It Happened To Jane _ Jane Tells Her Secret Live on TV _ Love Love

Mrs. Osgood, while I applaud your independence and admire your combative spirit, I'm afraid I fail to see where defendant Herion has transgressed the legal bounds, which are the constitutional right of all citizens. Harry Foster Malone transgressed when he murdered my lobsters. Murdered her lobsters, Osgood. I know where he can get a job. Hello, Jim. What's your question? Actually, this, sir. Mrs. Osgood, are you not invoking sympathy for your cause on purely emotional and feminine grounds? Right boy. What has that got to do with the facts? Precisely. Let's hear from Lois. The preceding panelist was obviously obfuscating the issues involved here. A not uncommon masculine gambit in 20th century America. Stupid little broad. What's your question, Lois? Mrs. Osgood, how can I help? Left hand. Are you telling me there are southpaw lobsters? Oh, yes. Certainly there are. You see, all lobsters, as you know, have two large front claws. Now, one is very heavy and has blunt teeth. That's the powerhouse claw. And the other is smaller and has sharp teeth. Well, naturally I'm nervous, George. You don't know what it's like to be on TV. Well, if it hadn't been for Larry, I don't know what I would have done. Where is good old Larry? Well, the poor boy is just about ready to collapse, George. You don't know what he's been through. Well, now they want me to do the big payoff. Well, Jane, you're a most persuasive young woman. Walt Framers agreed to break precedent just this once. Which means that the cash value of the prizes that Larry, your knight in shining armor, has won for you will be sent to Harry Foster Malone as rent immediately following the program. Now then, panel, I am not going to ask this young lady to reveal her correct name to us because if we knew her name, we would know her secret. So we will simply call her Miss X. Now, Miss X, if you'll whisper your secret to me, we'll reveal it to the folks at home. Panel, I think I must say that ordinarily we would not accept such a secret on our show. But I've been talking a great deal to this young lady backstage, and I tell you, by golly, I think she is right. I want that man barred from my railroad for life. Now, we'll start the questioning with Bill Cullen, please. Uh, ma'am, this male that you're involved with, is, uh, is he human? He certainly is not. Was it something like a snake or a baboon or something like that? Harry, I tell you, we've got trouble. This newspaper, you can't... Get this, Sloan, I'm 52 years old and I was born on the Lower East Side in a cold water flat. I wasn't lucky enough to get to college or law school. I'm a slob that came up the hard way. But let me give you a chunk of information. Anybody who gives trouble to Harry Foster Malone gets trouble. Got that? Have it your way, Harry. Yeah, I will. Now, every time we stop at Cape Ann, it costs us money, right? Yeah. Watch this bit, look out. All right, let's go to Henry Morgansby. Isn't he, is it? Yes, Harry, oh. Miss Beardsley, get me Gary Moore on CBS. Yeah, right now. Be sure to tell him it's me. Oh, uh, thank you. Excuse me, panel, just a moment. Hello, this is Gary Moore. Yeah. Hey, hey, that's great. Yeah, I'll tell everybody. Gary, I know. Gotta be. Henry, you can take your blindfold off. I have just this moment talked to Harry Foster Malone, president of the E&P Railroad. He is canceling her rent, and he is giving her the train. Oh! We got a train! All right!