The Sabrina Carpenter Mindset

Welcome back to the It Girl Playbook. Today, we'll be continuing our fun little series, It Girl Lessons from It Girls, where we explore the allure of some of our favorite iconic it girls and see what it is that makes everyone so obsessed with them. By better understanding what makes them so magnetic, we can be inspired to adopt some of their most attractive qualities and values into our lives so that we can level up as well. In today's lesson, we'll be learning from the pop star sweetheart herself, Sabrina Carpenter, and explore the arts of playful femininity and unbothered confidence. In the music industry, where artists make you pressure to prove themselves with over-the-top, bold, dramatic statements, we've seen the era of Lady Gaga with the neat dress, Doja Cat dressing up as a literal cat for the Met Gala, and Miley Cyrus' rebellious bangers era. Shock value seems to have been a norm to grab attention, make headlines, and possibly drive fame, but Sabrina Carpenter seems to stand out without having to do any of that and seems to be rising in fame by actually doing the opposite. She leans into this playful femininity in her looks, aesthetics, performance, and entire personality where it's just light, fun, and overall just incredibly charming. This holds a lot of value in an industry that fills with intensity where looks, performances, and even songs can be a little bit extreme about gut-wrenching heartbreaks, violence, popping bottles, etc. because it's refreshing. And that's important because it comes to show that to make an impression and to be charming, you don't have to go to the extremes. Sometimes simply just enjoying yourself, being light, and having fun can be more refreshing and more effective in being magnetic and just attracting attention rather than demanding it. We mentioned how Sabrina Carpenter is able to stand out by doing the opposite of what seems to be industry norms and it being refreshing, but there is a difference between simply doing things differently and forcing yourself to be different just for the sake of it. In a world that really celebrates defying expectations and being different, being unique, many people may take this to the point of sometimes rejecting even parts of themselves. Take the stereotypes about blondes for an example. Many people might say that they are more fun, more bubbly, and girly. Some might go out of their way to disprove it, to be different, but I feel like Sabrina Carpenter, she fully embraces it. She leans into the side of her personality with confidence and because it's authentic, it resonates. This holds a lot of value because it comes to show that you don't have to abandon or feel ashamed or feel like you have to prove something if you fall into a certain stereotype just to be seen as different. I remember there was this girl that I used to be really close friends with. She's Asian and I think that there's that stereotype that, you know, Asians are good at math and this girl, she was not only good at math, she was so incredibly smart and it was something that I really admired about her. But whenever we're in groups, it felt like she went out of her way to act stupid, act like she pretended, like she couldn't even do simple addition or sometimes even to the extremes of pretending that she couldn't even tie her own shoelace just for the sake of being different and to get more attention. But it felt so weird because whenever it's just the two of us, she's like one of the smartest people that I know. When something is genuinely a part of who you are, rejecting it just for the sake of defying expectations and to deliver something that may be the opposite of a norm can feel like a performance. It creates this kind of disconnection not only with those who want to support you but also with yourself. Sometimes embracing it can feel even better and can turn out to be even more productive as well. Trying to be different doesn't make you more unique. It's because you are you and no one else is you that is what makes you so unique and I think that's what makes Sabrina so special. Yes, we can agree that Sabrina fits into certain stereotypes. She is feminine, playful, bubbly and she is like many people in many ways but at the same time, there is no one like her. She plays with her audience, makes them laugh, her lyrics are fun and witty and you can just see whether it's her personal life or professional life, she just doesn't take herself too seriously in a way that feels so authentic and as a result, she's genuinely just someone having fun and if you've ever seen someone just skipping along and going about life with that type of energy, you just can't help but be like, wow, that person seems to be enjoying life. He or she seems like a lot of fun. I want to be friends with that person. I want what she's having. I want to be like her. Life is hard, yes, achieving goals and becoming successful, however you define that, it requires effort but life is also meant to be enjoyed. You deserve to live a life that brings you joy and this is the type of playful femininity that I feel like Sabrina Carpenter has really mastered to bring joy to her life and something that we can adopt in our lives as well. But here's the thing, being soft doesn't mean being weak. Being playful doesn't mean being a pushover and that's where Sabrina Carpenter's unbothered confidence comes in. Sometimes we confuse being feminine and being soft as being weak or fragile but that's not the case at all and Sabrina Carpenter is a perfect example of this. She's playful and doesn't take life too seriously but also she makes it clear that her kindness isn't to be mistaken for weakness. When she was caught in the very public love triangle drama including Olivia Rodrigo and Joshua Bassett, it would have been easy for her to fire back or do the opposite and sit back, do nothing and just let the media define her. Instead of getting defensive, seeking revenge or diving into the drama, she responded just enough to share her side and make a point. Her strong skin, it wasn't an attack but it was a measured, thoughtful response. One that acknowledged the situation without compromising her dignity. She didn't engage in a messy back and forth. Instead, she controlled her own story and admitted in her song and even in interviews that under different circumstances, she and Olivia might have gotten along and would even be friends. She doesn't need to prove her worth by tearing others down and that's what makes her so admirable. She easily could have given the situation that Olivia was a rising star at the moment and Sabrina had already been in the spotlight for a while but she didn't and this is something that I find so valuable. Oftentimes, we hear the advice to quote-unquote be the bigger person, to let the drama go if you're secure because you're better than that and if you're confident, it shouldn't even bother you but the problem is if you constantly disregard the disrespect or let things slide, you will make it seem like you're someone that can just be walked all over. Be kind to people but be strict on your own boundaries. This love triangle situation and Sabrina's response was a perfect example of this. She remains unbothered. She's still her confident self but she also makes it clear that even though she isn't about drama, she isn't afraid of drama. The way that she handled the situation wasn't messy, violent, or spiteful. It was just intentional and out of respect for her own self and her own boundaries. Sabrina Carpenter is proof that confidence doesn't have to be loud and femininity doesn't have to be fragile. Her career is a reminder that there's strength in knowing who you are and owning it. By fully embracing her playful, flirty, and self-assured persona, she has carved out a space where she can exist exactly as she wants. Unapologetic, unbothered, and entirely unforgettable and so if I could leave you with anything today, it's this. Have fun. Life is hard but you don't have to take yourself too seriously. You can afford to enjoy yourself but never let that be an excuse to tolerate anything that compromises your boundaries and your self-worth. That's it for today. Thank you for tuning in. I hope to see you in the next one and in the meantime, as always, stay hot. Bye!