Meet Jeff's Son

This is insane. This is crazy. You made it, man. You made it in life. I'm the biggest fan. You made it to the Jeff and Jason podcast. Are we actually recording? We are. Oh, so this is the start of the situation? I just wanted to take it all in. I didn't even want to tell you we were recording because I was hoping that you guys would just start going. And then about 20 minutes in, I'd go, oh, we've been recording. That's my favorite podcast move. Oh my God. Are we on? Yeah, we've been on. We've been on for a while. We've been, oh yeah. That's an amazing view we got going here. This is pretty good. Don't worry about that. I don't think we need to rush it. Don't worry about the view. No, we don't talk about the view. You don't talk about it? No, why would we talk about it? Nobody would understand. I need a list of stuff. Yeah, no. What do you think about the view? Yeah, I think it's pretty great. I think I'm surprised you guys don't get lost just looking at that view. Yeah, Wyatt goes out there sometimes and we'll just catch him out there just staring. Yeah. How is Wyatt? I'm excited to see him. He's good. He's good. I didn't hear from him today. I don't know where he is. Really? Yeah. Really? He doesn't call me. I mean, people should know that Max has known Wyatt since they were born. Born? Yeah. Like literally born. Yeah, we had him at the same time. Yeah. Graduated at the same time, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, Max is March and Wyatt's January. My favorite story about them is when you had like a third birthday for Wyatt at the house and Max is there and you had a musician at the party. Do you remember that? Sure. Guitar Mike, his name? I mean, no, but yeah. His name was Guitar Mike. Okay, okay. And he was like a grizzlied dude. Kid's performer? Kid's performer, but almost out of central casting of maybe- What was his repertoire? What? What was his repertoire? He's a Guitar Mike. He could do anything. He'd sing anything. He could do anything? He could sing anything. His rep was anything. Good word. He would sing anything and he would sing all these kid songs. And then Max was like, really, because Max loved music and he was really into it. And we played all this music for Max and we played a lot of Beatles songs for him. Okay. And there was one song that Max loved and it was an obscure Beatles song. Okay, which one? It was called Dr. Robert. Dr. Robert. Okay. And it was a song that people didn't understand was about, yeah, he'll get you anything you need, Dr. Robert. And it was the Beatles' drug doctor. Drug dealer. He was his drug dealer. I obviously didn't know. They were all on amphetamines and no one knew it. And that was what the song was about, Dr. Robert. So we're all... It's like the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round. That was the stuff that... And all these three-year-olds are like... And they were totally loving it. And then he was like, hey, kids. He was like, long hair, goatee, Guitar Mike. And he's like, any of you kids have any requests? And then Max goes, Dr. Robert. Wow. And then Guitar Mike was like, excuse me? Did he drop a voice or something? No, he totally played Dr. Robert. And you were like seeing Dr. Robert. And all these three-year-olds were like, how about a drug dealer? Yeah, he goes right into Helter Skelter. You guys took me to a Beatles tribute concert when I was like three. And you thought it was the real Beatles? Oh, amazing. And so some kid at a birthday party was like, yeah, no, two of them are dead. And I was like, what? What are you talking about? I was like, no, dude, two of them are dead. He's like, five. I'm like, that's not true. I saw them like a year ago. Yeah, I saw them with the Wiggles. Was this recently? Or was that Descanso Garden? Yeah, I saw the Beatles at Descanso Garden. Oh, man. We were playing in the sand. I was like, this kid's a liar. This kid is lying to me right now. I was so, so distraught. It's really funny. This is surreal for me. I don't know if I can talk. This is pretty crazy. I'm the biggest, biggest All Great Things fan. I listen to you guys every week on the train. Do we even say that Max is your son? This is my son. Oh, yeah. It's a great way to catch up with my dad. I don't have to call him anymore. I just listen to the podcast. I remember the first few weeks of you doing this, I told Jason this yesterday, I would call you and you'd just tell me all the same stories. And I was like, I've heard these. Do you let him tell it anyway? Or do you say, I heard? Yeah, you let him tell it. That's my rule with people retelling. Sometimes people do that. They'll retell the stories that they've told you. My grandpa used to do that a lot. And I just always let him go. Because it's too much. Too much to say like, oh, you told me that, Gaga. But I would want you to stop me if I was telling a story that I told you before. No, because what if you do a better job a second time? You want to see if he's upgraded his storytelling? Yeah, what if there's new details? What if some things are