2026 Moisture Festival

Man up, up, speed of sound. Arms up, kick start, keep on driving. Legs out, sit back, safe and sound. Man up, hold tight, driving, speed of sound. Times up, kick start, keep on trying. Legs out, sit back, safe and sound. Now, I want you to draw a picture. Draw a picture of anything in the world. I'm going to listen to you and try and figure out what you're drawing. Begin drawing now. Good, good. I think I'm making that tighter. What am I doing? I don't know how to fix this. Wrong way? I can't, I can't see. Okay, now, there we go. Now, are you almost done? You're done? I am done now. Okay, put it in my hand. Audience, don't say it out loud because I can't hear you. Can the audience see what it is? Yes. Yes, don't say it out loud. Let me see yours. Audience, don't say it out loud. Can the audience see it there? Yes. Do you know what this is? Yes. Okay. Alright, do you own one of these? Do you own one of these? Okay, I heard lots of soft rounded shapes, so they're both living. Is that right? Yes. Okay, straight lines mean something organic or something human made or physical. Soft lines mean organic. This is quite small. Is that right? Yours is small? Smallish. So, they're both larger than giraffes. Is that right? No. Excellent. I'm going to go with it, but I'm worried. Yours is on the water. Does that make sense? There's water nearby? I don't know why I get that. I'm going to go with the main image. Yours is a bunny rabbit? And yours is a dog? Give them a round of applause. Good job. I'll take the marker back. I'll take the marker back. You're nothing but filth. And that makes you a loser, Daddy. But me? I got dreams. I ain't going to be no loser like my Daddy. I'm going to be a winner. I'm going to do it for Oscar. Yes, I'm going to be that Oscar Mayer winner. That is what I'm truly meant to be. A winner. Winner, winner, winner, winner. Oscar! Hot dog! Hot dog! Winner! But when I'm a winner, everyone will be in love with me. Oscar Mayer. The first name in Bologna. I do not have a clue. As long as you're having fun, I'm having fun too. But if you want my autograph, because you like the way I play the guitar, go ask a bus driver first. Because I'll never get you that far. And everybody rides the bus. Everybody that's us. Everybody rides the bus. And everybody thanks the driver. Everybody rides the bus, everybody that's us, everybody rides the bus, and everybody thanks the driver. That's true, that's the price you pay, better than to pray, cause you're a natural, so cold, Bucklees in the Mississippi land. We got God and cotton, we got sons and daughters, we got grit and glory, we got mama's stories, we got strength like towers, we got hope and power. God made woman with an iron hand, raised her up on heaven land. On wake up day, we'll open the curtains to brighten the room, and tell all the preachers it's happening soon. I'm gonna be the most handsome, it's true. On wake up day, on wake up day, look what I have in this bus. A form of left tooth, a pair of clean socks, bashful we'll speak, we'll stop, we'll preside. And I'm gonna have the most beautiful bride, she's gonna wake up and be mine. We're gonna make up for lost time. Sneezy we'll sniffle, happy we'll swoon, we'll head to the mine for a fine honeymoon. Happily ever, you all know the rest. We're pretty brave losers, to say that she learned on wake up day. On wake up day. When they found you a guru, in an effort to find you a new you. Maybe they managed to raise you up to this level, while you're striving to find the right road. One thing you should know, what's hip today, might become fast day. What is hip? Tell me, tell me, do you think you know? What is hip? You and the hip trip. Baby, hit with the hip. What is hip? Oh, since I've come on home, all my body's been a mess. And I miss your ginger hair, and the way you like to dress. Won't you come on over? Stop making a fool out of me. Why don't you come on over, Valerie? Valerie. I was alone, I took a ride, didn't know what I would find there. Another road, where maybe I could see another sign there. And I suddenly see you, and I tell you that I need you. Every single day of my life. You didn't run, you didn't lie, you knew I want to hold you. For had you gone, you knew in time we'd meet again, for I have told you. That you were meant to be near me. Chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall. Tell them all, smoking caterpillar's gone. He's given you the call. Call Valerie, she's ten feet tall. When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go. And you've just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is turning low. You'll ask, and I think she'll know. When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead. And the white knight is talking backwards, and the red queen's up with her head. Remember, what the door mouse said. Feed your head, feed your head. Tell me to stop, I say no, no, no. Tell me to stay, I say go, go, go. I want to be wild, I want to be free. I want to be loved, can you help me? I've got to be wild, I've got to be free. Something's growling inside of me. I can't help it, can't you see? Something's growling and it's got to be free. Here comes my monster, the monster that's inside of me. This is my monster, the monster that's inside of me. It's not a bad thing, it's not a wild thing. Welcome to the Moist Jump Fest. Welcome to our tradition. My name is Boo. I love to swing. Introduce the rest of the show. Now every show. Feeling strong, feeling proud. Let it fly. With your permission. Crowd audition. Do, do, do. Da, da, da, da. Moisture, moisture, moisture. Now, 22 years is a long, long time. But creating art still feels mighty fine. It's all such a lovely ride. Collaboration is a jumping jive. Welcome to the Moist Jump Fest. Welcome to, yeah. Baby used to stay out all night long. Did she now? Made me cry. Aw. She done me wrong. Did she? Broke my little heart. But that's all right. Yeah. Tables turn and now her turn to cry. Because I used to love her, but it's all over now. Uh-huh. Oh, that's right. Because I used to love her, but it's all over now. Woo. Tell me the story. She used to run around. Did she? All over town. Spend my money in her high class gown. But you also paid for it. She put me out.