20 Ways a Husband Can Show Love to His Wife/vlad vaschuk

20 ways a husband can show love to his wife. In the scriptures, Ephesians 5.25, it says husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. The next verse it says that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. New verses down, it says Ephesians 5.28, for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church. Colossians 3.19, husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. One of the best questions a husband can ask his wife, do you feel loved by me? Now that's a dangerous question because if your wife gives you this long pause, this could be a troubling pause. But you know, it's one thing to love your wife, but it's another thing for her to feel loved by you. Most husbands that I meet, they will say, yeah, I love my wife. But if you talk to the wife, you will hear that she doesn't feel loved by him. There's an author that wrote a book about five love languages, how each person feels love differently. And sometimes we speak in a foreign language toward our wives and they don't feel loved by us. So I want to mention to you 20 things you can do, practical things, things you can do today, tomorrow and the day after to make your wife feel loved by you. They may not apply to every woman, but I do believe as you hear them, you will also recognize that most likely your wife has been complaining about some of these things. Sometimes that's how you know certain things that you do do not make her feel loved is if she constantly complains about particular things. So number one, buy her flowers. Make a habit to buy your wife flowers regularly. For those of you who live in the United States, Costco has some good flowers. You know, and buy good flowers and buy them regularly. It communicates this romantic affection pursuit. Most of us guys, we bought flowers when we were dating and then we got lazy when we got married. We're like, well, I'm busy providing, I'm busy with my work, plus she's busy with kids and we just have so much things to do, I don't have time for that. God wants us to have this romantic passion and love in our marriage. And one of them that helps that is buying flowers. Second thing, take her out on the date. So go out on a date. Take her out on a date. There's nothing wrong with having it in the house, cooking a beautiful meal and enjoying the time together. There's something happens when you take your wife out of the house, you both dress up and you go on a date. I heard one pastor said, if there will be more courting in our marriages, less of our marriages will be in courts. When we were single, ready to mingle, dating, you know, we dated people. We dated the people that we loved. And many people only date their date, don't date their mate. So date your mate. Date your wife by pursuing her. And it's practical. Schedule a date. You may not be able to do it every week, but do something that's occasional, that's regular, that's a routine, habitual, you know, find a babysitter and prioritize. Find that new restaurant or that new eating place and take her out. Yes, it takes a little bit of money, but I can tell you, it's way less expensive than a divorce attorney. Number three, open the car door for her, whether it's in your garage or on the parking lot of a grocery store, on the parking lot of the church. I heard someone say, when you see a man opening a car door to his woman, usually it means two things, a new car or a new woman, you know, and sadly, it's true. Many times when we were dating before we got married, you know, we were very courteous, very gentlemen, like opening the car door, showing respect and honor. And we get married, kind of rush to our door and just get in. And so it does show this respect, honor and pursuit. And it's beautiful. And a lot of ladies will appreciate it. Number four, now we're getting into some real business. Load the dishes and take them out when the dishwasher finishes washing them. Or if you don't have a dishwasher, wash the dishes. It is something about serving along in the household. For a lot of us, our wives, they stay home and they take care of our home. But one of the biggest complaints most wives have is that the husbands do not help with house chores. Even if your wife's primary love language is not serving, you can still make her day better, show her love by doing some of these practical things like loading dishes. In fact, you might need to stop this video right now and go to the sink, clean the dishes. Number five, become her photographer without complaining. Now this one is hard. Most women want to have pictures taken of them. Sometimes they want pictures to be taken of them and you, but usually of them. And as husbands, we're not good photographers. Not only that, we're really good at complaining. We're like, why do you need another picture? Who cares about it? You know, you don't have enough followers on Instagram. Plus it's not about what people think or like. Let's enjoy this time together. And I understand all of this reasoning and they have a place. But when your wife wants a photo, you got to put that smile on and appreciate it. Appreciate her beauty, appreciate her and take the photo and don't complain. In fact, take a lot of photos so she can have options to choose. I used to be a complainer when my wife would ask for a photo and I was like, I'm not a photographer. Why do we need a photo? I don't want photos. I don't want to take photos. And I had to kind of come alongside and realize that this matters to her. And instead of lecturing her on why she shouldn't have a lot of photos, I just became her photographer. Number six, compliment her on her looks and also her character. Now the reason why I mentioned looks first and character second