When Your Life Doesn't Go As Planned - Erica Rhodes

We need good news now, right? And I've got it. Do you guys want some good news tonight? All right. I finally have good news. This is the good news. The good news is I found out today that the numbers are finally going down of people pursuing their dreams. And I think that's good, right? Too many big dreamers in the world. We need to get one big reality check, right? For the entire world. I used to be one of them. I used to be a really big dreamer. I used to be like, when I make it, I'm going to have a beautiful house in Malibu. You know, I had a real clear vision of my vision board if I had made one. And maybe that was a problem. I never made the board to go with the vision. But if I had, it would have this beautiful house, all glass windows. You know, I pictured myself waking up every morning, going out and gazing at this beautiful ocean view. And now I'm like, when I make it, I'm going to get a headboard for my bed. A real firm one. No Ikea ----. The real deal. I'll wake up in the morning, I'll be like, I'm a grown up now. I've got a headboard. I think my problem is my parents were too supportive, right? You want supportive parents to a point, but you don't want them too supportive. Like if I had kids now, I'd be like, you know what you're good at Johnny? You're good at stocking the fridge. You put that milk away next to the eggs. And if you get really ambitious, I want you to run a lap around the house and then deliver the milk to the front door. And maybe you'll work for Amazon one day. But my parents were the opposite. My mom's a violinist. So she's always been a dreamer, artist type. And she's always like, honey, just find what you love to do. And the money will follow. And I'm like, okay, but how far back is it following? Right? Like, are we talking 10 years, 20 years? Is this some karmic life lesson that in this lifetime, I'll be broke. And in a future lifetime, I'll have a headboard. And she was like, honey, you're not our problem anymore. Plus you owe us a thousand dollars. So maybe hold off on the headboard. She's always comparing me to people like once she was like, you know who you're like, Erica, you're just like grandma, because you're in a male dominated profession with standup comedy. And grandma was in a male dominated profession with aeronautical engineering. I was like, yeah, we're pretty much the same, same person. Except one of us was very good at math. And the other owns one towel. Besides that, we're both killing it. And she was like, I'm just so relieved. You were never involved with Harvey Weinstein. She's like, I know you weren't because I told your father if she had been, she'd be a lot more successful. But honey, you can sleep at night now. I was like, actually, I can't because my mattress is really uncomfortable. I can't really afford a new one. But I get what you're trying to say. Thank you. It's been an interesting time for men, right? Lots of learning. One guy over there is like, yeah, I'm learning. I'm learning a lot. Not a great time to be a creepy male comic. Right? So not a great time to be a male comic. So not a great time to be a male is the point. I think for me, what shocked me the most about the whole Me Too movement was just how shocked we were by the fact that men are gross. Right? That's not that shocking. That was one of the first things I learned as a kid. Eat your broccoli. Men are gross. Right? And then this year, we all woke up every morning and we were like, did you hear? Did you hear another man was gross again? I'm like, I'm just not that shocked. Tell me something I don't know. Right? And every day it was like another one and another one. Every day was like Christmas Me Too morning. And now I think it's just going to be the Who's Left movement. Like is anybody left? Did anybody not do something gross? Did anybody not jerk off into a succulent? If every car could be like this car, I think we really have a good audience reaction. I think everyone should be a convertible from now on. Oh, there's two convertibles. Nice. Well done, guys. Your parents raised you well. That's the new headboard. I'm in my 30s now. Yeah, who's in their 30s? It's a good age, right? It's a good age because your 30s is when you become a person, right? That's when you become a person. Your 20s, you try on different personality types. You're like, maybe I'm rocker chick. Maybe I'm emo girl. And then you turn 30 and you just get your mom's haircut and call it a day. You're just like, I'm going to be her for the rest of my life. Why fight it? And I don't think it's old, right? 30s isn't old, but we've decided as a society to start saying we're old. The second we turn 30, we're like, that's it. I'm old now. I'm old. And then for 10 years, we keep saying that. We're like, I'm old. I'm old. I'm old. And then you turn 40 and you're like, now I'm old. I could have been young for an extra 10 years, but I wasted saying I was old. Now I've lost 10 extra years where I could have been young. Then you turn 80. You're like, now I'm really old. I could have been just kind of old. Now I'm really old. Then you die. And you're like, I could have been alive for 83 and a half years. Now I'm dead. I can't even have this brilliant thought. So the point is none of us are old because we're still here, right? Still doing this life thing. 20s is good. I don't relate to it now because I'm like, you guys are so cute because you still think you matter, right? The rest of your life is just going to be a very long journey where you find out you matter less and less and less every day. And then you die. Not to give it away, but that's what's coming up. I feel like you spend your 20s sort of waiting for your life to start, right? You're like, next year I'm going to get that big job and my life is going to start. And then another year goes by and you're like, next year I'm going to fall madly in love and my life is going to get started. And then another year goes by and you're like, next year I'm going to get two towels and my life is going to start. And then you turn 30 and you're like, ----, it started. Like this is my life. Like waiting for the bus to come, but you're already on the bus. And you're like, when's the bus getting here? And they're like, you are on it. You are on the bus. And you're like, why am I riding a bus? I definitely don't want to go out as much in my 30s, right? Like going out feels like kind of a big hassle. And I went to a bar the other night with my friend and we lasted about five minutes and we got bored. We're like, you want to go? Yeah, let's get out of here. And as we were walking to our cars, my friend was like, oh my God, Erica, we're getting older. We're not fun anymore. And I was like, no, no, no, no. That's not what's happening. Don't worry. It's not that we're not fun anymore. It's that we're getting older and we're getting wiser and we're starting to realize it was never fun. We just pretended this whole time.