Social Skills SECRETS That Make You ATTRACTIVE

Hi, today I'm going to talk about 10 social skills that make people chase you. Most of us think that attractiveness comes from the way we look or the kind of purse that we carry or maybe our status, okay, the kind of people we move in. It's a very conventional idea of attractiveness. According to me and the new definition of attractiveness is the way you behave or the way you talk or the best of all the way you make people feel around you, okay, that is most important. This is what we are going to focus on when we talk about these 10 social skills today in this video. I actually have worked my heart off. Now I know what you're, no, no, no, not going to use any bad word. We're going to use the good words. So I've worked my heart off to make these 10 points come true. They're really good. I have some best examples for you to explain you each and every point. I have some situations and scenarios to make everything extremely clear to you. Okay. So let's start by talking about social gravity. What is social gravity? Hold on before you imagine, let me just give you a little not vague idea. Good idea. Social gravity is the natural pull that certain people have, you know, it's not magic. It's a set of learnable skills. And today we're going to break down 10 of the most powerful ones. So you have those people, I'm sure everybody can think of at least one person who they find extremely attractive, or they just can't move their eyes off. Once they walk into the room, they're like, Oh my god, I want to be like him. I want to be like her. Oh my god, the charisma this person carries or the way they carry themselves. It's amazing. Like if I have to give you some Bollywood examples, which at large will be relatable to everybody here watching this video, probably Priyanka Chopra. Okay, I think she's really charismatic. Her social skills are really good. I haven't met her in person. But that's what I feel. Apart from that, maybe Amitabh Bachchan. These days, I feel the definition of cool is really weird for some people. And I want to challenge that cool is not rude. Cool is not being unkind. Cool is not you being weird in your own way. Or I know there are these different definitions that are floating around in the market that this is cool. And that is cool. I don't care. And I'm very cool. No, really. No, cool is not not to care. Cool is actually to be extremely humble, to be careful of other people's emotions to be a good person. Anyway, coming back, these 10 points are psychology backed. They are super easy to practice. And they're super effective, needless to say, of course, I want to share a little tidbit from my own life. I'm going to talk about myself right now. And I do not come across as that person when I make a video because I speak a lot when I'm in front of the camera and I can speak very casually and easily because it's a skill and I've developed it. And also communication skills have been a talent of mine and I've embraced it. I've worked on it, polished it. But apart from that, if you talk about me in my personal life, this is not how I was in the past. I would not mingle with people. I would not make friends easily. I still do not have many friends. I barely have people whom I talk with. There are barely one or two people whom I hang out with. And I do not have anyone whom I speak with on the phone. It's like that it has always been that way for me. But social skills has been a subject that has attracted me as a little child. And I wanted to work on those things. And these are 10 such things that have accumulated in the list to present in front of you and then you be the judge and you decide if these work for you or they don't because personally I feel that they truly work for me. So here was the tone of the video set. Now I can proceed with my video, the rest of it. Now these 10 points are your answer to this particular scenario where you might have walked into a room or into a party and saw somebody vibing very well and effortlessly with the group. And imagining to yourself, how can they vibe so effortlessly with people they hardly know? And how can they be so friendly with people they do not know? How can they be so comfortable? Why do I not have that strength? So these 10 points are going to solve that for you. Okay, let's start with the first one on the list which is you make this mistake. You are a culprit of doing this. Let me tell you. Mastering the thank you period. This is about how you receive a compliment. Studies indicate that as many as 70% of people have a negative or deflective reaction to receiving a compliment. Imagine somebody praises my watch and this old watch. You diminish your item. You diminish the compliment. If they tell you that hey I love your gesture, thank you so much for coming. Oh it was nothing. No, don't do that. Incredibly attractive people simply accept the compliment with a warm and genuine thank you and full stop. That's all they do. They don't explain. They don't feel that need to expand on it. Imagine a colleague comes up to you and says that was a brilliant idea you had in the meeting. If you reply, oh it was nothing really. You've not only devalued their contribution but you've also subtly rejected their positive gesture. Now