DREAMING OF CASEY NEISTAT!!

It just doesn't work. I just made it up. I'm going to f***ing kill Jason tonight. Are you going to do something to me tonight? I don't want you f***ing done to me while I'm asleep. I won't do it to you because I know how sensitive you are. That makes me believe that that's who you're going to do it to. Dude, I swear to God, don't you f***ing put fireworks in my room tonight. Don't you do it. I'm not going to talk to you ever again. Ever again. I mean it. Okay. I mean it. Don't. If you put fireworks in my f***ing house, I'm going to kill you. Okay. I mean it. Okay. Dude, I'm going to cut this and I'm going to be like, I want some fireworks. I got to go now. No, David. Jason, I can't. David, if you put fireworks in my f***ing house, I will cut all friendship with you. Done. I won't shoot with you anymore. No more podcasts. I'm out. Done. Okay. I understand you and I know what you're about. You're about a good piece of content. But I wouldn't be able to live anymore being around you. I can't live somewhere where people wake me up with fireworks. Okay. It's really, really. Joe? I don't agree with David. You agree with David? If you have a good piece of content, you're setting me up for it. You're setting me up for it. I just went out and f***ing drove to Glendale to prank a mom for you, for your channel. I feel like deep down inside right now. What? I feel like you're saying, because you're saying these weird things that would make a perfect video. And I feel like you're saying it on purpose because you secretly deep down want me to do it. Right? That's great. I'll be ready for it. I'm going to be up all night. And then tomorrow when you want to go prank an Armenian kid in Glendale, guess who's going to be in a bad mood and not in his game because he was up all night. You can't take water from both sides of the creek. Jesus Christ, Dad. Jesus. Why do you and Zayn have the same shoes? You had them first. I did. I was the trendsetter. Zayn just followed. And so you both get no girls? Yeah. Cool. Todd, this is outgoing mail. Should I put it in the mailbox? You keep bringing it back in. I didn't bring that back in. Scott did. I didn't touch the f***ing mail. Scott. Thank you. This is outgoing mail, sir. Why is it in our mailbox then? It's been brought back in the house 10 times. I'm trying to pay the government $20,000. Why are you paying the government? Because I owe them money. When there's an address up here in the corner, see the corner there? That's the address. That means it's outgoing. I've put it in there three times. I wish I was outgoing, to be honest. Very introverted. Do you think the mailman's actually going to take it? Or he's just going to throw the mail in and not notice that that is... The mailman is well-versed in outgoing mail coming out of the mailbox. It's a two-way thing. Did you not know this? No. Scotty, help me put this bolt on. Because I don't want David pranking me. You can put that in your blog. Yeah, that's funny. I should. I'll go put a bolt on the door. Absolutely. You can just say, I can't sleep at night. David just asked me if I wanted him to surprise me with something. It's sort of like Hitler asking you if he wants... No, I don't want you to surprise me. Josh hasn't seen my last vlog, so I just figured that maybe I could show him what it was all about. I like the way he asks. He's doing you the favor. I feel like we should do it. You know what I mean? Do you want him to do it? No, Jason! Yeah, no, I'm down to do it. You guys, I saw the vlog! I didn't. No, you didn't. This door is all messed up. Huh? Do you not know how to knock? Zane! Yes, this is my house. Everything out here is my house. This is what happens when you don't let me live with you guys. Is this where you and Heath live? Yeah. This is nice. Thanks, man. Holy ----. Why don't you show your address, too? This is a joke that Jerry Seinfeld told. It's a joke that only Jews would get. And he told it around someone who wasn't Jewish, and it was crazy. The Jewish people got it, and the non-Jewish people didn't get it. Okay, you ready? A Gentile businessman walks up to another Gentile businessman, and the first one says, How's business? And the second one says, Business is great! I get it. Isn't that great? God, I love that. I'm not even going to explain it. I'm going to see if people in the comments will get it. I want to make this a black-white thing. We always do that. I'm tired. Right on home skillet. Someone just put on some lotion. I just put some lotion on. It's not a black thing. Not at all. You've got lotion on, right? No. Wait, wait, no more black stuff. Hold on. No more black stuff. Okay. I mean it. We're just people. I have a question for you. Yes. Do you have a daughter? Yes. Would you be okay with her dating a black man? Yes. Yeah. Dom. Yeah, can I date your daughter? You can date