omitted? You've worked the story around, you realize this part's not great. I appreciate it. Where were you boys today? We were at another grad party. So funny, by the way, you guys rolled in here like two roommates. That's what it feels like. I mean, it's Sunday, six o'clock. Jeff and Max had a really busy weekend. We went over to their house yesterday, had a great time. But they were putting on a party, which was a lot of work. And I walked in, Jeff had three bags of ice on his back. And he was like, it was horchata. I feel terrible about that. You guys were walking up the street. We had a bartender and she was out of ice. This is what I wish for you. You should just stop worrying about everybody. I was just going to tell you that I feel terrible, like we didn't talk enough at the party. Why? Don't ever, ever think that. It was so wrong. I think that's the number one thing you've got to work on. I have my largest regret last night. I was sitting there in my house by myself and I'm like, I didn't talk to Naveed and Jason. Because we saddled up next to Max. And Harry and Green in the back. Max was telling me, he goes, I was killing it. I had Harry wrapped around my finger. Harry was really into Max. Because Max was telling Harry Marvel stories, like little stuff from the set. And of course, you know Harry. Yeah. Greenlight Harry. We were just talking about that today. He was at this party too. He was, he was. Yeah, I had forgotten about Greenlight Harry. Yeah, me too. I forgot. Did you bring that up yesterday, Greenlight Harry? No, Kareem brought it up today. Harry brought it up to me when I left. And I went, we used to have this friend, we have this friend named Harry, and we used to call him Greenlight Harry. And then Harry goes, oh, you know, Greenlight Harry. And I went, it was like a shot to the back of my head. I was like, wow, I hadn't thought about that in so long. And I forgot the name. So I go to Naveed and I go, oh yeah, we used to call him Greenlight Harry because he worked in Hollywood. And he was always getting scripts greenlit. Yeah. And Harry goes, that's not why you called me Greenlight Harry. And I go, because you know, my memory is terrible. And he goes, that's not why you called me Greenlight Harry. And I go, oh, what? And tell them why. Why do we call him Greenlight Harry? I think it's because he would decide if it was like we're in the right or the wrong. No, it was, I think it was, I think Jim, who didn't have a great reputation with our wives. Oh. And Jim called him Greenlight Harry because he said, don't worry, we were maybe going somewhere. And he said, don't worry, we're good. Greenlight Harry's coming. Because if we went out with Harry. If we went with Harry, we wouldn't get into trouble. We wouldn't get in trouble with our wives. It was Greenlight Harry. It didn't have anything to do with the fact that he. I don't think that got translated to. That is why. Yeah. Interesting. Because Jim, if we went out with Jim, Maureen and Marnie would be like, oh. And we're like, no, Harry's coming. They're like, oh, okay, all right. That's great. And Harry's just like way more mild-mannered than Jim. Yeah. They would think we wouldn't be getting into any kind of trouble. Yes, yes, yes. Harry's not a big drinker. Yeah. He's not going to run to the casino. Right. He's reserved. Or just normal. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fun time. Meanwhile, he also is very, very successful. Of course. Yeah. He's our director. So that's his name. Maybe you can attribute that to one of your friends. Yeah. We have one where we... You're not Greenlight, Max. I'm going to tell you that right now. I'm not Greenlight, Max. Definitely not. No, no. Speeding ticket, Max. Like, yeah. We have a name. The only thing we need to tell you, Max, is just to go as much like that as you can. I need the tags, guys. Sorry. First pod for you. First pod ever. In fact... Is this your first pod ever? First pod ever. Yeah. Never done it before. I was thinking maybe on nights that you can't make it, just send Max. Yeah, you could just send me. I do feel like I'm morphing into him. That's a big problem. You guys are very similar. We started like... You know, we're going to the gym together. This is happening. Yeah. I'm sure people want to hear about an update from your side of the gym. Oh, man. Jeff has been talking about the gym. The gym is great. I've never been so happy to go to the gym in my life. But it is embarrassing to be just absolutely shown up day in and day out by my... 54. Never know. 54-year-old dad. I never know how old you are. Is he that good in the gym? Oh, my God. Dude, there was a guy. He was like 30s. Okay. He was doing the like bench. What? Inclined bench. Inclined dumbbells. Get it right. Get it right, Max. This guy's doing the inclined bench, sitting there, hoodie. I realized my dad goes to sit next on another inclined bench next to him. And I realized they got the same shoes on. Yeah. In my head, I'm like, all right, this is a rivalry now. And this guy... What kind of shoes? They