Kevin Hart being the Funniest Person in the Room for 16 Minutes | Funny Compilation

What did you perform at? You performed at a seafood festival? I mean, what ---- show do you want to know about? I had a crab fest. A crab fest? What is that? In the beginning of stand-up comedy, you're not performing in luxury venues. Wherever they feel that they can build the stage and make money is where you're going. So there was a crab fest. We're going to book some talent. Some comedian talent. And I was like, alright, well, you know, I'm available. I don't know if you guys have ever tried to tell a joke while people are cracking crabs. It's not the best environment. I mean, literally, the frustration that comes from not being able to open a crab facility. And you're not funny at the same time. The stuff that you hear. I remember hearing a woman, an older lady, who was like, she was cracking crabs. Because this is how you crack crabs. You know what I mean? She's like cracking a crab. And I tell a joke and the joke doesn't work. And I remember this lady just going, oh no. I don't think, I would much rather be booed. The disappointment that came from her voice in this, oh no. She said, baby. It was like, oh no, baby. As if I made a mistake with my choice of life. Like I'm not doing it wrong. I was hit in the face with a buffalo wing. I performed at a... Don't perform around food. When we go to my shows now, there's no food allowed. It was actually a male strip club that they shut down for comedy for the first half. It was ladies in there and it was just supposed to be us performing for these women that were riled up. First thing I got on stage when they introduced me and this lady was like, pull it out. I said, hey, hey. That's not me. I'm not here for that. I'm here to entertain. These are jokes. I know who's got kids. I started trying to merge into kid material. And this one dude from the back, I just remember this dude from the back. He was like, that's enough. And he just threw a buffalo wing at me. It landed. Hit me in the cheek. A little bit of sauce got like right here. Buffalo sauce is hot. I assumed that it was a woman with a deep voice. So I was like, who threw it? Who threw it? Because at the end of the day, I'm a man. I'm a man first. Don't disrespect me. He stood up. He was like, I did it. And I contemplated just taking my clothes off. You know what? My family man is the best. I got a great support group. My brother make me laugh though. My brother, I call him King Negative. No matter how great something is, my brother finds a negative in it. I've never seen anything like it. I just bought land. And I'm like, yo man, instead of going out looking for a house, I bought land. I'm just going to build a house. He was like, good luck. You got no experience. I'm not physically building a house. That's his thing. In his mind, he's real. I don't care what it is. It's the most negative thing I've ever seen in my life. I've called my brother. Hey, Ken, yo, number one in the box office. Yeah, domestic. You didn't get released. What are you talking? Like, dude, let me enjoy this. I'm just giving it to you real. What is your problem? It's just nonstop. I'm like, I love you to death. But it never fails. I don't care what it is. For you, speaking of yourself, you said, it's hard for you not to look amazing. That's very true. And I will say, you look fantastic. It's like, honestly, it looks like somebody drew me. It's like perfect. You brought your kids back to Philadelphia. Yes. But not for, like, Kevin Hart Day. You brought them back to where you're from. Yeah, yeah. To teach a lesson. Was it impressive? Why did you bring them back? Well, you know, parenting is something that I take pride in. You know, I want to make sure that my kids understand the value of hard work and what the meaning behind it should be. I want to take you to where dad is from. So we take a trip. You know, we take a real trip to Philadelphia. And, you know, we land, and I said, I'm going to show you where I grew up so you can understand. You land in your private jet. Yeah. Life lesson. Listen, every lesson has a moment of disbelief. Just follow me for a second. I'm with you, I'm with you. I'm right. The lesson didn't start until we got off the plane. Yeah, duh. We got in the car and started driving through the neighborhood where I was from. Then that's where the lesson started. Where are you from? So we pull up to my place, and I give this long speech. It's like a moment. It's like 7 a.m., I got there when nobody would be there. I'm like, look, I didn't have, okay? Look, this is the grass. See this little thing? It's all the grass we had. I had to film the step. I waited for the bus here. I walked two and a half miles to get from here to where I had to go to meet my mom. This was not a situation that you were comfortable in. And I get done, and my kids are like, we want to live. No, no, no, no. This place is a piece of ----. I'm trying to show you what we have. It's nice, but you got to work for it. We don't want to go home. He's like, let us go upstairs. I literally had to stop the lesson. The trip to Philadelphia is short. Let's just go back home. I'm just going to show you books from now on. That's a DJ. I'm trying. This is why I need therapy. I hate that I'm standing right next to the stove. That's what I hate. There's no way for me to say I was a big child or nothing. Everything is right here. It's the perspective. It's really bad. He's not real. Are you a champion? From Idaho? Yes. USA. Stop it. I'm not looking at that. I'm married. What are you doing? I'm just admiring. This was shot in Hawaii. All the jungles in Hawaii, which you loved. Were you born in Hawaii? I wasn't born in Hawaii. I was born in San Francisco, but I did a lot of my growing up there. I thought you were born there. I don't know. I don't think. You told me. I've known you for years. I've always said I was born in San Francisco. When we were there, you gave me a big speech like, this is my land. You don't have to say that. Now, all of a sudden, San Fran. It was San Fran that I transferred. When we were there, you gave me a very spiritual speech about how it all started. How your mother held you over this cliff. This is a cliff where I was born and my mother gave it to me. This is the problem. I'm going to go the opposite. The opposite route. Here's my thing. So many people want to change. People want to do what