Stop Planting These 5 Aưful Vegetables Immediately!.

What's growing on, gardeners? On today's video, I'm going to share with you all five awful vegetables you should never plant in your garden again. These awful vegetables sit upon a throne of lies, and it's about time we never give them another minute of ours. Vegetable number one is the biggest fraud of all, romaine lettuce. I'm not stupid. I've been to grocery stores thousands of times. I know what romaine lettuce looks like, and it's supposed to look like a dead iguana sitting on the side of the road. It's supposed to be light green, full of these pink stripes. It's supposed to be all shriveled up like it's been sitting there neglected for a week. Well, guess what? I planted romaine lettuce, and that's not what I got in my garden. Instead, I got these big heads of alien cabbage. I've never seen anything that looks like that in a grocery store. And you know what? I've been eating it over the past few weeks, and it doesn't taste like the stuff I got from the grocery store either. Lettuce is supposed to taste like crunchy water. This stuff tastes like green. Also, lettuce is supposed to cost three to four dollars a bag. That's what I spent on this entire packet of seed. And if I pour it out, and keep in mind I already planted two beds worth, I still have hundreds of seeds left over. I mean, in theory, I guess I could have planted hundreds of heads of romaine for the cost of a single bag. I don't like low prices. I like high prices, because that means what I'm getting is good. And those high prices are justified because lettuce is hard to grow. It's sensitive to the cold, and it's sensitive to the heat. Well, at least, you know, if you leave it up to nature. It's not like as a human being you can modify your climate. I mean, I did something crazy. I ran some agricultural fabric overhead, and we had two 25 degree nights, and that frost protection completely insulated the romaine, and they are fine. And you know what? I did the same thing the last few summers with shade cloth overhead, and they didn't bolt or get bitter. So now I have all of this suspect lettuce sitting here, mocking me, ready for harvest. So I guess I'm going to cut this one right here. There's a head of lettuce right there, at least that's what I think this is. So now I have one of these strange mutant things that claims to be romaine lettuce, but I've certainly never gotten anything like this from a grocery store. Maybe I've seen something like this at one of those sketchy roadside farmer's markets, but never from a grocery store. What about you? Should I trust this? Have you ever seen something like this out of a store? I certainly haven't. Oh, and by the way, if for some weird reason you're interested in any of the seeds for the varieties I'm featuring in this video, I'll place links to them down in the video description, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you want a source of easy to grow, affordable, high quality food, which doesn't seem to be compatible with today's society. Vegetable number two is a total scam, and that is carrots. Garden grown carrots fail. At the number one thing grocery store carrots are known for, giving us diarrhea. And if there is one thing I know about people, it's that we love getting diarrhea. I mean, before we know it, it'll be summer, beach season, and there is no better way known to man to lose weight fast. And next to licking your shoe after walking through an airport bathroom, eating grocery store carrots is the fastest way to diarrhea-ville. Garden grown carrots also have something weird that grocery store carrots don't have. Flavor. When I go to a grocery store, I know I will get consistently a carrot that tastes like crunchy water. But when I eat them out of my garden, they're totally different because carrots have this strange property where the sugar content is inversely proportional to temperature. That means if you grow your carrots in the fall, winter, and early spring, and they mature when it's still cold, they have a high sugar content unlike when you grow them in the summer or when you get them from a grocery store where they have a high starch, low sugar content. It is frankly offensive that I can just walk out into my backyard and feel around at the base of the carrots and start pulling. And pull out things that look like this. Oh, there's another one of these mutants back here. Who would want a carrot that looks like this? They're almost too perfect. Look at this big thing over here. That's not a carrot. That's an insurance policy. Just look at these beasts right here. They barely resemble what you get from a grocery store. Now normally there is no faster route to diarrhea-ville than eating an unwashed grocery store carrot, but since we're pulling these right out of our garden and they aren't changing hands or touching equipment that's cross-contaminated, there's really no way to get sick eating them out of the garden unless you're using something like raw, unprocessed manure or something like that, which I am not using. So all you really need to do is just wipe off a little bit of the dirt. I mean, I'm not an animal here. But aside from that, they're going to be safe to eat right out of the garden as long as you're otherwise being sanitary. Now that being said, nothing this large should have any sweetness to it if you're used to a grocery store carrot, but out of the garden, did you hear