is because a lot of women you know, when they fell in love with us, the wife, she fell in love with you. One of the things that you did before you got married is you were very specific and also you were constantly complimenting her on her looks and of course, her character. The Bible says a lot about woman's character and the beauty is fleeing, the beauty is not as important. But to every woman, a wife especially, she wants to feel beautiful. She wants to know she's beautiful specifically to her husband. It doesn't matter what other men think about her, whether she's beautiful or not. She is fishing for that. And as a husband, you should be the one to let her catch that fish. Let her receive those compliments from you. Not some stranger and not somebody in her work, some other friend or somebody on social media. And so compliment her. And not just like, oh yeah, you look great. Add some other words to it. How's her hair? How's her face? Her outfit? How she looks in it? This is hard personally for me. I can describe hell, heaven, demons, the Holy Spirit. And when I got married, complimenting my wife on her looks became difficult. I loved how she looked. I appreciated it. I just lacked words. And she corrected me one time and she said, you know, you're very stingy with your words. And I realized I was because I thought it, just never vocalized it. I would look at her and I would appreciate her. I just never got to actually say it. And I realized that the thoughts in my mind about her beauty, her character, her commitment to God, her loyalty, her perseverance, her integrity, these thoughts I had, they do not bless her if they're not vocalized. Because my wife, she's not a mind reader, nor is your wife. That's why the Bible says, Jesus washes His church with the Word, not just with His thoughts. God thinks thoughts about us. That's not what washes us. It's the words. So husbands, this is very hard for us because we don't go into details. Like when we were dating, yeah, we were very expressive. When we got married, we're just kind of like, yeah, cool, awesome, good, awesome. Yeah, you look great. That's not enough. You got to wash her with the Word, not just with some drops, with the Word. So become more expressive than you're comfortable. Especially a lot of husbands complain like, man, I wish my wife would be a little bit more open sexually and desire that more. Well, think of this, if you become more expressive verbally, she will become more open also in other areas that you want her to be more open in. Number seven, this is also basic household chore. Take the garbage out. And this is hard for us as men, not because the garbage is heavy, it's just kind of annoying. You know, let the kids take it out. Let somebody else take it out. Let the wife take it out. And sometimes we're, you know, doing something, working or watching something or, and then, you know, we hear that, hey, can you take the garbage out? And a lot of us were like, nah, I'll do it tomorrow. But taking it right away, you show that contribution to the family and that shows love. Number eight, make a habit, make it a habit to lift the toilet seat when you use it and lower it afterward. Okay, this is a neat explanation. Number nine, hold her hand in public. When you walk in the mall, I heard somebody say, the reason why I hold my wife's hand in the mall is for the economical purposes. So she doesn't run into the stores. It's funny, but it's not why we need to hold our wife's hand in the public. Because we're married. When you were dating, you know, you couldn't get enough of her physically. Pursue that in marriage by being intentional to be romantic in public and hold her hand in public. Number 10, go for a walk without a phone. What would happen if occasionally you would go for a walk around your neighborhood without a phone? Just holding your spouse's hand. The wife will feel more connected. The wife will feel like you're more in tune and it will be a great deal to her making her feel loved. Number 11, kiss her more and hug her without trying to initiate sex. There's something about kissing. There's a lot of other benefits to it. Statistics even say, you know, husbands who kiss their wives before they're going to work. There's a lot of blessings in it and it could lead to a lot of good things as well, but that's not our intention. And hugging your wife and just maybe extra five seconds just to show that, hey, I love you. You're my soulmate. You're my helpmate and I'm so glad to be doing life with you. Number 12, share with them about your day. Not in bulletin points, but also try to share how you felt. Now, this is again hard to do because we are as guys, when we come from work, from an appointment or a meeting, we like to say, it was good. We sorted things out. We worked things out and we don't like to say anything more because this woman happens to be our wife, seems to be nosy. She wants to know everything. And early in our marriage, I started to understand how important it is for my wife, not only to get the bulletin points. Now, I'm not talking about if I consult somebody, I need to come and tell my wife everything about it. Not that. But the basic meetings that I had. For example, right before this video, I was in a meeting with one of our leaders at the church. We discussed different things and my wife knew I went to the meeting. So I came. She's like, how did it go? You know, it could have been, it's easy for me to say, oh, it was great and then go and record the video. You know, and I sat down and for the next six, seven minutes, shared how it went, what we talked about, what was the response and kind of tried to add a little bit more of how I felt. I felt really good and just kind of encouraged her so that she