How to romanticize your life this summer (without faking it)

Hello my loves, welcome back to the RP channel. Today if you are returning, if you are back, happy summer! Today we're talking about how to romanticize your summer without faking it, okay? Because what a lot of people do this summer is try to romanticize their summer without actually focusing on the fundamentals of having a good life in general, but specifically a great, incredible summer. I used to heavily misunderstand what it meant to romanticize your life, and I believe that's because if you have to fake it, that means that you're kind of missing the point. So let's get into today all of the things that you can do if you want to romanticize your life. Let's get into it. Number one, being present in your life is going to be the foundation that you lay. Now before you click out of this video because you're like, girl I was coming here for some interesting tips, you're giving me such generic advice, just everybody says be present, be present, what does it actually mean? Let me tell you, the reason that I'm saying that this is the foundation that you lay is because no matter what season of life that you are in, no matter what you try to do in your life to make your life more interesting, more fun, more exhilarating, and all that stuff, it's never gonna work if you don't know how to be present in your days. Being present means slowing down your days, not rushing through everything, and actually noticing what's around you. Everybody knows those people, and I know you've probably been on vacation with them, who literally you go on a vacation with them to come to another country, you guys spent the money to enjoy and have the best time ever, and these people will not stop complaining about a damn thing. Nothing ever satisfies these people, it's like everything is a problem, and it's so annoying to be around them, and it's because some people no matter where you take them, their mind is always going to be somewhere else. If you're enjoying something really pretty like a scenery, they're like thinking about something else, and then they're like, oh well it's not that great, because like you know they're not mentally here, they're not mentally here in the present moment, and that is why they're missing it. Nothing in life feels special when mentally you're somewhere else, nothing in life, no matter what relationships you get into, friendships you get into, you will not be able to bask in the beautiful glory that is the presence of somebody else. Let's say that you're connecting with a friend, you're trying to be present in a conversation with your partner, you will not be able to do that if you don't learn the art of being present, okay? This is why some people are absolutely horrendous listeners, it's like anything you tell them, somehow the story always circles its way back to themselves. They're not asking questions, they're not in listening intently, they're not listening intently, and it's a bore to be around people like that, because you want people who are here to enjoy this life. What else are we here for? And if you don't practice this beautiful art, it's going to be very very very impossible to do anything in this life. Self-development in and of itself is literally you going on a journey of learning how to be present, right? I've had about six jobs by now, I'm 22 years old for reference, and when I left the workforce, I realized two things. First is that I'm such a creative, I realize I'm very much a creative, and anything that doesn't itch that part of my brain just doesn't feel purposeful to me and I can't do it, okay? Second one was that I realized, you know what, maybe I would have had a better time if I had just been a little bit more present in my jobs, like throughout the duration of being in the workforce. Maybe I would have had better days, maybe I would have not been so cynical. I always felt like I was powerless and out of control, but in reality I was never enjoying any of the jobs that I was doing because mentally I was always somewhere else. Granted, I was always thinking about business ideas for some reason when I was working these jobs, but still, when I was interacting with somebody, like there were some people who I was present with and then other people I wouldn't be so present with, you know? It probably would have made my life a lot more easier if I just was more attentive with people and attentive with myself, attentive with the job, because it's not about what you're doing, it's about how you're doing it and I know it's annoying to hear, but it's true. No matter what you do in life, it can always be enjoyable if you have that sense of presence that you bring into it. Now, here are some things that you can do to try and bring about this sort of presence in your life, okay? Number one is to go on walks without your phone. I know for some people this sounds a little bit scary, especially if you're somebody who's a little bit more paranoid. You're like, oh, what if something happens, girl? I don't have my phone on me. For me, I think it's very peaceful and to be honest, I don't like to think that anything's going to happen to me and I like to think a little bit delusionally and think, you know what, I'm protected, trees are protecting me, everything's protecting me, that's just how I am. So I go out with my phone a lot, like when I'm walking, nature walks and all that stuff, that's the only time that I don't have my phone on me. First of all, I'm a creator on social media. I spend literally all my days staring at a screen and then on the other end of things, I have like people to get back to, FaceTime calls to respond to, all of which I'm very grateful for. Technology was meant to be part of every single part of our life. We would have had it for 100 years instead of how long, however long we've had technology for, okay? I was thinking for a second that it's already been 100 years, but we're not there yet. Oh my