that creates an awkward silence. Don't do that. They will never give you a compliment again if you do that. Don't do that. Now imagine the same scenario a little differently. You simply make eye contact, smile and say thank you. I really appreciate that. Now this way you appear confident. You've made the other person feel good and you've strengthened a professional connection. That tiny difference is everything in that scenario. You get it? So instead of saying that was nothing, just simply say oh thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that you noticed. Do not deflect it. Now why is this unique? See what happens is that deflecting a compliment is a sign of discomfort with receiving praise and people can sense it. Accepting it gracefully signals self-worth that you appreciate, you know that it exists in you, you know that this is your quality and you understand your self-worth. It also honours the person giving the compliment by not rejecting their gift of kindness. Every compliment is a gift of kindness. Musician and author Amanda Palmer in her book The Art of Asking frames accepting a compliment not as arrogance but as a simple powerful act of receiving a gift without pushing it away. So imagine them saying oh your presentation was brilliant and you smiling. Thank you. I'm really glad you enjoyed it and that's it. No deflection. Let's come to unique skill number two. Granting people the grace of a good story. I love this point. What does this mean? Best-selling author and researcher Brene Brown teaches that our brains are wired to create stories to make sense of the world. When we only have a little bit of information like a short email or somebody passes some piece of information to us oh they are not coming or they are not coming to your party oh oh she said sorry what we do is we tend to fill up the rest. Our brains are wired to do that. This is where you can stand out from the crowd. The skill is to consciously choose to fill in with a story of grace okay rather than a story of suspicion. You don't have to doubt the other person or their intent you have to give them the benefit of doubt. I know it takes time to practice. I know it is hard. I know you're not good at it right now. None of us are. We are always so cautious. We don't want to get hurt. Already tell ourselves a bad story about other people because we don't want to be hurt in the future. So we want to restrict others and keep them out of our comfort zone, out of a circle where they have a chance to come closer and to hurt us. So we make them appear bad in our own minds. We have to stop that. Give them a story of grace. Believe in their good intention. So how do you do this? Imagine when somebody is late you assume they had a crisis. Not that they are disrespectful. When somebody sends a blunt email you assume oh they must be busy. Not that they are angry all right. Just imagine this scenario. You've spent all week on a detailed project report and you're really proud of it and you email it to your manager for her feedback. An hour later a reply comes with maybe just five words saying need to review this later. Your stomach sinks. You immediately think she hates it. The single line means she thinks it's not even a priority. Now your confidence for the rest of the day is shattered and you overthink every detail. That's what is happening in your brain. Imagine you instead grant her the grace of a good story like I just told you. You see the same five words and think wow she must be drowning in deadlines. It was good of her to reply so quickly just to let me know she received it. See how hard is it. I know it can get better with practice. Of course it takes practice because we are not wired to be positive thinkers or optimistic all the time. Of course we understand we do have our constraints but this is something that you can improve on and it is going to give you so much peace of mind. Your days will not be spoiled guessing and judging other people's actions which they actually might have just innocently done. I mean sometimes people really are busy. Sometimes people really are not in a good shape and they still want to protect your feelings and they just simply write an okay to a long message and then you're like how rude of her. Like she could have written something more just an okay to such a long lengthy message. Come on give her a story. Give him or her a story of grace. It is not going to just help her or him. It's going to help you. You just protected your own confidence and avoided creating a negative story out of nothing. This is emotional freedom. Believe me. Why is this unique? It's an internal skill that has a massive external effect. It stops you from becoming reactive, defensive, accusatory. It makes you a calm non-judgmental presence that people love to hang around with and they feel safe with. You give them the benefit of the doubt. That's it. It's that simple. Unique skill number three. Making people the hero of their own decision. Now this is genuinely a unique skill I feel is missing in mostly 99% people. Okay I'll tell you. Let me just give you some example. When somebody comes up to you for advice, what do you do? You know what you do, right? Instead of telling them what to do, you ask questions that help them