Finding freedom on the road... Van Life

I feel so refreshed but equally so cold but yet so warm at the same time. My feet are absolutely freezing right now and they're the one thing that just has not warmed up. It's been like 10 minutes, they still can't feel them so they have a water bottle, I have a hot water bottle in them right now so life's good but I'm just going to chill for a minute. Chill with me, chill with me. Hello. Okay, snack time, aka, so it's kind of like a dinner actually but we're just going to go with snack. ------- nice. Look at that view though. I have sweet potatoes, red pepper, red onions and roasted pork. Excellent. Oh, it's so toasty under here. It's actually freezing outside. I swear it was sleeting earlier but the view is worth it right now and I'm toasty so vibes. This is actually fully what I was expecting van life to be. This. Because on Pinterest I always used to look and Instagram and I was like, oh that looks so cute. Everyone's always in the desert and like forests and I actually have found that so, I mean I've found it loads of times before but this time it just feels very Pinterest, very Instagram. Just me, myself and I and Gloria, this and you guys. Excellent. 11 out of 10. Could not, couldn't ask for more really right now. Very satisfied. I am revitalized from the cold water. I am toasty under here but the breeze is coming through. Everything is just right except my hair is a bit damper than I'd like. I think I've successfully completed van life after all these years, right now, it's actually pretty cool. Like I was just thinking about when I was building the van and so I literally forget I built it. I forget everything because I've done so many things that I just, now my brain's just like we're not going to store any memory of anything, we're just storing facts, theme tunes and new film ideas. Everything else just gets flatlined. This is honestly, this feels like my first day ever in a van. It's like you've had a few years of doing this, every day and I'm sitting here like you know what, I think this is the life, dumbass. But it's so nice there, just vibes, you know. Even the sky's turning blue, it's blue. I do fear that this is reigniting my want to live off grid and decision that that is the right way to go. It's now raining so I shut the doors and the sound of the river plus the warmth I'm feeling right now, I need to just take a little cheeky nap. Okay, I think we're going to leave because it's raining quite heavily and I don't want to get stuck so let's keep, let's go, I don't know where yet, we'll find out in a minute. I'm not going to make it in there, there's like a wire, like a, like a wire, an electrical wire, good thing I noticed that. Oh my god, I was so going to go into it, I'm just going to reverse all the way back out then, can I do a little turn? Okay, we're out, I just have no idea where we're going and there's no service as predicted. Think, child, nothing, we have nothing on the maps, right, let's just go back the way it came, at least I know it leads somewhere. Does it? No, we're going to go back the other way, we're going to go back the other way. Oh, I've probably made such an L, it doesn't matter, it does a bit, it doesn't matter that much. We're driving straight into the fog which is delightful, so delightful, can't wait. Yay, driving at night alone, what a good life decision, high five. Making all my parents' dreams come true. Oh, it's so spooky but it's also so pretty, I'm conflicted, I'm conflicted. I cannot see any lights forever, I can't see any town lights, headlights, street lights, no lights, can't even see the stars. Where am I going? I can't see the map, this is a big issue, this is a very big issue, great news everybody. We're entering a new forest and we're also entering the fog, yes, yes, yes, it's rolling fog, great. Oh my gosh, I just don't know where we are, it's just weird, like we could be going further and further and further, like I know there's a road here but that road might just be taking us even further away from everybody and everything. I do quite like the sentiment of when it gets dark, I'm not so sure I like it anymore, you get me? Yes, road signs, yes, this is what we wanted. Oh, come on, you got a load, thank you, right. Oh my god, we're literally in the middle of nowhere, what have I done? We're just, we're surrounded by green, oh god. We're gonna go this way, this way. Now they know, there's a building, let it go. Okay and we need to concentrate, I need to stop doing karaoke. Oh my lord, where are we? That's the road, how am I supposed to, is it this one? It has to be this one. Okay, so clearly my sat-nav wants to kill me because, where the **** is this? God, I thought it was a place, it's just like a weird neighbourhood full of just roads and nothing and like you can't even park down the roads, it's just driveways. I've never been so confused by a place before, there's like nothing, it's just endless roads, it's as creepy as hell. Send prayers, please, right now. What is this? I feel like Alice in Wonderland, I feel like I'm in a maze, there's