First Date Ideas : Where to Take Her and What to Avoid

Welcome to another session of Speak Your Soul Sessions. This is Slept On Shea. And today we're going to talk about first date ideas. And this specific session is geared towards the men. So these are first date ideas of where you should take a woman, where you shouldn't take a woman. And I'll even talk about things that you can do before the big day, before the wonderful date to make things less awkward, to feel more comfortable. And I'll talk about my real unfiltered thoughts on coffee dates. I would say that I'm late to the train talking about first dates, but I feel like the concept of where you should take a person or where you should go for a first date always resurfaces on social media. And so yeah, let's get into it. And also look at here, I have to say this, okay? If you do not want to spend 30 to $50, maybe $60 top for a date, please, please eject yourself out of the dating market. Okay, okay. Like if you are cheap in a tight one, just beyond reason, please stay home. Please, please stop dating people. All right. So let's get into it. ♪ Speak your soul, speak your soul ♪ ♪ Just let it go, let it go, let it go ♪ ♪ Speak your soul, speak your soul, your soul ♪ ♪ Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow ♪ Okay, so before the big day, what you can do regardless of if you met the woman in person or on a dating app is video chat her a few times, talk to her on the phone a few times to verify that she looks like her pictures if you're on the dating app. And that you can just see if she can hold a conversation. If things are awkward on the phone, if she can't hold a conversation on the phone, then things aren't going to be great on the first date. And that's how you figure out if the first date is even worth it. You should also ask her and be straightforward and see where she'd like to go on the first date. So there's no ambiguity behind that. Or if you wanna showcase your active listening skills, just talk to her, see the type of lady she is, and then plan the date. She doesn't have to say where she wants to go explicitly. You can definitely ask, that will take away any guessing games. But if you take her to a place that seems like it meets her expectations or it aligns with her character, the things that she would like to do, then that will be great. But the point is that some people like coffee dates, which I'll get into later, because they seem really low effort because you don't know the person. The person seems like a stranger and you don't wanna spend too much money too quickly or put in too much effort to something that may not work out in the first place. And I understand that. But however, if you talk to the person on the phone and FaceTime with them, you can see if they're worth it right then and there. There's a lot that you can figure out, a person's mindset, a person's personality, whatever. You can figure that out even before the date, even before the date. You can trust your instincts and your gut and you can tell a lot about a person quickly. So of course people can always lie about who they are. Sometimes you can put forward the best effort and you're still not compatible and that's okay. But there's a lot of groundwork that you can do to not waste your time. Okay, and so now we're gonna talk about the big day and some first date ideas and what to avoid. So obviously you can take the woman to the place that she said she wanted to go to. If it's too expensive, I do believe that that is a red flag. Sorry, ladies. So if it's a place like Ruth Chris or Hell's Kitchen or whatever have you, it's giving anniversary, it's giving established couple, I don't think you have to do all of that on the first date. I don't think so at all. A great place can still be inexpensive. So what I would say is first, a unique and highly rated restaurant is very great. Please look up those reviews, see what people have to say about the restaurant. Of course, unless it's a local restaurant that you've been to before, you know it's going to be a hit, that's fine. And I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with chain restaurants, they can be great. However, if you know a really cool hidden gem local spot, I think a lot of women will appreciate that more. Once again, it doesn't have to be expensive, but if it has like a cool ambience, there's live music, there's just something great about the restaurant and obviously having amazing food, anyone would appreciate that. Secondly, a museum is very nice. If you can get intel into someone's intellect, open mic nights are wonderful. And if you feel bold, you can get on stage yourself beforehand, let the woman know and tell her, hey, write a poem and get on stage, let's be bold. Or how about you be bold? That's really cool, unique. And it puts you in a place where you can be vulnerable, open up about your emotions, like open mic nights are great. Sip and paints are great. Also board game bars or cafes are great. You can play Connect Four or Jenga or whatever games you want to play while still picking a person's brain and getting to know each other. So places to really avoid are, let's say you take somebody to the movies, but you don't take them to dinner. That's not a great idea because the movies, you're just focusing on the movie. You can't really talk. It's a place where you have to be quiet and all of that jazz. I would also say like, if it's like a festival or an activity date, as I would call it, where there's just too much going on, too much chaos, too quickly, that wouldn't be a good idea because it's not really an intimate setting. Basically any place that's too loud, a place that doesn't allow you to have a conversation. And also, please, please avoid this. Your house, your house is not a great first date idea. I do not care. If you know how to cook and put on the romance and all of the charm and things, that will make a lady feel unsafe. And if you are a guy who believes in relationships, it'll make her feel like, okay, you're trying to put the moves on her too quickly. It will just make her feel unsafe. Please, the first date should be out at a public space. And there's nothing wrong with chain restaurants, if I haven't said it. Just ensure that it's a chain restaurant she actually likes. Some women don't like certain chain restaurants just because the food might be nasty. For example, I love chilies, but I hate Applebee's. Every time I go to