god, no, no, no, no, no. There is a technique that I heard about a couple years ago called the color walk and I didn't even know it was called this, but I used to do it because I heard about it and it actually really, really works. Basically, you're going to go on a walk and you're going to pick a color and mentally or even out loud, you're going to name the color every time you see it. So if your color is green, which is the one that I do, because green is literally everywhere when you're walking outside, especially during summer, you know that tree is green, this little label on the mailbox is green, this little rock has a green stain mark on it. I don't know, you're just labeling it mentally or out loud. And what this does is shift your focus from your internal thoughts, which is like you're overthinking, you're ruminating, oh my god, this is going to happen, that's going to happen, to the external world. And while I was researching for this very video topic, I also read about this and I thought it was really interesting. It engages your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps lower your cortisol. Okay, so if you're going on a walk, either you do it without your phone or you go on a color walk where you name colors or you do both without a phone and you name colors. Get outside of your own damn head. You know, for so long of my life, especially, I realized how long I was living in my own head and I was like, you know, if I just stepped outside of my mind, how much more I would have been able to accomplish. Oh my god. Do things a little slower on purpose. Dedicate days to having slow mornings. When I was working full-time, I would still dedicate days to having slow mornings. Obviously, it was very hard because when you work full-time, you're already exhausted and all you want to do is sleep in and do all this other stuff, which is part of the reason I had to leave the workforce because I just wasn't up for that. I wanted my freedom and all that stuff. I essentially would just get my work week over with and I would dedicate like a Sunday morning to literally just sitting and sleeping in for a little bit, going downstairs, making some tea, opening up the window, opening up the door, letting my cat outside, doing some journaling, some mindfulness, or I would go on a walk. It was so stinking nice and honestly, I think that's what kept me sane for so long is like dedicating those slow days. If you are fortunate enough to have more time so you don't just have the morning to yourself, you have like an entire day to yourself, for example, or like a reset day, use those days to really hone in on becoming present and doing things slowly, especially if the other six days of the week you are running around, rushing, trying to get things done. I get it, okay? As somebody who's an overachiever and a perfectionist, I like to think that my brain is always turned on, especially with my channel now and the business and stuff like that. I really have my brain on 24-7, so I have to intentionally and actively find ways that I can turn off my brain and my body. And I do that usually in the morning, so I dedicate the entire morning to just going to the gym, going to yoga. You can follow me on my Instagram if you want to keep up with like my fitness stuff and like personal style and all that stuff. I don't know, it's up to you. You don't have to, but it's up to you. Honestly, I believe that everybody has time for it. I know that a lot of people will claim that they don't have time for it, but listen, if you scroll on your phone for 30 minutes, I want to check your screen time. I want to see what your social media screen time is because you don't tell me that you don't have time if you've been scrolling for 30 minutes, all right? We're not going to do that over here. We as human beings have so many responsibilities. Nobody has time for goddamn anything. Nobody has time for anything in the world today. We make time for what we care about. We put time, money, energy, and our all, our blood, sweat, and tears into the things that matter to us as human beings. We're very simple. We're very, very simple. If we care about something enough, we will put our time and energy into it. We will find a way. Even if we have zero minutes left of the day, we will find a way because that's just how we are as human beings. We're very persistent. Let moments be boring instead of constantly stimulating yourself. When you stimulate yourself, you don't have any room, any time to listen to what your brain has to say. I know some people are like, well, that's the point, girl. I don't want to listen to what my brain has to say. If you sit with your mind long enough, you will realize it's really not that bad. I say that as somebody who used to literally resent being alone so, so much, but when you sit with your mind, it's going to be a lot, but one day you're going to realize that it's not that bad and maybe, just maybe, you can make your mind your best friend. Sorry for interrupting today's video, but I want to introduce the lovely sponsors of our video today, which is ZLUL. I always talk about the importance of accessorizing over just buying new clothes all the damn time because I don't see the point of it. You can save so much more money if you just spend more money on accessories and use it to diversify your outfits and that's exactly what I do and glasses are one of the ways that I do that. Not only that, but because of the nature of my work, I spend a lot of time on a screen, day in and day out. I'm editing, doing back and stuff for the channel and I need to wear blue light glasses at night or else my sleep is going to be horrendamondo. I am currently wearing the willow and these are the ones that I personally chose for myself. I love these glasses. I don't know why it makes me look so smart, it makes me look so elegante and these are in the color brown for anybody that's wondering. These are also blue light blocking glasses