got like some Nike gym shoes. They're the same model, same color. I'm like, I'm watching this because you're showing me how to do it. This is like the week where you're showing me everything. And they're both doing 45 dumbbells. And I'm like, all right, this guy's a lot younger. My dad's with him. And my dad does his set, goes to the rack, gets 55s. I'm like, oh, man. This guy is getting just absolutely destroyed. Puts the 55s down after his second set, goes back to the rack at 65s. And I'm just like, this guy's nothing. Wow. It's insane. I'm over here with like 20s. Yeah, me too. You're putting up 65s inclined. He's insane. Let me see your muscle. Let's see it. Go with a little bit. Me? No, we don't have to do that. Are you losing this shirt right now? I can't see it. Oh my God. Wow. You're really strong. This episode of All Good Things is brought to you by Creditvana. Creditvana is incredible. Do you know what your credit score is right now? I do, but only because I am old. Yes. But Jeff, since I got Creditvana, I did check my score a couple of weeks ago. And I was really nervous to check it. But you know what? Really? It wasn't that bad. It was like, it wasn't great. No. But it was definitely like, oh, you can fix this pretty quickly. And I bet you're like me. You figured out it wasn't hard because of Creditvana. Because of Creditvana. Exactly. Jeff, this Creditvana is amazing. The first credit score is free. Maybe, Jeff, you're going to the dealership. Jeff has six cars, by the way, right? How many cars do you have? I have three, but it feels like I have six. And I did just have to do a credit score to lease a new car. Really? And I was worried about it. I found out it was okay. But I feel like if you have Creditvana, you'll just know quickly, easily. And you won't be like, what is it? What am I doing? Guys, go check out Creditvana. Stop guessing. Go see your credit score at creditvana.com. That's creditvana.com. Hey, is that the French brand that you said? This is it. I have to talk. Go ahead. I told him I don't wear polos. Oh, I know. I've listened, guys. I'm up to date. I go to Marshall's. I buy a $20 Tommy Hilfiger polo. I'm really stoked about it. He grabs it and he goes, he goes, oh, I don't even know. And I go, I go, what? He goes, oh, I just thought, is it that French brand? And I go, no, it's Tommy Hilfiger. I got it at Marshall's. Like this guy got so bougie. Used to see him in college. Look nothing alike. Huh? No, he just wanted to drop it. What is the brand called? Max, this guy, this guy used to be so not bougie. It's called Serge Blanco. Is that a Serge Blanco? Is that made up? You couldn't, you couldn't make that up. You're wearing a Serge Blanco. I think it's a, I can't say, I don't want to say what it is. Where the hell did you get it? Did you get it overseas? No. Did you get it in your travels? You did. Where'd you get this shirt? I know what you did. The family was in the flat. You guys rented an Airbnb. Jeff was rolling around. And he's like, I think I'll get myself one. Oh, Serge Blanco. I wish. You did. You went and you bought it. Do you really want to know? Of course I want to know. That's all I want to know. It's not a good story, but it is a good story. I think it's a great story. I *******, and Serge Blanco is, I now remember, Serge Blanco is a French rugby player. No way. Yeah, he's a French rugby player. No way. Why would I have a Serge Blanco? Yeah, I don't know, but he does. Why would I have a Serge Blanco for marshals? I wish it was a story about me being in France in Menton. And I'm like, oh, Serge Blanco, everybody's buying it. No, I was *******, I can't. I don't want to tell it. Come on. I was, June had a birthday. We did a birthday weekend for June. And we got a house and all her friends got to stay in the house. It was in Manhattan Beach. And so we were walking around Manhattan Beach and there was a men's store. And I forget what it was called, but it was like a Manhattan Beach men's store. And Maureen was like, look at all those, look at this men's store. You should go in there. Let's go in there. You don't have anything. Go get something. Manhattan Beach is bougie. No, it's a bougie men's store. So I go in and I'm like, oh, you know what it was? There was a table outside and there was a bunch of ----. And it was like really cheap or cheaper or whatever. And she's pulling stuff out. She pulls out like five or six things. And she's like, you got to try this on. Like, look at this sale. Look at this sale. You got to try it on. And I'm like, all right, all right. So I take like six things into the, and there's like, you know, I don't want to say it like this, but like, you know, everybody working in the store is like a woman, like a, like, you know, like a friend of Marnie, like, you know, like 50s. And they're like, and they're too aggressive. They're like, you should try this on. Cosmopolitan. Yeah, but I can't try it on. But like, what I would like to do is go try something on, decide in the dressing room, come out and be like, I'll buy this. Maureen's there. She's