you're supposed to do. Everybody's lactose intolerant says, you know what? I'm lactose intolerant and I can't. Here's my feeling. You get one life. And if you want to blow your ass. You get one life. It's all said and done. Go out saying I drank milk because I loved it. Did Kevin Hart go to Temple? I'm assuming that you're talking about Temple University in Philadelphia, PA. Yes. I went there twice to perform. There's no weapon. You would get your hand. Stop it. I can buy the toolbox. Yeah, it's OK. You don't got to open up that toolbox. Jesus Christ. How you doing, brother? I always say brother when I see a black guy. I don't know if that's good or bad. I just say I've always done it. Do you even know why you have such amazing calves? No. God did it. Yeah. I didn't do it. It's almost like you're cursed. The way you said that was like, oh, God. Why? I don't want to be perfect. I said that. You've yelled that into the sky before? I've said that to God several times. Listen. Let me educate you on something. Black people are notorious for picking things that they saw one day and say, that's my baby name. That's all that was. Grandma was nothing. There's no amazing story behind it. I would love to tell you, yes, it actually came from my Irish forefather that did it. That's not the case. Mother was reading the paper and she was eating some cereal. And somebody in the back said, oh, Shay. She said, that'd be a good name. And that's it. That's how it happened. That's it. Kids are really good skiers. And I was going to say because they have less to fall. But you would also. I mean, right? I mean, that's. We have played this game before. And I won. Yeah, you did. But why did you want to rematch? You know why I wanted to rematch. I wanted to rematch because you gave me a white hand last time. No, I'm very serious. I'm not playing around. I know. You invited me to play the game and I get here and you gave me a giant white hand. All the complaints that God's getting from people. And that's your complaint. This is mine. Yeah, these calves. One day this lady was like, your calves are amazing. And I was like. Talk to you later, God. You know what? I can't. I can't believe. I do need to hear it more. You look great. Thank you, Kevin. Do you ever encounter people? You're like, you look. No, no, no. I tell them. David, do you have a bucket list? I want to learn how to belly dance. You think you can help me with that, honey? Yes. And it's safe. It's safe. No sharks. Can I just say? That's a very. Not a very ambitious bucket list. You haven't seen my belly. Wait. She's grown up, though. Oh. We've lost Kevin. Is there anything on your bucket list, Kevin? I don't like to help death. No. I know death is coming. I'm not. I'm not going to speed it up. You met him when he was the president. Yes. Yes, I did. You know, I call him a BO. BO. Personal relationship. No, I did meet him. And it was funny. I go to the White House. And the same thing. He wasn't supposed to be there. And we go and they say he might. And he comes out. And I'm with my wife. This is actually a very, very big moment for me in my marriage. Because we're sitting together. And he comes out. Oh, he's coming. Like, that's him. So we like move up. So we can be at the front. Because he gives his speeches around the holidays. And he sees me. And he goes, Kevin Hart, thank you for making time for me. And coming to the White House. Love you. We love you. And I said, you got to be kidding. He looked at me. And I had to play it so cool. I turned to my wife. I said, but you want to give me ---- in the house. And it was so good. It was so good. It was so cool. Like she couldn't say nothing. She was just looking at me like, I'm going to chill. This was my Robert De Niro. I held it the whole time. Now, here's what pissed me off. When I was done that impression, nobody in the room clapped. Which I felt like that was racist. I mean, it was really racist. I said, okay guys, here it goes. This is my impression of Denzel Washington. So I held my hands like this. And I was like, training day, bitch. I'm dead serious. That was my impression. And I found out that that wasn't even a line. He kept talking about, we was like, yo, the way that you wear your jeans. They're like so fitted. They're so small. Like whenever you walk, it's like petite, like put together. But it's like something's mysterious about it. And we was like, y'all don't know how much we mess with him. The way he walks. We was like, Conor, man. You gotta, you gotta. There's nothing wrong with the way. This is my good friend, Nicole Kidman. This became a meme. This almost ended Nicole. You see this right here? Right here. Because she can't clap? Yes. Well, they just, they caught her in the bag, clap. It was the middle of a clap. And they saw that she had boomerangs for hands. Right there. You don't want to do that. So you gotta relax. That wouldn't happen if it was a relaxed moment. That's what I love the most about working with Cube. You know, he started off as the guy that you assume was angry because he never moved his lip. His top lip is always straight. All day. That's his lip. All day. Cube, you want to eat? Maybe. I thought that was very good. I thought you did great. The beach. You just gotta get out here early. You gotta get out here before the ---- hit. Shit hit the fan in Venice. Okay. You know, I had one guy where I was running, actually throw his own ---- at me. That's a true story, Jay. Sir, we want you to draw a picture of us. But we'd like it to be quite low key that we're here. We don't want anyone to know that we're here. Don't draw any attention to the fact that you're drawing a picture of us. Is that okay? Is that cool? I'm not getting out of my car unless you promise to keep this on the low. I appreciate that. Listen, normally I would pay for this, but because of my success level, I feel like I shouldn't have to. That's how the rich stay rich. We just take the ----. Absolutely. Thank you so much, man. It's what? What's your name again? Feet. Ghalia. Here's the best way to get you over your fear of feet. You can't take steps in life without feet. Your fear is prohibiting you from progression. The minute that you can look at feet and understand that feet are simply what move you forward, you will put your fear behind. Yes! Thank you. There you go. That's good. It's a fear of life. That therapy of yours was like medication. Yeah. Okay, let's go.