Will Prince Harry Ever Get To Be A Hallmark Christmas Movie Prince？

Hey, welcome back everybody! Please, have a seat. Thank you. Give it up for Lewis Cato and the Late Show Band right over there, everybody. I'm still over here because there's so much more to talk about. It's the holiday season, and y'all know what that means. We're getting enough Christmas movies to last till Purim. There are already more than 80 holiday films this season, and they have similar themes. There's a royal Christmas manor, where a prince escapes to a cozy inn for a traditional American Christmas and falls for the innkeeper. A royal Christmas hope, where a widowed non-profit founder meets a visiting prince. And one where a princess escapes to a Montana ranch and falls for a rugged guide called a royal Montana Christmas. Here's a little peek at a royal Montana Christmas, streaming and steaming, now on Hallmark+. Look, I understand how impractical this is. I looked up your country. It is very, very far away. What if we tried? I don't want to lose this. Neither do I. But I just need to think about it. Look, I get it. I get it. It's got to be tough. It's got to be a tough call to stay with a guy who admits he has to look up where English people come from. But it doesn't stop there. Between Hallmark and the other networks, you could watch a royal icing Christmas. The Reluctant Royal. A royal Christmas tale. The Royal We. Royal-ish. A Christmas castle proposal. And the Crown Prince of Christmas. Now, as a Catholic, I was taught the Crown Prince of Christmas was Jesus Christ. But apparently now it's TV movie actor Jillian Vanover. Sorry, Jesus. You should have booked that walk-on role in NCIS Los Angeles. You know, folks, as much as I love these holiday movies, and I do, I think they're a little problematic because they give people the unrealistic expectation that during the holiday season they're just going to bump into some prince at their job. Excuse me. Sorry. Stephen. Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales Sussex, what are you doing here? Sorry. I thought this, I thought this, I genuinely thought this was the audition for the Gingerbread Prince Saves Christmas in Nebraska. What? No. I mean, that sounds like a fantastic movie. But you're an actual prince. Why would you be, why would you want to be in one of those movies? Well, you Americans are obsessed with Christmas movies, and you're clearly obsessed with royalty, so why not? I, look, I wouldn't say we're obsessed with royalty. Really? I heard you, I heard you elected a king. No, he's, he's got a point. And after making such a big deal about my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather George III. Well, he was kind of a jerk. Okay, let it go. Okay, so listen, so what's a real prince got to do to get into a Hallmark movie these days? Well, what can you do? I've got skills. I can ride a horse. Okay. I can fly a helicopter. Okay. I can ride a horse in a helicopter. I'd like to see that, but look, Harry, this is about show business. This is all about who you know. I mean, do you have a personal connection to any famous TV actresses? I might, I mean, I might know one. Okay. But listen, Stephen, I'll do, I'll do anything. I'll do anything. I'll, I'll record a self-tape. I'll fly myself to an audition. Settle a baseless lawsuit with the White House. All the things you people on TV do. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Harry, I didn't do any of those things. Maybe that's why you're canceled. Might be, might be, might be. But seriously, can you, can you help me? I'll do anything in return. Look, Harry, if you want to land one of these hallmark roles, you've got to practice helping Americans reconnect with what they love about Christmas. Okay. Christmas. Right. Wonderful. Okay. Christmas traditions. Like putting on jumpers and putting crackers on Boxing Day. Are those even real words? Oh, who am I kidding? I'm never going to be an American Hallmark Prince. And now I'm stuck here, spending the holiday season in your quaint little village of midtown Manhattan. Look, I'm sorry, Harry. You seem like a nice enough guy, but real life is not like those TV movies. I don't run a non-profit bed and breakfast slash candy cane factory with my beautiful three daughters, Holly, Tinsel, and Popcorn Strang, at least not since the bank foreclosed on it last Christmas Eve, leaving me so cynical that only a chance encounter with the prince could ever redeem my faith in the holidays. Wait. Steven, listen. Do you see what's happening? Can you hear the sleigh bells? Yeah, it's probably one of those Central Park horses having a seizure. No, no, no. Come on, come on, come on. Just look at this. We're suddenly surrounded by beautiful Christmas trees. Yeah, it's for a Christmas bit I was going to do before you interrupted me. Oh, Steven. Steven, look. It's snowing. No. No, stop it. This isn't snow. They're just already starting to tear down the Ed Sullivan Theater. This is asbestos. The asbestos is giving the horses the seizures. Steven, you just have to believe. Doesn't this prove anything can happen? I mean, minutes ago, you said it was impossible. But look. Isn't there a handsome prince standing in front of you right now? Look, Harry, I'm sorry. Harry. I know you want this, but I'm afraid I have to say I was testing you. You've got the role. Ladies and gentlemen, the official Late Show Prince of Christmas. We'll be right back with Michael Shannon. Merry Christmas, y'all.