Behavioral Crisis Inside The Specialist Nursery For The UKs Most Troubled Toddlers True Lives

Welcome to Britain's naughtiest nursery. The last resort for exhausted parents and their tiny terrors. It's been set up to tackle the behaviour of some of the UK's most challenging children, aged 5 and under. The parents are coming to this nursery at their wits end. They feel as if their lives are being torn apart by their children's behaviour and that there's nowhere else to turn. A team of experts and specialist teachers will be working with the parents to try and change the lives of these unruly kids. It's the start of a new week and the naughty nursery is open, ready for some new arrivals. Daisy Stand up then for me. Come on, don't be silly. Frankie And Teagan Teagan, come here. Teagan. Teagan, get here. Teagan, get here now! But it seems teacher Jules, along with assistants Lucy and Derwy, may be in for a rather long wait for their pupils. Teagan, this ain't funny. Now come on! It's looking like it's going to be a bad day with Teagan. Don't, Daisy, no, please don't do that. No, no, no, no, please don't do that. Daisy, no. Eventually, this week's intakes start to arrive. Hi Frankie, look! Where they join the nursery's other pupils, all here because of their difficult behaviour. Keeping a watchful eye over them all is child psychologist Laverne Antrobus. We're here on hand working with parents so that we can really shape children's behaviour so that they can do much better in school and for their learning. And clinical psychologist Jess Elmer. I think this is a great space for the children to come, but it will be a challenge for the children. It's a new situation for them. Both will guide the children and their families through this important journey before they start school. But outside, four-year-old Teagan is continuing to run circles around mum Shannon. Teagan! Get in now! Come on! Teagan! It's not funny! Go to your bedroom. Teagan, single mum Shannon and baby Malachi live in Loughborough. Teagan is like a tornado, like a Tasmanian devil. She will destroy anything that's in her way. Calm down. Teagan, do not throw these. These are not your toys. These are Malachi's toys. If she doesn't get something she wants, that's one of her main triggers. Removing Teagan's comfort blanket sparks meltdown. But that doesn't stop her eventually getting her own way. If she wants something and you don't do it right then and there, she will kick off. You can only have Nanu and Nunu at night time. You can't have that when you go to school, baby. Mum knows that she has to wean Teagan off her comforters before she starts primary school. She will throw absolutely anything she can get her hands on at you. Pat it in! Pat it in! Teagan! She's very much a bit like she's possessed sometimes. Nobody can stop it. It's when she wants to stop it. She's exhausting. She'll just keep pushing you and pushing you and pushing you. She can't have a Nanu and Nunu when she goes to school. After a tricky start to the morning, Teagan finally makes it to the naughty nursery. Morning, Mum. Hi, Teagan. How are you this morning? Is it really important to you to keep that blankie? Would you like me to hold it while you take your coat off? Right. Okay, you hold it tight. That's great. Teagan has been brought to the nursery because of her tantrums at home. Particularly when her comforters are removed to prepare her for them not being allowed at primary school. Teagan also finds it hard to integrate with other children at her nursery in Loughborough. Often playing alone. And since arriving, she has immediately separated herself from group play, withdrawing from others and focusing on her comforters to make her feel safe in this new environment. But it would be really good to get that de-soother taken away. Yeah. Because it will give her the ability to really engage, be a bit more chatty. Right. Shall I go and find somewhere really safe for that? So Jules has negotiated taking the soother from Teagan, put it in a safe place. Stick it on here so it doesn't fall down, right? So I'm going to put some of that on it. Beautiful. Stick it there. Happy with that? Jules has removed Teagan's soother to allow her to start talking and integrating with the other children. It's vital these barriers are removed to give her the best start at primary school. Where's Teagan gone now? She's not quite joining everybody else, is she? She looks a bit sort of out of it. Not sure. I think you're right. It's like she needs a bit of space to settle. She's got her comfort blanket as well, hasn't she? She's given up her soother, but not quite her blanket. Maybe she needs that in this new place. Teagan is making herself very isolated and quite separate from the other children. In situations like this, where children can feel a little bit anxious, one can see why a comforter might give them the support they need. What I need to do now is find out from Mum Shannon what she's like at home. She's quite loud and in your face at home. Don't shout, put it in. But then nursery, she's held back a lot in how she is. So she's got a different confidence at home? Yes, definitely. I'd say nursery and home life are two different sides of Teagan. Two different