THE TRUTH ABOUT HAVING 3 KIDS | COPING WITH 3 KIDS

Hi guys. Welcome back to my channel. In today's video, I thought I would give you an update on how I'm coping with three children, because the last time I spoke about this, Jackson was a very young baby and he wasn't moving around. So I thought now that he is literally running around, he's nearly 18 months old now, that I would update you, because it's still one of the questions I get asked the most out of every question. What's it like having three? What's it been like having a third child? So I thought I'd give you a little update, and I'm also going to give you some truths in this video as well. So yeah, here we go. The first truth is that you are outnumbered. You're outnumbered. Even if your husband is helping you, there are more children than there are parents. And when I'm on my own with the kids, I'm very aware that I have more children than I have hands. So I think our age gap has been really nice, because all of our children are nearly three years apart. That's actually helped so much, because my seven-year-old is old enough and sensible enough to understand that he needs to listen to me. If we're walking down a road or something, I can have the two little ones. And then my eldest, luckily, I can trust him and he is very sensible. So I think if you are considering having a third, maybe just look at the age gaps. I know sometimes you might want them to be closer when they're older, and I totally get that. But if you don't have loads of help, I think having an age gap has actually been really good for us. The next thing is, if you have a third child, you may need to think about getting a bigger car and even a bigger house. And I hate saying this one, because it's such a stereotype. And when I had two children and I said I wanted to have a third, lots of people were like, oh, what about your car? What about your house? But you do need a lot of space with three children. We built a fourth bedroom onto our house, and it's been brilliant because Jackson actually has so much stuff himself. And also, after 18 months of resisting, we have just got a bigger car. Because although we could all fit in it on the weekends and things when we're all together, if Fraser ever wanted to bring friends home after school, or if we ever wanted to go out with all the scooters and bikes and everything, or when we drive ourselves to the airport for holidays and things, we couldn't get everything into the car. So we've just invested in a seven-seater, big, massive car. I've had to learn how to drive it, but it's been a really good thing because we do need the space. The next thing to note is your house will be very loud, and it's something that you will definitely get used to. And I actually love it. I love having a busy home. I hate it when they're out and our house is really quiet. But if you don't like noise, don't have a third child. The next thing that I wanted to say is that third children just fit in. People said this to me before I had my third child, but it is so true. And in my experience, our third child is by far the most relaxed, chilled out, just goes with the flow. He's so good. He sleeps so well. He eats well. He doesn't have a choice. He just has fitted into our routine so easily. And so many people said to me that two children double the work, but three children quadruple the work. But I don't think that's the case. I think obviously one baby's work, two children do double the work. The third baby has just fitted in. I don't feel like there's loads more to do because I'm already doing the bath time, the bedtime, the meals, like one more little meal. It hasn't been a massive thing. So I would say that third babies are typically very relaxed and easy. And in my experience, that is definitely true. My next point may not come as a surprise, but you won't be getting much sleep for a couple of years. And I think that's probably the same when you have two young children. But when you have three, it's just a bit more work. Because although our youngest is a very good sleeper, then our toddler started having bad dreams or wetting the bed or your eldest wants a drink. And there's always someone who's not 100% well needing something. If I get six hours in a night straight, that is really good going for me. It might be different for you though. I think a schedule and a routine is so key with three children. If you don't have that, you will struggle to sleep, I think. My next point is a little controversial, but I do think that sometimes our middle child suffers from us having three in terms of attention. Our eldest is at school and he has so much going on. And then our youngest is a baby and he needs lots of attention because he can't do anything for himself. So Caleb sometimes gets lost in the middle. We make a massive effort to take him out on special dates, give him so much attention. And he loves being one of three. He adores his little brother so much and his older brother as well. But I think that is something that you have to be aware of. When it comes to holidays, you do have to get creative with a family of five. And again, when I had said to people that I wanted to have a third child, loads of people said, well, what about holidays? And I think that that is a really silly reason to not have a third child. You just have to get creative. So for instance, you will have to do a little bit more research into places that cater for five people in a room, especially when they're young, that can be quite difficult, but you can find villas, hotel suites, and things like that, that will allow all five of you in a room. We have just booked a big two week holiday away because Jackson is 18 months old. We wanted to get a big one in before he became two and he became full price. So