specifically. You can also get them in prescription or non-prescription depending on what you want, but if you're somebody who spends a lot of time on screens, blue light blocking glasses I highly, highly recommend. There's studies that show that they're proven to lower your cortisol as well. I decided to wear these ones for the video because I thought I looked really cute with my outfit, but I am going to try on a few more for you guys. The ones I'm wearing right now are called the Wesley and I love, love, love, love, love, love the print on them. This is like a tortoise, tortoise kind of print. They have a huge variety of frames so that you can actually find an aesthetic that matches yours and the best part about it is that they're very affordable so that you can buy multiple frames for all different kinds of outfits and styles and hairstyles and all that stuff. These ones I'm wearing are called the Lamar and they're like a reddish type of color on the top and then it goes into blue and brown. So, so pretty. If these were in boots, like if was like a boot design with like these specific colors, I would so buy them because I love this color combination. These ones I'm wearing are called the Nevaeh and these are like a tortoise blue, brown, sorry, not blue, brown print. Super, super pretty. I'm usually not a big frame person, but for some reason I really like the fact that these are huge. Their blue light frames specifically are really popular for anybody that's spending their time studying, spending a lot of time online, editing, doing anything that has to do with working with a computer or a phone. This is a second pair that I chose for myself and it's called the Connie. I love the clear frames. They just make me feel like a scientist, you know, I just feel so smart. With Zulu, I've noticed that a lot of people are using these for accessories as well, not just vision because I think their frames are just so, there's so much versatility. This one that I'm wearing here is called the Rods and this was my mom's favorite because she loved the detailing on the side with the sparkles and these are in the color black for anybody that's wondering. And finally, I am wearing the Grover. These are my sister's favorite because these lenses just look so good on everybody. These are in the color beige and again, blue light blocking glasses. Love to wear these at night. If you're interested in purchasing any of the frames that I just tried on, you can find it at Zulu and I will link the link below. Thank you so much to them for sponsoring today's video and let's get back into the video. Number two, performing versus living. Let this be your wake-up call for the summer, okay? Because what I see a lot of people do is record their entire summer. They're like taking videos, pictures here and there of like every single thing. It's like This is more so about wanting your life to look good instead of feel good and having that be the intention of taking these photos and videos and posting them on Instagram is the worst way to go about it because you're never going to enjoy yourself that way. The funny thing is it doesn't even happen with just influencers because I see that a lot of the time. It happens with regular people too. Like with whoever you follow on Instagram, you're trying to make your life look better than what it actually is. You're not romanticizing your life here. You're performing a version of it which you don't want to do because it never ever feels good. I take a lot of really pretty pictures that do not see the light of day, all right? It's on my camera, it's on my phone, it's on my laptop. They do not see the light of day. I forget to post them on Instagram. If I remember then you'll probably see it up there but most of the time I don't or sometimes I post it on my Pinterest but really and truly I can't be bothered. I really can't be bothered. Let me tell you why. I take those pictures for myself. I take those pictures to capture memories. I'm not saying that posting pretty pictures is a bad thing. Absolutely do it but what is your intention? Why are you posting those pictures? Are you trying to make your life look like one thing when it actually feels like another or does it genuinely feel enjoyable and you're capturing genuine moments in real time? One of the things I'm really grateful for by the way and I wrote this down because I think it's so important for other people to hear as well. I'm so grateful that I'm in an industry where everything is all about aesthetics, okay? And yet when I open my Instagram, I don't think my life is any less than somebody who I see on Instagram that's flying a private jet or flying first class or getting all flown out to these countries by these brands. I don't think my life is any less. I am in the same industry. I still create content but I don't think that my life is any less of quality or of is deprived of love or deprived of luxury or deprived of just lifeness, life energy in general because that's not the way I see it. The way that I see my life is that my life is so beautiful and I love it so much just because everything was built on such intentionality. The real flex is loving the life you live, not performing it for others. You will never hear anybody honestly openly come out and say this on Instagram. Maybe, some people do, you know, more people are waking up to it which is really nice but most people who do like um you know social media for a living, like Instagram specifically, it's all about like what looks good on Instagram rather than how it feels. I have personally talked to people who have literally told me that it's so so miserable to have their life look like one thing when it feels like another. You don't want to be one of those people. Number three, the art of practicing private joy. Not everything needs to be shared. Some moments feel better when they're just yours. Do you understand how sexy it is to bask in the beauty of something without nobody else