if i was in this relationship...i'd be single for life after🙃

If I was in any of these relationships, I would probably stay single after that. I feel like we've all had one of those relationships in life where you're like, I'm never dating again. That was horrible. Yet here we are dating again and probably married for some people. My apologies. It quite literally sounds like someone's hammering the ceiling below me. So we're going to have to tune that out as best as we can. Condo life. Guys, future Joss here. I figured out what all that noise was. Apparently they're renovating the management office in my condo building. First story, my husband planned an affair on the trip I planned and paid for. I'm seeing red. I'm already seeing red for you. This story came October 14th, 2025. I'm 32 female and my husband is 36 male. We've been married for two years and together for nine. And up until yesterday, I thought we were genuinely happy together. A bit of context. We have this thing where I changed my name to random things on his phone every few months. They're always funny and well over the top. The last one was something like perfect human form. It's just a joke that's gone on for a few years. So yesterday he was in the shower and his work phone was out. So I changed my name and his contacts. As I did so, a notification for Snapchat came through with an image and the name of a woman that he knew back home. He is from another country and moved here to the UK around 10 years ago. As this was his work phone, it was really weird. So I clicked on it. It opened into a five-day streak chat with this woman with seriously crude texts, photos of both of them, not the face, and then planning to meet up when he goes back. Dates, times, locations, and everything. She was even planning on taking a sick day from work. If you guys don't know Snapchat well, a five-day streak means that they have continued that chat for five days straight. Snapchat will count a streak based on like how many days you're talking to someone like without stopping the conversation for more than 24 hours. One of his d-pics was in our bed with me in the house. He's booked to go back for a few weeks at the end of November to see a very sick relative. I paid for his flight so that he could see them before they passed. I had a panic attack and he walked out of the shower to see me hyperventilating. I asked him why and how he could. He said it was only talking and that he had been feeling neglected recently. I asked how. He said work was stressful and that he just wanted someone who wanted him for him and that he doesn't feel like he's ever enough for me. I'm angry. I hate. I was feeling neglected. I felt like you. So leave. So communicate to me. Go to counseling with me. So pick me. Choose me. Tell me what you need or leave and do whatever you want. I hate when people come up with that kind of stuff for cheating. Like you literally can be single and send d-pics to whoever you want. Bye bye if that's what you need to do. Oh we're getting angry. We're getting angry. We're going crazy. We're being dramatic. Reign it in. I had no idea. He hasn't mentioned anything and nothing has changed. A few years ago, I think three or four, when we first moved into our house, he shared that he sometimes didn't feel enough for me. We went to counseling and worked through it. A major effort was made on both of our sides to get through it and I thought we had. The thing is I know I can work hard. I'm closer to a type A than a type B but I'm pretty successful career-wise and not massively touchy-feely. But I'm not closed off and have never given a crap about his job or anything like that. I even supported him for two years when he took a career break to try and become an actor. Bless you. For F's sake, he hasn't even paid towards the mortgage in four years as I didn't want him to feel dependent on me or stretch his pay too thin. I don't know why I'm posting or what I expect from this. I just don't know what to do. I've kicked him out for now but there are major logistics to deal with as I work away and we have two dogs. How do I navigate this? I absolutely consider this cheating. How can I make sure I don't let myself forgive him? He has been my life for almost 10 years. I have supported him in every way. Can I end it for a week of messages? How can I not end it after that? Everyone's gonna have a different opinion and experience with this kind of stuff, you know? Some people are like, oh, I could get over that. Some people couldn't. It doesn't help that this man is not showing remorse when you caught him and instead he's blaming you because that's what they do. Cheaters will immediately not sorry. It's, well, here's why I did it. We have an update. A very recent one. It came one month later on November 14th, 2025. Did she leave or did she stay? What am I guessing? Put your guesses in. Put your guesses in before I read. I think she left. Yeah, that's my guess. Let's see if I'm right. To start it off, many of you said that he had been cheating for longer or had done so before. You were right. I originally believed that he had been cheating for only a week, but due to a particularly noticeable carpet in the hotel room, one of the deep pics were taken in, I found out it had been going on for at least a month. He, of course, denied it and lied when confronted, but that month included