Teagans? Yes. It's like she has two different personalities and she can swap and change into them. Okay, well I'm going to obviously keep observing her over the next few days. Hopefully you and I and Teagan will do some work together so we can discover a slightly different path. So we'll just keep working. Taking away this soother, this comforter, is the only way to really help Teagan connect up with the other children and stopping her having this sort of barrier around her so that she really can be with everybody else in the nursery. Back in the classroom, Jules is trying to integrate a withdrawn Teagan. Is this something you'd like to play, pretty girl? Do you know what? I love these. Do you like the way they feel? I wonder if it's tickly on your toes as well? No? Just tickling up your arm? I'd like to say I'm feeling positive about today, but it all depends on how Teagan's behaviour goes. I think it is hard for child professionals to understand. I'm not too sure if they've met anyone like Teagan before. Can I give you a tickly round here? Shall I try? By engaging her on a one-to-one basis, Jules has given Teagan the confidence, without having to hide behind her comforters, to join group play with another new pupil, Frankie. Four-year-old Frankie has been brought to the nursery because his mum desperately needs help with his hyperactivity. Frankie lives with mum Natalie and baby brother Oscar in Stockton-on-Tees. Frankie seems to, he just doesn't sit still. He'd get really hyper, be spinning around, jumping up and down. Sometimes he hits himself as well, which is a worry. He's just a bit wild. Stop it. He has no fear whatsoever of running off. Frankie! Frankie! When we're out and about he'll just run, he can't walk. Come back in the car park. He'll run round the corner where I can't see him. He hides as well sometimes and I can't find him. No, not again. Frankie! And at the nursery, Frankie continues to run riot, demonstrating to all his hyperactive behaviour. He's quite excited, isn't he? Maybe he doesn't quite know how to hold the limit of it and judge it. He wants some help to kind of bring himself back down again. So clinical psychologist Jess wants to get a better understanding of Frankie's hyperactive behaviour from mum Natalie. I thought now's just a chance for me to kind of get to know a bit about you and Frankie and hear about some of the concerns that you've got. His behaviour is just really hard to control. He just won't listen. He just won't settle. He's just hyperactive. It's just constant. Did you have anything in mind that you would want help with? I'd really like more of a general understanding of him. If I knew what was going on with him, I'd be able to focus a bit more on what I'm doing because I worry that I'm doing the wrong thing for him. Frankie, your mum was saying that you like drawing. Wondering if you might be able to do us a picture? What are you going to draw? You could draw Oscar. Frankie. I think we do the drawing on the paper, not on the table. Yeah, I think we do. No, Frankie. It's just really difficult to control. Frankie, who's going to clean that now? You are. I'm not. I'm not either. I never pick my mess up. Does this happen at home much? Yeah. What we've noticed about Frankie is that he can be quite hyperactive and his behaviour can be quite difficult to manage. We need to help mum Natalie with some techniques which should really help Frankie focus. Over at the nursery, finding Frankie's hyper-off switch and involving Teagan without her comforters, the nursery experts have got their hands full. This is Britain's naughtiest nursery, run by child psychologist Laverne Antrobus and her team of experts. In my experience, early intervention is crucial. I'm going to take this ball. So opening the nursery is an ideal opportunity to be working with parents who are really struggling to find different solutions to their child's behaviour. Remember we said it's everybody's ball. Today, they are armed with creative tasks, team building exercises and games up their sleeves to try and understand why these children's behaviour has become so challenging. This week, the nurseries welcomed uncontrollable Frankie and a withdrawn Teagan. Right, well I'm going to go and draw a rainbow. You coming with? No? Another new arrival to catch the attention of Laverne is three-year-old Daisy. That's a bed for the baby. Who's been brought to the nursery because of her constant stroppy meltdowns. Be careful Natalie. What's wrong Daisy? I think that she wants the bed. Daisy lives in Nuneaton along with dad Lee, mum Callie and big sister Lily. From her being two weeks old, she's been very hard work. You know, constantly screaming, she doesn't, you know, doesn't listen. Excuse me, the car is here, come here please. You need to listen, stop running off. And it's just got worse as she's got older. There is cars, now stop. At first I thought, oh maybe it's a case of she's got no understanding, but she has. No, I said no, please don't. She definitely understands. It's the not listening. But there's just no reason why she does it. Daisy, can you stop it please? Yes. A lot of it is she wants something, you tell her she can't have it. She then has this almighty paddy, she'll