obviously that is something to bear in mind if you love holidays, that they will be a lot more expensive, even going somewhere and the flights being like 200 pounds, that is then a thousand pounds, if you see what I mean for all five of you. But our kids love UK staycations. You don't have to go abroad. There are so many holidays and things you can do. We're looking at going camping or glamping with the kids. So yeah, but you do obviously have to get creative and there is an expense with that as well. My next point is that I think for the boys, being one of three children is teaching them so many life skills. And again, I'm sure that's the same if you just are one of two, but they are learning so much negotiation when it comes to choosing what we're going to watch on TV or movies and things like that. There is so much negotiation that has to go on and they have to agree on something. They are learning tolerance because they have to tolerate everyone, obviously sharing and stuff like that. Bedtime can be tricky when it comes to putting all three children down to bed on your own. I do this a few nights a week and it can be quite hard. I think having a schedule and a routine, as I said before, is so key to getting that right and then getting your me time in the evening. But when I do put all three to bed on my own, I don't feel guilty about using technology to help me. If I don't have help physically in terms of my husband or a family member, technology has been amazing. I don't actually know what people did before iPads and things like that. But when I'm putting Jackson to bed, it takes 10 minutes. So I let the two older boys have their iPads and then I come out and then I put Kayla to bed. So Fraser has it for another 10 minutes and then I put Fraser to bed. And I feel a lot safer using technology in that way because I know if they're watching the YouTube kids app, so they're not going to watch anything bad, that they're going to be sat in one place and they won't injure themselves and they will be safe. So use it moderately if you have to. Don't feel guilty about it. Being a mom of three has also taught me that every child is so different. All three of us have been raised pretty much the same, but they're also different. They have their own personalities, their own quirks, and you just have to learn what they are and let them be themselves, do what works for both of you. But it's very difficult with three not to compare them because I'm constantly saying, oh, well, Fraser didn't do that at that age or Caleb didn't do that at that age. But they're all very individual and you need to treat them like that. If you're going to have a third child as well, you will have to accept that you can't do everything. I think you have to accept this when you have two children as well. But even more so with three, there are some things that we just can't do. Some parties that we can't make or like yesterday, the boys, they wanted to go swimming, but it was just me on my own and I thought, well, one of them is going to drown, so I can't do that today. And also don't feel guilty about having days in. There are three of them that can play with each other. So if you can get some activities together, like coloring out or Play-Doh or stuff like that, you can have a nice day in the house with the kids. I love to get out with them. But some days, if one of them's not well or something like that, don't feel guilty about just hanging out at home. I feel really safe when I know where they all are. If you have three children as well, I have realized that strangers or people when you're out and about say dumb things, especially when you have three boys or three girls, I guess. But people have said to me literally when we're out in the park, ask me outright if Jackson was a mistake. I get asked daily if I'm going to have more because I have three boys, I must want a girl. So things like that are really irritating and obviously you just have to let them slide, but just be prepared for people saying dumb stuff. You will never wee on your own again, and you will probably wake up with at least one child in your bed every morning. One thing that I would really recommend if you have three children is to set them up trust funds or bank accounts that you can control and you can put money into every month so that when they become 18, 19, 21, whatever it is, you have a little bit of money there for them. I do worry about how I'm going to pay for all three of these kids to go to university or with house deposits or weddings and stuff like that. So we have accounts for all of them and we put into them every month. Even if it's like 10, 20 pounds, whatever it is, it will really help in the future. So I think that's a sensible thing to do and you won't miss it that much in the interim. So yeah, definitely set up little bank accounts for them all. And the last thing that I wanted to say is if you do go ahead and have a third child, your heart will triple in size. Don't worry that you won't have enough love to go around. Don't worry that you'll be splitting your love at all in any way. You will love that new baby so much. I would never change having three children. It's the best thing I ever did. So if you're worried about having enough love to go around, don't. Right, so that is it for this video. I really hope you liked it. Give it a big thumbs up if you did. And yeah, I think I'm coping quite well with three. I really, really love it. I think it's completely worth it. I'm really enjoying it. Obviously, don't have a third child because I have said that you'll be fine. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that this is my experience and I just love it so much. So yeah, anyway, thank you so much for watching and I will see you in my next one. Bye guys.