Love Hurts Movie Review - It Certainly Does

Valentine's Day is just around the corner. You know what that means. Valentine's Day movies. But there are a couple in theaters right now which we would consider unconventional because they're not the romantic boy meets girl fall in love situation. No, no, no, no, no. One of them features a goonie kicking the living crap out of bad guys and that's the one I'm specifically going to be talking about today with Love Hurts. So join me for a spoiler free review. Love is in the air. For some of you. For others, it's a nice reminder to look the mirror and think to yourself, why does no one love me? Why does no one love me? Anyway, there's also movies in theaters revolving around the holiday. Before we dive into this box of chocolate hearts and see if there's any good ones inside, I would encourage you to subscribe to the channel because I am going to be covering heart eyes in the next video. The two Valentine's Day reviews coming right at you. You don't want to miss it. Maybe you do. I don't know. But let's talk about this film. Kee Hui Kwan plays Marvin. Marvin Gable to be specific. Gable is a great realtor and the reason he's so good is because he loves what he does. If you find something you're passionate about, hang on to it. And honestly, that story was enough. Like, oh, it's a love story, but it's because he loves what he does for a living, not so much he falls in love with a woman or whatnot. Unfortunately, that's not the story we have because an old flame is going to come back to his life in the form of some love letters mysteriously left around the office for him to find, leading to clues, leading to some pretty wild action. This secret admirer is Rose. I know her name is Rose because the script tells me every ******* line. Where's Rose? Is that from Rose? Rose. Rose. Every rose has its. It's Rose again. It's Rose, baby. You're the rose that I love. Keep Rose and Rose and Rose and Rose and what? I know you've been loving this rose right here. We really can't go an episode without a little Fred Durst. The only name that crops up just as much as Rose is Knuckles. And no, I'm not talking about the Red Serious Echidna. I'm talking about a bad guy. I'm talking about a guy that if you cross him, he's going to cross you out permanently. Going to kill you. He's going to kill you is what I'm getting at. So there's a bit of mystery in here. How does Marvin know Rose? How does Knuckles know Marvin? Why do they say Rose and Knuckles every two sentences? Knuckles and Rose, Rose and Knuckles. And why the hell is Marshawn Lynch in this film for so much screen time? Listen, Marshawn, I know you have an agent. I know you're trying to get into the Hollywood acting thing. You got personality. You got likability. But the acting, not so much. He's part of a comedic duo without the comedy. These two guys are going to be looking for Marvin along with another assassin who throws knives. That's his thing. And Knife Dude is cool. He opens up the vest. He's got a whole assortment of them, even some darts. He's chucking those things left and right. He's even got an amulet that he puts into his boot and locks up a big ass blade that he can fight with. Unfortunately for this gentleman who goes by the name of The Raven, Marvin knows how to kick all sorts of ass and he's going to be doing it throughout this movie. Think Nobody, who I believe the producer also worked on. Think John Wick, but without the style, without that class. And of course, without Keanu Reeves. But what this movie lacks in a weak script, some pretty poor dialogue and some very unfunny moments, it makes up for with some kick ass combat. There's a bunch of fighting in this movie, typically one-on-one on a cage, short for occasion. You do get a little group of people that Marvin's going to be fighting. There is some fun to be had in these moments. I believe the director comes from a stunt background. And so you can tell that this is where the priority of the flick was. Everything around the action is very much just kind of, eh, we'll put something in here that's kind of resembling a story. It definitely has a bit of the old Jackie Chan vibe where you're not really watching this film for anything more than the stunt work and some of that amazing hand-to-hand combat. So if you go into this flick with that in mind, I think you'll have a good time. As for me, I think it's a bad movie overall, but it is a watchable movie. At 90 minutes, you can definitely do worse. But I think that this thing is lacking a lot. I think there could have been a great movie here, but oh my God, Rose, my Rose is so bad in this. Ariana DuBose is just not working for me here. And this relationship that she's supposed to have with is awful. They have no chemistry. They have this pretty big age gap too. So they just look uncomfortable together. And she's just a lot. Every scene she's in, she's mugging for the camera, she's smirking, she's doing the girl boss thing. I'm not feeling it. This director also has some sort of a bizarre fetish with guys drinking stuff. The bad guy of the movie, he loves his boba tea and he's constantly having cups of boba. He's drinking out of the straw. They're showing close ups of it. He's using the straw as a weapon. The henchmen have a little lover's quarrel where they fight over drinking from a can of soda. What is this? What are we doing here? This to me feels like a straight to streamer movie that somehow got a theatrical release. Although I've been feeling that for a lot of movies lately. Specifically here, this is an easy one to throw on in the background. And anytime you hear a little bit of action, ratchet up, you know, that's your cue to pay attention to the TV. Now as for Kihoo Kwon, he is living his best life these days. Coming back strong in everything, everywhere, all at once. Now he's finally getting his kind of second coming. You know, we remember him from Short Round. Remember him from The Goonies. He's, he just had a long lull of nothing. And I'm very happy to see him working again because he has it folks. The charisma, the charm, it's there. And he's fantastic in this movie. He's incredibly likable. I just don't really like anyone else. But again, I've seen much, much worse. This is just definitely not one I would recommend you rush out to the theaters, drop down $15 for the 90 minutes, which I did. You wait till this craps out on Netflix in inevitably a week or two. If you have a movie pass where you pay the 25 bucks a month and you get unlimited movies or whatever. Sure, it's fine for that I suppose. But again, nothing special. Couple cool action scenes, everything we've kind of seen before. Stunt work is definitely the highlight. And man, they're throwing people like crazy. This poor bastard's getting chucked off of tables. He's going through windows. He's ripping knives out of his hand. He's going through the ringer for sure. But it's really not enough when it's wrapped around a really stupid premise. Well there you have it. My thoughts on Love Hurts. Let me know if you saw this in the comments below what you thought of this film. If you're in line with where I'm at or if maybe you enjoyed it a little bit more than I did. Please let me know. Again, think of subscribing to the channel. I got another Valentine's film review right around the corner. Love to have you stick around. Like this video so it goes up in the engagement and the algorithm or whatever crap happens over at YouTube these days. And hit that notification bell. Last thing, I'm on Cameo baby. If you want to get a shout out for you or a love one just in time for V-Day, short for Valentine's Day, hit me up on Cameo. It's pretty cheap. It's like it's like 15 bucks. It's a cup of coffee at this point. You just give me a message on there. 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