find their own answers. That's how you're making them a hero of their own decision. You empower them. This shows immense respect for their intelligence and autonomy. In his best-selling book, The Coaching Habit, leadership expert Michael Bungay Stanier says, stay curious a little longer, rush to action and advice giving a little slower. Imagine a friend confides in you. I want to leave my stable IT job to start my own online business but I'm terrified. Everyone thinks it's a foolish risk. Now what will an average person do? An average person immediately lists the problem. Do you have enough savings? What about the competition? It's so difficult. You've just amplified their fears. This is what you've done. You've just amplified their fears. Now imagine you lean in and ask, okay let's forget the risk for one second. What's the one thing about having your own business that makes you feel truly alive? Suddenly their mind shifts from the fear of failure to the feeling of purpose. You didn't give them a business plan of course. You just gave them back their own dream and made them the hero of it. After all, it's about their dream. After all, it's about something that is bothering them. Why do you have to satisfy the need of becoming the better person or the bigger person here? Let's just control that need. That's a connection no one ever will forget. This taps into a powerful psychological principle known as the IKEA effect. Research from Harvard Business School discovered that people place a significantly higher value on things they build themselves. In one of the experiments, participants were willing to pay 63% more for furniture they had assembled themselves compared to identical pre-assembled furniture. The same is true for solutions to our problems. When you give someone direct advice, you're handing them a pre-assembled flat pack solution. Furniture that was already assembled and made by somebody else. That's what you're doing. But when you ask questions and help them build the solution themselves, they will value it more and be more committed to it. Unique skill number four, being a safe harbor for people's ambitions. Again, a lovely skill to hone. This is the rare ability to listen to somebody's biggest craziest dreams and ambitions without injecting doubt or skepticism or unsolicited practical advice. Let's not do that. When someone shares a fragile new idea, starting a business or maybe writing a book or changing careers, most people respond with, but what about? Or that's really hard. A socially attractive person does the opposite. They become a safe harbor. They protect that fragile idea. You have to be that person. It fights a universal fear. Everyone is afraid their big ideas will be laughed at. You know that. I'm sure you have one such big idea that you want to accomplish one day. Being that one person who doesn't laugh or judge or doubt them creates an incredibly powerful and lasting bond. To be a safe harbor, you have to suppress your own ego's need to be the smart one or the practical one. Hey, I told you, see, I told you, you don't have to be that person. You're there to support their dream, not to impose your reality on it. This selflessness is deeply attractive. Just try doing it for somebody someday and you will understand what I'm saying right now. This isn't just about passive listening. It's about actively creating a space of pure possibility for somebody. Imagine your younger cousin walks in and that person, that cousin of yours is studying to be an engineer and excitedly pulls you aside and says, hey, I'm going to drop out and start my own YouTube channel about street food. The immediate practical reaction is to list the risk. Are you sure? What about your degree? The competition is huge these days. What you've done is you've just become another voice of doubt and poured water on their fragile spark of passion. We don't want to do that to others. Now, imagine you pause, smile and ask, that sounds amazing. What's the first food stall you would absolutely have to film? In that moment, you didn't just listen to an idea. You became the one safe place on earth for their dream to exist. And that makes you the most trusted and magnetic person in the world. This skill is the foundation of a concept that Google discovered was the single most important factor in their most successful teams. Psychological safety is the name. In a massive multi-year study called Project Aristotle, Google analyzed 180 of its teams to figure out why some thrived while others failed. They looked at everything, skills, personalities, backgrounds. The number one predictor of success wasn't who was on the team, but the presence of psychological safety. Psychological safety is the belief that it's safe to take a risk, like sharing a new crazy idea without being embarrassed or punished for it. When you become a safe harbor for somebody's ambition, you're creating a powerful one-on-one zone of psychological safety. You're single handedly providing the number one condition that allows people and ideas to thrive, to flourish. Moving on to skill number five, embracing your idiosyncrasies. What is an idiosyncrasy? I'll explain it in layman terms. Idiosyncrasy is something that makes you unique. Like somebody speaks with a little