our nine-year anniversary and countless other events. So it was really, really useful to stop me blaming myself. He's still adamant that it's never happened before, and I do believe him, but that didn't stop me from taking an STI test just in case. All clean. Thank goodness. He also admitted to lying about them having a previous relationship, and I caught him in another lie about Snapchat messages. So he stayed true to form. Since I kicked him out, we've only spoken twice. He left the dogs, so I guess they're my dogs now. And what's a percentage of my house? I can't speak for other countries, but in the UK, marriage for enough years entitles you to half of everything, regardless of who contributed what. Under advice from a lawyer, we are staying amicable, so he only takes the agreed amount and leaves my pension and savings alone. On the dogs, I've got a load more of dog sitters, and I've agreed to let them stay with him while I'm away with work, as long as he covers most of the costs. Outside of this, I did the usual. Changed the locks. Canceled the flight. Yeah. Threw out all of his stuff on bin day and had a full-blown breakdown as a crying drunk for a solid seven days. I have great friends who are supportive, but he's the only family I have and had, so I've started seeing a therapist as well to help process and move forward. I'm taking this as an opportunity for a full reset and evaluation of what I want. So I'm trying to move jobs, sell my house, move closer to friends, and get a load of dental work that I have been putting off. Throw in some injured dogs, and it's turned out to be a truly horrific month. Oh, honestly, it's really sucked, but I'm rebuilding my life to be something I choose, and it's getting easier week by week. And it will, girlfriend. It will get easier. Time heals all... Not all. Time just heals. You might never be fully healed, but it does heal. It really does, you know? We're not gonna talk about this string bean situation. This was a curl. That was a curl. Next story. Am I the a-hole because my girlfriend wants to take her ex-husband to her work Christmas party? Let me just say, that would be a mistletoe murder. No way over my body. How about we hear the situation first before we react? Let's be a mature adult. This story came October 17th, 2025. I, 35 male, have been with my girlfriend, 44 female, for nine months. When we met, she was open about the fact that she had fully separated from her ex, and that they would be starting official divorce proceedings. Those started about one month ago, and it's basically in the early stages. Yesterday, we were talking about work Christmas parties, and she told me her workplace is currently running a poll where the options were go alone, go with your partner, or say you're not going. When I asked what she was thinking of doing, she said she needed to talk to her ex-husband about it, because she was going to take him if that option won, because she didn't want to go and sit alone while everyone else was there with their spouses. What am I? A roach? Obviously, I reacted pretty badly to this. She said she couldn't bring me because nobody there knew me or us. So go alone. You're gonna survive a Christmas party alone knowing that you have someone at home, girl. It's gonna be okay. Who cares if everyone else has their spouses? You have a spouse at home, and if you're not gonna bring them, go alone. Why am I so angry today? I'm not angry. I'm passionate. She had started her job about three months before we met, and everyone there was basically under the impression that she was still married, and that's how things have been when she joined. And she didn't like lots of people knowing her business, separating, divorce, etc. So she just went along with it. She said that bringing me would therefore be weird, I questioned why she would need to go and pretend to be essentially strangers. She could easily just go on her own instead. And she told me I didn't understand how difficult that was for her. She told me I was making it all about me by asking to be prioritized. In my eyes, it was just consideration. That I was acting irrational and being jealous, and that she didn't have to run any of her decisions by me. She then started crying, hung up on me, and texted me to say she wanted space for a few hours. But she hasn't been in touch since, and that was 24 hours ago. I don't know if this girl's over her divorce. Maybe she is not ready to be in a new relationship. Just putting that out there. I haven't reached out because I feel I haven't done anything wrong. I feel really horrible about her wanting to take him along so easily because it feels like she has not considered my feelings about it. We didn't have a conversation about it, she just told me. And so to me, it feels a little disrespectful in our relationship. I know we've not been together long either. So maybe I have no right to be involved in her decisions. But I would expect to at least have a convo about that. Because that decision directly affects us. I also don't understand why she needs to go and pretend to people she doesn't really know. And why she wouldn't have just been able to take that opportunity to explain. But I don't know if I'm just being selfish like she said. Am I the a-hole? I've never been married. So I don't know if I've just majorly downplayed everything and I'm being