14 Life-Changing Tips For First Time Moms & Dads

As I record this video, we're expecting our third child to arrive any day now, and as we've been preparing for their arrival, it's got me thinking about how different it is this time around compared to our first. We're definitely much more relaxed and less anxious, and a lot of that has to do with the fact that there aren't anywhere near as many unknowns this time around. We've been through the newborn phase twice already, so the third time around doesn't seem anywhere near as daunting, which got me thinking, what are the most important pieces of advice I could share with new parents to help take away some of that uncertainty, stress and anxiety out of the whole experience? So that's what I'm going to share with you in this video. These are 14 of the most important pieces of advice I would give to any new parent. Starting with one topic that hits a lot of new parents the hardest, sleep. You may think your newborn is going to be calm, peaceful and quiet when they're sleeping, but in actual fact, they're going to be quite noisy and look like this most of the time. You'll hear them grunting and making lots of noises and also moving around quite a bit. This is because newborns spend most of their time in REM sleep, and because they don't experience sleep prowls like we do as adults, they grunt, cry out, move around, smile and laugh while they sleep, which means your newborn is going to be an extremely noisy sleeper. This is important to know because often new parents will rush in to pick their baby up as soon as they hear them making noises, not realizing that they're actually still asleep, and this means they unintentionally wake the baby from their nap. The key with a newborn is to pause and give them a minute when you hear them making noises to see if they're actually awake before going in and picking them up. You'll find quite often that they actually settle again and continue their nap. Continuing on the topic of sleep, using a swaddle is a great way to help your newborn achieve good quality sleep, and this is because it creates an environment like the mother's womb, providing a sense of security and warmth. Furthermore, a swaddle can also help to dampen the startle reflex, which is a normal reflex that is triggered when there is a sudden movement or noise, and this startle reflex often results in waking a baby prematurely from their sleep. And most importantly, using a swaddle makes it easier to transfer a sleeping baby from your arms into the cot. So if you don't have one already, you might want to purchase a swaddle to give it a try with your little one, especially if you're struggling with their sleep. Now this next one might surprise you a little. As a new mom, I would become very worried when I couldn't get my daughter to burp because I'd heard that the trap gas would actually lead to stomach pains or wind and cause my daughter to become a fussy baby. But I soon realized that she was perfectly happy whether I burped her or not. There's actually been a study done that indicates babies who are burped are no less fussy than those who aren't, and in lots of cultures, burping is just not a thing. So if you're struggling to burp your little one, or if you find you need to wake them from a sleep to burp them after a feed, see what happens if you don't. If your little one is content and happy, then try giving burping a miss. But if your little one is fussy, has reflux, or is just more settled when you do burp them, then burp away. The main thing to take away here is that if you're spending a long time trying to burp your little one after every feed and it's becoming a bit arduous, don't just assume it's something you have to do. You might just find that you don't need to burp them at all, which is exactly what we found with our first two. Something else that I think you'll find really helpful is that newborns use baby cues to communicate with you from day one. Instead of using words to communicate with you, your newborn will use subtle facial and body cues. There are actually specific facial and body cues that newborns use to tell you that they are hungry, tired, wanting to play, or even needing a break. By understanding what these subtle cues are, you can quickly start to work out what your newborn is trying to communicate and meet their needs. And this will make parenting a newborn significantly easier, as well as help to strengthen the relationship between you and your baby. While all babies are very different, some of the most common cues to look for are rubbing their eyes and starting to fuss or yawn when they're tired, opening their mouth and actually turning their head and immediately starting to suck onto their hand, or searching for something to suck on when they're hungry. And when they're ready to play, you'll notice that their body and arm movements become smooth and their eyes become wide and bright. And when they're overstimulated and trying to tell you that they need a break, you might notice a reduction in eye contact and they may actually turn their head away from you, or they just turn their eyes away from you. One thing that you'll realize early on is that you need to find ways to calm your little one when they get upset. And one of the most effective calming strategies for newborns is sucking. They have a really strong desire to suck, and whether it's a nipple, bottle, their hands or a pacifier, it's going to be a really effective