SURFING AND SHARK INFESTED WATER MUKBANG

I want to move to the beach so badly. Oh, you will. Give it five years, you'll be one of those beach bums I saw over there jerking off. Alright guys, what's up? It's early in the morning here. We are going surfing today. I've always wanted to... I'm going to go in here because Zane's sleeping. I've tried many times to surf. And I'm not good at it. But you know what? Today, we're going to do it. We're going to go surfing. Joe and I are going to go. I think maybe Brandon's going to come. I also want to let everyone know that Zane has a beautiful apartment. And yet, he chooses to sleep here. Zane, what happened last night? Why did you just go home? Turning his back on me. Alright. Aaron style. Had some style in his own bed last night. But he couldn't make the move. Zane, go sleep in my bed. Want me to do what I do for Wyatt? I put him in the bed. Take his shoes and socks off. Then I put a sheet on him. Then a blanket and then a comforter. Pervert. And then I turn the light. You want to come surfing with us? Right now? We're leaving right now, yeah. Come on, dog. Get out there. It's going to be great. Dude, I need like an extra hour and a half. Zane just goes like this. He goes, dude, I'm down. I'm down. But I have a lot of adult stuff to do today. And if I don't do it today, then... This is adult stuff. It's your vlog channel, bro. It's surfing. No, we're going to film. We're bringing a drone. Where is it? Santa Monica. If you're really sad. We'll play Scotty's music the whole way. I promise. If we get there and I don't feel like surfing anymore, are you going to be mad at me? No. I mean, I don't really want to go out there, but I'm going to try. I'll probably get hurt. I'm so frail at this point. Anything for a thumbnail, baby. I hope that hip... I hope that hip looks good. Praying you're on a stretcher by the end of the day. If something happens. You and Trisha are both on a stretcher looking at each other. Girlfriend stretcher tag. Are you coming or not? Come on. Let's go. Baby, I'm going to do it like you. Turn it on and turn it off when I come back. Upload. I'm going to do it. You coming? Okay, great. Don't be here soon. Brandon and Joe are coming. What? Brandon and Joe are coming? Yeah. I'm good. What? Wipe your butt and let's go. We'll be back at one. Come on, dog. You're going to be glad you went. Get up on that board. You're going to be feeling good all day after you're out in the waves. Going once. One second. Dude, it's going to be a lot of traffic. I have diarrhea. Oh, you have diarrhea? I'm sorry. I didn't know you had diarrhea. Well, what's going on in there? What did you eat? Why do you have diarrhea? Is it from Playlist? I have diarrhea. Are you going to leave me alone? Let's go. We've got to go. Where's your soap? Why don't you have soap here? I'll get you soap. You know, Joe's here and he's... When you're on camera? Jason, I need soap. Am I illuminated? Oh, wow. That worked. That's weird. A little bit. Just a little bit. Oh, because that just opened. I think that's what happened. Yeah, that's the sky right there, Zane. Oh, cool. Flatscreen. But the Roadrunner is on... He's a character in it. Roadrunner and Coyote. I didn't know they were part of Looney Tunes. I thought they were part of... I feel like we'd have to explain the simplest things to you. Milk and cookies is milk. And then what's the other thing? I thought Looney Tunes was like the pig. Do you dip the milk in the cookies or the cookies in the milk? I hate you, Jason. Every time they do a f***ing impersonation of me, it's like... What the f*** are you doing? Is it because I'm... Is it my voice? Is it so deep? No, your voice is just down here a little bit. You sound like a woman that needs a sex change. No, come on, dude. That's what makes you you. If someone can impersonate you, that's a compliment. If someone can pick up on that, that means you left a mark on them. Impersonation is the highest form of flattery. Have you not heard that? Okay, explain that to me. Me and Tricia would have had a naked, beachy, sandy mukbang. That could have been so hot. You're like looking over from your surfing lesson. What the hell are they doing? You guys are sitting there with Jollibee. I don't think they have one of those out here. There's probably some sharks in the ocean right now. I'm getting ready for a mukbang. Oh, yeah. On us. Shark mukbang. Tricia shows up and eats all the sharks. She's got her mom there. I went with Casey James to Hawaii for some vine job. And then we had a total day off where we had nothing to do. And I just went surfing. And I remember I went out on the board. I was with two 11-year-old kids. And they were much better than me. And then at one point, I just