Chris Evans Is People's Sexiest Man Alive 2022!

Folks, as you know, we are on the brink of a decision that will set our country, our world, on a new path. I'm talking, of course, about who will be People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive in 2022. Now, I have long believed the Sexiest Man Alive is one of the cornerstones of this great nation, and so it is with great humility and gratitude that I am thrilled to announce that People Magazine has decided to award me the incredible honor of announcing the Sexiest Man Alive for a second year in a row, because longtime fans of male sexiness will recall that last year, the persons over at People entrusted the late Joseph Stephen Colbert Sexiness Research Institute to select a worthy candidate, and I took that responsibility very seriously. I and my team of scientific sexperks vetted, and I mean thoroughly vetted, hunky, hunky men, and ultimately bestowed that title on Paul Rudd, but it is time for a new Sexiest Man Alive, because that is Paul Rudd last year, and here he is now. Take him down, Jimmy. Now, we here at the Sexiness Research Institute have been hard at work trying to find someone qualified to follow in the sexy footsteps of sexy men like Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Michael B. Jordan, and Channing B. Rocking That Tank Top Tatum. We sifted through countless candidates, numbers were crunched, abs were crunched, and I'm happy to say that we have narrowed it down to just two sexy contenders, so without further ado, the finalists for People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive are, Joe, please. The host of last week tonight, John Oliver, movie star and incandescent supernova of hotness, Chris Evans, and the winner this year's Sexiest Man Alive is Chris Evans! Count, stop the steal! Better luck next time, John. Unfortunately, Chris Evans' sexiness couldn't be here tonight, but we did receive a very special message from the set of his upcoming film. Hey America, it's Dwayne Johnson, also known as The Rock, also known as, most importantly, The Sexiest Man Alive. Now, I just heard the amazing news, the fantastic news, that my good friend, I gotta keep this quiet, Chris Evans was just named Sexiest Man Alive from People Magazine 2022. Let's go congratulate him right now, come on. The Sexiest Man Alive, look at you, man, you look good. Thanks, means a lot, means a lot coming from a former Sexiest Man Alive. What do you mean? Well, I just mean, you know, thanks for the support. Of course, yeah. As a former Sexiest Man Alive, it just means a lot. Um, I never give the title up. Weren't you Sexiest Man Alive in 2016? I'm Sexiest Man Alive in perpetuity, which means for life. Okay. Yeah, but I, I thought I was just named. Let me ask you a question, brother. Okay. Am I alive? Yeah. I'm still alive. Am I still sexy? Clearly. You bet your sexy mouth I am. We're sharing. We're gonna share it. We're sharing it. All right. Are you ready? I'll take it. Last thing, say something sexy. Go vote tomorrow. It is sexy. Ladies and gentlemen, here he is. Oh, this ash fell. Ladies and gentlemen, let's get that back up. Come on, come on, come on. Let me help you. This is a big moment. There we go. All right, you ready? I'm all set. Oh, we got it. Five minutes later. All right. What I said was, yes. Go vote tomorrow. Ladies and gentlemen, The Sexiest Man Alive and Chris Evans. Thank you to Dwayne The Rock Johnson. And congrats to Chris The Sexy Evans unofficially being named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. Here's the first look at his cover. There you go. For more sexy information, go to people.com. And you can pick up this week's Sexiest Man Alive issue this Friday. We'll be right back with sexy runner-up, John Oliver.