Dating advice you DON'T want to hear (but need)

What advice would we give to all you single folks out there if weren’t worried about hurting their feelings Don’t be so picky boy Give it a shot Go talk to people Put yourself out there Wow Speaking from experience It's not about me right I was thrilled by your answer because it feels like it's not that hard—it's not as hard as you think it is It's the best time of my life Because no relationship no marriage no matter how healthy and happy it is can make you whole or stop you from feeling lonely But before we get into that if you're watching on Spotify go ahead and follow the show and drop a rating If you're on YouTube hit that subscribe button Like this video and don't forget to tap the notification bell so you never miss an episode And if you're on Facebook make sure to follow my page Follow Joy Spring for updates and exclusive content Alright let's dive in Hello and welcome to another episode of Adulting with Joy Spring Welcome to love month Uy Wow Guys besides this love month we're in right now that's why I'm here Apparently it's been back-to-back you know Your podcast episodes baby That's powerful full of insight and wisdom but it needs balance Oh absolutely true We're going to do a comedy To tip the scales Yes A comedy special No joke that's not it This isn't a comedy special but here I am today e easiest guest in the world No management approval needed Just get dressed and head to the other room That's the kind of guest I am Honestly he might resist She said we have a meeting at 4 It's already 3 I told her we can do this Oh okay Just go ahead then She's here Thank you love I know you're busy I just finished a tight schedule What's your message to the fans Mayor Glynn Actually I do have one but the people don't know about it though I have a few nicknames for the tight-knit followers What Tiny little bits Labo Now nothing comes to mind You're so full of sense So my dear supporters thank you so much for standing by our show that we've been doing for a year I had the courage to try for a few months Around eight to ten months something like that And we'really happy with the outcome I became so close to them you know those people Castmates ko di ba And Context Usually how long does a teleserye last Usually like From my experience ah Three months is a long time isn't it Three to five months So it really does feel like I did three shows in one So uh Congratulations Mayor Oh come on You're promoting me aren't you You how do you feel about being um well about having been with Or you've been married to a mayor a priest a doctor What else What the hell A gangster What's that a policeman Ah a detective A detective yes Abdul Yes Okay Happy I still really like you as a Spanish friar Um Well I'm so proud of you right here with Mayor Glenn Because Back then you used to call Knock it's the mayor Now the mayor is calling you Mayor mayor indeed Yes the mayor How would the mayors feel huh With so much power I swear I could rule the world Maybe just maybe I don't know if I'd ever become a mayor but I got a glimpse into that life so Ah It was overwhelming She's really proud of that too Okay okay Well congratulations love Now it's the month of love So we're going to be answering Some questions Sorry Some questions from our about dating advice Okay Let's read that What are some of the dating advice that we'd give them Hey single folks out there if weren't worried about hurting their feelings Go ahead you start Let's switch it up Don't be picky boy Why would you do that Just don't be too harsh Why Because of course What do you mean by that Just don't be too strict Okay Do you think so dude that there are just so many guys who are way too picky Yeah I feel like it's because of social media There's a part of the next generation Yun where the expectations about how their love is supposed to be are just impossibly high That's where their preferences lie what they truly want to do So people become quite selective in that sense It's gone right It's already gone Done with it what now you know like that thing ey're they're getting nowhere because of all these checklists they have to complete before they actually pursue someone But again It's just like in the park go date someone anyone right But you know go talk to people put yourself out there— that's true And take risks That's exactly it this generation nowadays doesn't take risks much anymore Yeah That's a really good one As for me Don't give up on Bataan girl I say this with so much grace and so much love for every woman out there And as I say this as a married woman who’s heard some of her single friends talk about how they went on this first date with someone and then kissed them Then they warmed up to the kid because he seemed like a really nice guy Then they never messaged that guy again Again Then it's like the same pattern they keep repeating with every other guy they're involved with And I say this with so much love and kindness for every woman out there You're for preferably your future husband is actually a protection for you It's not a way for you to stop having fun or prevent you from connecting It's actually a way for you to protect yourself to you know just take it easy And the thing is when