The Smallest Car in the World _ Top Gear

And there's more, because as the country becomes more and more crowded and the environmentalists become more and more noisy, it makes more and more sense than ever to have a small car. There are lots to choose from. I've got a selection here, Volkswagen Polo, Suzuki Swift, quite nice, actually, and the Citroën C1. The trouble is, none of these cars are really small. They are, in fact, massive. Forty years ago, car makers could sell you something much smaller. The original Mini, for example, or the bubble car. But even these aren't small. Not really. Not compared to this. The Peel P50. That is 54 inches long and 41 inches wide. It is listed in the Guinness Book of Records as the smallest production car ever. And what I'm sure you're expecting me to do now is introduce Richard Hammond. But what I'm actually going to do is drive it to work. All six-foot-five of me. No, that's not going to work. I'll have to... Hang on. Leg at the S. Leg first and then... Yes! Built on the Isle of Man in the early 60s, the P50 was said to be almost cheaper than walking. It cost £198 and did 100 miles to the gallon. It sounds perfect, then, for the roads of today. Of course, there are one or two drawbacks. Can't imagine, for instance, that it's terribly safe, not when your knees are the crumple zones. And nor is it very fast. What I've got down here by my right knee in the cabin, making an awful lot of noise and generating quite a bit of heat, is the 49cc engine from a moped. Top speed rather depends on how big you are and actually how much you had for breakfast. Realistically, even the skinniest, shortest chap with the whitest of teeth will struggle to get past 35. There's something else I've just thought of as well. I have to pay congestion charge in this, in this part of London, but the camera crew in the Lexus 4x4 don't because it's a hybrid. How fair is that? It's not like I'm creating any pollution at all. The Peelvan is not only a handy way of getting to work, but it's also pretty practical when you get there. Normally, the BBC make you moor up in an underground car park where the bays are only big enough for ethnic peace bicycles and fair trade gee-whizzers. But because this is smaller than an ethnic peace bicycle, I don't have to worry about parking at all. The great thing about a car this small is that it's very light, which means that when you get to work, you just pick it up and carry it inside. Morning. In the Top Gear office, the team were keen to know more about the P50. I give you the future, young men and women. Peel P50. I think it's four and a half horsepower. You know those little tights cars that all kids have got? That's exactly the same, one door. I've never seen the Top Gear team so enthusiastic about any car. Lads, I put a Koenigsegg down in the car park. Got a new Ferrari down there. Not interested in this. Even John Humphreys dropped by for a look. Hammond, no... Well, can't you just clean them? Really, 4,000 to whiten them? 4,000 quid? You white... No, I'll stick with the yellow ones. Okay, take care. Bye. Who's got the car? Who's stolen the car? You've got the power under this bonnet, lads. When you've met your match, you know, mate. Please don't just steal our things. Do you mind? Thanks very much indeed. Jolly nice of you. Soon, I was summoned to an important BBC meeting. Most of the people going would be walking, but I was running late and decided to use the car. Fourth floor. Fiona Bruce is standing here, the newsreader. Ground floor. Sorry, Fiona, could you give me a push? A push out? Please, because it's got no reverse gear, so... Oh. Thank you. You'll be all right now? No, this is fine. Thanks. She has got quite a nice bottom. I said that out loud, didn't I? After a short drive, I arrived at BBC Television Centre. Unfortunately, though, this is the most complicated building in the world. I've worked at the BBC for 20 years and I still don't know where I'm going. Tomorrow's World was cancelled, not because the programme wasn't interesting anymore, it was simply because Judith Hahn was lost in here. Remember John Noakes, Peter Perch and Blue Peter? They're in here somewhere, lost. Hello, can anyone help? Thanks. Which department's this? Really lost now. ...talks with government ministers about how to handle the number of claims that have resulted from last month's floods. The total bill is estimated at about £1.5 billion. Mark Simpson... Sorry. Sorry, everyone. Sorry. Eventually, though, I made it to the top-level BBC seminar. I believe we've already made significant inroads into the implementation of an open and inclusive policy for the ethnocentrically homogenous objectives of this department. But I'd like to say that climate change is the biggest threat ever to face the peoples of this world, and minimising our carbon footprint through the functional usage is a key responsibility of anyone who uses a photocopier. I hope that in this session we can discuss and address... Sadly, the meeting went on for so long that there was no time left in the day for any programme-making. ...for the ethnocentrically... So I headed home. I really do think that today I have seen the future, and it comes from 1963. This PLP-50 really is absolutely brilliant. If it had a reverse gear, I would describe it as the absolute ultimate, really, of personal mobility. Can't... That's Dermot Moynihan. Oi! It is Moynihan! Moynihan! Oh, thanks. Thanks for that. Sorry.