feels included in my life. She feels involved in my life and she wants to be. She doesn't have to attend every single thing, but if I only give her these bulletin points or these short answers, yeah, it was good. Now it's easier for me as a man and trust me, I do not want to go into any details. I'm like, this is not an essay. This is just a quick outline. If you really want to make your wife feel loved, involve her. Invite her into that by being slightly sharing more details than you usually do. Number 13, remember her birthday and your anniversary. Plan something ahead. Set up like 20 reminders before that. It's incredible. When a wife forgets the birthday or usually she doesn't forget the birthday, but the anniversary and you remember it. This happened quite a few times in our marriage and my wife was really grateful that I remembered it. Number 14, this is hard for us as men, husbands especially. Listen to understand, not to respond. I'm guilty of this because usually when I listen to my wife, she's halfway through the sentence, I already know what she needs to do. So of course, I can't wait for her to finish so that I can tell her the solution that the Lord is providing through His man of God, servant, her husband. And most of the wives, most of the time, do not need a solution. They want somebody to understand. And it's difficult for us to understand because we are solution oriented as men. We have a solution for every problem. And even if we don't have a solution, we pretend we have a solution for every problem. And sometimes wives feel like I'm not being heard. Not because we're not listening. It's that we're not listening to understand, to feel. We're listening to respond. Number 15, pray for your wife and tell her that you prayed for her. That's huge. You know, I try to regularly, almost every morning, pray for my wife. We're pregnant right now, so we have about, you know, 50 days until baby boys due. And I'm praying for her pregnancy, praying for her mind, her body, her soul, everything. And I don't tell her every time, but every time I do tell her, I know that she feels loved because you truly love someone when you pray for them. Number 16, share with your wife what the Lord has spoken to you in your quiet time. For example, you went to prayer and the Lord kind of said something to you. One of the best things you can do either on your date or just as you go for a walk to share, hey, I've been praying and the Lord spoke to us, really encouraged me, and just share that. As a man, as a husband, it means a great deal for your wife to know, my husband is not only the head of the house, but he's also under the lordship of Jesus Christ. He hears God. He walks with God. It builds a lot of confidence and security in the woman. Number 17, renew your marriage vows every 10 years. Now, you can do it earlier. You don't have to do a wedding. You could just bring a few friends, family, some elders in the church. Some husbands like to buy a ring every 10 years or upgrade the ring. It's not necessary, but that idea of renewing vows, you're almost like telling your spouse, I choose you again. If I could choose you again, I want to choose you again. And it makes a great deal. It shows love. You don't have to do it, but it's something nice. Number 18, help your wife to reach her calling. What are her dreams? What are her desires? Help her. I know the Bible says that the wife is a helper to the husband, but this doesn't mean that a husband cannot also help his wife. And in any way that you can, help her to reach her calling. Number 19, show support for her family and your in-laws. Especially if her family are getting older, her parents are getting older, sometimes she would want to support them financially. And you would be like, I don't have time, but show support for them. You know, when maybe sometimes you want to host them or even in their old age, provide some kind of a living place for them. Show support for her family. Don't bash her family. She's part of that. And it's actually your family as well. Number 20, provide for her financially so she doesn't have to work. Now, I know this is controversial for some people, but I think most of the women, especially when they become mothers, they want to take care of the family. And if you are able to, it means a great deal when your wife doesn't have to have a full-time job and also raise the kids or to allow the daycare to raise the kids. And most wives would really, really appreciate that. Requires some planning, requires some wisdom and stewardship on our end as men to be able to provide in such a way. And lastly, just a bonus, don't hang out too much with single guys. Why? If all of your friends are single guys, mark my word, in a matter of time, you will be single too. So surround yourself with married dudes, hang out more with them. Not saying don't hang out with single guys. Make sure you don't spend too much time with guys that are single. You want to spend time with married folk so that they can also encourage your marriage. Not with the divorced ones who will kind of tell you, yeah, leave that, leave that wife. You know, look at how great I'm living because I am single and I'm divorced. Do not follow that crowd. Bad crowd corrupts good morals. Any other things have I missed? Men, share this in the comments below. And wives, if you watch this video secretly so you can send it to your husband, was there anything that I shared that you will say, yeah, that's right? Or maybe things I missed that you would say, Something else he needs to mention. Let me know in the comments below. I would love to hear your insight and your input. As always, don't forget to hit like, subscribe, share this video with other people, and I will see you next time.