twist in their lips. They twist their lips in a way that is different from others. That is their idiosyncrasy. Somebody maybe has a habit of doing this while they are thinking. This is their idiosyncrasy. So something that makes you unique in your own way, that is your idiosyncrasies. I'm telling you something about a very personal experience that I have a lot when I'm recording these videos. When I write these scripts, just believe me, I go crazy. I go mad at times. There's so much hard work that goes into writing every single script. And every single time, I'm like, no, no, this is not good enough. A lot of these times, these videos are so loved by people. I'll give you a very good example. I don't know if you've watched the show Friends, which is really popular, one of the most popular soap operas of the world. So Friends, this character Phoebe, if you see her actual real life interviews, you'll know that this woman for years did not watch her own show. Why? Because she was so scared that she wouldn't look good to herself. And we love her on the show. She's my most favorite character after Chandler. I love her. She's crazy. She's mad. She brings about these amazing idiosyncrasies to the show that are unbelievable. They're so real and so realistic. And imagine she fearing about it and not watching the show because of it. That's how we perceive ourselves. We look at our flaws way too much. We pay too much attention to ourselves. Nobody else does. It's actually a term, spotlight effect. In our minds, we tend to pay too much importance to ourselves. Okay, we think everybody's thinking about us. They are talking about us. But in reality, nobody really cares that much. People are worried about themselves in their own heads. Okay, they genuinely are not thinking about you. The way you're thinking about, oh, my God, how am I dressed up? What are they going to talk about me? They're thinking exactly the same thing. Oh, my God, what am I wearing? How is she going to see me? What am I looking like? That is what it is. You know, you've got to embrace your idiosyncrasies. And that really makes you really attractive. And it really makes you a lot attractive when you embrace your little craziness, those things that make you weird. Like if I have to tell you a bit about my own idiosyncrasy, I am the crazy one in the family. My cousins, my sisters, everyone thinks that she's the weird one. She will just speak anything. She will not think before speaking. I don't know. I'm blamed for being impulsive with my talk. I don't know. I don't know why. They make fun of me. And this has been something that has been going on for God knows decades now. I've accepted it. I know that they love me for it. They don't want me to be the sane one. They want me to be the insane one. They like me that way. People love you for your idiosyncrasies. You're judging yourself harshly. So there's this social psychologist, Elliot Aronson. He discovered something fascinating in a study that now is come to be called as the pratfall effect. He had people rate the likability of a student who was presented as nearly perfect, answering 92% of the quiz questions correctly. Then he had another group listen to the same brilliant student. But this time, after the quiz was over, the student commits a clumsy mistake, a pratfall as you call it, by audibly spilling coffee on himself. So when he was walking out of the interview, he spilled coffee on himself. The first group was not shown that. The second group was. They were shown this small pratfall. The result was surprising. The brilliant student who made the mistake was rated as significantly more likeable. People liked him more than the one who was simply perfect. We don't like perfect. We like being imperfect. Now these days, I don't know, there's something going on on the internet. Everybody's getting on these injections in their lips and on their cheeks and forehead and everywhere, God knows where all, just to look perfect. But I don't know. I mean, I can openly talk about it. I don't like it. I liked it when people looked different from each other and had their own way of appearance. Nowadays, they all look the same. And I don't like it. I know I'm not that important to anyone, but I'm just telling you my personal opinion. Don't judge me. This is how it is. I don't like it. I hate it. Okay, unique skill number six, we're coming to owning your value without flaunting your victories. Hard one, but you can do it. This is the art of being deeply aware of your accomplishments, your knowledge and your positive qualities, but having zero need to announce them. You let your value be discovered through your actions and the quality of your presence rather than forcing it into the conversation unnecessarily bringing about topics that would praise you, you know, can command, you can command the topics bringing in those topics unnecessarily. People know it, they can recognize it. You don't appear attractive at all. You appear like a freak at that moment. Don't do that. It is the absolute peak of quiet confidence, okay, where you are aware of your accomplishments, but you don't talk about them. You let others talk about them. Okay, the celebrated author C.S. Lewis perfectly captured the essence of quiet confidence. He