chuck herself to the floor. She's kicking and screaming. And then next minute, you know, she's literally on her arm, biting herself. It's like a switch, she sometimes, it is almost like she turns to a different child. And you just think how on earth have we gone from, you know, having this almighty paddy. To then being really cute and innocent. At the nursery, Jules is trying to get the kids involved in a group activity. But Daisy isn't listening and decides to ignore teacher Jules. Daisy! Daisy! There was Daisy deciding that the carpet was done for her and she took herself off. I think it's really hard for children. Absolutely, when there's so many other interesting things to look at and Daisy is still very little. Understanding the boundaries around the activities will be difficult for her. She needs that physical holding that Jules is doing there, which is, no, actually we're staying on the carpet area. I think that's an important point actually, the physical touch, helping her follow the instruction rather than just words. But without Jules' one-to-one guidance, Daisy wanders off and doesn't listen. Daisy! Demanding Jules' individual attention yet again. So we've got it again and I do think we should get Daisy's mum in. Yeah, I think that would be helpful, definitely. Daisy! Come on then, let's go and sit on this table over here. So Kelly, we thought it would be helpful to get you in to observe Daisy in the nursery setting. Just to see really the help that she needs to stay on task. Jules has shown Kelly that with physical one-to-one touch, Daisy's attention can be brought back and is now compliant. Yeah, amazing, listening. You don't get to see it very often. She's incredible because, you know, she's interested and then she sort of flits off. And then Jules has had to help her come back. Trying to get her to listen. What are the worries that you have about her when she's at nursery? It's mainly the fight in herself. It's the frustration. The responses. Yeah, if Daisy doesn't want to do it, that's it, that's when she starts to have her moments. Daisy, come and sit back down. On the positive side, Daisy is very inquisitive, but she's at the age where she's having to learn about following instructions and listening to people in authority. I think she understands far more than she lets on, so I'm going to keep my eye on her. Back in the classroom, Daisy has been showing the staff her alternative method of getting noticed, her strops. So Jess wants to understand more from mum Kelly and dad Lee about what sparks their daughter's stroppy meltdowns at home. What we were noticing was she didn't maybe want to follow what Jules was saying. No. And she would start to resist by either kind of laying on the floor, but she'd often check back and look at Jules to see what her reaction was going to be. And I was wondering at home when that happens, how the both of you respond. A lot of the time it's take a step back, don't you, and just leave me to do it all. I think she sort of plays up because she knows she can play us off each other. But it's not just the strops that are causing concern for Daisy's parents. I wanted to ask a bit about the biting, and Lee, I wondered what your thoughts were on Daisy biting. I haven't seen a lot of it, to be fair. It's been mostly while I've been at work, and obviously you've had her. But I've seen her obviously bruising when she has bit herself, often at nursery and stuff. She was having this almighty paddy over the fact that the shoes went on her feet. And she was laying there on the floor, she grabs her shoe and she's biting her shoe, but she's shaking in anger. I wonder if there's a way of us helping Daisy in those moments, finding other ways for her to express it. The last thing I want her to do is bite herself, because she's frustrated. I don't want her hurting herself. We haven't seen Daisy bite herself yet, but Kelly and Lee are clearly worried about this habit. We're going to need to find alternative ways to help Daisy work through her frustrations so this biting doesn't become habitual. In the classroom, all the children are engaged with a group task. Laverne and Jess have noticed that Frankie is the most focused he's been since his arrival. At the start of his time in the nursery, Frankie was identified for his hyperactive behaviour, finding it impossible to sit down and focus. But teacher Jules has managed to engage Frankie, focusing his attention. Frankie's standing up, isn't he? I don't know what Frankie's about to do. He's engaged now. Yeah, it's really interesting to notice the switch and now Jules has engaged him in the group and he really does look engaged. Frankie, sit down. I think something about Frankie still standing up. He seems a bit unsure about, I don't know, whether he wants to join in. Wanting to find out if this is typical behaviour, Laverne and Jess call in mum Natalie. We noticed it, he stood up for quite a long time and he's sat down now and engaging but it did take him quite a long time. I think he was stood for probably about 15 minutes. He doesn't usually sit down. Does he not? Really? Yeah, so to eat or anything, he'll sit down for a couple of seconds then he'll stood up. He just really doesn't like sitting