left my body. It was the best feeling I ever had. Better than any drug. Better than anything. And I was on the board. And then I just heard the guy behind me. I heard someone being like, Jason. Jason, I think you're on actual drugs. No, I am. I am right now. Wait, so it was the guy talking to you? And you were just out of body experience? And I just had this out of body experience. And then I came back in my body. And I was like... It was literally like nirvana. And then all day long, the whole day after, I was walking around like totally blissed out. The disrespect. Best feeling. Disrespect of who? Don't ever compare yourself to Nirvana ever again. Alright, we're almost here. We made it on time, despite Zane's diarrhea. What time is it? 9.55. Starts in five minutes. Told you we'd make it. In fact, what I might do is have someone run from Tower 18. Drop you guys off and someone walk out of Tower 18. And just say hi? Just say... Yeah, just say hi. Should I go? I don't know, dog. Is that Brandon? Yeah. He's supposed to be here now. At this point, I mean, we're going to be done by the time he gets here. I mean, we're already here, so... You can catch like an hour of it. I mean, I would love you to come. This is where I got married, up here. Casa Del Mar. Where? This hotel on the left. At the bowling alley? At the beach. At the bowling alley? At the bowling alley. Ah, you walked down the bowling lane? It was pretty cool, actually. Who's got good eyes? Hey, I'm surfing. Be back at round one. We'll be here until noon. So if you want to come down, you can catch an hour. It's Tower 18. Come down. Dude, it'll be funny. Come down. You have blurry vision? I can't see squat. Zane, how's your eyes? What? Mine's pretty good. That's 18. That's 18? Yeah. Okay, then we're good. Okay, this is Jared, our instructor for the day. What's up? How's it going? What up, dog? What up? You just got the three biggest idiots in the world. Oh, really? Oh, man. This guy had diarrhea this morning. Oh, he did? Him. Yeah. Me? So you might not want to loan him a wetsuit. I ate a shake yesterday. What kind? From Jack in the Box. Oh, yeah. That explains everything. Strawberry? Sharks out there? Nah, man. We saw a couple seals, though. A couple seals? Okay. A couple seals. No sharks. I looked at your guys' size. I'm like, all right, man. You told them I was coming? Yeah. Well, you're supposed to be Vincent, but you're around the same size. No, we're not. It's a wetsuit. It'll stretch. Yeah, that's true. Let's get him in that wetsuit. Are these waves good today? These are good for beginners. Really? Yeah. Good. None the less. We love that. Just, can you please, like, as I'm going, if I'm able to stand on the board, I'm going down, can you please just get a picture of me? Guys, we're doing this every Thursday. Are we? Right now, we're just trying to feel the board. Is this a good posture? Posture for what? Like, swatting a fly? I'm going down the surf. You're a natural? Zane's incredible. Zane, you're texting? Zane! Damn it. That's my dad! That was so hot! Wait, right? What happened? You got it too? Yeah, I got it too. Okay, who was the best out there? Who was the best? Probably Zane, right? Or Joe? Yo, alright, yo, Joe was getting a bunch right at the end. He was? Yeah. Here's the size of the board, I think. Because it's harder to balance when it's slimmer, but when it's wider, it's easier. Yeah. How much more time do we have? What time is it? It's 11.16. 11.16. Oh, man, you guys got, like, another 30 or 40 minutes. Ah, $%&! 45, though. Where'd Brandon go? He went to get Zane water. For $30. Are you serious? Yeah, Zane gave him $30 for water. Zane, that's not a good way to spend your money. What? Sending people on water runs. Dude, it's great because we're not missing out on surfing. You're not. Joe, what did you think out there? I think it's cool. I think I'm good at it. I got really tired. Yeah. You looked like you were getting the hang of it. Not really, dog. When I was in Hawaii, you had a lot more time. I'd say about 15 seconds, 20 seconds. Like to ride it? Through the knee? Uh-huh. They were long-ass waves and just really gentle. This is a little more tough. Where the f*** is Brandon with my water? I'm shredding waves here. Where is he? All the way down there on the floor. What the f*** are you doing? Brandon's got to get a job if he's going to get you water for $30. Jesus Christ. This is what it's come to, huh, Brandon? This is what Vine did to you? You had to run and get Zane water? I mean, if I wasn't surfing, I would go and get water for $30. I guess. Yeah, right? Zane sucks, dude. Brandon, you're like, I think we need to bump it up to $45. Oh my God, guys. Postmate's here. I think the postmate is here. Here you are. Evian, yeah! Worth the $30. Can I please get the peanuts that you promised me? You drank out of this, you bitch. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did! You took a sip of it! No, I didn't. I swear to Christ. Hold on. No, please don't, because I don't know. Please, I'm so hungry. My family. No, because you just bought an open water bottle. Is there any more in there? No. You're not getting the full 30. You're getting $20. I asked you to get three waters. I knew this was going to be a swindle. As I was walking there, I was like, I should have asked for the money first. I think I'm ready to shred some more gnar. You're going back? God, I want to move to the beach so badly. Oh, you will. Give it five years, you'll be one of those beach bums I saw over there jerking off. To seagulls. Yeah, you remind me of my ex-wife. That's your plan for me? Well, no, that's just God's plan. You know how Drake made that song, God's Plan? Love it. Yeah. Love that song. You should make a part two that's all about your plan in five years. Move out here and quit YouTube. I'm so dope out here every day. Your hair would be looking cool like that every single day. Look how cool your hair looks right now. Look at that. Go Joe! So wait, is this like considered surfing? What they're doing is looking pretty. Oh, okay, I was about to say. What Zane's doing right now is not professional surfing. That's what I did when I was in fifth grade. Go Joe! Yeah, Joe! What happened, did you get up? No, just the tunnels are a little too big today. Yeah, right. You look great, man. Thanks. Anyone ever told you you got the thickest ass? Yeah. Alright. You think this is water, right? Yeah. It's not, it's just pee in my wetsuit. Oh, Jesus, Joe. Yeah, Zane! Whenever he gets a jellyfish on, it's like, have you ever had that happen to you? A jellyfish on you? Yeah. No, that's scary. It's ******* intense, I had it happen to me. Did it get stuck? Did it get what? Did it suck onto you? Yeah, it sucks into you and it feels like you have barbs in your, like, shards of ass. How'd you get it out? Well, it doesn't stay in there, you just rip it off. But it's just because it's so, like, I don't know exactly what it is. Aren't they poisonous? Well, yeah. But, I mean, the one I had wasn't. Did it hurt? I was trying to pee on my own leg, but it didn't work, so somebody else did. In public. Shut up. Who? I don't want to say. Not your mom. That would have been awkward. Was it? No. Jesse? Greg? Take your pick. You must have ******* loved it. He's like, oh, this is fantastic. Memories. What a great story. Remember when you ate that ******* dog biscuit the other night? Because your wife is like, you guys live such an L.A. life to where even your dog has, like, filet mignon to eat. Most dogs just have gibbles and bits, but you have, like, gourmet biscuits for your dog that weren't labeled. So I go into your closet and I just see, it's like, it looks like a thing of cookies. I eat one, and it tastes like a cookie mixed with dirt. I was like, this is a dog treat. And I feel like a fool, but I have to, you said yes. It is a dog treat. And the dog was so angry. He's like, what the ****? We said you could have some of those. As soon as I left, he's like, Jason, can I talk to you for a second? Brandon's a real freeloader, ain't he? Looked like cookies. Still are. Glad you came, Zane? Yeah. Glad you came, Joe? Hell yeah. How about you? I'm sweating. We're doing this. I like the way you told David no on the Tesla. Take the Cooper back. There's nothing wrong with the Cooper. Don't be such a snob. It doesn't have to be a fancy sports car. Coopers are fun, too. Brandon, why don't you just get in Trish's car? Because we need a ride back. I know, but my car will comfortably fit all of us. It won't fit the Cooper. Should I drive? Buckaroo. No, I got it. Why are you so upset about the Mini Cooper? What's wrong with it? We can't all fit in it. Yes, we can. There's three people. I'll sit in the back. You can film it. You'll get more content in the coop. You can make fun of it. I can sit in the front? Yeah, you can sit in the front, dog. Then I'm good. Hot dog. Why don't I drive this? Because I'm driving right now, and I want to feel safe. You're scared. I knew it. That's why you're not letting me drive. Yeah, I'm scared. Let me drive. How about when we get over the canyon? How would we switch? Just pull over. At a red light, we'll switch. All right, maybe. You promised. If it safely presents itself? You promised. I didn't promise. You said, I promised. I did not say, I promise. I'm getting out of the car. Brandon's waving. Wave to him. Stop waving. Stop waving to me, bro. I'm in a Corvette. What's up? Hey, guys, I just wanted to say that just because