MOST BIZARRE Vintage Inventions

People who lived in the olden times invented all sorts of strange and amazing things, like baby cages designed to allow babies to get fresh air and sunlight, and portable TVs a leap ahead of their time. So join me as we take a look at 15 of the most bizarre vintage inventions. Number 15. Wooden Swimsuits. Bathing costume design has changed substantially over the past century, with far more different materials and styles now available than ever before. There was one type, however, that was first introduced in 1929 that was so bizarre that it's hardly a surprise we don't see them anymore. At the time, Grey's Harbor was one of the biggest lumber producing and shipping regions in the world, and products were made in all different shapes and sizes, from giant logs to perfectly shaped planks. So much was being made that the company started exploring other avenues that their products could be used for, and the result was an advertising campaign called The Spruce Girls, which showcased a line of spruce veneer swimsuits. Said to be cheap and easy to make, but modern and fashionable, the adverts also encouraged people to make designs of their own from pieces of wood that were left over from building projects. Every one of the images looks incredibly happy with what they're wearing, but you have to wonder whether these were comfortable in any way whatsoever, and whether it was actually practical to swim in them. Then, of course, there's the question of just how long a wooden swimsuit would last, as they surely would eventually absorb enough water that they begin to fall apart. Number 14. Mass Shaving Machine In the early 19th century, it was socially expected that people who grew facial hair should be clean-shaven when they were going to work at the office, but with such long commuting times and the expense of owning razors and foam at home, it was almost impossible to take care of the nightly growth before leaving in the morning. This meant that people would usually stop off at a barber's to have a clean shave on their way, in a similar way to how they'd have their shoes shined. The companies that offered services like these were limited with how many customers they could serve because each worker could only shave one face at a time. Luckily, an ingenious inventor came up with a solution – a group shaving machine. All they had to do was sit their clients inside the contraption and they'd be able to use the first part of the device to apply foam to their faces, and then a large blade would then be used to trim the hair. With this, it was possible to shave as many as 12 people at once, but it came with its limitations. The main problem, as was proven in a comedy show in the 1960s, was that the machine wasn't able to alter its movements depending on the shape of the face of the people being shaved, and this led to uneven results and, in the worst case, cuts and abrasions that wouldn't occur otherwise. 13. Snowstorm Mask As anyone who lives somewhere with a cold and icy environment will know, there's probably nothing quite as uncomfortable as having a freezing, snow-laden gust of wind blowing into your face, and particularly in the 1930s there was a decent solution to overcome this. Sure, you could wrap a scarf around you, but this would limit your vision as you carefully trot along a frozen sidewalk. So, in 1939, an inventor began selling the Blizzard Cone, a transparent mask that could fit over the face and protect you from anything that would blow your way. It was created by a Montreal resident, where the temperature would often fall below freezing, and during the worst storm that had 18 inches of snow falling, the advertising campaign showed trendy city-goers wearing the devices. Despite their best efforts, however, the cone masks never exactly took off, with most people pointing out how impractical and uncomfortable they were, and the design instead became a curiosity of the history books, which is fortunate, because had they become popular, we'd be covering our faces with these pointy masks any time there was the slightest hint of snowfall. 12. The Toilet Mask The idea of wearing a face mask to improve your skin and leaving you feel refreshed and relaxed isn't too strange in modern times. After all, it is a multi-billion dollar cosmetic industry around the world. But in the 19th and early 20th centuries, things were very different. Known as toilet masks, the first patent to be filed was by a milliner and dressmaker from Ohio called Madame Helen M. Rowley, and she described her invention as a mask for medicinal purposes. Looking fairly similar to something you'd expect Hannibal Lecter to wear, the mask was made from flexible India rubber, and was marketed as something to wear overnight to beautify, bleach, and preserve the complexion of the skin. The way it did this was by encouraging perspiration to open the pores and increase circulation close to the surface, and also to apply chemicals to the skin that could help treat blotches, pimples, and other so-called defects with the complexion. Masks like these became so commonplace that women across the country were regularly wearing them, and several other inventors created their own version, using materials like cotton, linen, and silk, and more worryingly, asbestos and lead. One made by Nettie Jenkins was made of benzoic acid, sulfur, salicylic acid, and other abrasive substances, and there soon became worries that the masks were actually causing more problems than they were solving. It's probably best for all of us that they've since fallen out of fashion, and that modern alternatives are now far safer. Number 11. Dinosphere. In the same way that an inventor once looked at a bicycle and realized they could make a far more practical means of transport with just one wheel, an inventor in the early 1930s called Dr. J. A. Purves created a new type of car with the same idea, which was supposedly inspired from a sketch by Leonardo da Vinci. Known as the Dinosphere, the single wheel itself became the entire car, and inside it there was a cabin, the entire width of the giant wheel, where the driver would sit. The cabin was mounted on tracks around the inside of the wheel, and the motor was geared with the tracks to start the wheel spinning. In theory, the weight of the motor and the driver would be enough to keep them parallel with the ground, and it was said to have a maximum speed of about 30 miles per hour. He built two versions of it, both of which proved the concept, but despite his optimism for widespread adoption, it never really took off. It simply wasn't as practical as the other car designs of the time, and if you brake too heavily, you'd risk spinning around the inside of the wheel. Number 10. Portable Straw Radio Hat. Nowadays, it's