down. So this is great for you to see then? Yeah, this is nice to be able to watch him like this, it's really interesting. This gives Natalie encouragement for when Frankie starts school, knowing that with help, Frankie can sit down and focus. I'm wondering whether we're going to observe any of the behaviours that you're worried about in the nursery today. Yeah, I think it depends on what's going on, other type of activity even might have an impact on it. What sort of activities do you think might set him off perhaps? Anything physical, which he does love doing but he sort of does it to the extreme. Anything like he's more likely to get more excited. Okay, well we'll watch out for that. Okay. Frankie really excelled with a focused activity in a calm environment. He even sat down which we know is usually quite difficult for him. Now it's playtime, it's a very physical time of day so we may well see Frankie slip back into more of a hyper state. After a spell of calm, as predicted, Frankie's behaviour has regressed. Becoming hyperactive as soon as he enters a physical environment. Going forward, Jess and Laverne now know that Frankie needs focused activities in a calm setting. Otherwise he will easily revert back to his uncontrollable and boisterous ways. So far the children's emotions have been running quite high so we've been able to see what the parents are having to deal with. What we need to do now is give these parents the right skills so that they can tackle their children's behaviour and get them back on the right track. Welcome to Britain's naughtiest nursery, run by Laverne Antrobus and staffed by child experts to help parents get their tear-away tots back on track before they start school. Intervening early can make a real difference for the children and their parents. This really is the last resort for these stressed out families. This week the staff have seen Frankie's hyper behaviour begin to settle with a focused activity. Daisy's stroppy meltdowns are being monitored by the nursery staff. And Teagan's isolation is being addressed by removing those self-imposed barriers, her beloved comforters. It would be really good to get that to Susan, taken away, because it will give her the ability to really engage, be a bit more chatty. Right, shall I go and find somewhere really safe for that? Come on then. As outside play begins, Teagan's comforters have been left inside, with the hope that she will integrate and play with the other children. But when Teagan realises that her comforters are inside the nursery and not available to her, this sparks a tantrum. I can see that you're really angry. Are you really cross? Jules tries to settle Teagan, but knows to immediately back away after that help is refused. It's really just trying to get Teagan to understand how she's feeling, and once she can name those feelings, and understand that things aren't going to change, then we can help her through it. It is a valuable insight into Teagan's tantrums at home, when her comforters are taken away and when she doesn't get what she wants. Wanting to understand more, Laverne catches up with mum Shannon. So when you sort of started to worry about Teagan, when was that approximately? When did you start to think, oh I'm not sure what's going on? Probably from when she was about one, one and a half, that's when her tantrums started, and then it just got worse and worse as the years have gone on. Just the anger. She'd just go so red and just fume, and like just to hold her or just to stop it was, it was hard work for a child that young. And how do you feel, because that's quite a hard relationship to be in, isn't it, with her? It's difficult because I want to spend time with her, but then when she just starts winding me up, I'm like, go to bed, do you know what I mean? Just go away, and I don't want it to be like that. We could see that taking away her comforters was really difficult, but actually it's a way of stopping her having this sort of barrier around her, so that she really can be with everybody else in the nursery. After playtime, the children, and a now calm Teagan, with no comforters in tow, gather on the carpet. Freddie, can you see Teagan? OK, so this is the traffic lights game, and I think Jules is giving them an introduction to which colours mean what. Laverne wants to see how well Teagan can join in when given fun alternatives, distracting her away from her comforters. Are you ready? Go! OK, here goes the running. This game explores the confidence of each child by the ability to direct their peers. Big voice, big hands. Something that Teagan would have shied away from at the start of the week. Well, it really feels like Teagan's in the group now. It's such a change. Who do you think should be stopped, Teagan? So, with invested time from Jules and fun distractions, Teagan has forgotten about her comforters and joins in. I think Jules has worked really hard to help her feel comfortable in the group. Yes, and we've seen Teagan, haven't we? Find her confidence. It might be really good for Shannon to know. I think Jess and I were thinking about, you know, the shifts in her from those sort of hot spots where things haven't gone so well for her. When she was a bit quieter, had