that crunch? You cannot fake that. That is not something you will get from a grocery store carrot. They're usually like rubber. So once again, if you're going to eat these weird orange danger-sickles that in no way represent a carrot from the store, that's on you, but I don't know if I'd risk it. Scam vegetable number three won the top spot for the least popular crop in all of Transylvania, and that is garlic. I wouldn't trust anybody that grows this, because it brings out the worst trait in all of humanity, laziness. That's because garlic is basically zero maintenance after you plant it. All you have to do is just dig a few rows that are spaced about one foot apart, and then you plant all your garlic cloves about two to three inches deep. Then you amend your trenches heavily with an organic fertilizer and bone meal, backfill them all, and you add some compost and a mulch layer on top, and if you're fancy like me, drip lines. And then after that, you pretty much set it and forget it. Gardening is about being afraid to leave your house for long periods of time because your plants will die. Gardening is about cursing when animals and insects and other pests attack your plants. And with garlic, you don't have to do any of that, because it's basically on autopilot and nobody wants to eat it because it's spicy, bitter, and it stinks. I mean, garlic oil is basically a natural insect repellent, and if you do it right, it's also great at chasing away door-to-door salesmen. And unlike me, garlic is basically invulnerable to cold. I mean, you could live in northern Alaska and you can plant hardneck garlic and it'll do just fine growing in zone one or two. So it's something that literally anybody can grow no matter where they live, no matter how cold it gets. And even if you live in the tropics, you simply give your garlic heads pre-cold vernalization where you stick them in a brown paper bag and you put them in your refrigerator for anywhere from four to eight weeks. That will give them the chill they need to make nice big bulbs. Oh, and as a side benefit, after you harvest your garlic, it can easily store up to four to six months in a basement or a garage. I mean, the garlic I planted in this bed right here was leftover garlic from my harvest last June, and it never fails, so I keep recycling it year after year. I just save the biggest garlic heads and I keep planting them year after year, so it doesn't even cost me any money. Nothing in our gardens is supposed to be this easy and low-maintenance, so for that reason, it has to be a scam. Vegetable number four is the one that Australia somehow managed to make less healthy than French fries, and that is the onion. I used to love growing onions back when I thought they were really complicated. That's because your bulbing onions come in three types, short day, intermediate day, and long day, and you have to pair them to the latitude that you live at based on how long your days are in the summertime around the solstice. So for example, the higher your latitude, the longer your summer days are, so if you live very far north in the United States, you have to grow a long day onion. If you live far south, you have to grow a short day onion. And if you live in the middle, you grow an intermediate day onion. I love complications like this, because it makes it more fun. But then I decided to run an experiment. Hey, onion greens are pretty cold-hardy, and the days in wintertime are pretty short no matter where you are, so what happens if we grow short day variety onions in the winter? Well, I tried it last year, and what happened blew my mind. I got beautiful harvests of onions in late winter, and I grew them all throughout the late fall, throughout winter, almost to early spring, and I couldn't believe how well they grew off-season. They did not grow as large as my spring onions, but I didn't anticipate them to, and I still got 70 to 75 percent of the bulb size, all for zero maintenance, growing unprotected in the ice and snow in my garden. It was just so easy to do that now I just can't stop planting onions in the winter. Here we are again. I have a whole bunch of short day onions, and surprisingly some shallots, grown in this raised garden bed right here. And it's so easy, and they are just thriving, even in the middle of December. So here I am, yet again, growing this giant bed of onions for probably a total of $3 worth of seed all throughout the winter, and come about March 1st, I will be pooling them. And the nice thing about onions is, they store for months in a garage or a basement similar to garlic. Not quite as long, but you can easily store them for 2 to 3 months in most conditions, maybe even as long as 4 to 5 months in perfect condition. So once again, I dug the trenches, I planted the onions about 4 inches apart, I put down fertilizer and bone meal, I ran my drip lines, and now I'm going to have basically another zero-effort harvest that's going to sail through the winters here in North Carolina. Anything this easy just has to be a scam. And vegetable number 5 is kale. When I was growing up in the 90s, kale was a nickname short for Caleb. But now, kale has gotten its fingers into more things than cranberries. It's everywhere in your grocery store. There are more varieties of kale in your grocer's refrigerator section than there are lettuces. You got kale salad, kale chips, kale smoothies. Nothing this trendy should be trusted. First