like, come out, come out. I have to do it with all these people, like these women. They're all deciding if what I'm wearing is working. How many options did you have in the dressing room? I had like six things. Really? Yeah. And I bought like three things. I bought a pair of pants, a button down, and this polo. And I was like, I was like, I was like, I don't, I told you this. I don't feel like I look good in polos. And I got, I got bullied into it by all these like 50 plus women who are like, that looks good on you. Yeah. And then I remember Maureen was like, well, who makes that? And this woman said, oh, that's a Serge Blanco. Wow. The thing is. What'd you say? I was like, all right. Okay. It's not super expensive. I don't know. It looks okay. It looks great. I actually really like it. The uniform for the party today, by the way. Yeah. People are all in polos. It was a lot of polos. A lot of sportos over there. A lot of sportos. It was, it was a polo flip-flop shorts. A couple of lax players. Yeah. It was like a bunch. It was like California adjacent lax. It was, it was a funny vibe. I just have to tell you something that I, that happened at the end of it that I realized that made me like beyond sad, like sad for days, which was I was in the store and I'm like, okay. And I liked the things that I thought would work. And I was going to buy them. And as I'm waiting to pay for them and morning, I go outside because Luna was outside. So she's outside. And I'm, and this woman's like, I think you're really going to like these things. And she's like ringing me up. Yeah. And I look around and I'm like, there are all these men that are like 60 years old. Yeah. Everybody is 60 years old. Sure. Everybody. Yeah. And there are women waiting outside dressing rooms. Who are, everybody was, it was a, it was an old man store and they were all waiting. I just went through this. Didn't realize what it was. I had done the same thing. What's your point? There's a bunch of women waiting for other men. Yeah. Who are all like, I just realized my age at that moment. I realized that they were like, there was a guy who came out and I'm like, look at that. He's like a really in shape retired guy. He's looking good. And then there's a woman who also has a dog and is at the door and she's like, come out, come out. Yeah. And he's like, what are you? And she's like, I think it's too long. Can you tuck it? Can you tuck it in? And he's like, I don't want to tuck it in. And she's like, well, then don't buy it. Go try the other one on. She takes a call, brings Maureen in. Yeah. Can you tuck it? And then I already paid for it. If I hadn't paid for it, I would have walked the **** out of there and been like, can I please go somewhere where people 20 years younger than me are? Yeah. Because I walked. I never had such a hang dog look on my face. I walked home like, oh, I just went and bought ----. Serge Blanco ----. Yeah. At ******* this old man's door. Yeah, it's all right. No, it's not all right. It's all right. No, it's not all right. I like that you went into the, you walked into the dressing room thinking like cool Jeff back in the day. Yeah. Thrifted. That's right. And you walked out. Yeah. Cookie cutter. Yeah. Basic. Yeah. No, no originality. Yeah. I felt like a guy was going to be like a retired judge. Like you too. Yeah. You know? Yeah, but that's okay. It looks good. Wow. 15 minutes on the Serge Blanco polo. That's incredible. Hey, wait a minute. Can you guys, can you guys hold down the fort while I go and grab something out of the car? I got to show you guys something. The person you're trying to reach is not available. Please record your message. When you call Max and he doesn't pick up his voicemail voice is Matthew Reese from Widows Bay and the Americans. He doesn't even know it. Max's voicemail is Matthew Reese. Yeah. Why? I don't know. I've called him because he never answers his phone. I called him eight times today to wake him up. You thought that was on purpose. You thought I was- I was like, I thought, oh my God, that's so sweet. Yeah. Because we've been watching Widows Bay. Yeah. You know Widows Bay? Naveen's asked me to watch it. It's great. I haven't watched it yet. It's really fun. In the house we call it, where you can't get the name of it right. She'll do the family text and she'll be like, Willows Bay tonight. Yeah. That one time she wrote Windex Bay tonight. That's just an autocorrect. No. It's just a typo. She can't know it. It's verbal too. Yeah. It's verbal. It's funny. Yeah. That's Matthew Reese. And it's really funny because June can't piece it together. She goes, what are you talking about? Yeah. She's like, Willows Bay? What is that show? What's that? Like she doesn't know. It's awesome. That show's been fun. We're waiting for the finale. What's it about? Spooky, spooky town. Watch it and then we'll talk about it. There's no point in- No, you don't hold it over my head. Once you watch it, Jay, then maybe we can... And even then, I don't know if you can really hang. The hell was that? It's scary