inconsiderate. Honestly, appreciate everyone's advice and opinions. All right, let's have her. You guys are married. I said, I'm not. So I know some of you out there are married. How would you feel? Is that like reasonable? If you're dating someone new, but you're still going through a divorce and like... I don't know if you're going to convince me of this. But like, hey, we're allowed to have different opinions. Surprising, right? We have an update that came one day later. There were a lot of repeating questions that I didn't answer in the post because it all moved way too quick. So I wanted to answer those in case those commenters were still wondering. Who filed and did I definitely know that they were divorcing? My ex-girlfriend, spoiler alert, had always made out that she had begun proceedings. Honestly, I don't know for definite what they are. But she did have a few meetings with a lawyer when I was with her. And she moved out to her own place in March. So to me, all the signs pointed that way. But of course, it may not have been the truth. Next, why would her ex-husband agree to go? This is a solid question. And if I'm being honest, from what she told me about him, I genuinely don't think he would have. One of the reasons she gave for their marriage collapsing was that he became more anti-social and introverted and stopped wanting to go anywhere and do anything with her. I think that's why it felt worse. Because if she was telling the truth about him, she was willing to take someone who had previously, on multiple occasions, said he didn't want to go and do things. If I'm honest, on reflection, I think that this is an example of her refusing to face reality and clinging onto her old identity. She just thought that he would agree. Because previously, he probably always, begrudgingly, has. And she hadn't appreciated or logically thought about the weight of what she would be asking. If it was me, I certainly would have said no like everyone else said they would too. So, on to the update. We split up, as we knew. I explained that I could see things from her perspective and what her intentions might have been. But that I was hurt and she hadn't felt she could communicate that with me first, as if she had, the outcome might have been different and we could have worked something out. However, I felt her behavior in calling me selfish and the not running decisions by me was disrespectful and inconsiderate. And that was now my major problem in moving forward with the relationship. She replied to say that if I was going to just bring up another source of pain and stress to her life, then I may as well go. Because I was still making the whole thing about me and my feelings and not appreciating her not breaking apart at the seams while her life did. So, she'd be taking more space until I decided what I wanted. Thanks to all of you, I realized how invalidating and again manipulative that was. So, I told her we would make the space permanent and I wished her all the best. Her response was just okay and asking if she could still use my Netflix password. So, I changed it. Then she texted again a little while later asking why I changed it and could I put it back because it had locked her out of the show that she was watching. So, I had a good laugh to myself about the irony of decision making without running a buy her. And I didn't respond. On to better things and a definite lesson learned for the future in seeing the red flags. I can totally get why someone suddenly on their own with individual finances plus lawyer fees and divorce settlement fees, if true, would not want to risk their income suddenly being shut off or being back out of work for a long period. Having said that, I also agree with everyone that there's a difference between the truth and showing up with your ex and essentially playing pretend when there was the option of going alone and just making an excuse for them. Though, I guess I can only see why maybe that would feel awkward or uncomfortable being surrounded by others. End of the day, if she had come to me and explained, maybe we could have worked it out. However, she didn't and everyone was right that her behavior and attitude towards me and the situation was incredibly disrespectful and problematic in the end. You know what time it is. It's hydration station time. Grab your beverage. Let me know what you're drinking, but I will encourage water because we need it. I don't make the rules. Cheers. I'm hyper today. That's not a bad thing. I'm just hyper because I'm happy. What a win. Just as I was bragging about a win, he spilled water all over me right down the hole of my sweater. You guys, I am so proud of this dollarama find that I have to show you. Okay, so Canadian winter, you need one of these for your car. Obviously $5 dollarama. However, watch how cool this is. Okay, also extends goes longer to reach across the car because we all know that's freaking annoying having to go to the other side. Yeah, then see this little guy, right? Yeah, you press it and then it also goes this way. Is this not like, do you guys think this is as cool as I think this is, especially for $5? I was on Amazon and these were like 30 bucks for like a plane one. You're out of your mind. Couldn't be me. Next story, caught my girlfriend of 18 months with another girl. Her absurd reaction. This story came January 7th, 2016. Okay, a little