MEET MY GOLDDIGGER GIRLFRIEND!!

I hate your driving, so why would you even ask? You always complain about it. Maybe just when I'm in the car. I feel like right now you'll get used to it. I'm not used to it. I'll never be used to putting my life at risk. I'm trying to help us out here, Jason. You don't want to be late to your meeting. You want to ruin this pretty face back here? It's impossible. It's made out of steel. You know what, Jason? What? I'm funny, okay? You could hurt my ******* talent, okay? The world doesn't need any more funny. You know what I'm saying? They need beauty. That's true. No, it's not that. People don't care about funny. What comes first in life? Good looks. Good looks. Why do you think this ************ has to work so hard? Houston! David, are you excited? Are you excited? No, I'm not excited. Right now, it's what? Midnight? We land at 6 AM. We won't get any sleep. It's going to be a hell hole. I came for no reason. Welcome to Houston! Jason, I'm going on a brand deal. Jason just came to tag along. Yeah, that's why I'm here. This is for Chuck Norris. Oh, you're just friends with Chuck Norris? Yeah, we're just going to hang out. I haven't seen him in a long time. Oh, man. That's so cool. You guys went to college together. Yeah, he's a hot guy. You ever throw down with him, like jiu-jitsu, Krav Maga? He isn't into jiu-jitsu, but... Me Too Taito? Me Too Taito he loves. You do Me Too Taito. Well, me and him sometimes do Pokey Pokey Talk. Oh, I've heard of that. That's intense. That's with all toes, right? You basically use your toes and you configure a bunch of different puzzles. I saw you crush a man's trachea with your toes once. On MTV? Yeah. I don't do that anymore. David is extra stressed with a blog to post tomorrow and not enough footage. He brought his trusty pal, Jason Nash, along. Who's really... Oh, f**k. Oh, f**k. Do I need it? Yes. I'll continue that bit later. Okay, David and I were goofing around doing Carmelita. We totally went the wrong way. And now we're late for the flight. Let's go, papi. Vlogging, YouTube. A lot of people are missing out on the true bonding experience that is content creator and content consumer. Are you excited? Well, get excited. Okay, so... Oh, um... Are you guys fans? Yes, I am a fan. I'm a fan. One of the many fans of what we're talking about, Magic Factory. It's like Willy Wonka. This is David Dobrik, one of the premier content creators on YouTube. David, why don't you say something to the camera? Can you f**k up? Oh, easy. You heard the word there. Funny? Sorry. It's okay. You're good. See, that's the kind of improvisation that happens here. You know, we're like a little groundlings, you know? Right, David? All right, he's a busy guy. So let's show you the rest of the house. What a bozo. Anyways, this is Matt King. He's one of the sweetest guys you'll ever meet. Matt, why don't you go ahead and say something to the camera? I can't be in this. What? I can't. You guys, you're not brand friendly. It's not good for me to associate with you guys. You should just email my manager. Get it out of my face! I didn't agree to this. Should we go? Give me one second. You are being a real piece of s**t. You are being a real entitled prick right now. First of all, watch your language. Second of all, brush your teeth, okay? I'm done here. Call my manager. So this is the bathroom. A lot of really great moments happen here. Particularly, this spot. Which is where they put Jason and covered him with cockroaches. Scorpions. Yeah, we had some scorpions on me. So this is where Jason lost all his dignity. So this is Scotty Sire. He's known as the happy sad guy in the vlogs. A real charming fella. Scotty, why don't you say something to the camera? I just took a huge s**t. Alright, so we're going to go ahead to the next room. This is Scotty's girlfriend, Kristen. She is up tall. Hey! We're just doing a little thing here. Doing a little tour. I literally worked all day. I'm exhausted right now. Can you guys get it the f**k out of my face? Kristen, she works a real job. I don't just sit around posting s**t all the time. Having fun. I actually have responsibilities. I'm tired, okay? What the f**k is that supposed to mean? You think what I do isn't a ******* job, babe? Huh? You want to sit here and lay down like a little, I worked all day, I'm tired. You don't really do anything, do you? You say, oh, I work. This is Joe, our business manager. Joe. Hey, buddy, buddy, buddy. I need you. I need some love in here. I'm making money, hand over fist. I don't give a s**t about these people. It's okay, Brandon. It's fine. We got some good stuff, I think. I can't eat you, brother. Get out of here. Get the f**k out of here. Yeah, there you go. Right now. Anyway, this Marine comes up to me. I shake their hand, take a picture, and then move on. He says, round kick them in the head. I said, I'll do better than that. I spun around, I got him in a choke hold. He got choked unconscious. He pulls to the ground, falls to the ground. Lucky Marine. All his buddies are taking pictures of him. How's the acting thing? It's a little frustrating sometimes. I go into auditions, they'll ask me my social media numbers, and I'm like, well, you know, I am Jason Nash's girlfriend. You don't say that, do you? No, I do. I say... Have you said that in an audition? I have, wholeheartedly. What do they say? Usually, who the f**k is that? Maybe we do that. Get into a relationship? Yeah. You and I? We don't have to like... Really, that's kind of like lying. I wouldn't call it lying. I'd call it performance art, really. I mean, half the internet already thinks you're my dad, so why not have the other half think that you're my boyfriend? Yeah, that's where it gets creepy. No, I think that that's where it gets really artistic. All my other girlfriends, I think, have been playing characters, because they were psychotic. At least you'll know with me. I'm here for the numbers. I'm here for the money. Wow, things are really bad, huh? Yeah. Yeah, 100%. I thought you came here to help. I am. We're