Applebee's, it doesn't matter what location I'm at. The food is always given stale and not fresh. So there are some women who are bad and bougie, and they just wanna go out to those places that are more expensive. And once again, I think that if a woman is adamant about the cost of the place versus just spending time with you, then it's something that you definitely have to raise your eyebrow at. But sometimes a woman just doesn't like a certain chain restaurant just because she doesn't like it. She finds the food nasty. It may not have anything to do with the cost. And if you are going to be that person who's the woman where she wants to go, you can learn a lot about what she says. She may say a certain restaurant and you can automatically see that she's more down to earth, more willing to go to a place that is affordable. If she stays a certain place and it's very pricey, then you can kind of understand right then and there what type of lady you're dealing with. And can we talk about if food compatibility is a thing too? Okay, you can learn a lot from those first conversations before you go on the date because you'll find sometimes a person might be more health conscious and you can't get with that. Or sometimes you might find out that a person hates to eat vegetables and you can't get with that. I think that it says a lot about a person's lifestyle too, what type of places they like to go to and what type of restaurants they like to eat at. So have those conversations, pick a person's brain a little bit before the first date, understand a little bit about who they are so that once again, going back to not having the date be so awkward and then you can just figure out a person's character, their likes, kind of what you're getting into. So you won't be shocked or completely caught off guard or turned off during the first date. And now finally, here is how I really feel about coffee dates. Are coffee dates special enough? Remember, your dating life, my dating life, everyone's dating life is subjective. There is not a catch all, there's not a generic, you must do this, you must do that. Well, there are some things you should absolutely 152% avoid at all times, at all costs, but the coffee date, to coffee date or to not coffee date. So I personally believe that a coffee date is way too casual, okay? Some people like it. If the woman likes coffee dates, do it, that's fine. But if a woman prefers a restaurant or to go to a sip and pain or a really cool event, do that. The point is you don't want to force a woman to do something that she doesn't really like to do. You don't want to be that argumentative guy. A woman says, I don't like coffee dates and you're that guy who's like, what do you mean you don't like coffee dates? You're just trying to use me for my money. And like, if you're that guy, if you're that guy, just as I said, if you're a guy who is upset at spending $30, $40 for a date and you're eating too, please eject yourself completely from the dating pool. But coffee dates to me are way too casual. I love coffee. I'm a coffee connoisseur. That's probably why I'm still hanging on to a little bit of belly fat, you know, if you know, you know, but I love coffee. Would I want to go to a coffee place for a first date with a guy? Absolutely not. I think it's too casual. It doesn't give me a reason to want to put on a nice dress. Can we talk about it? It's okay to be romantic and charming. And when you take a woman to a highly rated restaurant, let's say, like I said, it doesn't have to be expensive, but it has a nice ambiance. The lights are low, different things. You might get to see that really sensual side of her. You know, come on now. She has on that beautiful dress and you're drinking some wine. Like that is, cause at the end of the day, right? You're not hanging out with a friend. Hopefully you're taking the woman out on a date who you really want to be in a relationship with. I'm not saying that more casual dates are the end of the world because you want to be comfortable. You want to be relaxed. But for me personally, coffee date gives too loud, not intimate enough. And it gives, I'm studying for a college test. Coffee shops are things that college kids love doing. It's things that adults love doing when they maybe can take their work to a coffee shop and they want a different environment. It doesn't give date to me. And I have to also say that you can do the low effort casual date, but at the end of the day, putting some thought into it just matters. And there are low effort dates that are still meaningful, impactful, that are not at the coffee shop, right? So a museum, some museums can be completely free or $5, right? So the point is that you want to stand out. You want to be memorable. You don't want to always do the typical thing. Just put a little thought into it, put a little effort into it if you really like the woman. But I just think that coffee dates are just personally way too casual. I've gone to a coffee shop to meet up with my friends and we've planned vacations there. And that was cool, but it just doesn't scream romantic enough to me. Once again, you may find a woman who loves that. She's okay with that. And that's okay. At the end of the day, everyone's dating life is gonna be different. It's going to look different, but I'm just not a fan. All right. And on that note, I'm gonna sign off. This is Slept On Shea signing off from Speak Your Soul Sessions. Please remember to like this video if you found it helpful, share the video, comment. Where are some first dates that you've taken women on? Especially if you're married, right? And you're looking at this, what first date ideas did you do that it was just absolutely a success? And once again, oh, before I completely sign off, sometimes things just don't work out. You can try and try, and that's okay. But there is a lot that you can do to make a first date fun, make it less awkward, just make it memorable. Even if things don't work out, effort is beautiful. Romance is beautiful. Being charming is beautiful. Being thoughtful is beautiful. It's all great. So yeah, share the video, subscribe to the channel. And I hope that you have a wonderful day, afternoon, evening, or night, wherever you may be in the world. And good luck to you and your dating life. I hope that you find the one who makes you happy. I hope you fall in love. And I hope you bring a lot of positivity and fun to someone's dating experience.