How to Have Work-Life Balance

What do you think of the phrase work-life balance? Oh, I hate that term. You know why I hate that term? Hey, get to the point, would ya? I hate it. And I hate it because it's a setup. It's a setup for failure. It's a setup for people to feel anxious that they're not able to get work-life balance. And it is a myth because work and life, number one, goes hand in hand, right? Work is part of life. However, even outside of work, it's never a 50-50 balance. It can never be a 50-50 balance. So it's a myth because it sets us up to strive for something that is unreachable like that unicorn. Yeah. What would you call it instead? I would call it life awareness, life boundaries. It's important to realize that because work is part of life, that we need to have more of an awareness of our lives. And what that means is taking inventory of what your commitments are. I help my patients come up with a timeline, and we do this annual timeline of what responsibilities they know they have throughout the year. And this is very common for most of us during the holidays, right? So most of us, when it comes to November, we're all a little bit nervous and anxious and trying to keep things on the down low and not overwhelm ourselves with other tasks unrelated to the holidays. But the reality is we all have responsibilities throughout the year. And it's important to be aware of what those responsibilities are, what those commitments are. I know as a working mom that I have commitments to my children, I have commitments to my work, and certain times of the year, I'm going to need to devote more time to work than to children. And other times, like the summertime that's happening, I'm going to need to devote more time to my children. And having that awareness will help you to be able to schedule your commitments more realistically. So having life awareness, or if you really want to add work to it, work-life awareness will help you to schedule appropriately, realistically, so that you have these realistic expectations. And let me just say, I don't think we realize often enough that many of us believe we procrastinate, or we believe we're not doing enough, or we're not catching up with the work that we have, the commitments that we have. I don't think that's a problem. I think the problem is that we aren't scheduling our priorities adequately. And I say that because, you know, the reality is we only have 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week, which is not a lot of time when you think about it. Especially if you're considering taking time for sleep, I hope you're prioritizing sleep, right? Taking time for meals, I hope you're prioritizing meals, and taking time for all of the daily activities that we need to do just because they're part of living. And then what's left over is not that much time. And if you're scheduling adequately, it means fitting your priorities, getting your priorities straight, and then fitting them into what realistic time remains available to you. And if you're able to do that, then perhaps you'll be more equipped at achieving work and life satisfaction. Well said, Dr. Yeo. How do we create these boundaries so that we can have a more balanced life, if that is even the phrase I'm going to start using? Sure. Balanced life. As long as we're not using work-life balance, you know, I'm going to strangle the next person I hear that from. You know, boundaries is super important for all of us to maintain. And I feel like a lot of people think of boundaries as like just distance or, you know, like you're putting like a guard between you and other people. And boundaries doesn't just exist between you and another person, or you and other situations or places. It exists emotionally, it exists socially, it exists mentally, and more important, it also exists within yourself. I don't know if you realize that you need to have boundaries even within yourself. So when was the last time that you recognized that you had some negative self-talk about something that might not be going well, or something that you're concerned about and worried about, and that led to some not great feelings? Yeah, all the time. We all have it. Today, you want me to tell you how many times? I mean, come on. Yeah, all the time. But here's the thing is having boundaries within yourself means also recognizing when that negative self-talk occurs, and then making a choice, right? Because we all make choices. It's making a choice to discard those negative self-talk because it's not helpful. It's not helpful for you, it's not helpful for other people or situations, because when you have those negative self-comments, it trickles down to all areas of your life, not just within yourself. It also affects how you respond to other people, how you respond to your responsibilities and your commitments. So having boundaries within yourself also means when you're scheduling, making sure that you're scheduling me time, making sure that you're scheduling time for yourself to just be. And me time is not just going to the spa. You know, I think a lot of people think of self-care time as like this huge ordeal of going to the spa and, you know, going on a vacation. No, me time can be simply as waking up in the morning and having five minutes of uninterrupted time to yourself so that you can have a cup of coffee and not have to worry about work or kids or family or any other obligations. Having boundaries for yourself also means disconnecting when it's time to disconnect. So in that schedule of yours, when you have finished with your workday, it means finish with your workday, right? We are so connected now that we have this like expectation that when we send out an email that the person has to respond right away or the person has to, you know, respond to a text right away. No, let's go back. Let's go back to the olden days before technology and cell phones have become so advanced and we're all just tethered to it, like we're in chains with our cell phones. You know, when you disconnect and you put boundaries on that, it means that you're prioritizing your mental health and your need to replenish your fuel, your oxygen. And if you're not replenishing, then yeah, you're not balanced. I'm going to push back a little bit because I can already feel a viewer pushing back saying that's so nice and I would love to shut off my phone at the end of my workday, but my boss expects me to answer. My boss expects me to be available and I love being able to pay my bills every week. So I need this job and I'm going to answer period. So yes, that is true. And that is because we have evolved to this current culture. That was not the case 20, 30, 40 years ago, right? Back in the days when you leave your workplace, the only way that someone could reach you is if they called you on your landline at home or they came. I know, but this person's living today and they hear this and they think that this isn't, I can't do that. That sounds nice. I would love to have a break. You are right. But why are we tolerating that? Why are we accepting that as the current status quo? It doesn't have to be that way, right? So having some honest communications with your employer, with your supervisor, with your team leader is important, right? And if you value time with your family, if you value time to do the things that are meaningful in your life, and of course work is one of those things, but work cannot be the only thing, then you have to establish those boundaries to commit to those times. And what that means is letting your employer know that you can only be on during certain times and hopefully with the current state in our world where there's a great resonation happening, that we will make these changes to promoting a more healthy, balanced workplace that prioritizes people's wellbeing. So have a conversation. Do it. Hey, you can have it after work hours at seven o'clock. Call your boss. We got to talk about this. Okay. Dr. Yip, any final thoughts on life? What do you call it again? Life integration, work-life integration? I just call it life awareness and boundaries. Life awareness, LA. That's the LA method by Dr. Yip. Any final thoughts on life awareness? I think it's really important to just make sure that you know what you're responsible for, plan ahead so that you can be prepared, have clear communications about what your week is going to be like with your family members so that there are no mishaps and the week goes smoothly, and then maintain those firm boundaries, especially when it comes to having clear communications with your work leaders and colleagues as well of where those boundaries are. Excellent. Thank you, Dr. Yip. Thank you for watching. Remember, whatever you're going through, you got this.