Focusing Deeply on One Thing | Robert Greene

The people you envy are not doing nearly as well as you think, so don't let that influence your decisions in life. Yeah, something that I think many a person struggle with, which is in part this idea of focusing on the thing in front of you versus getting too distracted with other opportunities. And I wanted to talk to you about this idea of focus. Sure. And how important you think it is for mastery. Yeah. I meet so many young people who will say to me, oh, I'm doing this little crypto thing here, and I've got this hair business here, and I've got this other thing here. What would you say to those people that are trying to become a master in this world as it relates to focus? It's funny because I'm helping the son of an old friend of mine who's got that problem, and he's incredibly successful. I hope he's not listening to this. He's 20 years old. He's very wealthy. He's done amazing things. But he's one of those people who spread himself out to all these different things. And I can't find a through line what connects them all except making money and having connections and stuff. And it's very alluring in this world, particularly where there's so many possibilities where you can get on the internet, you can learn this, that, the other people are doing these things. You can get into crypto. You can start your own business here. You can get into the health and fitness world. And then later on, try to figure out how to connect them all. But life doesn't work like that. That's not how the brain functions. That's not what we were meant for. Because it doesn't start from you. The whole thing has to start from you. It can't start from the world. It can't start from what other people are doing. It can't start from what's sexy. It has to come from within. If it doesn't come from within, then you're going to be floundering for years and years and years. And so what I've done with this young person, whose name I won't mention, but I love dearly, is what is it that really is in your heart? What is it that you really, really love? How can we connect this crypto with this media business that you're starting, with the sports world that you're starting, with this fitness thing? What connects them all, you know? And to me, I was thinking, I was getting this sense, we haven't solved it yet, but he's kind of excited by celebrities and by that world. And that's fine. I think there's nothing wrong with that. So I'd say, well, maybe what connects all this is the film business, right? Because the film business is pretty wide ranging. To be a producer, to raise money, you're dealing with all kinds of different people. You're networking, you're meeting starlets. You know, it's a glamorous life, but it's focused, okay? So, you know, when you focus on something, the world just kind of opens up, but you have to be focusing on the right thing. So if you were meant to be a writer, and then you decide because you want money to go into law school, and then you focus very deeply on law school, what will happen is for a year or two, you'll be able to skid by, but then the wheels will start going slower and slower because you're not interested in it. You're not connected to it. You get bored and your focus will start falling to pieces. But if it's something you love, you can focus on that for 7, 8, 10, 12 years and never get bored. From observing a certain family member of mine do a very similar thing, part of it as well is that when she would start one pursuit, starting X business, it would get hard, as it always does. And when you look over at the person across the road, they seem to be having a much easier life with their thing or with their crypto or with their whatever. And they tell you the story of how much money they've made and how easy it was, whatever. So you get tempted into believing that the grass is greener. You pursue that. So now you're doing two things. Now your first thing starts to suffer. And I think especially in the early season of life, when you don't have Elon Musk resources, much of the game is focusing enough on one thing to build those resources so that you have the chance of being able to do it more than one thing or spreading your bets a bit more. But in that first season, when you're in resource accumulation phase, I think my early investors in my company, I remember one day emailing my first investor, who's a very successful man, and saying, I've got an idea. And it was an idea other than the one he'd invested in. And I remember the email, I was 18 years old, and he hit me so hard on that email. He was like, if you don't focus on one thing, you will never- But you were the one that was interested in this other- Yeah, I was trying to fight that. Yeah, so my investor, he was a very successful man. And I emailed him this other idea, which I thought was amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he sent me this email back, which was like being hit by a whip. And he was like, if you don't focus on one thing now, you will never be successful. Because also you rob yourself, as you said, of the chance of accumulating deep skills. Yeah, yes, it is. Yeah, I remember, this is something that wise people know. And if you're young, if you have like a mentor, like you did, who could tell you the truth, the ropes as they are, it will help save you years of misery. I remember when we were at American Apparel, it was the year 2007. The company was just about to go public. I was about to be put on the board of directors. And this man came to me, who was like your investor. And he said, Robert, just make sure that Dove doesn't mindlessly expand. Make the brand focused. Have it focused on one thing, and then he will be successful. At the time, I thought that was interesting, but I didn't really have the guts to like explain that to Dove. But there are people out there who understand the truth of this. But the other thing about envy, like you say, you see your other friend doing crypto, and they're having so much fun and making so much money. To tell you, it's bullshit. They're not having as much fun as you think, right? People create a front on Instagram or TikTok or wherever, where life seems so glorious. But they're never having as much fun as you might imagine, you know? In my book, Laws of Human Nature, I talk about Aristotle Onassis, who in the 60s was the wealthiest man in the world. He was married to John F. Kennedy's widow, Jacqueline Kennedy, Jacqueline Onassis. Who could be happier than that? He had yachts, et cetera. He was the most unhappiest, miserable person in the world, as Jacqueline Kennedy explained in her autobiography. He was such a mean-spirited, unhappy person. Yet everybody envied him because he had this beautiful wife and all that money. The people you envy are not doing nearly as well as you think. So don't let that influence your decisions in life.