way to calm them down. When a baby sucks, their brain releases the hormones dopamine, serotonin and endorphins, and these help to soothe and calm a baby. Now newborns don't yet have the hand strength or coordination to place their hands in their mouth to suck them. So for that reason, a pacifier can be an extremely helpful alternative. In addition to helping soothe a fussy baby, pacifiers can help relieve pain during minor medical procedures like blood tests and vaccinations, as well as reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome when they're offered to infants one month of age and older at the onset of sleep. This next tip is around something every parent experiences with their newborn, and it's a tough one. It's called the witching hour or the period of purple crying, and it's a completely normal developmental phase all newborns experience. It usually begins at around two weeks of age, and you'll notice that your baby starts to become fussy and harder to soothe in the afternoons or evenings. Often it hits just as you feel like you're getting on top of the whole sleep situation, so many parents start to worry that there's something wrong with their little one, but it is just part of their normal development. When it's happening, it may look like your baby is in pain even though they are not, and often the crying is unexpected and you can't identify why they're unsettled or upset. You'll notice that the length of time your baby is unsettled each afternoon or evening will actually gradually increase and peak at six to eight weeks of age, and at its peak it can last as long as five hours or more a day. It will then start to decrease until it eventually stops at around three to four months of age. Although this phase is difficult, it can be extremely helpful to know that it is developmentally normal behavior which will pass in time. Something I talk about quite often on this channel is tummy time. It's a really important activity that provides a wide range of developmental benefits for your baby, and these include helping to strengthen all the muscles in their body, including the muscles on the neck, back, arm, shoulder, bottom, and legs, and these are the muscles your baby is going to use to roll over, sit up, crawl, stand, and then walk. Tummy time also helps open your little one's hands and encourage their thumbs to come out of their palm when they place weight through their hands to lift their head, and it provides an opportunity for them to practice weight shifting and balancing, which is a skill they need to master before they are able to roll, crawl, move in and out of sitting, plus lots more. It also provides an opportunity for them to develop their visual skills, including depth perception. But what a lot of new parents don't realize is that you can actually start doing tummy time with your baby from day one, as long as your baby was born full-term with no medical complications. And when you do start tummy time with a newborn, it's important to know that you don't have to do it directly on the ground. Often that's simply too hard for a newborn. One easy way to reduce the difficulty for your little one is to do it with them on your chest. Simply laying them on your chest and reclining back so that you're sitting on an angle and not lying flat on the floor is a great tummy time activity and a nice bonding experience for you too. The more upright you are, the easier it is for your baby, and you can gradually recline more and more over time as they get stronger and develop this skill. But the main thing here is that you start early. It's much harder to start tummy time if you wait to start it, and starting early also helps to reduce the risk of positional conditions like torticollis and plagiocephaly. If tummy time is something you struggle with, you might also want to take a look at my course Play Develop Thrive, as tummy time is a huge topic and I cover it in lots more detail in that course, including how to do it if your baby hates it. And I also cover everything else relating to your little one's development for their first 12 months of life in that course as well. There's a link to that in the description if you'd like more details. This next one is a safety tip that surprises a lot of parents, and that is that babies should never be left to sleep in a car seat or a capsule. Car seats and capsules are not designed for safe sleeping for long periods of time. Although it may be tempting to leave a newborn to sleep in the car seat after a journey has finished, it's important to take that baby out of the car seat or the capsule once you arrive at your destination. And that's because research has shown that babies left in an upright or slanted position, unsupervised, or for a long period of time may be placed at increased risk of sudden infant death. And there's a few reasons for this. When sitting in a car seat or a capsule, a baby's neck may actually fall forward, putting them in a chin to chest position which may block the baby's airway and lead to positional asphyxiation. And the extra padding in the car seats, which is required to ensure your little one's safety in the case of a car accident, can increase your baby's overall body temperature and result in overheating. And overheating is a known risk factor for SUTI. It is due to these risk factors that the American Academy of Pediatrics and Red Nose Australia recommend taking the baby out of the car seat when the journey is