says humility is not thinking less of yourself. It's thinking of yourself less. A person who brags or constantly talks about their successes leaves no mystery. There's nothing to guess about them anymore. And sort of we are really tired of listening to them talking about themselves. And I can think of a couple of people who do that a lot. It's really annoying. I think I repel them. I cannot be around them. I don't know about you, but I'm sure you will agree that this is a very repelling behavior. People would repel others if they constantly brag about themselves. A person who's clearly knowledgeable or accomplished but doesn't feel the need to broadcast it makes others curious. It's simple. People want to know your story, okay? Bragging is a cry for external validation. And it's quite visible, honestly. When you aren't trying to prove you're the smartest or the most successful person in the room, it removes any sense of competition. It makes everybody at ease. People feel safe to share their own stories without the fear of being one-upped. I'm telling you, I got this. And you're telling me, oh, you got this. Oh, I got this also. I have this fear that the moment I say something, you're going to do a one-up on me. It's a disgusting feeling. Nobody wants to go through that. Imagine you're in a group of friends and one person is proudly talking about how they've just been promoted to a team lead. Now they are happy and looking for validation, okay? Of course, I mean, they're telling you about their accomplishment because sort of they expect you to say a simple congratulations to them, right? A person who's one-upper in the group immediately jumps in and says, that's great. I was actually just promoted to senior manager last month. The responsibility is insane. Now the air goes out of the room. Now imagine you've also recently promoted to a similar or even higher position. You hear your friend's news, but instead of mentioning your own success, you smile and you just simply say, that is a fantastic news. You're going to be such a great leader. What are you most excited to start working on with your team? See, you didn't need to use their moment to validate your own. This is like stealing their thunder. You don't want to steal their thunder. Your success is your own and your quiet confidence just made you the most powerful and respected person in that conversation. Now, let's talk about unique skill number seven. Be a plus, not a minus. People are fundamentally drawn to those who add value to an interaction and they're repelled by those who drain it, okay? It's a very subconscious thing that happens. This isn't about fake happiness. It's about being the person who doesn't complain or gossip too much or dwell on the negative, okay? You're a source of good energy that really makes you socially attractive. The legendary poet and activist Maya Angelou says, I've learned that people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. This isn't just a feeling. It's a documented psychological phenomenon called emotional contagion. It's the scientific proof that emotions are literally contagious. They're like a virus. In a massive study of social networks involving over a billion posts, now this is really interesting, okay? Pay attention. Researchers from the University of California and Facebook wanted to see just how contagious emotions were, even through a screen, okay? When you're looking at a phone and you're typing something. They found that a single person's positive post could cause a ripple effect, generating roughly two additional positive posts from their friends. Conversely, on the other hand, a negative post could generate 1.5 additional negative posts. So basically, whatever you want to grow, you sow that. If you want your group to feel positive, you talk positive. If you want the negative energy to go around, it comes back the same way, okay? Imagine you're at a team lunch on a Friday. One person spends the entire time complaining about a difficult client, the terrible traffic that they sat in, and how the restaurant service is slow. You can feel the mood at the table getting heavier. That person is a minus. They're draining the energy from the room. That's what they are doing. Now imagine another person at the same table. Instead of complaining, ask everyone, what's one good thing, big or small, that happened to you this week? Suddenly, the entire dynamic shifts. People start sharing small wins, the mood lifts, and the conversation becomes energized and positive. That person didn't just add to the conversation, they multiplied the positive energy. They were a plus. And everyone will remember how good they felt in their presence. So avoid chronic complaining, avoid gossiping, it's not a good habit. Sometimes, okay, everybody indulges in them in their clothes one. Still, it's good to be a little watchful of your own activities, right? Then introducing people to each other, that's also a good habit, helping them make connections. All right, that's also you being a positive, you being a plus. Unique skill number eight is making others feel seen. What do I mean by this? Truly attractive people shift the spotlight from themselves onto others. They make the person they are talking to feel like the most important