at a grocery store, and I've got two children I need to feed. What are you going to do, carry it all? What do we need? What are you missing right now? A bucket? Does he need a fork? Skinny Pop. Two for six. Are you into anything like this? Muscle milk or powder? If I'm working out, I am, but I haven't done the Tony Horton thing for a little bit. I don't know anything about what kids eat. What about Slim Jims? They don't drink beer. What about O'Doul's? That's alcohol-free. You've got to get them started early, because otherwise they're going to go to college and drink an entire handle. Hey, David. Great job on Scott's wall. Okay, let me see. Okay, okay. Yeah, I thought that was going to be fixed. Yeah, that was pretty good. Kristen must love this when she gets up in the morning. She makes little comments about it all the time. She does? She gets home, she's like. I love that. Oh, that's what my ex-wife used to do. And rightfully so. Yeah, you had a nice thing going in here. I'm going to be honest, I don't really like this room that much. It's, like, spacious, but it's so far away from everything. It takes me, like, an hour to walk down the hall. One Mississippi, go. Three, two Mississippi. You're under four seconds. Look at how long we've been talking, and now I just got to, like, where everyone else is. All right, now we're walking back to my room. It's a long trek. You have a deep, deep-seated problem that needs to be seriously looked at by a clinical professional. Well. If you think that's too far. Okay, I walk out of the house, you know? Yeah. And I'm like, gosh, I forgot my wallet. It's in my room. It takes me so long to run back in here and grab my wallet. I want things to be convenient. Put the kitchen in here. Put the pots and pans in here and get a hot plate. See, what is this? Yeah, that's kind of like some weird UFC octagon going on there. Come this way. Okay. Well, do you want to trade rooms? No, this room sucks. When you start pulling in the air to make a burp, they get buried deep inside of you, and then it takes a couple seconds, and then they really come out in full force, and that's when you feel earthquakes in L.A. It's when my burps get buried in my body. Can you give us a sample? No pressure, dude. Art takes time. Oh, my God. That's pretty good. What's wrong with you? I'm trying to get paid. You don't cuss anymore. Being dirty, it's harder to be clean and funny than to be dirty and funny. I know, but you're not funny already. Just get it all out right now. Although Luke doesn't like cussing. That's probably going to come off really peaceful. It's just going to be like a moment of silence when he cusses, right? Does this upset you? That's a rat mouth. You guys are so cute together in your zines vlog. I want to say we have a brotherly relationship, but it's not brotherly. It's sisterly. Wait, who's older? I'm older, but I think he has the personality of the bigger sister. I'm the younger sister, but I'm better than you. Apparently, a big group of you guys are going to Thailand, but Zayn and Heath suddenly drop on me that they are going to Thailand. Not only we're going, everybody's going. Carly's going. Gabby's going. Aaron's going. Everybody's boyfriends and girlfriends are going except for Matt. I get this casual information from them that they go, everyone's going to Thailand. I'm like, oh, everyone's going to Thailand? They go, yeah. I go, oh. It takes a minute for him to invite himself. Yes. He gets really quiet, and Matt's just like, well, I mean, can I go? Heath and I are like, dude, I don't think there's any room for you, unfortunately. My heart just sinks. I feel like I'm sweating all down the underside of my arms, and I just like. If Heath and I were to just right now. Loving that. And they let this go on for a whole hour. After, I just felt bummed. I wanted to go home. I just wanted to crawl up in a ball and just reevaluate what I'm doing out here and who my friends are. Actually, I don't even think it went on for an hour. I think it went on for two days. Oh, no, no, no. It went on for a good amount of days. And then somebody just brought up in the group like, oh, yeah, we're going to Thailand. I'm like, I know. Zayn told me that he's going and stuff. And they're like, Zayn's not going to Thailand. Oh, so you're not going to Thailand. No. Oh. Jesus, Jason. I was going to say. I was like. We were so good that we made you believe we're going to Thailand. That's such a mind F. Yeah. Easy there, buddy. Is this actually deep in the bottom of your heart? This is how you feel about the differences of our work. They told me to say that. Oh, easy. You heard the word there, buddy. Sorry. It's OK. You're good. What's up, everybody? Please hit like and subscribe. Tweet me at Jason Nash. Instagram at Jason Nash. Today's shout out goes to Oma DM Ramuna. Oma DM Ramuna. And thank you so much. And I hope you enjoy the shout out. It's pretty great to get the shout out, apparently. Just want to say really quick. Monday's video, there were a lot of comments about the fans at Playlist being annoying. And there's nothing further than the truth than that. I love going to Playlist. I love seeing fans. I'm so grateful that anyone wants to take a picture with me. I spent probably like 20 years doing stand up and I didn't have an audience or anything like that. So the fans keep me going. The fans are everything to me. If you ever see me in public, please come up and ask for a picture. Don't be scared. I love it. Just don't come to our house. No, but I go to Playlist so I can take pictures with fans. And that goes for all of us, Scotty, David, Liza. We're all super appreciative. And that's it. And we love you guys. So please, if you read any of those comments, that's just not true. It may look annoying, but I actually really love it. So I love you guys. Have a great Friday. I'll be back on Monday with a new video. Also, check out my family channel. I have a new video there on Sunday. I don't have to post yet. Nice knees, man. You got good knees. Whoa. Yeah, your dad must have good knees.