12 Minutes of Jim Carrey at His Absolutely Funniest!

With a face that can morph into practically anything and charisma that can't be contained, this video is proof of why Jim Carrey belongs at the very top of comedy's hall of fame. What throws most people off is exactly what fuels Jim Carrey and this moment proves it perfectly. If dating's been a struggle lately, Jim Carrey once offered some very unconventional dating advice. Use at your own discretion. Without them getting the wrong idea, walk into a singles bar like this. See, this puts out a definite message, you know? It says, listen, listen, I could care less, but my crotch would like to buy you a beer. Hi, how are you? Are you? Yes, he is. You're the one that f***ed my mother. You're on camera. It's okay. After a long break from the spotlight, Jim Carrey returned unrecognizable and was met with a question he didn't see coming. The question is not, why are you growing a beard? The question is, why am I growing a beard and still shaving my balls? Really doesn't make any sense at all. I think it's a, it's like a balance thing, you know? It's like, you know, if I'm shaved down and then I got to do this, you know? So if I ever shave my face again, you'll know. There's a full beard somewhere. The funny thing about it is I was always into this, you know, visualization and stuff. I've been working on, working on something. Yeah, this is, this is new. I'm kind of into real estate now. I just started renaming the cities and countries. There's, there's Jimbabwe. Jim, Jimdonesia. Maskagascar is going to be a fun place, you know? When Life handed Jim Carrey lemons, he skipped the lemonade and chose something else entirely. Well, what we have here is lemon. Wow. And a warm little towel for your fingers afterwards. I'd like you to eat that lemon. How's that? I made lemonade. Yeah. I wanted to talk to you because you're amazing and I'm so excited for you. It's incredible that you've gotten as far as you have with your obvious physical disadvantages. While Jim Carrey has a shelf full of accolades, there was one missing and safe to say that it deeply bothered him. I'm here tonight to present the Academy Award for Outstanding Achievement in Film Editing. That's all I'm here to do. I didn't expect that to happen. Winning the Oscar is not the most important thing in the world. It's an honor just to be no... Oh, God. Celebrities can easily get tired of hearing the same questions over and over. And Jim Carrey is no exception. Reporters, do they ask you the same questions day after day? I'm literally 10 times a day. You do. You get a lot of the same questions over and over again. But I don't mind, you know, as long as I can keep my answers changing and different. Like, ask me if I like working with the animals. Oh, OK. Now, do you like working with the animals? Is that fun? Yes, I do. Especially the monkeys. They're wonderfully unpredictable. Ask me again. Do you like working... What do you want from me? Kind of like a prying mantis, it just shoves its food into its mouth and little tiny mouth parts break it apart, right? Exactly. That's the move. Very good. Put your hand out, James. For decades, Hollywood has relied upon a special kind of magic to conjure movie heroes of all shapes and sizes. Of course, this magic I'm referring to is LSD. I might be reading that wrong. It's animation. Wow, that was way off. Sometimes when you watch this stuff, it's like you're... Anyway. It was hard to tell whether he was flexing or mocking Hollywood's superficial side in this speech. Either way, Jim Carrey didn't give it a second thought. And when I dream, I don't just dream any old dream. No, sir. I dream about being three-time Golden Globe-winning actor Jim Carrey. Comedy often hides truth, and Jim Carrey has always used humor to mask real feelings, sometimes with consequences. We had a thing called the kidding face. The kidding face? Kidding face lets your friend know that you don't really mean what you're saying, and then he does the kidding face back to you, letting you know that he understands that you're kidding. Well, it would be like a, you're an idiot. Try it, go ahead. You look stupid bald. But being Jim Carrey, he couldn't help himself and flipped the switch in classic fashion. That's just the one thing that I didn't really want you to touch on, and you did. It's all funny. Puppet master, you know, running everybody's lives, coming into another country. Ooh, I own the place. Big deal. And guess what else? No one likes you, Conan. No one likes you, and you're going to die alone! They said, just go. It'll be all right. Just get a mustache or something. Get a little disguise. You