his son. I want to do this. I want to rub lotion on you. I want to do what Casey Neistat's doing right now. Hey. This is not fair. Brandon? Jason. What? You're not going there. You're staying right here. No. Stay here and edit. Be in everybody's vlogs, okay? You're not leaving. No, I'm worth it. Jason, what would you even know what to do with all that cocktail? You'd be like a blind man at an iCloud store or something. You're just jealous that Todd and I could go, and he's so good looking. I might get laid too. Trust me, man. As good looking as Todd is, that's not enough. It's not enough for you. You're going to need way more than Todd. You're going to need Todd, Leo DiCaprio, Denzel Washington. Scott Syre. Top of the food chain. Are you talking about great actors? No, we're talking about going and doing what Casey Neistat's doing. We're talking about hot girls. Look, I'm doing this. That's Casey Neistat? Yeah. Look, he's going on a helicopter now. I don't know why he's in a tuxedo, but it's even cooler. You've never even been in a tuxedo. I have. Yeah, when? I actually know I haven't. I've never have. You boys get your vlog out yet? If you see that Jake Paul kid, don't talk to him. He's bad news, okay? But he's popular. I know he is, but you don't want to talk to him, okay? Am I right? Have fun, boys. Mom and Dad, how come you guys never kiss? Do you love each other anymore? Prove to us you love each other anymore. The love left a long time ago, Scott. At least give him a nice tug. That's great. The kids are going by. Good timing. We're a big part of the neighborhood here, and we love being here. Thank you for having us. Hi. Sorry, who are you? I'm Jason. Do you know where you are right now? No, I haven't for the last few months. I've been wandering around a shell of my former self. I go through days and days that just bleed one into the next, wondering when I'm going to get off this horrible, horrible train. Want you to know something? Yes? I'm your subconscious. I'm here to tell you, you've got to get out, man. You've got to leave. Just run. Because if you don't, if you don't run, there will be consequences. Nature. Nature blowback. Someone will die. And if you want that to be, then... I don't want to go work at Starbucks, though. Those are my options. Like Starbucks? That's where you would work? Yeah. All right, get back to editing. I would go work at Starbucks. You would? You would go work at Starbucks? What else would I do? Is that what this whole thing's for? It's just to get to Casey Neistat's book? In his helicopter. Does Casey know that you have this irrational obsession with him? Dude, I'm not obsessed with him. Yeah, you are. No, I'm not. I don't watch, like, every video. I'm just saying when I do watch it, I'm like, I like that idea of what he's doing. Like, I just want to be on a beach somewhere in France. That's what I want. It's not unhealthy. Don't put that out there that I'm, like, some Casey Neistat stalker. I'm not. I saw Casey at VidCon. I said, hey, what's up? That was it. Yeah, will the Casey Neistat posters in the merch in your room say otherwise? No, no, wait. Don't say that. I made one test Casey Neistat fidget spinner myself. Yeah, I know. And he's not selling those. That's just something I made for me. Is Christian in there? Dude, that's the full, like, third time. I can't. Hey, Scott. What's this? Mail? What happened? Peck on my desk. I didn't take it out. You didn't? I didn't. You did it as a joke? I didn't do it. It's really funny, though. He comes in my room. He's like, what the? And I come out. I'm like, Jason, I'm just kidding. He's like, it's email. I can't get rid of it. You're going to have to take it to the post office. I'm going to get scared. Yeah. That prank went much like Jason's life. Good idea before they executed. Simmer down, won't you love? I'm taking one for the team. We taking shots in the slob. You don't know where we can end up. Beat his bar, raise the bar for you. I hate your wardrobe in the winter. Don't you come around. Play, play, play games. I didn't think it would make such a mess. I mean, it's all good, Jason. It's coming right out. I can't even tell it was over there. Yeah, Jason. Shut up. What's up, everybody? Please hit like and subscribe. Tweet me, at Jason Nash. Instagram, at Jason Nash. Today's shout out is Joel. Joel. That's very nice of you, Joel. Oh, this is Todd's new serial killer character? Yes. Give me your best, best, best acting right now. I can't do that right now. You never loved me. You loved her. You told me you wanted me. I loved you. I didn't. I never stopped loving you, Todd. I gave you my butthole. You're scared. You're a weak human being. I have to go. I must go back to Orange County. Are you a serial killer for Orange County? You didn't say goodbye. You're right. I didn't say goodbye. Goodbye. See ya. Call me. I live with you.