If sa tingin nyo, sobrang hirap mag-let go, ganyan, ang dami nagtatanong sa akin sa TikTok, na-broken hearted ako, 16 pa lang ako, parang Okay, ano kayang mangyayari dito sa batang ko? Parang gano'n. Ano yung iniisip ko na, once I was also like that, pero 16 ako, ano ba ginagawa ko nun? Hindi ko na maalala eh. Letting go is one of the hardest things, kasi na-attach tayo eh. Na-attach tayo sa outcome, na-attach tayo sa tao, na-attach tayo sa expectations. Let go of the expectations, then letting go of the whole thing comes after. When we learn that, walang time masyadong attachment sa gamit, sa tao, sa experiences, itanggap na natin na pwede mawala yung bagay na yun. So mentality ko dyan, iniisip ko lagi the worst thing that could happen, para hindi ako masyadong na-attach dun. Number 21, no one is coming to save you. Build your own safety net, financially, mentally, physically, and emotionally. So recently I've been watching this lady, sabi niya dun, if you're a woman, make it your goal to make your own money. A man can leave you, a man can die, a man can have an accident. If you're relying on a man, wala ka na. That's why make it your life goal to make your own money. Maraming comments yun, masculine, ganyan, ganyan din na. I don't care. I'd rather be masculine than give up my lifestyle. Andaming label sa society eh, but I'm gonna focus on my life goal. Make my own money, I have my own identity, be me first. Kasi I realize established men or women, they're not just gonna choose someone na nagahanap lang ng someone na magbabayad for them. We are talking about normal scenarios ha. Syempre iba na yung mga scenarios na nagahanap na mas batang babae or na mas ano. Ibang-ibang usapan naman yun, di ko alam yun. So nagpo-focus lang tayo sa kung ano yung experiences ko and alam ko. So let's make it our life goal, no matter what the gender is, to make our own money. Number 22 is, grabe once I was 22 pala, naalala ko yung mga numbers na to. Time with loved ones is the best flex. I fly from Madrid to surprise my mom for a week. Kahit patapos na yung ano ko, yung napat six months ako nasa Madrid, sinasakto ko. Because I love my mom, she's everything para sakin. And without her, what's the purpose of success? Money and everything, diba? Kaya ngayon, nag-stay ako sa Philippines sa sobrang tagal, etong year na to. Talagang hinati-hati ko properly, di ako masyadong nag-travel. Because sadly, tumatanda na yung mama ko. And nag-check-in kami ng mga teammates ko sa isang hotel, ng happy lab team ko, access team. Yung iba nag-Vietnam kami, yung iba nag-Europe kami, yung iba kung saan sa kami nagpunta. Because they're my loved ones, you know? They're my workmates, but I love them. Because they helped me sa work ko, sa life ko. And without my teammates, probably wala din access travel. And sa mom ko naman, she's just so special. And in 2026, we are going to Africa, Egypt, Finland, Dubai, yung day yung nasa travel goals niya. So dadaling ko siya doon. Next naman is peace over drama, always. Hindi ko na ito pahabain. Kung niyari, ikaw, bin-appreciate mo ko, binibigyan mo ko ng problema. Hindi ako nasa stage ako ng life ko. Pag sinabi mo, zero plus zero, 100. Yes, congratulations. Well done. Go home. Thank you. Ganyan na ako. Ayoko na. Kasi nga energy is so important. In fact, nandito yung laptop ko kasi may sinasagutan akong email bago ko itong record. Nakikipagtalo sa akin yung lalaki na supplier namin. O, di ba? Hindi ka pa ko na malalim. Over one length ng payment na na-miss ko. Haba namang emails niya. Haba. Ayoko na. Done. Nagsabi lang ako what happened. Ayaw niya magtanong. Ayaw niya ako yung irrespect and everything. Nagkamali ako, ina-acknowledge ko yun pero pinapahaban niya pa rin. Okay, thank you. Well done. Adios. Ciao, steak ka. Well done. Number 24, you can't pour from an empty cup. Self-love, guys. Self-love, self-love, self-love. A relationship you will value for the rest of your life. Imagine ninyo, every day magigising ka, makikita mo sarili mo bago matulog. Pagpasan mo sa work. Pag nag-gym ka, makikita mo yung self mo. So, pour your cup. Punoyin nyo na sobra-sobra. Kaya nga this year sana gusto ko na mag-asawa. Punog-puno na yung cup ko. Sabi ko, ano na? Puno na yung cup ko. Overflowing na. Nasa second cup na ako. Baka third na. Sa fourth na. Kailangan ko lang ito i-share. And this year ko lang din naisip. This year lang din ako nagkaroon na thought na ready na ako magkana. Kaya nang nagpa-freeze ako na eggs. Before never ko yung naisip. Ngayon lang. And I'm very happy ngayon ko lang siya na-peel. Kasi nagawa ko na lahat na gusto ko sa buhay. Number 25 is happiness is not a milestone. It's a daily choice or choices. Every day. Coffee makes me happy. Gym makes me happy. Walking makes me happy. Working makes me happy. My business makes me happy. My clients, my employees, my mom, our dogs. Daily choices. Hindi natin kailangan na sobrang manalaking bagay sa buhay para maging masaya. It's not a milestone. It should not be just one time. Pag nakapunta ko ng Japan, magiging masaya ako. Pag nakapunta ko ng Europe, magiging masaya ako. Paano naman yung Ayaw natin maging burden yun. Dapat every day. We choose the things that make us happy. And people as well. Number 26 is aging is privilege. Take pride, not shame. Matalas ang mga nage-hate sa akin sa TikTok, mga lalaki. Kasabihin nila, oh expired ka na. Parang ako, dude. Ano ako? Dilata. Ganon. Siyempre kasi nga, going back. Iba yung mentality. May pinanood na akong