know, so I got this mustache, and I applied it, and I had thick glasses. I had, you know, I had a baseball cap. So I got inside there, and I was doing pretty good. And I was, hey, I'm pulling this off. Maybe this is the way I can live for the rest of my life. I got up to the vendor who's selling all this stuff, and I waited, and he didn't seem to be doing anything. So I looked up, and he was staring at me like this. Acting alongside Meryl Streep is daunting and nerve-wracking for most actors, but Jim Carrey operates on a completely different level. At first, I was a little nervous. You know, I didn't know what she'd be like. But lucky for me, she was open and willing to learn. Remember the time when you were in the middle of that scene, and you were all over the place, hamming it up, eating the damn scenery, and I said, hey, Meryl, less is more. I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press for acknowledging comedy. Jim, you know this. It's weird. Normally, they look at comedians as, like, very special people. Thank you very much. And you allow us to be in the room with the adults you nominated. You even have a category for us, comedy and dancing. There's a lot of dancers who could have been up here tonight, but they didn't make it. They say the richer you are, the louder your laugh gets. That's really good. And Jim Carrey figured that fact out pretty early on. It's a bit of pressure. I noticed that it changes you in little ways. Like, it's changed the way I laugh at parties. Oh, really? I used to go, I used to go, that's really funny. You know, now I go, oh, beautiful. You guys heard this one? But when it comes to laughs, Jim Carrey always said nobody topped his dad. I'm going to be a great character when I get old, you know? Like, my father is the happiest man on the face of the earth. That's great. He laughs after everything you say. And he's deaf in one ear, so he dips and laughs. Dips and laughs. Ruff! Don't worry about that Ebola thing. Jim Carrey fully committed to the Jim Morrison persona during this award speech, and his appreciation went somewhere unexpected. Last, but definitely most important to me, I'd like to thank all the ladies. There's some fine looking quack in this room tonight, I'll tell you that much. After years of fake headlines, Jim Carrey started turning gossip into comedy, showing just how nonchalant he really is. I want to tell people that if you go to a newsstand and you read about me in these rags, you know, 90% of what you're reading is absolute garbage. It's total fabrication. Check it out. Said to be romantically involved with Dumb and Dumber co-star Lauren Holly. Now, I don't know where they dream this stuff up. I mean, so we sleep together four or five times a week. Does that mean we're romantically involved? Of course not. No, no. We're just good friends. You're a granddad, unbelievably. I am a granddad, yes, I am. But I tell him, don't call me grandpa, because every time, and it's hilarious because he'll just keep doing it because it bothers me. I say, don't call me grandpa, and he'll go grandpa, and every time he calls me, I get a little older. Who are you? But I just, I go out, and I meet people, and it's always cool. You know, most of the time, you know, there's every once in a while, there's somebody who asks for a little too much, you know. Like, what do you mean? Like more than an autograph? Yeah, well, they'll say something like, you know, hey, wait here. I'm going to go have some kids, then bring them back to meet you. You know, something like, oh, Mr. Carey, if my friends would kill me if I ever told them that I met you and I didn't get your underwear. Jim, let's talk about your childhood for a moment. I imagine this was an extremely painful time for you. Here I go. I promised myself I wasn't going to do it. I got to work on it. Picking a celebrity dinner guest? Anthony Hopkins' death stare probably puts him near the bottom of the list, and Jim Carrey can confirm. Yeah, I once had dinner with Anthony Hopkins. I invited him over for dinner, and he accepted. He came over, and we had dinner together, and I told him that that's how I approached Ace Ventura. It was a smart bird, and he went, I do that. Hannibal Lecter was a cross between a crocodile and a spider with infinite patience. Infinite time to just wait for the perfect moment to strike. Frankly, it got a little creepy. It really did. It started getting creepy. I started going, more roast beef, man? There's plenty in the kitchen. You know, their parent says, you know who that is? That's the Grinch. And I go, I must find a way to stop Christmas from beginning. Hope you enjoyed this one.