The _Farting in Front of Your Spouse_ Dilemma _ Anjelah Johnson-Reyes Stand Up Comedy

Middle of the night and you are in bed with your honey and you need to fart. What are the options? All right, we're gonna jump right into some attitudes. This one's from Stephanie Stephanie's mattitude is my son won't sleep in his own bed, and I can't have alone time with my husband Yeah, that's a tough one Stephanie how old is this child 12 It's a boy mom 32 he needs his mother 70 have you guys tried? Locking the door smart what my wife and I will just we lock the door Let's see Charlotte has a mattitude her mattitude is people who bring dishes they didn't sign up for to Thanksgiving Oh, and then you got like double mac and cheese Uh-huh Yeah, I see how that could be a problem because like you signed up for it You got all the ingredients you made it and then here comes so-and-so Bringing her extra mac and cheese and now people are getting some of hers some of yours And then you got like half of yours left. Yeah, I'm mad. All right, let's move into gratitude David has a gratitude. He says here tonight for my two-year wedding anniversary My wife and I were both widowed suddenly and found new and great love again Congratulations David, where are you? Oh, there you are David Congratulations. All right, Teresa has a gratitude random, but I'm grateful for a holiday blow-up yard decorations They always bring a smile to my face I picture Teresa like Will Ferrell and Elf like she's just like sweet I do like a good blow-up I do But I'm also entertained by the one up at the the car dealership, too People in your neighborhood that are just committed to Halloween so every holiday those people it's a skeleton Just puts on a different hat for each holiday. I Like those people cuz they're doing it, but they're half-assing it at the same time. I Did it babe? It's out there Yeah, Teresa likes it. I saw her smile Or you have a couple questions from some audience members tonight Jamin, okay Their question is middle of the night and you are in bed with your honey and you need to fart. What are the options? Middle of the night, bro, you let her rip You push hard and then you pretend you're sleeping And if you're real diabolical and hilarious you grab the blankets and you cover your suit That can't be a dating with your honey I Have a funny My friend farted in front of her her boyfriend story. This is they're married now for like umpteen years two teenagers But when they were first dating, okay He spent the night and like in the middle of the night. She farted and she like kind of woke herself up She's like, oh my god. I hope you didn't hear that cuz they were like sleeping. She's like, okay, cool. He's asleep. Good and Then like months later They're like walking up the steps and he farted in front of her and she goes Did you just fart and he goes so you farted in the bed? And then they got married This last question is from Charlotte How do I tell my brother and sister-in-law that their house is nasty and nobody wants to eat over there? I mean, what is it? Is it like pet hair everywhere? Is it like what makes it nasty Charlotte? Charlotte where are you? All right there. Oh What makes it nasty They don't know how to clean house and they have too many animals And they invite you over for dinner. Oh Do you go or you make up like our busy? You always make up excuses. Oh Shoot here's what you do. What do you do? What do you do? You ask them what they're making for dinner and then you just make it and bring it They go we prefer this one because we know it's clean You