and funny. It's a scary, funny show. Okay, okay. It's about a... Oh, you would love it because it's about a fictitious island off the coast of Maine. Okay. And it's haunted. Okay. And Matthew Reese is the mayor and he's trying to get people to come there, like Martha's Vineyard. Oh. So he gets a New York Times travelogue guy to come. Yeah. But meanwhile, everybody's like, don't come here. The fog is coming in. Oh, really? Yeah, it's like- But in a funny way. It's funny, but there are times that I've been jump scared. Really? Like it's scary. And each episode is like a different horror trope, which is fun. A different what? Like horror trope. Horror trope. Like the last one was like a- Trope, trope. Like a very- Oh, oh, trope. Yeah, trope. Like the last one was pretty much a Halloween knockoff. Okay. Which was fun, but it all works in the story. Okay. I don't watch scary stuff. But it's funny more than scary. Okay. Where'd you go to get? What'd you go to get? Okay, so I was in the store. Okay. I was in the store and I saw this product and I haven't tried it yet. And it just made me laugh so hard. Because it's like, did you ever see like pretentious products? Yeah. Okay, so I thought this was the most pretentious thing I've ever seen in my life. Let's see it. It's called JOM. Gourmet gummies JOM. Organic and vegan. Like, I just thought it was so funny. Have you ever seen that, Max? You know where I got it? I got it at like, um, at like Erewhon. So it was like pretty expensive. But couldn't you just see some mom? Like when she gets hungry, she keeps this in her purse. Or if she's driving and she's like- Yeah, it's JOM. It's a product of Sweden and it's- And but couldn't you see her like asking the kid like, Can you- where's my JOM? Could you- It's top nine allergen free. Can you grab my grab my grab my JOM? Grab my JOM. Yeah, it's pretty good. I took my grandma to Erewhon two days ago. What'd you think? Well, my mom needed like- My grandma was staying with us for June's graduation. Yeah. My mom needed a break. So I was like, let's go to Erewhon. I was like, I want to show you Erewhon. Oh, great. And so I went with her and my little sister and her boyfriend. Yeah. So it was June and her boyfriend Mattia and my grandma. And we're just like, she's like, let's have lunch. Like I was like, let's have lunch. I'll get everybody lunch. Great. I was like, great. I was like, what do you want? I was like showing her like the salmon and the cod and the salads. Like, I think she might want something like that. She's like, I want a pizza. I want that mushroom pizza. And I'm looking at it and she's like, it's thin. I like that it's thin. And I'm like, that's the gluten-free vegan pizza. And I'm like, are you sure you want that? Like, do you want to read it? She's like, no, I want it. I want it. So she gets the pizza. She takes a bite and she's like, this is amazing. Did she balk at the prices? No, not at all. She didn't. Okay. And I was like, I kept reminding her. I was like, this is really expensive. I'm sure you want to do lunch. Yeah. Like, are you sure? Yeah. Because we all got like juices and sandwiches. Like she was like, get everything. She was like really excited at once. Yeah. And I think when she saw the total, she like quietly did a little thing. And I was like, geez, I told you, I'm sorry. Like, it wasn't my idea to do lunch. Yeah. This is $7. Yeah. For one jom? For one jom, dude. How many joms are in there? You get about, that's a great question, Jeff. You get about nine joms. Nine joms. So it's like 90 cents a jom? 90 cents a jom. Can I get a 90 cent jom? There's five. Does anybody have any jom? Are you going to try it? I'm going to try it. Try it, try it, try it, try it, try it, try it. That's pretty good. That's a nice jom. These are fine, right? I'm not going to like trip out later, right? Yeah, it does too. What are you, crazy? You don't think I would do that? No, I don't. Well, I mean, the only way, unless I didn't read it. I would do that to you, but I don't think you would do it to me. My grandma, they were giving samples of mushroom gummies. Not like hallucination or anything like that. They're doing samples and my grandma just grabs one, takes it and she, and she has to like explain to her that it's not hallucinogenic. And she seemed a little bit disappointed, honestly. Really? I think she was a little disappointed. Anyway, she takes a bite of this mushroom pizza that she really wanted. And she's like, wow, this is, she's like raving about it. I'm like, oh, okay, great. This is wonderful. And then lo and behold, we all finish our food. She's still got that entire half of a mushroom pizza sitting there. And she's like, does anyone want a bite? She was like, do you think she didn't like it? She didn't like it. And June's boyfriend, she's like giving him all the pizza. And he eats like this whole thing. He did it out of like an obligation. He ate the whole thing because he felt bad. Oh, that's so sweet. Sometimes old people don't have appetites. No, she really doesn't. She also loves to like force