almost impossible to imagine what life would be like without portable devices that we can use to play music, and even in the past 20 years, the functionality has improved dramatically. Of course, before the advent of smartphones and music streaming, you either had the choice of listening to a record or listening to the radio. In the 1930s, even receiver equipment was rather bulky, and that's why it was all the more impressive that the portable straw radio hat was even possible. Originally thought to have been created by an inventor in Berlin who was said to have wanted a way to listen to the Sunday sermon while playing golf, it was essentially a straw hat with two large antennas sticking out of it. It soon turned out that after details were published in a British magazine in 1931, that this wasn't actually the first attempt at such a device, and that an American inventor had produced something similar a few years earlier, and in subsequent years a number of other versions were also designed. None of these were seen as practical or fashionable enough to catch on with the public though, and it would be another few decades in 1955 with the invention of the transistor radio that portable radio technology truly became feasible. Number 9. Penguin Flight Trainers Have you ever wanted to learn how to fly a plane, but been too afraid to actually go up into the air to do so? It's the most dangerous type of vehicle to train in because of the way it involves going up into the sky. But in 1918, the Breeze Aircraft Company from Farmingdale came up with a solution. It was born of an idea by the US Army where commanders wanted to find a way to give student pilots a way to experience what it was like to use airplane controls at near flight speeds but without the danger of actually flying, and the result would become known as the Penguin. Built with too small an engine and wings that were too short to generate enough lift, they were purposefully made to be as difficult to control as the actual aircraft of the time, so they had no brakes or steerable wheels. This model is the only time such a trainer has ever been built, and the company was reportedly contracted to construct 300 of them. Unsurprisingly, due to the number of crashes that happened with the increased number of obstacles found on the ground, of all the ones that were built, only the original has survived, and it's now on display at the Cradle of Aviation Museum in Long Island. 8. The Creeping Doll Any inventor who wants to make their fortune would be wise to focus on the market for children's toys, because those who manage to come up with the next best thing are in line to make millions. One of the most popular types of toys are dolls, and there's long been huge demand for childlike ones, but sometimes people have gone too far, and instead of designing something cute and adorable, have made something that would be more at home in a horror movie. A patent filed in 1871 by R.J. Clay from New York shows just how wrong things can go with the Creeping Baby Doll. Designed to be as anatomically correct as possible with moving arms, legs, and head, there's a complicated clockwork mechanism inside that moves the limbs in a realistic fashion so the doll seemingly crawls along the floor. Of course, while it worked in principle, it wasn't exactly endearing to children, and was more like a creepy doll than a creeping doll. Clay apparently was able to fund the production of one working prototype of his invention, which has long since been lost, and it only reinforced how bad an idea this was. He was forced to go back to the drawing board, and luckily his creation was all but forgotten about. 7. The Isolator Everyone, no matter how determined and disciplined they are, finds it difficult at times to remain as focused as they need. This could be a student trying to complete a dissertation, a lawyer planning their final argument, or a composer writing the perfect chorus, and often the only choice is to try to work through the distractions or take some time out to try again later. Normally it's noises that can interrupt the most, but it can also be visual elements too. So, an inventor called Hugo Gernbach tried to develop a solution that he called the Isolator. Made from wood that was lined with cork on both the inside and the outside, and covered with felt, three pieces of glass were inserted for each eye, and a baffle placed in front of the mouth to allow breathing without making a sound. After perfecting the design, it was said to be able to block out as much as 95% of ambient sound. But the creator also believed that the movement of the eyes would also be distracting. He solved this by painting the eyeglasses black, but revealing small slits in the paint to only allow a very specific field of view. At this point it was already sounding more like a torture device than a concentration aid, but in tests he found that after around 15 minutes, users began to feel drowsy and became unproductive. This led to the final element, which was an oxygen supply feeding directly into the helmet, and was found to significantly improve respiration and energize the user, which Gernbach said made the Isolator a brilliant investment. 6. Freckle-proof Cape It may surprise you to learn that the first sunscreen as we know them was only developed by a chemist called Franz Greiter in 1946. This was possible because of the increasing knowledge of chemicals and how different blends can have varying results. And with the initial formula at least, some surprisingly dangerous ingredients were used with the express intent of preventing sunburn, but little thought was put to what other conditions would be caused as a result. Before its invention, though, people were limited in their choice of how to protect themselves from the sun. Cultures throughout history have had their own techniques, such as spreading mud or another liquid paste-like substance to their skin to block out the sun's rays completely. But in the 1930s, bathers in America had the option of wearing one of these rather frightening pieces of clothing known as the freckle-proof cape. With built-in sunglasses and a hole for the mouth to allow for easy breathing and eating, it too provided a physical barrier to protect the skin from the sun, but came with a few problems of its own. The first was that the material it was made from would absorb the sun's heat, so wearers would become extremely hot if they had it on for more than 20 minutes. And the other was stylistic. Wearing a cape and a hood like this is simply too similar to a group of people that no one in their right mind would even risk being associated with, so the freckle-proof cape was a failure before the creators even tried to sell the first one. 5. Bed Piano There are so many