person in the room, asking thoughtful, open-ended follow-up questions. That is the way to do it. In his classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie laid out a timeless truth. You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. What a great thought, reflect on it. Imagine you're at a and someone asks you what you do. You tell them about your job and then they immediately say, oh, that's interesting. And then they spend the next 10 minutes talking about their own career. You walk away feeling more like an audience member than a participant in that conversation. Has this happened with you ever? I think I can remember a few instances. It happens. People don't realize what a grave mistake it is and it should not be made. Now imagine you tell the next person about your job and they lean in and ask, that sounds challenging. What's the one part of your work that you're most passionate about right now? For the next five minutes, they listen intently and ask thoughtful follow-up questions. You walk away from that conversation feeling 10 feet tall. You weren't just heard, you were truly seen. And that feeling is one of the most attractive gifts one person can give another. Neuroscientists at Harvard University wanted to understand why people love talking about themselves so much. In a series of studies, they used fMRI scanners to monitor people's brain activity. They discovered that talking about ourselves activates the mesolimbic dopamine system, the exact same part of the brain that lights up for the rewards of food, money, and romantic love. In fact, participants in the study were even willing to give up money just for the chance to talk about themselves more. The average person is literally addicted to the pleasure of talking about themselves. I think I like talking about myself. I'm sure you too would, right? When you master the skill of letting others talk about themselves by asking them thoughtful questions and truly listening to their replies, you're giving them a neurochemical reward. You're making them feel the same pleasure they get from their favorite things like good food or good music, okay? So that is why it is important to listen to people and make them feel seen. The art of remembering small details like imagine you meet somebody for the second time and the first time you had met them they had told you about their dog and their dog's name and the second time you meet them and you ask, hey, how's Chintu? You remember the dog's name, Chintu. Can you imagine the impact this person will feel in that little two second of conversation? I mean, wow, she remembers the name of my dog and they will never be able to forget you after that. This is what social attractiveness is where people carry a very positive aura of you even when you're not present. Talking about unique skill number nine which is protecting peace by maintaining strong boundaries. Now, this is slightly different from the rest of the points but this may seem counterintuitive, okay? But a person with clear respectful boundaries is incredibly attractive. It signals self-respect that you're not going to say yes to everything. It's important for others to know that. It is important for you to let others know that you're not going to say yes to everything which is the foundation of respecting yourself and in return respecting others also because they know what to expect from you. The negative impact of weak boundaries is a well-documented medical fact. Researchers from the University of California, Berkeley studied a personality trait they call unmitigated communion which is the scientific term for being a people pleaser who consistently prioritizes others needs above their own. The results were alarming. They found that individuals with the trait didn't just report higher levels of emotional distress and anxiety, their body showed it too. They had consistently higher levels of Imagine this example, okay? It's 5 p.m on a Friday and a colleague rushes over. They ask you to help them finish their project. Now, you had your own plans, okay? But the fear of not being a team player makes you say, sure, okay, I'll sit with you and now you stay late feeling resentful and taken for granted. You've taught them that your time isn't valuable. Now, imagine the same situation. You smile politely and you say, I understand you're in a tight spot but you know what? I can't stay tonight as I have a prior commitment. I'd be happy to take a look with you the first thing on Monday morning if that helps. Now, what have you done? You didn't create a fight. You commanded respect. You have to realize that in that moment you communicated that you value yourself and that makes others value you too. That quiet self-respect is infinitely more attractive than being a people pleaser. And now we come to the unique skill number 10, which is the last one on the list. Celebrating other people's wins. Genuinely, this goes far beyond just giving a compliment, right? Most people can offer a polite congratulations, which is normal. Truly attractive person is going to do it differently. Truly attractive person would radiate genuine joy for somebody else's success. It shows a complete lack of insecurity and jealousy, which is incredibly rare and I think you'll