you're not kinder than me, OK? Shout out to this guy. Tell him he's a piece of ----. Shout him out? Yeah. Hey, this guy behind me is a piece of crap. No, I said shout at him. Oh, shout at him. Yeah. I said shout him out. No, let him know how it is, bro. Hey, man. Have a good day. Nice Mini Cooper. How big's your penis? Get a ******* life, dude. You look miserable. You want that? You want to go right now? Come on. Let's do it. Let's do it right now. Get out. Come on. David, get in the car. Come on. Too big of a puss. Yeah, you wear that ******* Drake and Josh shirt. David. What are you doing, man? Chill the **** out. Trisha's like, you're going to wreck my ******* car. She goes, did you switch? Yeah. Yeah, we switched. That's not me. Oh my gosh. What? I just feel really blessed, bro. I'm driving Trisha Paytas' car. Not too many people can drive this car, you know? David, David, no. David, please. You're lucky I can't squeeze through here. I would have taken us to pound town. Yeah, quarter pound town. Get it? We'd be quarter pounders. Dead. No, I don't get it. Man, it wasn't a good joke. I actually understand a lot of the jokes you say. Thank you. I just laugh at them in hopes that someone will explain them to me later. You want to see me Tokyo Drift this bitch? No. We have the A squad. We have David Dobrik. Prime condition. We have Brandon Calvillo just ready to go. Fighting at the top. Look at my hair, babe. Look at the way it came out today from the water. Doesn't it look good? Yeah, I haven't even looked at you all day. But yeah, it looks good. Yeah, when you go to that ocean, it makes everything perfect. Your skin, your hair. I wish I was invited. I did invite you. I texted you last night. I invited you three times. I texted you last night. I said, are you going to come tomorrow? You said, no. I'm going to get my lips done. And then you said you were busy the other day on Friday. Remember? Why would I get my lips done when you were with me when I got my lips done yesterday? I mean, your eye's done. Your eyelashes. You know what I mean. Trisha. This is getting me so riled up. Thank you for waking me up. Get more into it. Fight. Play Mortal Kombat. Choose your fighter. I'm not choosing Jason. Brandon or David are better than your children. They're pretty cute. Could have done a lot worse. They could have done a lot better. I don't know about that. Matt Kutchel could have been your son. Matt's 30. But he's cuter. What? Take that back. Matt Kutchel is cuter than these two? David. Combined? David. Did you hear that? Trisha said Matt Kutchel is cuter than us. You really think I'm gay? Is that what you're saying? You think I'm really, really gay? I don't know is what I'm saying. I think you're lying. I'm not. I think you're lying. I think you know that I'm not gay. I think you're lying right now. I think you're doing it for the camera. You just turned your camera on. I can tell you off camera where I really think you're gay. I think you're lying. How do you know? Don't you think we would have tried to have sex with Brandon by now? Maybe, yeah. I believe in you. It's just not true. No, you don't like it when we make things about him being gay. I don't care anymore. If he is, I'd want him to be out and live his happy life. I'm telling you what's going on behind it. It's just because we like seeing you. Should I come out for the vlog tomorrow? Yeah. Just come out of the closet. Like literally. Come out of the closet. Are you gay? Look at me. I am 100% straight. I've never had a gay experience in my life. It's fine. I always have gay boyfriends. Oh, Trish. Okay, now it's sad. I know. It sucks. It's the start of my life. If you found out that David killed Jason or me, would you tell the cops? If I found out? David. You're the guy you want to get the- Does he come to me and he's like, Oh man, I shouldn't have done it. I did a really bad thing. Or is it like I killed him? No, no, no. He's like- He's like remorseful of it. That's a tough one. I don't know. Okay, fine. Get me out of the picture because that's why it's a tough one. But Jason. He killed Jason. I have a lot of love for David. I don't know. He's like a brother. I don't think I could turn him into my brother. He just killed Jason. And you know David. I don't know how to answer that. Come on. You wouldn't turn him in? The fact that you're hesitant- Over me? You wouldn't. You're hesitant over a hypothetical. That's weird. Because he wouldn't do it for me. Yeah, he would. Would you turn in David if he killed Trish? I would tell him he needs to turn himself in. But you wouldn't turn him in yourself? Yeah, I wouldn't be an accessory to a crime. So you would turn him in. Oh, that's what I'm saying. All right, fine, Trish. If you found out