My Girl Didn't Care About Me - Comedian Anderi Bailey -Chocolate Sundaes Stand Up Comedy

Thought I had a woman that loved me. Cause that's what she said. You hear them motherfuckers always say they love you. This woman love you, sir? That nigga said, I hope. You know what I'm saying? This is what I'm saying. **** love. Do you care? Motherfuckers be so geeked up about love. Nigga, **** love. Do you care, bitch? My foot swollen. And you still want to go to the club, bitch? And we'll let you go. You dragging your foot in the club and ----. This bitch like, this is my man. He's like, bitch, my foot hurts. What the ****? You meeting motherfuckers? I'm getting ready. You don't care about me, bitch. I ain't ate no corn. The whole time you met me, bitch. Ain't bit of apple nothing. Ask about my teeth, bitch. You don't care about me. When's the last time somebody asked you about your dental? It's a woman that care. She see your teeth jiggling when you bite a sandwich. You in Subway with soft bread, jiggling like a mother. Hey, hey, don't look at him. ****, bitch. Who looking at me? You making noise, nigga. Get my life together. Find me a woman that care. Had to get rid of that woman, god damn it. So much you love me. She was a dog lover, too. Any dog lovers in here? I'm a dog lover, too. Shit, the ones that's outside. Letting you know who the **** buy the house. Har, har, har, har. You come to the window, who the ****? Good job, nigga. Who the ****? Don't need no ring alarm when you got roofless, nigga. Har, har, har, har. Sometimes you run out there, you're like, that's a ************ right there. Shut your ass up, nigga. God damn it, shut your ass up. Roofless, nigga. Nigga be outside. You try to open the door, that nigga, ah. That's the kind of dog I want. This nigga don't want to come inside. Wait a minute. Is that air conditioning? You're not supposed to be around air conditioning. I don't pay rent. That nigga in there looking like a pitcher. Har, har, har. Motherfucking dog ran away. Her dog ran away. I was sad with her. But then when she put a $200 reward for the nigga. $200. I couldn't even say it all the way. I was like, $200? For a dog? Nigga, all I'm saying is if your dog run away, he don't **** with you no more. You house this nigga, feed this nigga. If he run away, he don't **** with you. Bitch, I'm leaving this house. I know where the hole's at. I'm grounded now. I want to make my own family. Bitch got a reward out, $200 out. Signs out. I know the dog was up. This bitch, don't take this. Nosy ass bitch. The thing that made me mad, this is when I realized she don't **** with me. She don't care. She probably loves. She don't care. Every real nigga that got a woman, you know what I'm saying? Every now and again, we need $40. I just took you out and bought roses and ----. Bitch, I didn't even realize I was down $40. I need gas and ----. You wanted three roses, I didn't. Rose man came on in my face. He's like, I'll take the roses, bitch. Now I need $220. She don't know. I had to call her. I was like, you know, you just can't call that ass for $220. You got to set it up. I called her. I was like, you wouldn't believe what happened. That way they asked and followed. What happened? Bitch, you asked for all them roses and ---- and bitch, I need $40. I ain't got no gas money. Bitch, I'm still stuck at the spot, bitch. The car is right here. Motherfucker gonna tell me she don't got $40. I was so mad at that bitch. I was like, bitch, you could just change the sign. Put 160 on that ************. They'll still bring the dog back, bitch. Dirty ************. He don't **** with me for real.