all her sort of comfort things with her, she's given them up today, and it's allowed her to get a bit more involved. I do think, Jess, she's managed to keep connected to the group and the activities. Much more so today. Much more so. And I think it is that kind of sense of having a place in the group. She's now taking charge, and she's on the chair. Can you see her? There we go. She's liked feeling really involved, and maybe that's something that we can play around with, just to see if that shifts something as well in how she is with you. Because that's not how you experience her at home. No, no, definitely not. Definitely not. Showing Shannon how far Teagan has progressed gives her the reassurance that her daughter's behaviour is changing for the best. How does it feel for you to see her like this, involved? It's really nice. I really enjoy watching her playing with other children and, you know, not playing up. It's nice to see her getting involved. It's such a nice change. It's a promise, isn't it? Yeah, it definitely is. To see the potential in your child. Yeah. What they're capable of. Yeah. I'm starting to see a different side from when we first came here. It made me really happy to think that she can get along with children and she can join in. Let's get ready. Rev your engine up. I'm looking which is the fastest car. And I'm looking to see which car. As group play continues with a happy and involved Teagan, Daisy is yet again drawing attention to herself through her stroppy meltdowns, born when she struggles to verbalise how she is feeling. Daisy's got this beautiful way of looking like she's not paying attention. I think she's learnt this is a good way to get attention. Mmm. It's a good way to get my needs met. Yeah. Daisy, I think it's time now for you to pass that glue over for someone else to share it. Lovely. No, no. I think it's time to stop with the glue and share it. There we go. Oh, they're beautiful. What do you need? Oh, shall we have a little think about how we're asking? See what you can do with that. And the minute Daisy doesn't get her own way, she immediately drops into a sulk. But this hasn't fooled Jules. Daisy's got her head down on the floor. Yeah. Looking like she's about to cry. Who's taking a tactical ignore method to defuse her strop. Which eventually works and Daisy is quick to recover by herself. We've noticed that Daisy has a meltdown when she's finding how to verbally communicate. But she needs help to understand that this is not the answer. Tactical ignoring has proven to work and Mum Kelly is going to have to work really hard at this to make sure that this doesn't become a learned behaviour. So after catching up with Jules, Laverne and Jess bring Mum Kelly up to speed with their observations. We've noticed that she often uses her body language to communicate how she's feeling. Yeah. Daisy's quite quick to tears, but conversely quick to recovery. But I think her preference is not necessarily her verbal comms just yet. We notice a lot that if she's getting frustrated, she'll, you know, maybe curl up in a bubble. And it's a clear symbol that something's maybe not going her way or she's feeling upset. And what the nursery team have found is helpful is allowing Daisy time to work through how she's feeling. When that's finished, back to the table. Yes. OK. That frustration is in a way an inevitable part of kind of learning to tolerate things not going your way. Yeah. But just giving her a bit of time to kind of work through that. Yeah. Yeah. It's quite a roller coaster for her in a way, isn't it, each day. Now armed with the understanding behind Daisy's drops, Kelly needs to tactically ignore Daisy and let her ride out those meltdowns by herself. It was good knowing how to deal with when she's on the floor crying her eyes out, screaming at you. I feel like we are getting somewhere. As we have the chance to observe them and their children, it's much easier for us to spot some of the difficulties in their children's behaviour. Now we need to work together on those parenting skills so that when they leave here, they've got the confidence to implement these changes at home. Thank you. This week, the Naughty Nursery has opened its doors to three families, all trying to get their tearaway tots back on track. Psychologists Laverne Antrobus and Jess Elmer, along with expert teachers, have been observing the children, giving their parents advice and new take-home tactics on how to control their unruly behaviour. With their time at the nursery coming to an end, Laverne has got a final team-building necklace-making activity to test what lessons the parents have learned about dealing with their kids' behaviour. Teagan arrived at the nursery withdrawn and completely dependent upon her comforters, presenting catastrophic tantrums when they were taken away. With primary school fast approaching, mum Shannon was at her wits' end. But since her stay at the nursery, when given fun alternatives, Teagan thrived without her comforters. And Laverne believes that receiving more one-to-one time with mum can further Teagan's confidence and involvement in group play. I think this is quite an important moment for Shannon, to be with Teagan at the end of her time