seeing you do it? Nobody else even knowing that you are doing it. The more private your joy is, the more real it starts to feel, okay? And I'm not saying that you cannot share it with your ones, you cannot share with your partner, your family, those things are absolutely true. I love to do that as well but here's the thing. There's, for example, a lot of things that I do for myself that perhaps, maybe, I don't know, would probably go viral on social media if I were to record myself but I don't. Those moments are for myself. I could care less about whether or not somebody is seeing me do the thing, okay? The reason I don't do it is because in my mind it belongs to me. There has to be a certain level of protection that you want in these moments of life but not only that, it's just sexy, okay? It's so sexy to secretly be doing something that you know other people would really admire but in reality you're just enjoying it and you're not recording it or posting it because you want to enjoy it for yourself. I'm not saying that you can't post what you want to post. I'm saying don't post every single moment of your bloody damn life because it is so miserable to live that way. It is so incredibly beautiful to live a life you know is chef's kiss but has everyone thinking that it's mundane and boring. I was watching an interview on Cillian Murphy, one of my favorite actors. Love him, gotta love him. He said this really interesting thing that I was like, oh he just gets it. He just gets the wave, okay? Cillian gets the wave. Did I say Cillian or just say Cillian? I don't know, it's Cillian though. I learned that recently. He said that I think the more boring you are in real life the less people are interested in you. I tell people I have an extraordinary boring life, it's actually incredibly exciting. That's what he said. He is an incredible actor, okay? And he even mentioned in another video that he literally goes out and does normal people stuff so that he can get a better read on how to improve his characters. Something along the lines of that, okay? If one of the most incredible actors are saying that, don't take my word for it, take his. It's better to live a life that's more private and have everybody else thinking that it's boring than to have it reverse. To live a life that's incredibly boring but I'm having everybody think it's so exciting because you're making it look that way when it isn't actually. Fourth way to romanticize your life this summer is to focus on mood boards but focus on how they feel, not how they look. A lot of people make mood boards based on aesthetics, outfits, trips, visuals and things like that and that's very fun but you know what? This year for 2026 I made my mood board based on how I wanted to feel. No longer did I put actual, well I did put goals on there but I didn't put a lot of goals like milestones that I had to reach, more so it was a feeling of something. A girl on a beach, a girl meditating and praying at the beach, a girl doing her Pilates looking like she's having the best time ever, riding a horse. I had all these things that were encapsulating freedom and expression of self and all that stuff because that's really what I wanted to tap into this year. You've got to feel the emotions of the person that would have the thing that you're looking for. So it's not about looking a certain way, it's not about saying the affirmations, it's more so about what are the emotions that you need to tap into that are the emotions of the person that has the thing that you want. Instead of asking what do I want my summer to look like, I want you to ask yourself what do I want to feel like this summer. It doesn't have to be a lot, if you're somebody who's going through a hard time right now it could literally be something as simple as you feeling better about yourself, you finally moving on from something, forgiving someone for example. It could be something as small as that but what do you want to feel like? This is going to make you capture a mood instead of just capturing a visual of something. I promise you this is the thing that's going to change the game. It did for me, it 100% will for you. Number five, creating versus consuming. Constant scrolling disconnects you from your own life. If there's one thing that you need to take away from this video, girl you need to work on that scrolling. You need to and I, listen, I don't go on Instagram or TikTok because that's not really my jam but I do, I absolutely do scroll. Who is messaging me? Stop this, we're filming a video right now. I do use YouTube Reels, I scroll on YouTube Reels a lot or shorts, sorry not Reels, shorts and it's because I think that my algorithm just knows me so well and I'm like trying to make you, trying to make it unlearn me because I'm like why do you know me so well because now it just captures my attentions with like philosophies and nature and like cat videos and all this stuff that I'm like get away, stop. The reason that this is so detrimental to romanticizing your summer is because you're watching others live instead of living life yourself. You're watching others live instead of living it yourself and the thing is you cannot romanticize your life if you're always consuming somebody else's. How? Where's the time if you're stuck in bed underneath your pillows, underneath your bed because you're like so cozy here? No, no. The best thing to do in this situation is to put limits on your phone. I know, I know because I know you just want to press remind me again in 15 minutes, remind me again in an hour, remind me again, you know what ignore the time limit for today. I know I've been through the whole process all right but the thing is you have to keep trying relentlessly to break that habit. It is literally an addiction and it's a very very dangerous one at that because it completely takes away your creativity, it completely takes away your livelihood, your wantingness to live life. Please, please, please make