agree, okay? It's magnetic. A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. Imagine a friend from your professional circle excitedly tells you they landed a huge client that you were also hoping to get. The standard polite response is a tight-lipped oh wow, congratulations. That's great for you. You've said the right words. But the envy is quite visible from your demeanor. Imagine you do it a little differently. Your face lights up as you genuinely exclaim that this is amazing news. Absolutely fantastic. I'm so incredibly happy for you. You're going to do amazing work with them. Honestly, this is huge. In that moment, what you've done is you've crushed any hint of rivalry and replaced it with pure support. You have communicated that your confidence is so strong, their success doesn't threaten you. It genuinely thrills you, if anything. That generosity of spirit is rare and powerfully attractive. Why is this unique? It's unique because the default human reaction can often be comparison or a little bit of jealousy, envy. Actively celebrating another person's win signals immense confidence and a generous spirit. And who wouldn't like a person like that? So, instead of just saying, oh, congrats on that promotion, how about you add a few more words? That is incredible news. I'm so thrilled for you. You worked so hard for this and no one deserves it more. We need to celebrate this properly. Now, you get it? Actually, we have another bonus one for you. This is unique skill number 11. Disagree without being disagreeable. Now, this is that skill where you validate somebody else's point before you present your own. If I were to give you a simple example in a sentence, it would look like something like this. That's a really interesting way to look at it. The way I see it is dot, dot, dot. I'll tell you more. Imagine you're in a team meeting and a colleague proposes a marketing strategy that you believe is outdated and will not work. Now, the impulsive reaction is to say that's an old fashioned approach. We need something more modern. Now, you might be correct, but you've also just publicly dismissed your colleague's contribution and made them defensive. They're going to compare. They're going to look out for that one mistake that you make in the future. Now, imagine you instead of responding in that way, you respond this way. I appreciate you starting us off with that idea. The core principle of reaching out to our loyal customers is definitely something we need to do. Building on that, what if we used a more modern tool like a targeted social media campaign to achieve that same goal? What do you say? So you haven't made them wrong. You've made their idea the foundation for a better one. OK, so you've used their idea in a constructive way and you built on it and you added your point. You shifted the energy from a confrontation to a collaboration. That's what you've done. That ability to build bridges instead of walls is what makes people want to work with you. They want to follow you and they want to listen to you if you have that capability. In a very famous study, researchers showed people information that was factually wrong but confirmed something they already believed. There was a group of people who believed a certain way things happen and they were shown data according to their belief system. Then the researchers presented them with the real hard facts that proved the original information was false, that whatever they believed was not accurate. Now, a strange thing happened. Instead of changing their minds, many people actually became more convinced that the original wrong belief was right. The facts literally backfired. That's why it came to be known as the backfire effect. You want to read about it? Go ahead. The backfire effect. When you directly attack someone's idea with facts, their brain can perceive it as a personal attack and they're not going to be kind to you after that. This triggers a defensive reflex that makes them dig in their heels and hold on to their belief even tighter. By validating their point first, you bypass this defense system and this makes them open to hearing what you have to say next. You get it now? So this was it. I do have a couple of other things to add here just before I close this video. It's okay to share your imperfections with the world. You should be willing to tell a light, self-deprecating story or where you admit that you did not know something or you were wrong about something. People really appreciate other people's openness in these matters, their honesty, where they tell about their own flaws. It makes you more human. It makes you more approachable and not arrogant. Also, another thing that is important is to make a clean exit. You should know how to gracefully and confidently end a conversation without being awkward. It leaves a really positive impression. So this was it. Thank you very much. Which of these really hit you hard? Tell me that one point that really made a lasting impression on your mind. I want to hear about it. If you appreciated my work, please give it a like and share this video with at least two people you care about. I'll see you in the next one and subscribe to the channel if you want to keep getting these videos. Thank you. See you soon. Bye bye.