Friends With Benefits [How to Get One - A Woman’s Perspective]

All right, so good for you, you figured out exactly what it is that you were looking for. Now let's go over how we can go about finding that for you. Hey, welcome to Online For Love, your number one resource for dating by the numbers. Today we're going to be going over the top tips on how to initiate a friends with benefits situation. Before we dive into all the tips though, you should definitely make sure that you are sending out the correct first messages in order to get what it is that you were actually looking for. And the best way to go about this is to check out our free online dating opener formula. So this is actually going to triple your response rates and it's going to help you know exactly what to send out to people on different dating apps and dating sites. So do not forget to check that out, it's completely free, linked above me and in the description down below. Also, in order to find a friends with benefits situation, you have to make sure that you are even on the right dating site for that. So that's why you should definitely go ahead and take our free online dating app quiz. This will pair you with your perfect online dating site or dating app. It's quick, fun, easy, and totally free. It's linked above me and in the description down below. Go ahead and take the quiz and comment back here and comment below your results are because we would love to know. But all right, let's go ahead and jump into this video. So friends with benefits, that's what you're looking for, right? But if you don't know actually, friends with benefits is basically a sort of situation where two people have a non-committal thing where they can hook up and not have any of the responsibilities or pressures of an actual relationship. So you are literally a friend with benefit of having hookups when you would like to. There are a million different variations of this type of setup and relationship. Some people are actually friends before and they turn into friends with benefits. Some people go out seeking this specifically on different dating sites and dating apps. Some people have different rules when it comes to their friends with benefits situations. You know, some friends with benefits keep any feelings or talking out of it. Some are actual friends and that's all allowed and that's totally cool. So the details are really up to you, but the main premise is it's not a real relationship. It's just friendship also with sex fixed in. So the first important step in finding a friends with benefits relationship is to actually find someone. So there are many different routes that you can take in order to find someone who might be interested in this friends with benefits situation with you. One of the easiest and most obvious ways probably is to actually use online dating sites or dating apps. And the really good thing is that depending on the site or app that you use, it can really help you find someone who is automatically going to be interested in the same sort of thing. And you can narrow it down even further by writing about in your profile what it is that you were looking for or sending different signals like answering questions that explain what you're looking for. Online dating really gives you a leg up and explaining right off the bat what it is that you are looking for and only finding people who are interested in that as well. Now of course if you are looking for a friends with benefits situation, you might look around at your actual friends and see which one of them might be up for it with you. This can be tricky though however, especially depending on the relationship that you already have with them. If you have been really good friends with a female friend of yours for a long time and out of the blue you guys have never had any maybe chemistry or talked about anything sexual before but now you're just bringing up this friends with benefits situation to your good friend, she might be very upset actually because she might start to wonder if this whole time have you actually even been friends or were you just hoping that it would turn into this. So tread carefully and really use your intuition here and social cues on who might be interested in something like this and who just wouldn't be and try not to choose people who you have been friends with for forever. Maybe just keep those as your actual friends, you might find less success with them because they already view you so much as their platonic friend. The best candidate is maybe someone who is a newer friend of yours, someone who you have flirted with a little bit in the past, someone who you sort of have tongue-in-cheek conversation with, someone who could be receptive to this offer and what you want to do is maybe bring it up in an organic way. Don't be pushy, don't be creepy, don't harp on it if they're not interested and go for it if you feel like it's the right person. Also just know if you do choose to actually hook up with an established friend that you already know, you do run the risk of things being awkward or the friendship possibly being ruined after you're done with the situationship that you are going to put yourself in so just make sure that you are okay with that. Maybe don't start this with people who you really value their friendship and would be devastated if it ended because there is always the risk with that when you know more things are involved. Before we move on to the next tip, if you are enjoying this video so far please make sure to give it a thumbs up and to subscribe to the channel so it really helps us out when you give our videos a thumbs up because that shows YouTube that people are enjoying our content so then YouTube pushes our videos out for more people to see so we would really appreciate your thumbs up and your subscriptions. Now let's go ahead on to the next tip. So you do have to communicate. I know this isn't a real relationship and the point of this is to avoid all those responsibilities but a friend with benefits is a relationship of some sort. It's not a long-term monogamous committed thing but it is a relationship. Anything you have with another human is a relationship of some sort and so it does require at least some minimal communication. This can really help you have the whole thing go smoothly or it could really break it if you don't do this. So you need to communicate about what you are expecting out of this situation. What is it going to look like for you? If you want to have a situation where you guys can hang out even if you are not going to hook up, if you can you know the morning after go and spend the day together pumpkin picking and getting coffee and that's totally fine and you still won't develop feelings and you still will not be going towards a relationship then that works for you then that's totally fine. Or if you want to say hey I don't want feelings to grow here so we're going to keep it cut and dry just come over for that one purpose and then leave. Things like that whatever whatever is going to work for you but you have to communicate that and this communication can really save yourself or that person from major heartache because even if you feel like you've been super clear to them about what you were looking for they might not feel the same way so you need to clearly communicate that you were looking only for a friends with benefits