the food she doesn't eat on you. Because she's like a non-waster. You ever take an old person somewhere and you're like, you want them to be impressed with what's going on, but they're not. Yeah, they don't care. They don't care. My dad's like that. I'll be like, this is the best pizza in Boston. I'll be like, I don't give a ****. I really can't tell what she likes in food at all. Because sometimes she'll say this is the best thing she's ever had. And I'm like, this? And then we'll get something that we love and she'll just be like. I really can't gauge with her. Yeah. I really can't gauge. That's a bummer when you're trying to please your parent. And we can probably go through this. Oh, you're talking to me? I'm your parent over here. That's a good question. Have you ever tried to please Jeff? Oh my God. It's like he's not. It's like all of a sudden he's just a third person and not my son in this ******* podcast. It's really fun. Just that right with that moment. It's so fun. I can't do this. I really forgot. This is the one and only time you're going to be on this show. Bro, he's going to take the podcast over. I know. They're only going to want to hear from. I know I've become. I've totally been like literally for the last 15 minutes. I've just been watching you two talk. Honestly, it's just like talking to you. Do I try? I know. I feel like I'm totally like 2.0 just came into the podcast and I'm out. I need a sense of individuality at this point. We now have the same workout clothes and the same sunglasses. Yeah. And we wear the same stuff. I know. That's why I didn't bring in the sunglasses. I thought if any chance we're outside. He took me to work one day and I shadowed him, which was awesome. It was so much fun. But I really just felt like I was just a little version of my dad. I know it's not right. It's not right. I'm being replaced. Good catch, Max. Jesus Christ, Jeff. Did you notice that once in a while? Max noticed the camera was out. You did it. I never noticed. Jeff never once does. You just proved it. You just proved that I am obsolete and not coming back. Well, no. You know what? I'll give him props. Yesterday before the party, we could not figure out how to get the music going. And he did it. What'd you call me? Internet? Like Greenlight Harry. We have a word at our house in England. Me and my roommates, whenever someone does anything good technologically, we go, oh, you're internet now. The old internet gets demoted. We have a little moment. Really? We celebrate the new one. You're internet now. You're internet. You did it. You're internet. Jeff got the music going. And the music was so good at the party yesterday. Oh, Maury made that. Oh, no. Maury did that. I think he was talking about Wolf in the backyard. I gave Wolf my phone. Oh, that's what it was. I'm sitting with Jason and Kareem and Harry. And he's like, this music, who's on? You on Hawks? This music's really good. And I go, no, I actually gave my buddy Wolf my phone. You know, it's the only way he'll be having fun. He goes, oh, why? And I go, I look over and Wolf's sitting in a big group of all my friends. And everyone's talking, laughing, having a good time. And Wolf's just sitting there drawing in a notebook. And I go, he's the one drawing over there. And Jason just dies. Max goes, see that guy reading the book over there? And I go, yeah. And he goes, that's Wolf. He's on Hawks. That's the only way he can sustain himself at the parties. He did a good job. I thought he was doing a really good job out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was fun. Oh, my god. What was it like seeing all Max and his friends and everybody at our house? Oh, my god. It was so fun. I love art. I love art kids. Yeah. Art kids are the best. The most arty art kids ever. I was talking to this one kid, and I said, oh, do you make films like June? He goes, yeah. He goes, I do films. I go, did you have one screen the other night when June had her screen? He goes, yes, I did. And I go, oh, cool. I go, what was it about? And he goes, well, I'm Jewish, like that. And I go, OK, great. And he goes, so my grandfather. And I was like, oh, man. I'm like, here it comes. It's going to be a Holocaust thing. It's going to be like my grandfather was in the camps, something like that. Yeah. He goes, my grandfather made the first gay porn magazine in Los Angeles. He smuggled porn into the United States. And that's the whole documentary. I was like, oh, my god. I'm like, finally, a documentary about a Jew. That's some fun. A ******* hard ass Jew. