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Video Summary
AI GeneratedThis song is an emotional exploration of mental instability, toxic love, and the struggle with self-worth. The lyrics depict a cycle of pain and dependency, where the narrator grapples with internal chemical imbalances and a volatile relationship characterized by gaslighting and emotional bruising.
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But I've known you too long
It hurts to watch your blue eyes fade to grey
As you fade away
Yeah I'm about to fade away
Cause every time I wake up I feel like it's Monday
Something's going wrong with all the chemicals up in my brain
All of a sudden I don't look at anything the same way
Got a build up of my thoughts sitting in an ashtray
I'm sorry that I'm so inconvenient, okay
Just let me be me and I'll stay out of your way
I can see the way you look at me, I'm such a disgrace
I never really asked to be brought into this place
You wanna love me, well then baby have a taste
All the highs and the lows, no you'll never be the same
I don't really wanna hurt you but I can't control the pain
If you're sticking by my side maybe we could be okay
Okay, okay, maybe you could be the change I need today
I promise that I've never felt this way
I really hope that you will choose to stay through all the pain
I know you told your friend you're not okay
And tell me what's wrong and why you never said you felt that way
Cause you try to stay strong and fake a smile until I look away
But I've known you too long, it hurts to watch your blue eyes fade to grey
As you fade away
I think I need help, I'm going through hell
I fake like I'm fine but I know you can't tell
Like nothing I've found, my mind overwhelms
I think that I'm broken but I hope you can't help
I know I'm not perfect but some days I feel more and more worthless
Baby you make me feel nervous
If I still have you, I have a purpose
It's all worth it
I know you told your friend you're not okay
And tell me what's wrong and why you never said you felt that way
Cause you try to stay strong and fake a smile until I look away
But I've known you too long, it hurts to watch your blue eyes fade to grey
As you fade away
And I play dead and I stay dead
Maybe you'll get sick of being the monster
Out of my head, under my bed
Think you're something out of my nose
Sitting right there
But if I lay down and I play dead and I stay dead
Then will you get bored of killing me?
Silhouettes of you are like a tawn
Never really know just what you want
With you I don't ever feel calm
I can feel the sweat inside my palms
Play with me like cats and a string
You don't understand the pain it brings
You don't ever wanna give me wings
You don't ever wanna set me free
You know I'm addicted to you
And it's twisted you've been gifted with the evil voodoo
Got me coming back for more even when I've been screwed
Dolls full of pins, pierce my heart straight through
I got issues in my head
I like you in my bed but you keep me on read
Everything is like a test
I better not text or I'll come off desperate
But if I lay down and I play dead and I stay dead
Baby you'll get sick of being a monster
Out of my head, under my bed
Thinking something out of my limits
Sitting right there
But if I lay down and I play dead and I stay dead
Then will you get bored of killing me?
So if I play dead, will you regret
Everything that you did, that you said
I don't think you understand what you're doing
And my heart's black and blue from the bruising
I feel like when I'm with you I'm losing
I feel like you think that this amusing
Sitting there gaslighting and confusing
Was it me? Is it me? Am I deluded?
I'm the one who's always sorry, the conclusion
Even though I offer all of the solutions
I wish you loved me like I love you, it's stupid
When I'm alone with you I never feel lucid
