The Miniature Wife _ Lindy and Les’ Argument Takes a Wild Turn _ Clip _ Love Love

Career! Stop! It was one book in the early aughts! This is what you did. You basically, you turned in a book report on your fucked up family, you changed the names, you added a little bit of wry sarcasm, and then you called it fiction, and you got lucky. My rainbow starts with black. No ----. My book report, and the subsequent Oscar-nominated film it's based on, bought and paid for this extravagantly sad McMansion in this podunk red state town you forced us to move to so that you could try to be something other than Mr. ------- Tomato Head. This is the last thing I need right now. Oh my, I'm so sorry. What is it you need right now? I need you. Yeah, I need your support. This is my last chance. You already got your prize. And, in case you forgot, I was by your side for every ******* sentence. Every book signing, every interview, I held your purse, I held my tongue, you know? I was there for the ride. And it wasn't always pleasant. You know, the rollercoaster of insecurity and emotion was frankly ******* exhausting. I have paid that debt! I have been by your side for 15 years! You had flavor saver! And it was insufferable! Still is! But I didn't get my moment in the spotlight like you did! I didn't get my prize! Swing and a- How is it my fault? How? My apologies. Forgive me for being ambitious. Coasting by on a one-hit wonder isn't enough for me. Maybe you don't have another hit in you. Huh? Maybe you're one and done. Maybe your ego just won't let you read the room. I would rather be blinded by my ego than paralyzed by fear. That's me? That's what you think of me? Yeah, because you haven't produced one goddamn sentence in 15 years! What kind of magic do you think you're suddenly going to find in your beloved grey house, huh? With me by your side like an emotional support animal, encouraging you, keeping you calm because, quote, I promise we'd return there one day, unquote. I mean, I am through being held emotionally hostage for your creative paralysis. And there it is, everyone. That's our show. Same line every time. Is the top secret thing you've been working on- Give me that. Give me. A Tonka truck is not going to change the world, let alone agriculture as we know it. You have no idea what you're talking about. This is what you said to every female scientist that's ever had a better idea. You know, most men overcompensate with a big truck. It's nice to see yours to scale. What a gentleman. Oh, ****. What? Oh no, Lindy. What? What'd you do? Oh god, is she dead? Oh, Lindy, say something. Are you alive? Oh, you're alive!