you become intimate with someone The soul binding taking place is truly deeply profound and it'll cloud your judgment making you attach instantly So many things could go wrong so many potential issues You could get pregnant For girls the risks are huge risk for girls especially but of course meron din for men But for women it's really such a it doesn 't do us any good if we do that So Hold it out and wait if you can until you' re married Like tell the guy hey I if you're f you've gone on a few dates and you say I really like you but I don't want to kiss I don't want to you know cross those lines And if they truly want to pursue you if they're genuinely interested in your heart in being your partner in loving you supporting you and taking care of you That wouldn’t faze them I’d know You know And I think the reason I say that is because so many women are feeling hurt Just because of that one small decision they make—which isn 't really a small decision at all—it's actually a huge life- changing choice So go out there if you want get to know people go on dates diba have fun but fun doesn't mean giving yourself to someone because that's really what intimacy is all about It's not just a physical act It 's a soulful connection It's an emotional bond Mentally you're committing yourself to someone yun Don't cancel it I'm acting in your best interest No and especially not now in this age of social media I feel like it It's talked about all the time The normalization of casual sex something we just joke about online because it's you know 's the new norm but it's extremely dangerous right Just like what Joyce keeps saying And something not to ignore o make to take seriously to take lightly to take lightly and to laugh about it 's really it's truly something extremely weighty yes very importa Extremely serious that's exactly it a decision in your life So there For your protection Okay Next question You know it's just semantics to me When I was the one he was chasing I thought that was dating but it was just a crush wasn't it Are you the one who sees a difference between courting and dating Yung well it's just courting really—this is all part of Filipino culture The dating scene is quite Westernized you know It's about getting to know someone seeing where things go s particular person keeps coming up again and again you go on different dates but in the Filipino context courtship is a You're barely starting that's already flirting That's what they call it in Tagalog— flirting right Even Filipino culture you know you 'd be singing while washing dishes at their window And you'd sing I'd rather just go on a proper date you know rather than all this courtship nonsense But for me as a traditional person I'd much rather from my perspective I'm courting you and I've never used the term dating with anyone especially not with you So it's either you the one being pursued the one responding and then us That 's just how she is So again I do understand the meaning of it But then again it's not that important Yun so I guess you have to define it for yourself right Like okay Ligaw for me is we're not dating yet not even close to your understanding like we're not dating okay I'm still just getting to know you So if you say yes to me that's it—we're officially dating boyfriend and girlfriend Really Yeah but you know I never understood that process even when I was a kid Because it's like of course the gh school angst utterly heart-fluttering can you flirt with me Right Can you flirt with me Yes but then what when When will you ask when will it become boyfriend -girlfriend Can you be my girlfriend Or can you be my girlfriend So that's the next step right I mean or yeah I'm already answering you Is that it Don't even try to remember Hindi man I've been out of the game for so long guys So and you 'd better be thankful for that There's nothing out on the streets Yeah But really that happened to us didn't it So I distinctly remember it happening right after the first shot I asked Juan if he wanted to have breakfast Then right there freestyle right That's where the freestyle breakfast happens He asked me like " Can I ask you out " Yes So after that what did I tell you Yes But Oh but So I never set any boundaries And then after that it was like e romantic encounter one -on-one which many people witnessed unfold on social media on Unang Hirit We never actually planned to become content But since we're on TV every single day and people keep seeing us They really did notice that there was a developing romance between the two of us And then this was the one who represented that So How did Wansho ask me to be his girlfriend He flew off heading to Hong Kong with his family during New Year's He really went out of his way to get me alone just to ask if I could be his girlfriend Then after a few months When were talking about it she said she just wanted to make sure I was her girlfriend Before he flew off he was headed to Hong Kong supposedly because when he returned he still had something to go back to Because Why though Who answered It was P-TNT of course It should’ve been P-TNT right I just couldn’t grasp it But what you said right Like maybe when you get back it's like you' ve forgotten When I came back you'd already