finished. And if you are taking a long car trip, you take frequent breaks where you take the child out of the car seat at regular intervals. Now at some point your baby is going to develop a fever and you might be tempted to assume that this is just because they are teething. But did you know that teething doesn't actually cause fevers? Studies have shown that teething can cause a slight increase in body temperature, but it does not cause a true fever, which is when your baby's body temperature is over 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit or 38 degrees Celsius. The reason this is worth mentioning is because it's quite common for illnesses and infections to go untreated for a period of time due to the assumption that it's just teething. So if your little one has a fever, don't just assume it's teething. Make sure you go and seek appropriate medical care for your little one just to be on the safe side. It may also surprise you to hear that your newborn doesn't need to be bathed every single day. In fact, bathing them every single day can actually cause more harm than good. And this is because your baby's skin is still developing in the first few months of their life, and their skin is much thinner, more fragile and more sensitive than yours. And frequent bathing can actually result in your baby's skin drying out. So to avoid worsening skin conditions and drying out your baby's skin, it's recommended that you bath your baby two to three times a week. And this is only after your newborn's umbilical cord stump has actually fallen off, which may take a week or two. And while that umbilical cord stump is still attached, it's recommended that you sponge bath your baby as required. As new parents, we often strive to create the perfect nursery for our newborn. And when I was shopping for sleeping products for my first child, I was overwhelmed by the amount of products out there. You have gorgeous comforters, stuffed toys, fluffy blankets, crib bumpers, newborn positioning pillows, quilt sets and much more. But what I quickly realized is that all of these sleeping products, although stunning, were just unnecessary and pose significant safety risks. In fact, to reduce the risks of SIDS and accidental suffocation, the American Academy of Pediatrics and Red Nose Australia recommend a baby sleeps on a separate sleep surface with a firm flat mattress covered by a fitted sheet. That is it. They don't need all those other items in their crib or bassinet. While we are talking about baby products, another thing parents are often surprised about is that baby bounces, rockers, swings and gliders should only ever be used for supervised playtime. So although baby bounces, rockers, swings and gliders are great tools for soothing a baby or keeping them entertained while giving you a few moments with your hands free, they should never ever be used for infant sleep. And this is because when a baby falls asleep while lying in these products, their head can fall forward, pushing their chin down towards their chest, which can lead to the baby's airways becoming blocked and reducing their airflow and causing suffocation. And it is due to this risk that Red Nose Australia and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend only using baby bounces, rockers, swings and gliders for supervised playtime. The next thing that all new parents should know is that when you are baby wearing, it's vital that you follow the ticks rule. Although baby wearing has many benefits, it can actually be dangerous for your baby if they're positioned incorrectly. And when you follow the ticks rule, it actually helps to reduce the risk of accidental suffocation by reminding you on how you should actually position your baby safely when they're in a baby carrier or a sling. So the T in ticks stands for tight and that means that the sling itself should be tight so that the baby is positioned high and upright and they're given head support. So you want to avoid any loose fabric which can cause your baby to slump down and restrict their breathing. The I stands for in view at all times. So you should be able to see your baby's face by simply looking down and your baby's face and nose and mouth should remain uncovered. The C stands for close enough to kiss. So your baby should be close enough to your chin that you can actually easily kiss their forehead. And the K stands for keeping the chin off the chest. So you always want to ensure that your baby's chin is up and away from their body. Your baby should never be curled so that the chin is forced into their chest because this can actually restrict their breathing. And the S stands for supported back. Your baby's back should be supported in a neutral position with their tummy and chest against you. And the last thing you need to know is that not all baby equipment on the market is developmentally beneficial for your baby and in fact they can pose safety risks. As a new mum I assumed that all baby products were safe for babies to use and developmentally beneficial. But I soon discovered that this is not necessarily the case and a lot of baby products may hinder development and pose serious safety risks for babies. So make sure you watch this video next to find out which four extremely popular and common baby products are unsafe for babies to use so you can make an informed decision about whether or not you want to buy them for your little one. 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