sure you work on this habit okay? It's one of the things that are top of my list right now and I barely spend time on YouTube anymore for that reason because I've just I've just been like no, get away from me. I don't want to watch the cat videos right now. If you feel tempted to log into socials literally I want you to burst through your front door and go on a damn walk. Go and do the color walk that I just told you about okay? Do anything to make sure the attention is towards how you are living your life instead of how it's looking towards everyone else. Make it a life that's enjoyable for yourself, make it a life that's going to make you want to wake up in the morning and actually live it and that is entirely up to you, it's your responsibility. Tip number six for how to romanticize your life this summer is narrowing your focus. This is going to be the thing that ties everything together okay? Pick one habit. For example, I just said stop scrolling. If that's the habit that you want to work on this summer, hone in on that habit. We overestimate how much we can do in a certain amount of time as human beings, especially if you're somebody that's an overachiever. You might be somebody that underestimates but a lot of the time people overestimate right? They think I'm going to have like, I'm going to wake up, I'm going to do this, this and this. So they have 10 different habits that they're working on for the entire summer. Summer's two months of the year, especially if you're in school that's how you think of it right? Like usually summer's two months of the year. You cannot build that many habits and sustain it long term if you're trying to pick it up and just go through them like they're freaking candy. When I first started on self-involvement, I started by reading every day. I was like okay I'm going to read at least a little bit every single day and then I went okay I'm going to make my bed every single day and then that was like a month later and then a month later I was like okay I'm going to work out every day. You have to focus on habit stacking instead of just being someone that's like I'm going to do 10 habits in a day. That's obviously not realistic and it's going to make you feel burnt out and overwhelmed and then the thing is you're going to go 10 steps back because you're going to be like oh my god I can't stick to anything so that means I'm no good and you're going to believe or your mind is going to convince you that you cannot actually do the thing that you want to do because you try to pick up 10 habits instead of just one. Focus on the one habit which is what I mean by narrowing your focus because it's not about overwhelming yourself. Pick three things for the entire summer I would recommend that are actually going to make your life feel better. Three things are going to make your life feel better and focus on that make that the three themes of your entire summer and do everything based on that. Examples of this could be fixing your sleep for example that's something that a lot of people struggle with especially if you're getting out of school could be to move your body it could be to speak more confidently. Let me tell you a little tip okay the real secret to being disciplined because discipline is so sexy and all of us want to be disciplined right is having two versions of the routine. So for example my routine literally consists of me just waking up I meditate I go to the gym or I go to yoga for an hour or sometimes I do both depending on how much time I have I come home and then I basically start my work day and then I will cook some food I will journal I will read I will do some editing some late night editing or something like that I'll call up a friend whatever it is that's part of my routine right. Some days I don't even have the energy to leave my damn house I don't always have the energy to do all the stuff that I need to do right so then what do I do I have a lazy version of my exact routine I still have to do work I know that but what can I do that will take away some of the other things that will make it a little less overwhelming for me and for my body what am I going to do to make sure that I still have some sort of sustained life force energy and I'm not just pushing myself to do something that I absolutely cannot do or my body specifically cannot do this is the reason that I'm saying this and it's because a lot of people rely on motivation and you know that diagram that went around on social media of discipline and motivation I will put it up here that's like one of my favorite diagrams to ever exist or this picture in general because it shows you such an accurate depiction of what discipline actually is you're not always going to be on a high you're not always going to be in a low sometimes you're in the middle but discipline is doing it anyway when I'm talking to myself and I'm trying to you know hype myself up and all that stuff this is literally what I say to myself I'm like nobody's asking you to do perfectly you just got to do it and whatever that looks like on that given day based on the abilities that you have maybe you're sick maybe you're whatever if you're sick rest though rest that's that's not the same thing but if you're down if you're in a rut if you're in whatever it may be that's making you feel a certain way just try your best on that given day but as long as you move because you know why because depression hates a moving target depression hates a moving target so move baby girl move that is all for today's video I love you guys so much you can purchase my fem focus guide in my stand store link down below and you can also book a one-to-one call with me if you are interested if you want personalized advice I'm in the editing process of my book right now but it's taking a very lengthy time because I'm a perfectionist like I said guys so it's taking me some time but it's going to be out very soon so stay tuned I will see you guys in the next video