backstory. I'm 22 and my girlfriend, we'll call her Jess, and I have been in a relationship for nearly 18 months. She's very attractive and in all honesty, I would say I'm a lost cause, but I am certainly punching a bit. Anyways, last week we were on an exhibition function for our shared university course. It was a fairly normal evening up until I saw her talking to this girl from the other side of the hall. Nothing unusual. I just didn't recognize her. However, when they turned around, I noticed the mystery girl had her hand seriously low on my girlfriend's back. I didn't think much of it at the time, but they were completely inseparable for the entire evening. The next week or so we were unusually distant from each other. I wanted to make sure nothing was wrong before I went away. I was going to Bristol for the weekend and I didn't want to leave things on bad terms before I left, but she was having none of it. Just being really blunt and such. So I left for my parents who were giving me a lift to Bristol, but when I got there, my mom said the old man was ill and we wouldn't be going, at least not today. So, already angry that she didn't tell me this over the phone, I drove back to ours in a foul mood and that's when I caught her. The front door was off the latch for some reason, so I didn't need my key. I came in the door normally, but kind of stopped when I heard what sounded like Jess giggling. We live on a ground floor flat, so there are no floorboards to creak. As I got closer, I could hear someone, clearly a female, sound quite breathy, like panting. At this point, I thought Jess might have been having some alone time or something, so I was about to make myself known until I looked down and I saw a pair of worn pink all-stars that I knew were not Jess's. At this point, confusion was starting to build and as I turned the corner, our bedroom door was wide open and there was the girl from the gallery in my bed and someone was beneath the covers. What the F is this? I believe was my first reaction. The gallery girl just stared at me, shocked, yet, as I called Jess, something strange happened. Absolutely nothing at all. She just stayed under the covers and didn't move. For what felt like the longest time, I just stood there, open-mouthed until I finally shook myself into action and started to leave. Like, no, no, I'm sorry. Don't let me interrupt. Please continue and finish. That would be so weird. Next thing I know, she comes flying out of the door into the hallway of the block, wearing just a pair of knickers and a vest, for God's sake, trying to somehow make this out to be my fault. I literally don't know what to say. She's freaking out and all I could come up with was, you're not wearing anything. Get back inside. We'll discuss this later. When I got back to the car, the belated rage began to set in. I was angry she cheated, angry she blames on me and angry I didn't say something else. Honestly, it's the most ridiculous, absurd scenario I've ever found myself in and perhaps that's why I wasn't so angry initially, but now I'm wondering what to do. I didn't even know she was into girls. She never mentioned anything like that and now she's cheated on me with one and we're renting a flat together. Is this her just experimenting? Can we recover? Has anyone been in this situation before? I am at my wit's end here, people. Edit. I've read nearly all of these comments now and honestly, you guys are pretty much spot on. I'm afraid. I can't go back to her and keep any shred of dignity, especially after I found a gallery girl on Facebook earlier and messaged her. She admitted that it's been going on for a while and is desperate for me not to tell anyone. As much as it might be a crappy move, I'm seriously considering outing them both. Knowing her friends, the last thing Jess would want is for them to think she's into girls. I know it's petty, but I'm just so mad right now. We have an update though. It came two days later. Had a lot of back and forth texts with the ex. She has stopped saying she's sorry. Instead, trying to say I didn't see what I thought it was, which is hilarious. Here's the kicker though. She told one of our mutual friends, a girl, that we split up because she had a guy around and I hit the roof and overreacted. Wasn't gonna divulge the full story to anyone, but after I heard she had said that, I told this mutual friend the whole story. A mutual friend didn't believe me, so I showed her the messages between me and the gallery girl. Now her friends at least know she's a cheat and a liar. Also, I told the landlord I'd like to take myself off the lease because this has happened and he is looking into it. Hopefully that can be resolved in the next week or so. I've also been getting spammed with texts from Jess today saying that I'm heartless and I've ruined her life. Oh, the irony. Oh god, it'd be 22 again. This feels like a very early 20s story. And maybe that's just because I in fact went through something similar in my early 20s. Not like that. Oh my god. Okay, that sounded wrong. I meant I was with someone who in fact cheated. That is all I meant to say. Oh man, now these rumors are gonna start. I don't even care. We're all friends here. Believe whatever you want. I'll see you guys in the comment section because I want to hear your thoughts on this. Stay classy out there. Stay sassy. I'll see you tomorrow.