forgotten me or what— we're not together anymore you don 't I'm no longer lost for you He was skeptical about it Guys Their trip to Hong Kong lasted only four days Yes That's a very long four days so So yes Just needed to make sure That's the real difference So it really depends on you on how you define it Okay It 's not like he is That big a difference isn't worth losing sleep over but as long as the one you're pursuing is very clear between you the intention behind the stage is crystal clear at you're currently in I think that's well whatever you call it Kung ito man ay pruning stage or diba whatever As long as you're in agreement and that's the general intent That's why communication really matters Those early practices are really important in your relationship — even if you're not together yet you still need to communicate okay These are my intentions right These are my expectations for girls things like that I think people overestimate marriage to be honest You really think so Overestimate Oo They're scared you know Okay That's why they're scared you know when it comes to proposing and even those She's been dating for a long time girlfriendYeah especially since you're so happily married now Definitely So much has changed so many things have happened I have so many friends you know I was scared okay you just jumped into proposing because well yeah I'm -overthink nila yung the entire idea of what of But yeah I don't know Yeah Well you know it's actually nice No I got all flustered by your answer Well meaning it's not that difficult Yeah It's not as hard as you think it is It's the best time of my life It's the best time of my life You weren't paid to say that Oh Really You think people overestimated Yeah of course you know they're thinking it' s like the um What they're thinking right away oh no what' s that a lifetime commitment really but it's like that's what scares them di doon sa it's so beautiful as if you could to some extent build a life together ave build a family together and all of that which is another thing which is for me one of the best experiences I've had Guys I laugh I joke So what about the others You know guys As a world traveler of course in visa-free countries Kakainas Countries with visa-free access At noon that place 2017 I feel as though I've explored much of Southeast Asia But then again I think people are overthinking it this next step to the point where they're no longer even They pushed through and what's heartbreaking is how their biological age reflects the toll on their bodies That 's really that's really something uh perspective And that's always fascinated me about you of course you're the one who proposed right So I was completely shocked Ha you're jumping into proposing right away like it's just another game with this idea of marriage And I think that's really the thing you know— It's to a certain extent you know what I think it is—it' s the confidence you have in the institution of marriage because you saw it within your own family So for me when I met your couple when I met Wancho' s parents when I met his family I didn't realize it at first which is why his idea of marriage felt so secure—it was clearly modeled after you For some of us though It's the opposite right Like it's so overwhelming we' re just overestimating it huh How could that even happen How is that even possible But Yun everything changed when I became a Christian because then I understood that God is in control And so I gained greater confidence and I suppose a stronger desire for marriage when I became a Christian For me it was the realization that people often underestimated marriage would be the daily small adjustments you have to make For us that's the big thing like We agree on the big things like how we both have a similar temperament when it comes to traveling and handling money How it happened isn't that right It's like the big things we wanted for our family they came so easily to us And maybe that's why It felt so right so perfectly ready when we met and got married But it was the small adjustments —how he sleeps how he is— That's how it operates right Whatever I'm not really good at cooking stuff like that Okay one small thing—when Si Wancho wakes up in the morning you won't be able to find him Like he just disappears You haven't even finished your coffee yet and he's already said so much love this is exactly what we're going to do huh Anyway by the way I messaged Kielta yesterday and this is what she told me oh right Next week that's what I'll do More like me feed me first Drink coffee with me first So I noticed that before it used to be an issue for us So I had to tell him love I need some quiet time like I need to get myself going wake myself up first before I can talk to you properly So it's those little adjustments I feel like because if you agree on the big things—your religion your politics your belief systems and values—then it' s easy And those small adjustments Just focus on what truly matters think about each other and make adjustments accordingly But don't get me wrong no— I don't get your point just circling back on it really quick it doesn't actually mean that more like what is it it 's a blind pursuit Don't overthink it anymore—this might actually