situation because you do run the risk of leading them on if you don't make this abundantly unmistakably clear because you know emotions do tend to tangle themselves in with these things when you are talking to someone very often you know having you know relations with them feelings can come up and if you don't establish your intentions they could just assume that you're on the same page and then next thing you know you're having a big emotional thing because they thought you were heading towards a relationship when you didn't think you were at all. Basically you cannot just rely on subtext there are some things that do need to be spoken and agreed upon and worked out in order for this to work out. Question of the day do you think that friends with benefits relationships can happen without either person catching feelings or do you think that it's inevitable that at least one party will catch feelings? Leave your comments, your questions, your experiences, your opinions all down below we'd love to hear from you. Let's talk about the next tip which is to be sure that this is what you actually want. So a lot of the times people are looking for friends with benefits but they actually want something a little bit deeper they want that connection they want someone to maybe be their friends of benefit but only their friends with benefits meaning they are not actually wanting that person to be with other people or are you sure that you can handle the intimacy the emotional and physical intimacy that friends of benefits actually provides you with without um wanting to have something more with that person or are you sure that this isn't a bit too much for you do you want something that's even less personal maybe you could opt for just plain hookups with random people if you want it even less personal or maybe you could actually shoot for a relationship if you realize that's what you're looking for but you have to be certain this is what you want because otherwise you could end up with a very broken heart or very upset or vice versa that other person could be because if you think you want a friends with benefits relationship and then you get into it and you realize hey I really like this I wish this person would stay over more and more I wish I could talk to them every single day I wish I could tell them my feelings we could go on dates and all of a sudden you're like oh man I actually really wanted a relationship all this time and now I'm in this friends of benefits with this person I'm in love with and they don't love me back because that's not what we agreed upon and that can and does happen so you have to really look inside yourself and think about is this what I really want or maybe it's possible that you even just wanted a friend all along to hang out with and talk to so again be introspective think about what you actually want if you can handle this type of relationship and if that's what's going to be what's best for you what will be best for you is to download our secret online dating opener formula which is going to give you three times as many responses to your first messages on a host of different dating apps and dating sites so do not forget to check that out it's going to be linked above me and in the description down below so our next tip is to not lead that other person on so you might end up finding yourself having a difficult time actually establishing a friends with benefits relationship and you feel like the only way that you can let this happen is if you are a little bit ambiguous with your goals and you let it happen without actually clearly defining what it is that you are wanting to happen the next thing you know that person is actually led on they think that your intentions are more towards relationships because maybe you've sort of hinted at that and then they end up with a broken heart and that is horrible all around so you do not want to lead them on intentionally or otherwise so be careful with what it is that you are doing if that person really can't handle the emotional intimacy of hooking up and then spending days together and dates and you know talking all the time if they are really getting attached after that which is only natural but you somehow are not or whatever it's best to just maybe cut back on that activity if you want to continue that purely friends with benefits no strings attached relationship before they get too attached and it just goes up in flames and you must be prepared for things to end if it does feel like it's getting too serious for them and they know that you are not looking for the same thing so do not lead them on and be prepared for things to end if need be if you haven't already please make sure to like and subscribe now finally let's talk about the last tip which is you need to explain to your potential friends with benefits partner why you would make a good one why should they choose you why should they join in on this arrangement so if you are asking this of a woman and you are a man of course you probably already know how many offers women are getting all the time for friends of benefits type of situations for no strings attached situations for anything women are getting so many offers especially in so what makes you stand out why should they go with you what are they going to benefit from this because if you were looking for someone to basically you know just take care of your needs when you don't care about theirs then what is the point for anyone to do this you're going to have a very hard time finding that what will make it worth it to them you know you have to make sure you're giving equal amounts of energy maybe in the emotional support of the friendship part if that's what you and they are looking for in driving to each other's places and making this work you have to show that you are a good candidate that you are emotionally stable and can handle it that you are also a nice person that they can actually be your true friend as well what makes this worthwhile for them the whole point of friends with benefits is that it does benefit both friends so make sure that you are offering those benefits and tell people but that is going to just about wrap up this video i hope that you enjoyed it do not forget to check out our free online dating opener formula which is going to be linked above me and in the description down below to triple your response rates on first messages sent to women on a host of different dating apps and dating sites also do not forget to check out our free online dating app quiz which will also be linked above me and in the description down below this quiz will pair you with your perfect online dating site or dating app it's quick fun easy totally free so do not forget to go take that quiz also now that you're just about done with this video make sure to check out some of our other ones popping up on either side of me and don't forget to answer the question of the day do you think that friends with benefits can go off without a hitch without anyone catching feelings or do you think that somebody in that relationship is doomed to catch feelings leave your opinions your comments all things down below we love to hear from you but thank you so much for watching this video i hope that you enjoyed it please leave a like if you liked it and subscribe if you loved it and hopefully we'll see you here again online for love thanks bye