video dyan. It's always the people na walang experiences, kulang sa education. It's always them who think they're better than you. People na may pinag-aralan somehow, may experiences, may manners, nag-take na time, mag-self-work. Sila yung less na nag-de-judge sa mga tao. Pinanood ko lang yun. Hindi yun akin. It's not just about school education. It's about experiences, mga pinagdaanan, yung mga nasolve ng mga problems. Yung mga ganon tao, madalas hindi sila yung nag-de-judge na mga ganon. Yung ganon ka-intense. It's always people with so much insecurities, hindi pa nagagawa yung self-work. Mostly, it's them. Number 27, your body will thank you 10 years from now. So sabi ng trainer ko, lahat ng efforts ginawa ko noong 20s ko, sa 30s ko yung nagkita. Lahat ng efforts nang ginawa ko sa 30s, sa 40s ko magkita. So you work 10 years in advance. Kaya diba, minsan natataka tayo. Wala namang problema noong 30s, bigyan nagkasakit noong 40s. Kasi ganon daw yung body. Kaya invest in yourself. Take care of yourself. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. Ayaw naman natin yung pera natin maubos sa kakabalin ng gamit. Tapos wala naman tayong napundar or na-invest. Diba parang alalim ng word napundar? Number 28 is emotional intelligence matters more than titles. Ayaw nyo na mga kaibigan na walang emotional intelligence. Definitely, ayaw nyo ng partner na pag may sinabi kayo, hindi nyo naiitindihan. Ayaw natin ng ganyan. Friendships, sa work, minsan kailangan natin mag-tease. Sige, i-accept ko na yun. Partnerships, ayaw natin ng ganyan. Minsan sa family, kailangan din natin mag-tease. Kasi family natin yun eh. Wala tayong choice. Pace is valid. Stop looking at other people's feeds, reels. For inspiration, yes. But for comparison, para or slow, it's still progress. Number 30 is apologies without change are manipulation. So, it's time for you to pack your things and go. Number 31 is rejection is redirection. Guys, sa work or sa business, sa lalaki, sa opportunities, experiences. So, recently, an experience ko is so many brands nag-approach sakin. Kasi nagagagawa na sa social media, but I really put that good amount on my post. And ang paniniwala ko diyan, take it or leave it. Yun yung halaga ko. There's this one brand, lagi siya nag-message sakin, bigay lang phone, papagawa ng five reels, five stories. Nakailang paliwanag na ako na I'm sorry. Access travel is running because I built a reputation. So, I cannot make this post for you. So, rejection yun. But other things come along. New clients access travel, new clients happy lab, new business opportunities. So, hindi lang it's one thing eh. So, siyempre sad na ganun yung tingin nila sakin. Ba't na-realize ko iba-iba naman perception sakin ng tao eh. Yung iba, ganun yung tingin sakin. Yung iba dito lang, yung iba dito lang, yung iba dito lang. So, meron pa nga isang story eh. Someone sent me a message na gusto daw nila i-represent ko yung isang thing sa Philippines. Alam nyo magano ang binigay nila sakin? 1,000 pesos per reel. I was shocked. 40 reels. 1,000 pesos per reel. That's one year contract daw. So, medyo no-friend ako dun. Nagmaliwanag ako sa voice message. I'm so sorry. But as in, I wanna know, eto lang ba talaga ang tingin nyo sa work ko? Eto lang yung worth ko? Sabi nung girl, foreigner daw yung boss niya. Kaya ganun. Sabi ko, sorry, I'm not working with you guys. I really had good ideas for your brand. But I'm sorry. I'm not taking this. And ayoko na. Kasi ganun lang pala tingin nyo sakin. Tsaka sa work ko. So, parang hindi tayo nagmamatch ng values. Number 32, boundaries attract respect. Pag may boundaries ka, may self-respect ka eh na, hindi ko to deserve, deserve ko to, papatulan ko to, hindi ko to papatulan. Hindi lang yung respect from other people. But also your self-respect. Number 33 is gratitude is grounding. Just be thankful for everything. That's it. Yung mga bagay na meron tayo, ibang tao wala. Number 34, you're allowed to outgrow people, places, even past versions of yourself. Number 34 to, kasi 35 na ako soon. Wala na sigurong version na to next year. Baka bumalik na ako sa version ko na lagi ako naka bikini. Kasi saan naman yung workouts ko? Version ko yun nung 20s. And pwede nyo rin balikan anytime. Baka next year, hindi ko na pala gusto yung version ko naka Zimmerman. Parang summer version ko lang yun. So be open to changes. Be open to new seasons of life. And be open to outgrowing people. Alam nyo ba gaano kasaya makamit ng bagong tao? Gaano kasaya magmove ng bagong city? Hindi ko sinasabing magmove ko yun, but please, if you can, please go for it. Sabi ko nga eh, parang nagsisawa na ako sa Madrid, saan na ako lilipat next? O diba, naisip ko pa yun, e sobrang mahal ko yung Madrid. Kasi pinunta ko sa Madrid, hindi nangyari. So sabi ko, parang nagsisawa na ako. Lipat kayo ako ng Rome. Lipat kayo ako ng Amalfi Coast. O diba, it's just outgrowing things is one of the best things na na-master ko na. That's all guys. This was a long episode. Kasi yung iba nag-request ng longer episodes. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you'll also share your lessons with me sa comment or message me. Ang dami ko na tatanggap na message sa inyo. I'm so grateful. Thank you so much for everything. And yes, so let's connect on my Instagram, Anjali Dub. Life in Progress PH is the account of my podcast. My YouTube is Anjali Dub. My Spotify is Life in Progress and the TikTok of my podcast is Life in Progress Pod. That's all guys. Bye.