that Jason murdered David, would you turn Jason in? Yes. That was not a beep that you did that. You didn't take a ******* beep with that. It was David. I guess she let it hang. Sweet little boy. Jason's frustrating. Man, you guys really need to work on your relationship then. Because if she's that quick to put you behind bars- She set it up. If he goes to prison, he will get- He's not, like, young, pretty boy. They go for the docile ones. Not the older ones. Their butts are too crusty. They're weaker. They'll go for him. Without a doubt. Can we not talk about this? Oh, my God. It makes me so uncomfortable. Boundaries, babe. This is when you should be boundaries, Brandon, and you say nothing. Now I know where I stand. It's great. It's messed up. Look at him. Hey, everybody watching this, I want you to know that I die, or if Jason dies- David did it. Then David did it. I haven't slept in two days. Why don't you sleep? I have to have someone come over tonight, babe. I'm sorry. I have to. Who are you having come over? You can sleep on the couch. I just need someone to sleep here tonight because, like, I can't sleep when I'm- I haven't slept alone in my apartment in, I don't even remember when. You don't sleep with people alone? I've never slept alone. You don't sleep in your apartment alone? Never. Why? Because you think someone's going to come kill you? Yeah, I get really paranoid. And, like, I literally haven't slept in two days, so I just feel like a zombie. Do I have a neighbor that comes to, like, just sleep on the couch? I mean- Sounds odd. Yeah, it's a strange paranoia. Who do you owe money to? You live here. It's fine. No one can get in here. I know. It's completely safe. Who are you going to have come sleep here? A neighbor down the hallway. A male? Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Is it weird? It's not weird for me, but if it's weird for you, I guess not. I just need to sleep. I'm going to have a girl come sleep at my place, too. You can have my mom sleep over at your place. Okay. Why don't you have your mom come? How about this? My dad would sleep over here, and my mom would sleep here. Oh, that's a good scenario. Who do you think would be most likely to hook up? I definitely wouldn't hook up with Brandon's mom, I'll tell you that much. What the f***, bro? What? Geez! Why wouldn't you hook up with my mom? Because. Boundaries. Boundaries? Yeah, I would never sleep with your mom. I would never do that. It's just so- It's so wrong. It's so gross. So gross. Yeah. I'd hook up with your mom. I wouldn't want you to. But, I mean, like, that's so much pressure to put on a person. To have sex with somebody? No, you're like, I can't sleep, and I can't sleep without you. I'm not putting that pressure on you. I'm just saying, like, I need someone to be over here tonight. I'm not putting that pressure on you. You're right, Trish. When you start dating somebody, all the fun goes away. Okay. Well, then maybe find someone who- I don't know what to do. I can't- I don't know what to tell you. I have my kids tonight. I don't know what to tell you. What do you want me to say? There's nothing to say. You know what it is? It's- I don't know, Ryan. No, go ahead. No. I like this s***. Go ahead. I'm taking notes. On my checkbook. Write myself a f***ing check. $50,000. No, what is it? Go ahead. Nothing. Trish, just go ahead. It's fine, bro. Say it. It's not even, like, not having sex for, like, okay, a few days. And I can barely last now. I can't sleep. I haven't had sex. And it's like, Jesus. Like- Jason. I used to have sex, like, five times a day. I'm saying, like, if it's, like, not the same, I don't know. Okay. Well, that's that. What's up, everybody? Please hit like and subscribe. Tweet me at Jason Nash. Instagram at Jason Nash. Today's shoutout is Tammy. Tammy! Thank you so much for watching. Guys, check out our podcast. It is on the iTunes and Spotify store. It's Friday here. And we are headed into the weekend. And, boys, anything to say? Jonah is the best. I'm going to say it right now. Jonah's the best. He told me I've been losing weight. The best at what? Everything. Have you ever seen him do anything? He's not always the best at anything. He's the best at sleeping. He's the best at napping. He's the best at taking a break. He's the best at relaxing. Those are the four same things. He's the best at laying down. Tell me. Look at that. That's crazy. Guys, we are also giving away a signed demonetized hoodie. Anyone who buys any of my merch in the next week will get this hoodie signed and sent out to them. Right, Joe? Yeah! So check out the merch, guys. And one lucky winner will win a signed demonetized hoodie by all of us. I love all of you. Thank you so much. Have a great weekend.