problem with kale, it's too pretty, and that in and of itself is suspect. You have your dazzling blue kales, you have your beautiful mint green curled kales, you have your red Russian kales. There's just too much to pick from, and it is all so beautiful. And for that reason, we should all be very wary. Second, it's way too easy to grow. I mean, this stuff is cold-hardy to 10 degrees unprotected. It can survive below zero with protection. This stuff can grow out in a garden all the way down to zone 6 and survive the winter and come back for spring. And to add insult to injury, kale is basically a biennial. It has more than an annual lifespan. So you can plant this in your late summer garden, and it will grow throughout the fall and the winter, into spring, and into the following summer. So this is something that can occupy your bed for literally an entire calendar year. But here is the strangest thing of all. Nothing this healthy should taste good. And the thing about kale is, while it can be tough and bitter, like a lot of the stuff in grocery stores is, well, we've been through about 6 or 7 frosts and freezes. And kale, in the cold weather, after it gets kissed by a few frosts and freezes, well, something weird happens. It gets sweet. Nothing that looks like this should be sweet, ladies and gentlemen, yet. I swear to you, it actually is sweet, so much so that even the stems, they have an odd sweetness to it that is almost misplaced, because you look at a leafy green like this, and you're not expecting it to be actually sweet when you eat it. Now, to be completely honest with you all, here where I live on the southeastern coast of North Carolina, Zone 8B, my kale does not survive the summers here. Not because it can't take the heat, but because of the insect pest pressure. We get so many cabbage moths and cabbage loopers and harlequin bugs that they always eat my kale alive. If I had a way of protecting it, I could get them through so they could keep growing into the fall, and sometimes stripping off all of the leaves so there are no leaves for the worms and the harlequin bugs to eat. Sometimes that does work, but honestly, it's just easier to start a new crop with fresh plants that aren't beat up from a year's worth of cold and heat. So if you do want to grow kale, I do recommend if you have a tough pest environment in the summer, just start new seedlings in the fall. But if you are able to cover them with insect netting and your winters aren't so dastardly cold that they will kill even kale, well they are something that can be a year-round harvest. But no matter where you live, always be wary of a leafy green that tastes good raw. And that right there are five terrible, awful, no-good vegetables that you should never grow in your garden again. Obviously this video was an exercise in sarcasm and some really bad jokes that would make most dads blush, but sometimes you make a few hundred of these videos here and there and you have to have a little bit of fun for yourself too. So I hope that you did enjoy it and that you found it entertaining and you got something out of it. And hopefully it really drives the point home that even if you live in a very cold climate, this time of year in the fall, in the winter, early spring, when it can be cloudy and cold and it's really not a lot of fun to be outside, well it's great to have a few things growing in your garden just to soak up some vitamin D and to see some fresh, green plant life out there. And many of these things genuinely do taste better in the colder weather. The coldness, it just makes them have higher concentrations of sugar, so you get better tasting produce at a fraction of the cost of the grocery stores and it's just so rewarding to be growing anything this time of year. And the vegetables that I featured in this video are genuinely some of the easiest, lowest maintenance crops that you can possibly grow in your garden. So, everybody, I sure hope you found this video helpful. If you did, please make sure to hit the like button, subscribe to the channel, and please ring the notification bell so you're notified when I release more videos like these. Again, for any of the seeds for the varieties I featured in this video, I did place links down in the video description to them for your convenience. I also placed direct links for a lot of my favorite gardening products that I use in real life that help me grow winter garden, like frost covers and PVC clips and various fertilizers that perform well in cold weather. For everything else I use in my yard and garden in real life, that is all linked in my Amazon storefront, so expand the video description, click on the Amazon storefront link, you'll see everything I use in real life. And while you're down there, check out my website, themillennialgardener.com, for custom merch if you want to support my channel. Thank you all so much for watching, and I hope to see all of you again on the next video. Dale, exactly when did the norm become you getting two one-mile walks every single day? We went from you getting one one-mile walk every single day to now you get a morning mile walk and an evening mile walk. And I don't know when this happened exactly, but now two miles a day is the new norm. Alright buddy, I think you're the one that's walking me. I think you're the one that's training me. He's not even paying attention, he's on the sniff trail, it's like I don't even exist.