different types of beds available today that there is one for virtually every need. They come in all shapes and sizes and can have televisions or even fish tanks built into them and are seemingly designed so we can stay in them for days on end if we want. But this isn't exactly something new. A design from 1935 shows that inventors have, for a long time, been finding ways for people to be able to do things in bed that you normally wouldn't be able to do. But rather than being to enable lazy people, this was an invention intended to assist people who, for medical reasons, were bed-bound. Amazingly, the so-called invalid piano is actually a very complicated piece of design. Sitting at the end of the bed, the foldable instrument allows for the keyboard to reach forward within reach of the person in bed and the keys are still able to operate the specially elongated hammers that, in turn, hit on the strings to play the notes. Today, of course, the same would be possible with a much more compact electronic keyboard, but while it may look strange now, the invalid keyboard was truly a revolutionary invention, if not one that actually sold well. 4. Neck Brush One of the worst things after having a bath or a shower as a child is having an adult reminding you to wash behind your ears and to properly dry your neck and head afterwards. Or at least that's what the executives at the Los Angeles Brush Corporation began to believe after a mother sent a suggestion to them. As any company should, they were always looking out for new ways in which they could incorporate their brushes into products, but the one they released in the 1950s would not fail to set the market alight. It would lead to questions being asked about child cruelty. The new plastic brush was designed as a wearable collar with the bristles pointing inwards, and the idea was that instead of having to go through all the effort of giving your child a proper wash, you could instead attach this around their neck. You'd then let them go and play like normal, and their natural motion would cause friction against the brush, and they'd Very few images of the device in action remain, but none of them show children finding the experience particularly pleasurable. With tough bristles, it was likely extremely uncomfortable, and so it's no surprise that this didn't become a must-have accessory. Of course, if they had put brushes on the outside so the poor child would also clean the floor while playing, then it might have been a completely different story. 3. Loop-De-Loop Double Bicycle Everyone who's ever learned to ride a bike has also, at some point, wanted to be able to perform tricks on one. But even the best riders take a long time to perfect their craft, and often suffer serious injuries along the way. An inventor called Kay Lang came up with a creation in 1905, however, that he believed would enable him to do what he'd always wanted to do, perform a loop-de-loop within a round track. Now, this is something that's been done plenty of times on ordinary bicycles and requires the rider to build up enough speed and keep stable before entering the loop to emerge unscathed. But Lang had a different idea. He designed a double bicycle, which essentially looks like two bikes that have been welded together, with one sitting upside down above the other. He believed that instead of requiring the rider to invert along with the bike, this would instead mean there are wheels that can connect with all surfaces, and the upper part would take over once the angle of the path he's traveling along is sufficient. It's hard to actually see this working in reality, though, and in all likeliness, it would have probably made this stunt even more difficult to successfully perform. It's not known if he ever managed to build one of these to test, but nothing is known about him since this patent application, so there's a good chance that he did try it, and it failed. Number 2. Portable TV Another thing that we're more than used to in the modern age is the ability to watch television shows or movies wherever we are thanks to the technology that's packed into our smartphones. But this is only something that's been readily possible in the past decade or so. If you go back 20 years or so, you'd need a specialized portable television, and in the 1960s, when households were only beginning to gain access to color TV sets, the idea of one that you could take wherever you go was incredible as anything else that was being featured on the science fiction shows of the time. Walter Pickler, however, designed this bizarre device that he called the portable living room in 1967. Looking almost like he strapped a plastic submarine to his head, the idea is that it completely isolates the user from the outside world and embeds them within a space where they're subjected to constant flows of information. He partly developed this as a serious idea but also as a commentary of how television watching can become all-encompassing and make people completely miss what's happening in the world around them. In many ways, the point that he was making has never been more true than it is today with the way that everyone is guided by their handheld devices, but we should feel fortunate that this technology allowed us to skip the step where we needed clunky headgear like this. Number one, urban window baby cage. It's long been a concern of parents, even to this day, the effect that growing up in a densely populated city can have on the development of a child. And while efforts are now made to control the levels of pollution and to ensure they have the space and freedom to develop into healthy and well-functioning adults, our understanding of child development was less evolved in the early 1900s, something that was exacerbated by the number of diseases that children suffered from that can thankfully now be managed. With such a priority put on fresh air, Mrs. Robert C. Lafferty came up with the idea that she hoped would enable all urban babies to breathe properly and be exposed to enough sunshine. A frightening device called the baby cage, built from wire mesh which allowed the breeze to pass through and light to beam in, sometimes featuring a roof to protect them from rain or snow. They were designed to hang from windows on the outsides of buildings, said to be sturdy enough to prevent even the wriggliest of children from plummeting to their doom. There was a time when a surprising number of families around the world actually used these, but they soon fell out of favor in the mid-1900s with the increase of vehicle use and therefore pollution along with the overwhelming safety concerns. Watch our machines playlist for more top 15 videos about awesome machines. Sit back, relax, and binge watch all of our best machine videos.