Joe Dirt Finally Finds His Parents… But It Goes Wrong _ David Spade _ Joe Dirt

Your parents are alive after all? Joe! Joe! How are you feeling? Mom, Dad, is that you? Our baby's home. Damn, we tried so hard to find him. We looked high and low. I got some pictures here. Oh, and look at this. Here's a picture of Joe when he was a baby. Do you get it? Yeah. Oh, baby. You were a cute baby, Joe Durden. That's why we were so crazy when we lost him. I mean, he's here and now he's gone. Where'd he go? I was at the canyon. Yeah, you know what? It was right by the garbage can where you left me. Is that where you were? I'll be damned. The one place we didn't look. I knew you looked for me. I told everybody you would. And was there ever a time when you would look at the moon and was hoping maybe I was looking at it too? Oh, I want you to know that I've been doing this clown sort of a thing. Can everybody get a shot of these? Do you see these clown figurines? Whenever I used to get sad, I'd just look at a clown and then I just can't help it. I just can't stop grinning. They're available for purchase. We're starting this clown.com kind of thing. I don't mean to interrupt your clown pitch there, but how exactly do you not go right back to the place where you saw me? Hey, how exactly is a rainbow made? How exactly does the sun set? How exactly does the positrack rear end on a Plymouth work? It just does. I'm not talking about positrack. I'm talking about me. How long did you look for me before you gave up? How long were you riding in that car before you realized I wasn't in it? Exactly how long? All right. We didn't lose it. We just left it. So what? The dude's doing fine. Look at him. How could you do that to me? I was only eight years old. I was just a little kid. Do you have any idea what it's like to be a kid and have nobody around to talk to? No one that cares if you're alive or dead? Every day you just think you're worthless and there's a void in your life? Oh, come on, honey. Lighten up, buddy. Lose that frown. When you're down, stare at a clown. That's right. Hey, sit down. You're blocking the camera. The camera can't see you. I don't care about that. I don't care. I don't want to see it for another 25 years. Hey, you're grounded. You're grounded. This bridge, where local celebrity Joe Dirk is threatening to kill himself. Come on, Joe. Remember what you said on the show? Life's a garden. Dig it. Gotta get down from there, brother. You don't want to do this. Why not, man? I got nothing. I've been looking forever for those people and everyone lies to me, man. Worthless. Joe! Joe! Hey, sorry, lady. You can't cut through here. Joe! Brandy! What, it's Brandy? Like the Brandy? Yes. Okay, why didn't you say so? Come on. Hey, everybody. Brandy's here. Hey, it's Brandy. Look, over there. It's her. Brandy? I'm here, Joe. You told me my parents were dead. And I saw them. They're horrible. Why did you lie to me? They saw you on the news when you saved those kids. They thought you got a reward. So you did see them first, so it's just like Robbie said. Yes, but once I met them, I knew I had to protect you from them. They're bad people. You're not like them, Joe. They didn't leave you. You left them. You've got to see that. And Joe, if you had stayed with them, you wouldn't have turned out as wonderful as you are. Robbie said you don't want me around, and he said you were always laughing at me behind my back. Why would Robbie say such a thing? Of course that's not true. I love you, Joe. With all my heart. I want to get married, Joe, and have little Joe Dirtz. Come home, Joe. You had a home all along. He just couldn't see it. You really love me?