I Want To Dump My Girlfriend But We Own a House Together

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. My girlfriend and I, we own a home and we're pretty much breaking up and I want to know what's the most fair way to split the net amount from the sale of the home. Are you both on the title? Yes. What about the mortgage? Yes. All right. What are you going to sell it for? We're going to sell it for about $625,000. We owe about $510,000 on it. And after closing costs and everything, we're thinking we can walk away with about $95,000. All right. And let's talk about who put in what. So who paid the down payment and how much? So we bought the home almost three years ago. The down payment was $40,000. I put in $35,000. She put in $5,000. Throughout the time that we've lived here, we've done renovations and we do keep our finances separate. But throughout the time that we've owned the home in the last couple of years, I've put in about $35,000, $36,000. On top of your $35,000? On top of my $35,000, yeah. And I know the answer, but we have to ask, how much has she put into renovations? Nothing. Okay. So you're obviously getting the money that you put into it back. She'll get the money she put into it back, and then you guys could split the rest. Well, on paper, George. Yes. On paper. So legally, I mean, legally, we own it 50-50, right? And she gives me a hard time. Then I'm not even going to argue it. I'm just going to say, you know what? Forget it. It is what it is, 50-50. But I just want to make sure that I'm not crazy because what I think it's fair, and that's the key word, is that I recoup my money. She recoups her money, which is $5,000. And whatever that difference is, we go down 50-50 on that. That's what I just said, right? Oh, sorry. I misunderstood. Yeah. So I did quick math, probably wrong, but I got $70,000 coming back to you, right? Correct. And $5,000 to her. And so if we walk away with $90,000, we got $15,000 to split. And so did I pick up you saying, if she gives me a hard time? So you've not talked to her about what we're going to do with the proceeds. Hey guys, George here with an important heads up. Mortgage interest rates just dropped, and that is great news if you've been But it also means a lot of other people are about to jump back into the market. And my good friends at Churchill Mortgage will give you a custom plan and a special offer so you can buy or refinance the smart way before the market shifts. So go check it out by going to churchillmortgage.com slash Ramsey Offer. That's churchillmortgage.com slash Ramsey Offer. So you've not talked to her about what we're going to do with the proceeds. We have not, no. Do you think it's going to be a shock to her? Or where is she at? Where do you think she's at mentally on this? I think from a mental standpoint, she's logical too. And I think deep down, she knows that's the first thing to do. But I think from an emotional standpoint, she'll give me a fight over that, quite honestly. Well, here we go. I gotta dig. I can't help myself. I'm like a moth to a flame. Who broke up with who? I'm breaking up with her. Yeah, that's problematic. I still think the numbers are right, but I'm just trying to keep it real. The audience in the lobby is with me. It's going to be a knockout, drag down fight on the way out. Were you a gentleman about it? Yes, we've gone to couples therapy. We've done, quite honestly, this has been ongoing for like three months or so, where I've been ready. Honestly, I've been ready to walk away for three months, but I've also been trying to work it out too. Are we officially done with therapy? The breakup is done. This is all finalized, yes? It will be pretty soon. What does the written agreement say if there is one? How do you just move on so quickly? Well, clearly it's over. It's not. He hasn't done it yet. Is that what I'm hearing? Correct. Is she listening to this call? I hope not. She's about to find out the hard way. I hope not. No, she's not. What's going to happen when you say, hey, it's over? Is she even going to be willing to sell the house? Because that's another part of this problem. Yeah. If I'm her, I'm going to go, I'm squatting. I'm not going anywhere. Why would you be like that out of just anger? When you're her, that's what you do. Yeah. I mean, she could, and I don't foresee that happening. I think in good faith, she's seen that I've been giving it a shot. To give you more details of our relationship, quite honestly, I was ready to propose to her like five months ago, six months ago. But I've seen a lot of changes in the last couple of months that made me change my mind to the point that it's like, I don't want to waste her time or my time. And we shouldn't even have bought this house in the first place. Well, that, that we all agree, not married. Wish you could have called us before, but you know, too little, too late. It's fine. Well, a little, a little too late, but, um, what do you call it? I think to give you more context, uh, she went to nursing school, uh, throughout the time, uh, throughout the last year. So, um, she's an RN now, uh, with no debt and I took over. We were pretty much 50, 50 on our bills for the most part. We never, not to the nickel, but for the most part, right. The bigger bills. Um, and I sustained our household too throughout that time. So I think, I think she's logical and I think she's fair. So to going back to the point of it, she gives me a hard time of not wanting to sell and all that stuff. I really don't see that. I don't think it would be a nasty breakup, but I mean, but if it comes down to it, honestly, I make, I make decent money and you want to play that game. Go for it. Let's go. We'll take it to judge Judy. We'll let her handle it. Wow. This just went from like, you just went from, Hey, if she gives me a hard time, I fold 50, 50 to now you're like, let's go pony up with some lawyers. I don't know where this is going, John. Here's the deal. Uh, appreciate you telling us this. Here's, here's my advice on this one. I absolutely believe that you ought to put out what you think is fair. Uh, how you choose to debate that. I'm not going to get in the middle of that. Uh, hope it's not ugly, but I do think you should say, uh, Hey, but I wouldn't do it right away because you've been in counseling and you shared with us. I love that you shared it, but for three months, you've been checked out and she's gotta be either blindsided or just knows that this is coming. I don't know which way it's going to go. When the breakup is done and you got to give that a little space, George is what I'm recommending and then say, we need to sell the house. And here's how I think it ought to go. Uh, and maybe a good idea for you to get a session with your therapist. Who's been counseling the two of you and maybe get some advice on how to, how to maybe play this thing out because that person hopefully has been very, very objective in sitting with the two of you and might be able to help that. That would be the ultimate ideal way to handle it. George, what do you add? What do you do? Well, I mean, assuming all of that goes decently well, then it becomes how are we going to split this? And I just want to know, do you have things documented your contributions as they're written agreement? All of that? No, no. If she wants to play hardball, I don't have a legally, I don't have like to stand on. And if she wants to play hard and we would have to split a 50 50 and I'm under that. That's a handshake agreement that we would split a 50 50. And what does 50 50 mean based on contributions? Because you never talked about that and it's not written. Well, sorry. I guess what I'm saying is going back to your question of, do I have anything written as far as how much I put down, how much I put into renovations? No. And no, I don't. If she wants to play hardball from the net proceeds from the sale of the home, I don't have a leg to stand on. And my best case scenario is at that point, we'll split it 50 50. From the net proceeds. And I'm probably out 20, 25,000. I mean, I would start collecting some receipts of the, you know, the con the labor I paid and all. I mean, you can't just give up now. Yeah, I agree. I wouldn't leave 70 grand on the table. And I'd be real nice. I mean, real nice and breaking up with her. Yikes. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.