like no way out, it's just hedges, I'm confused. I'm not even kidding, there's something so off about it here, I can't put my finger on it but there's something just like deeply unsettling me about here, it's really strange. Where's the only place though? Oh, this is not making things better. Right now I'm having a frozen karaoke session to distract me from the fact that we're now in a rainstorm and I have no place to stay. Look at it out there, it's so bad. It's Disney Do, a live action. Frozen, I'm gonna audition to be Elsa because I understand Elsa. I get the queen, even, oh my god, I even have the platen right now. How do I get to that? Actually, I'd have to wear a wig. I really want to see what I'd look like with like ice blonde, Slavic, Nordic, whatever hair. I think I look best with dark hair to be honest but I just like, I like the lightness. What am I doing? Choose a space, I'm just like delaying. The thing is when it's raining in the van, it's really hard to find spaces because you gotta, especially in the dark because it's like, okay, is there mud? What's above, what's below, you know, ---- happens when it rains, things fall, grounds deteriorate and it's just, at night I have no idea where this place even is and I can't even drive out of it really because it means going through the whole like twisty windy forest mountain roads and it is like torrential rain right now. I'm just gonna turn back down there, there's like, it looks like there's a few car parks on the maps so we're gonna, we're gonna turn around. We're driving because there's like a slightly bigger road and the next town is like 15 minutes away, I literally thought it would be like 40 so I think it's a bit bigger, it has some shops. Basically, if you must know the truth, I just won a croissant so the truth's out but that place was sketchy, it's real sketchy. Okay, so I think I just drove along one of those drives that people like wait their whole lives to drive and I just did it in the dark and the rain because I'm an idiot and I'm just driving around hoping to find some sort of meaning somewhere and I, I don't know where the meaning is, there I said it. I don't know where the **** I'm going, I'm just going around in circles, I'm just going around in circles. Oh god, right, okay, I'm gonna go this way. God, where am I? What is this place? I was in the cliffs, now there's a little, like, now the rain's coming, no road is big enough, then it's a one-way pretty much but they're shoving two cars down it and I'm a van so that's the kind of time I've been having so far. Oh, there's a roundabout, thank the lord, thank the lord, okay. ------- speed bump, did not see that, did not see that. Right, let's just go in here. I'm so disoriented right now, now I'm just in this car park that's just got random shops I don't know why I'm here and now my voice is breaking because I've just been going hard with the frozen sing-along whilst almost, you know, just avoiding oncoming traffic, really, that's what this drive has been. I'm just gonna go to the bouldery because when in doubt, get a croissant because it's the only familiar thing. It's like food, okay, I'm safe, we have resources, you know, maybe it's like some kind of caveman mentality but it works, even if you don't buy anything, just stand there, like, cool, you know, it's neutral territory. Where's my coat? Oh, it's on the floor, okay, we're going, let's go, got the goods. I don't know where to go, honestly, having a nightmare right now, every option I have is like, shut off, basically, because it's raining so hard, I don't want to go into the right, the way I just came back down, I never want to drive that road again, basically, the rain has majorly floored my plan, I'm such an idiot, I should have stayed up at that other place. It's got sketchy vibes, dumbass, stay in the sketchy vibes, it was good up there, we had it good, now it's getting worse because I'm in a weird city-type place with no parking space in sight. Made a rookie error and that is embarrassing. Gonna give me a few more minutes, I'm gonna have to find a solution. Can't really believe it, but we're in, we're in the little car park, thanks a little shout out, shout out, okay, do I love staying in supermarket car parks? No, don't like staying in anything that isn't a wild space or a cheeky little camping spot, but I don't have, I can't go anywhere else, can't go anywhere else, everywhere's unsafe, I mean, there's rubbish everywhere, I'm right next to a road, it's not great, but it's quiet and it's kind of safe, it's lit, and if I'm like desperate for food, I can go in there in the morning, so. And also, there is a sushi restaurant over there, so if I get hungry, I can get sushi, so, and by sushi, I mean gyozas, because I don't like fish. Just going it back, there you go, this feels alright, this feels alright. Rain is so heavy. This is not chic. I'm gonna do my colouring in, and I'm gonna try not to die. I've had these since I was 12, everyone used to use them in primary school, so I wrote my name on it. 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