be the one you've been waiting for the one you can 't let go But from my perspective From my perspective there's a sense of urgency that demands you seriously consider that next step right away Because you know just like we wanted right from the very beginning to date to be boyfriend and girlfriend to marry and not just to you know have a good time but surely in general from our perspective there's a right balance to To have You know that sense of being ready and also that sense of being risk taker should be carefully thought about as well No relationship can fix that except the relationship with God and a healthy relationship with yourself I think loneliness is often seen as something that can be cured by romance by traveling the world by being surrounded by good friends And sure for a while while you're there She truly enjoys it and you won't feel lonely at all But then again you'll truly be alone sometimes You'll have to shower by yourself you're going to have to sleep alone you're going to have to do many things on your own and unless you confront the truth that the most important question you can ask yourself is Is there a God And if there is what must I do to have a relationship with Him And if there is this God and I have a relationship with Him What does that mean For my existence as a human being no relationship no marriage—no matter how healthy or happy—can make you whole or stop you from feeling lonely That loneliness will always be there I've felt it in my own life in my recent life even though I'm in a happy healthy relationship marriage And I talk about that with Wansho you know there really are other battles you face alone Like for example motherhood pregnancy As much as I can talk to Wansho about it it still feels lonely because I'm the only one going through whatever's happening inside my body my mind in my heart in my spirit So I must wrestle with God I must wrestle with myself I must do things on my own No matter what happens And my husband is not there to keep me from being sad or lonely But he's there to encourage me to walk with me gently Have compassion on me and still love me So I won ’t give him that burden I don’t want to be alone You'll have to work that out on your own That's my take That's what I was thinking Sorry sorry Just Shinuwa that 's all Oh right So Ayan that's exactly it As someone who was once a loner too I have so many things to do—activities —that keep me from feeling lonely I 'm afraid Valentine's Day will come and I'll still have no one to go with Ah really Of course I was actually scared I-I knew that were just talking about this recently didn’t we it feels like just yesterday I already said it I'm just so happy you know we don' t have to depend on each other to solve our problems And loneliness you know was one of my struggles When I prioritized walking with God everything else fell into place That’s as beautiful as it gets So yeah that's exactly what I was saying Because guys marriage is so beautiful please don't get married Love I'm probably just a hopeless romantic love Like Lair just not the Maria kind No but I agree with you on that It's when you have a healthy relationship with God and when you find a good person don't hesitate to take that leap of faith in love It's a beautiful thing truly It can be overwhelming it can be challenging and there will be difficult seasons And it's not perfect—definitely not perfect But when you have a healthy relationship with God leading to a healthier relationship with yourself—a secure relationship with yourself and of course with the Lord— Love comes so easily And then everything else just falls into place Truly as it is written seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you There I hope this reaches all the singles out there or those young ones in a relationship but still a bit rocky I hope you were encouraged by this episode and didn't find it too difficult And we hope you know that even if you're alone this Valentine's Day God loves you God knows you and He has a purpose for your life Instead of being sad or feeling alone come to know God Because He will always be there to walk with you through your loneliest days and your most joyful ones Amen And of course one last quick note before we wrap up this episode—our staff is still here for all the lonely souls out there And speaking of loneliness if you're seeking a godly relationship we do have Kiara and Joyla Just look for him on our social media pages Go ahead and send us a direct message Fully developed frontal lobes Engaged to be married Ready for the next step Loyal beautiful smart just a bit moody One’s from Santa Rosa the other’s from QC Oh if you're in that area please send your CV to hello@joyspring com and info@wanchotrevino com Yes We'll be the ones to place you ourselves You can just send them a direct message Simply find them in our list below Yes that's true Just send them a direct message That's true The other one is a badminton player No The other one is a spelling bee champion That's right Oo Another spelling bee champion So just pick whichever vibe you're feeling—more artistic or more of a nerd You know who the coworker of one of us there is right And we'll see you in the next episode of Adulting with Joyspring Bye