in the nursery, understanding, like a lot of parents, she's not completely sure about how to help Teagan when she has her moments of distress. So to help Shannon best deal with Teagan's behaviour, Laverne has asked Jules to share a few simple techniques. Picking up on Teagan finds it hard and then it really becomes quite a big dysregulation or tantrum. Something that we would suggest is almost to try and stop things building. Chat through, you tell her, I get your behaviour, you don't have to show me any more, you don't have to go any bigger with this, I understand. Talk to her, how could we fix that? Now if, as yesterday, the reaction is, no, get off me, guess what I'm going to do? I turn my back, I carry on ironing and I'm watching the peg. Yes. Yeah? I think that for Shannon it will be a moment for her to realise, actually when Teagan's distressed I can offer a little bit of help, but if it doesn't look like it's working, I need to back off. Parenting is never easy, particularly when you have a child with challenging behaviour. If mum Shannon can really follow through and give Teagan this one-to-one time that we've really seen her thrive on, then the new sociable Teagan could be here to stay. Wow, you've done it all, done a really, really good job. With the final team-building activity coming to an end... But I think the winner for me is Teagan and her mum! Let's give Teagan a big clap! Well done, Teagan! It's clear that special one-to-one time with mum, and when distracted from her comforters, Teagan thrives. With her tantrums hopefully a thing of the past, Teagan's set up for a positive start at school. At the end of Teagan's time in the nursery, Laverne and Jess are keen to hear how Shannon will tackle any challenges in the future. When she's having a tantrum, to step back and give her time. Hopefully I can manage it before it gets to that point by just stepping back and saying, how can we resolve this, Teagan? I think what you're saying is, I'm going to help her to know that I'm available to help. You and her spending some one-to-one time was also going to be really helpful. The way you and Teagan worked together on the task, it was beautiful to watch. It was absolutely beautiful and it was clear that Teagan really enjoyed that time. So well done, you! It's made me think a lot about how I deal with Teagan. I do shout a lot because she's naughty quite a lot. So I'm going to try and slow down and breathe myself and just kind of take a step back and be like, right, Shannon, how can you deal with this better without shouting at her? Who's going to win? Who's not going to win? Me! Well, it's a rabbit dance! Since her time at the nursery, Daisy had numerous stroppy meltdowns, leaving her parents not knowing where to turn to. But Laverne and Jules quickly realised that they were just a means of getting attention, slyly looking up to make sure she was getting noticed. After being tactically ignored and now not getting the desired effect she was used to, Daisy was able to quickly snap out of them. And Laverne believes that this new technique, along with guidance from Jules, will help Daisy if she gets tempted to bite during a strop. So Daisy's moving on from the nursery today. I mean, it's quite a key moment for her, isn't it? We've seen the sort of highs and lows of her behaviour, these sort of emotional moments. What I think is so crucial is that Daisy's mum, Kelly, gets to spend some time with Jules to help her feel a bit more confident about what might seem quite ordinary behaviour and what she needs to concentrate on. The one thing I have noticed is very, very, very quick to remedy. And that's huge. We've had lots of fun with her. I can imagine. Lots and lots. She's been biting herself as well. Right. Kelly's worried about the way in which she sort of can attack her arms a bit and, you know, bite herself. She's actually doing it already this morning. I think Daisy, if she's given something else, that she can whack around. Yeah. We've all got those things that we do when we're a little bit nervous. Yeah. So that's her thing. So we can offer her alternatives. It has mainly been, for instance, when she's angry. Yeah. And that's when she does it. Or when she's upset, that's when she does it. In a restaurant, I might give her a napkin. Yeah. And commentate her through it. I can see that you're angry. Let's scrunch our anger up into this and we're going to throw it away. And, you know, it's OK to be angry. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. We've spoken to her about trusting, really trusting her own instincts, I think. To know that this will move on. You know, it's quite a developmental moment in Daisy's life. So I think for Jules, really to spend this time saying to Mum, you can do it in these moments. I'd really like Kelly to go away knowing that she can help Daisy. Before Daisy leaves the nursery, Laverne and Jess want to know how Kelly will apply her newfound techniques to stop the strops. So I've just decided, you know, I'm going to just leave her. Just leave her to it. Just let her do it and then she'll be snuffed out of it. It's made me realise that, actually, I don't need to be stressed with that. Your confidence to think, actually, this is what my child needs to do. She's going to do it and then we're going to move on. Yeah. I'm trying to sort of change her from biting herself to trying to think of other things she can do. I said to her this morning, don't need to bite yourself, you know, what should we do instead? And she was like, I'll build a tower. OK, that's fine. Wow, that's fantastic. Daisy's a really, she's a bright girl, so the idea of giving her an alternative, she is a child that is up for trying that. