just go with it (2011) - katherine’s trophy wife makeover

You want me to be your wife? And you couldn't think of another name other than Devlin? I practically took a Devlin in my pants when she asked me, what's your name? I got panicked. I got nervous around this girl. You got panicked. You who invents a fake wife. Yeah. Every Friday night. Yeah. Doesn't that say something about what I feel about this girl? Have you ever thought about the time that she's going to actually walk into your office and sees that I'm your assistant slash receptionist? So easy. I'm a plastic surgeon. You will never look like you again. What are you... Snip snap. No, no, no. What are you talking about? I'm kidding. I'll get you a fake mustache. Oh, my God. You've really, really not thought this through. Will you please just look at some clothes? Look at that. I don't wear this. What am I... I have clothes, by the way. I do not need to do any of this. No, no, no. You're the best clothes that Old Navy sells. I'm just saying you got to look like a plastic surgeon's wife. I want to create the illusion I had a hot first wife. You're so... Not this. Okay, come on. Let's go. You asked for it. I'm ready. These are... Oh, jeez. Nice. It's just been a while since I've been in heels. Sorry. Okay, okay. Oh, gosh. Okay. Oh, my... Gorgeous. How much are these? $1,700. $1,700? What, do you come with them? My parents' house cost $1,700. No, no. No. What, did Mickey Mantle sign those? Why are they $1,700? Are they made out of panda? Walk away. You know what? We won't really be needing them anyway. I'm actually starting to... I'm actually starting to feel... Not so hot. Is it warm in here? Whew. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it this evening. Oh, very good. Okay, you know what? We'll take them. It's your Christmas bonus. Oh, really? Okay, then I would like them in blue, too. In case the heel breaks. Or I just want to cuddle. It's beautiful. You're sicking me. Yes, well, that's why we're getting a divorce. You're getting a divorce because you're greedy, schemey, and selfish. I'm... Actually, I think you need to get the matching bag, too. Yeah, I think I should. Oh, my God. Thank you, Lori. I agree. Oh, the girls are sticking together. Isn't that sweet? Mm-hmm. She's on your side. What a shot. You asked for this. Uh-huh. You asked for this. You... Okay. Maybe in magazines But you still be my star Maybe cause The show is... Nope. Hell no. No, no, no, no, no. No what? No hope. Okay? There's one... There's only one word for it. What is it? Neglect. Okay? This is one word for the whole thing. Are you the husband? I... I'm the, uh... Soon-to-be-ex-husband. We're getting a divorce. Well, you know he's not divorcing you. He's divorcing your head. True that, Ernesto. Right on the money. Your head was so messed up. I don't even... Let me count the ways. It's dull. It's dead. It's flat. Don't forget to smell it. It smells... Don't smell particularly. I think we got it. You bad. You is bad. Give me a little bit. That's bad, though. You shouldn't... All right. You guys, come on. Seriously, Ernesto, can you just please... Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. ...do something... I could do... ...so we can be home... Hurricane Katrina could do something, baby. I'm gonna do something transcendent. Kasia! Yuri! Mrs. Wiggins! We going in deep, y'all! You seem nervous, Danny. No, no. I just... It's weird. She gets me very tense. I'm sorry to put you through this. No, I understand why we're doing this. I'm just looking forward to getting past this part of my life and moving on to the good part. We will. Soon. Tonight. Good guy. Is that her? I think so. Yeah, well, you got about five pairs of them. Maybe she'll give you one. Henderson, do you see Dr. McAbee anywhere in this room? Oh, there he is. Keep the car running. It shan't be long. Hello, boring. Hey, you want one of the limos, darling? I'm just, uh, playing the part. Okay. Palmer! Devlin McAbee. Soon-to-be single-a-bee. Oh, excuse me. Anybody? Yes, yes. Something to drink, madam? Well, hello. I would like a tall glass of you, if that's possible. Meow. Just kidding. Unless you're really into it. Kidding again. Oh, no, I'm not. We don't know. Grey Goose martinis. Just keep them coming. Okay. Ooh! Make that a dirty martini. Okay. Okay? Well, so, Palmer, I heard you and Danny had sex. Yes. I am so sorry. Please, honey, it is fine. I'm just happy to hear that a sthing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding. He's got a serious small issue with E.D. What's E.D.? Oh, gosh, I forgot. You're 15. Um, erectile dysfunction, my darling. And the thing about it is, if you're trying to throw darts and all you really got, you're shooting with, like, overcooked spaghetti. Okay. I just think that my spaghetti wasn't loving the meatballs it was being served. They were a little too lumpy. Oh. I've heard from a lot of men that I serve the finest meatballs in Southern California. Of course. A lot of homeless men. I've said this. They'll eat anything, you know. Oh. I'm just very shocked that you remember anybody you've ever been with with all the pills that are in your system. She likes the pills, this one. At night, I'd come home, what's for dinner? Well, we had purple pills and the green ones and some lovely yellow bombers I just took out of the oven. Remember that? I had to do something to amuse myself while this one sat on the throne for hours dealing with his irritable bowel syndrome. I got another disease, okay. Can I tell you, I spent the eve of our wedding sitting on the bed listening to what sounded like an underwater symphony of French horns and bassoons coming out of our hotel bathroom. Mix that with the smell of, like, a dead cat and some fajitas and you've got what you call yourself a severely diminished libido. Ow! Did you just kick me? No. Did you? You kicked her? Why'd you kick her? What? Yeah, I don't know. Yes, I have leg spasms. Ow! Just, it's a side effect. Terrible side effect from all the pill popping. But, you know, it's all better now. I'm clean, it's sober, and I'm... I apologize. It's okay. 13th step right there. Back to drinking.