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. I guess if you're feeling confident in what you're doing, then that helps to move away from some of that stress as well because you can connect with... Because I'm like, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like, yeah, you know, I can do this. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Leaving with the insight to find Daisy an alternative to bite and with the confidence to ignore any strops, Kelly is optimistic about the future. It's been brilliant. It's, I've like, I've come out, I feel a lot more confident and know that what I am doing is the right thing and knowing that what I'm doing is good. Frankie arrived at the nursery unable to sit down and focus. His hyperactive ways had left his mum exhausted. Frankie! Frankie! No, not again. But when given a structured task in a calm environment, Frankie was engaged and applied himself with incredible focus. Nice to be able to watch him like this, it's really interesting. Yeah, yeah. To help mum Natalie keep his hyperactivity in check, Laverne and Jules have organised a structured challenge showing how simple daily tasks can be applied to help Frankie focus. What we've noticed with Frankie is he loves a challenge. So we've got a little mission for you, Frankie. In this room somewhere is an envelope with your name on. Can you see if you can find it? It's hiding just for you. Quick! So it's Frankie's last day at the nursery. I think he's had quite an interesting time because we know that Natalie's quite worried about his behaviour. We have seen him get quite anxious, haven't we, and sort of not know what to do with himself. And you're getting hotter, you're getting nearer, cooling off. Move that way a bit, Frankie. Nearly there. Oh, good looking. Good looking. This hide-and-seek exercise has shown Natalie that with a focused challenge, Frankie engages and his behaviour settles. Has that got your name on it? Open it up. Can it open it? To see him be able to settle, which I've never seen, because he's always running around, and it's nice to know that he can focus and that he'll be able to at school. I think this is going to be really, really helpful for Natalie, isn't it? Yeah. What's important is Natalie has that opportunity to practice and keep going and having the confidence to keep going with that idea. But really, Mum, what it's about is giving him an enormous challenge, but having little games like this around the house when perhaps he hasn't been stimulated will help. I think Natalie's beginning to see that she might have a role in helping him to manage that. By using structured games to engage Frankie, Natalie can regain control and get Frankie to cooperate. Keep him engaged, but working with you very calmly. Build that from a task like this into real life. Put your shoes on. OK, do you need help? What can I do to help you? Now armed with new techniques in how to cope with Frankie's behaviour, Laverne and Jess are keen to hear how Natalie is feeling. So there's been a couple of things I think that will be really useful. With Jules earlier, I just felt relieved, to be honest, to see that something, just a little thing like that might work, something that's centred around him and seems to, like, really slow him down a little bit. I think children of Frankie's age need somebody close by to understand that for them. Giving him extra reassurance will definitely help. By me saying to him, I did this morning when he just wouldn't put his shoes on. I think you've realised that your words are the next layer that really soothe and calm him. Yeah, I do feel like that will help a lot. Well done. Thanks. Thank you. Natalie has certainly grasped how to channel Frankie's hyper-behaviour and that her words and actions are key in calming him down as well. I feel like I've got something positive out of it. Some ideas to challenge him, to keep him occupied. I think it'll take some practice, but, yeah, I feel good. I'm not so worried about him, to be honest. I feel a bit more chilled out. We met these parents when they felt there was nowhere else to turn, but today they're leaving confident and armed with the tools that they need to improve their relationships with their children. Daisy's had a great week. I definitely think the future's looking brighter, just because I've come away with a lot of ideas and things I'm going to try. Bye, Frankie. Bye, Mum. Good luck. My relationship with Frankie seems a lot calmer. Overall, it's definitely been a good week. Oh, Tegan, you found it! I do it all on my own with two kids whilst working and most of the time I do think I'm failing, but maybe I should praise myself a lot more and actually realise that I am doing my best and I'm not such a rubbish mum.