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the kind of Jew we're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, I got to see that movie. I'm like, your grandfather sounds amazing. Oh, yeah. I don't know if it was a great grandfather. I saw that film. You saw it? Yeah. It was pretty amazing. Yeah, and Jude's film was incredible. I told you, it's incredible. It's so good. I wish we could post it here. It is, guys, the film is so fun. You know, when I started YouTube, I was at your house in Carpinteria. Maybe you guys used to get that house every summer. Yeah, that was so much fun. So I rolled in there, and I had just started YouTube. And I'm driving up there with my kids, to be with your kids. And I'm like, I'm going to ******* get Jeff to do YouTube. I'm like, it's going to be busy. So I made this big pitch to Jeff. I was like, start a channel. It's so easy. Like, no one's doing it. And he's like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. He's like, you go do that. You do that. And so then when I saw that movie, I was like, yes. I was like, this is what I would see on your family. It's just so funny. I can't believe she made that story out of the footage, because it was so much. She was filming. She did a good job editing. It was crazy. Really good editing. She's good at sneaking around with the phone. I know. Let's talk about it. Go ahead. No, you. How do we rate Jom? Jom? Oh, man. I mean, I don't know if it's worth $0.90 at Jom, but. It's not. No. It's really not. I like, I think. You ever had the Trader Joe's licorice? Yeah. Trader Joe's licorice, better version of Jom, I think. But, oh, Trader Joe's licorice is better than Jom? Yeah. Is that what you just said? I think so, yeah. I just think that, if you just look at this. I don't know if you can see this. It is like, it literally looks like three Joms. Like, there's no Joms. You get 11. You can fit your wallet. Yeah, yeah. If you're a mom on Jom, you don't want too much Jom. You know what I mean? But I think the thing about the mom on Jom. You've already had one Jom. That's all you're getting for the ride. You want half a Jom? You can have half a Jom. Did you say Jam? Jom. Oh, Jom. Jom. Oh, wow. So, let's talk about you. So, what are you doing this summer? This summer? I'm figuring it out. This is amazing. Amazing. The thing is, Jeff, is you don't have to worry about this kid. This kid's going to land on his feet, no matter what. You could throw this kid off the house, the side of the house. Let's do it. Let's try it. Like, right now. He will land on his feet. You have to worry a thing about him. You might have to worry a little bit about him. I wouldn't worry about him at all. The only thing I worry about is if he turns into an alcoholic. That's the only thing that goes wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do you say that? I don't know. I know you maybe like beer. I'm not sure. I don't know if you do or not. He does. Okay, he loves beer. So do you. I do. Oh, my God. Again, the most like, we're not bothersome yesterday. We had to go out and get everything for the party. So we're like at Vons and we don't know, 60 people, whatever. We're not sure how many people are coming. I can't believe I'm having this conversation with them. I'm like, we're just going to get Pacificos, but I want to get some beer that I like. And he's like. See, you just opened the door. I know. You just opened the max window. Well, the thing is, everyone right now in my dad's life is starting to not drink. Yes. And so I'm like the only person around him that he can have a beer with. So that's been nice. It's a tricky world. And so we get beer, we get Pacificos, and I get some of the West Coast IPAs I like, and we get some Kolsch beer, and I think we're good. And I'm like, we have to go to a couple stores. They don't have the beer I like. So we go to another store. And I'm like, also, I don't think we got enough ice. We got to get some more ice. So we're in there. And then he's like, or I'm like, but I think you were like, I don't think we got enough. So we get some more Pacificos. And I'm like, all right. Okay. And he's like, and then. Well, I was like, you know, 30 dads are probably going to be there. Yeah. If they have two beers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Out of luck here. So I persuade him. I'm like, let's not bring all this Pacificos up to the house because it's going to be like, what the **** are you two doing? Yeah. I go, we can launder some in throughout the morning. He wants to launder in beer. Yeah, yeah. But we don't because there's so much. And there was a bartender and people. And then we get up and June goes, yeah, my friend Samir's family. They're bringing 30 beers. No. They're bringing 30 beers. Then today, we're sitting. We have breakfast with Gigi, his grandmother. And then he just quietly goes to me, we really, we really overshot it with the beer. I went outside. There's so much beer. We have so many beers. I feel terrible. I talked to him and knew I feel awful. Yeah. But I mean, no, it's my fault because he got me into UMass Jeff. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, we better get another. We better get some more. How was that, you guys throwing parties? You guys lived in that house together. We used to throw some parties. Just a little bit higher. A little bit higher. Sorry. Let me turn you up. Thank you. I was really worried about that. Sorry. Throwing parties? I don't remember anything. My dad would say that you guys used to throw parties to pay the gas bill. Jeff was very good at that. Jeff could throw a party to pay a bill. I feel like we talked about that a little bit on this podcast. But yeah, Jason loved to theme the party, throw the party, figuring out like how much, how many kegs to get and all that stuff. Not Jason's. And it's true to form. Like you're just not a big, you've never been a big drinker. I used to force you to drink so much. Yeah. I used to try. Yeah. And I just never liked it. And then in my whole life, I was trying to like it and keep up with people. And then one day I was like, oh my God, I've never liked this. I've never liked it. I was like, I'm done. How liberating. It was so liberating. I bet. It was so liberating. I bet. I mean, it's just like, I couldn't believe it how many times I was like, oh, got to drink because that's what everybody does. Yeah. I feel like that's a lot less and less of that in my generation. I feel like people, a lot of people. Yeah. The alcohol business is like costing. Gen Z is costing the alcohol business. Like, I don't know, like a billion dollars. It's down like more than that. No, like 730 billion, 730 billion in England. It is. Oh, it's flowing. Oh my God. I was in England for one day. Yeah. And because we are, we missed our flight. So we had to spend the night there. It was incredible. Yeah. So much fun. It was. I wish you texted me. I would have sent you to some places. I know. We didn't have a lot of time. Oh, can I tell you a quick Max's bit at the graduation? Yeah. I thought was so funny. So there are some famous people who have kids graduating at the graduation. Yes. So like Halle Berry was there. We didn't really see her. Sure. But she's there. And then what's her name? Lisa Bonet, who was married to Jason Momoa. I know who Lisa Bonet is. Her daughter was graduating. I saw Lisa Bonet there. Yes. And we're like, we're like trying to help get Gigi. And we're, by the way, we had the worst seats in the house. We're in the back of the balcony. Okay. And everybody was mad about it. Indoors? Indoors at a big, big place at Cal State LA. And so we're, we're in park. We got grandma in. We did all the flowers. We figured out everything. We went and got waters and everything. And we're sitting there. What'd you say, Mico? I said, Jason Momoa's here. I gotta hide. Wait, what'd you say? Jason Momoa is here. I gotta hide. Why? Because Jason Momoa likes Max? I've met him a couple of times and London doesn't like me. Doesn't like you? No, well, there was... Did you have something with his kids? No, well, June, my little sister and his daughter are in class together. And I would go to this club and he, he owns part of it. So when he's in London, he'll go to the club and hang out. And so I was, and I have gotten really tight with the other owners of the club. So I'm like at the big table all the time. Yes. And so I'm sitting there just like minding my own business. Jason Momoa comes in with like two dudes who look just like him. He sits down right next to me. And I'm like, all right, we're sitting next to each other. I gotta say something. I go, hey, I'm Max. Like, nice to meet you. Like, uh, your daughter actually goes, goes, is in class with my sister. And he just goes, oh, doesn't, doesn't acknowledge it at all. Looks the other way. And now it's my favorite thing to say that Jason Momoa hates me. He's made it up in his head that he's like mortal enemies with Jason Momoa. He's like, I'm glad he didn't see me. He doesn't like me. Oh, I was big kid behind my dad. All he walked by. He was like in a pink jacket. Oh my God. Seven feet tall. You can't miss that guy. You cannot miss that. Jesus Christ. Wow. Big guy. Six three. Yeah. More like, he's just big, like just a giant presence. Like he is a big man. And also he's, you know, beard and hair and everything. And then a pink jacket. It's like, you see him in the crowd. It's just like, it's just, he also looks. Max is pretending that he, he might have a beef with. Who didn't like to get watered. I'm like, that's really fun. Bad for the graduation as a whole. He doesn't care about you. No, no, not at all. Wow. Not at all. Last night I was, uh, I got home from your party, had a great time. And then we were really tired. So I got into bed. Then I got a phone call. Our friend's son is doing senior scavenger hunt. Oh yeah. And so they had to do, uh, uh, fight an influencer, which is like when Wyatt did it, it was like, take a, take a picture with an influencer. Yeah. Now it's like, **** the influencer. So, so they came by, he's a great kid. And they came by and he was like, he's like, you know, it's just like, kids are so funny. They're so like, he's like, all right, here's what we're doing. He's like, I need you to hit me in the face. And I'm like, what? I'm like, no, this is last night, last night at like 11 o'clock. And he was like, and so he'd give you a picture. Was he right in? No, he was, he was, you know, he was like, he was like, he's like, he's like, we did it like a few times. And I'm like, I'm like, what do you mean? I'm like, I can't hit you. And I'm like, are you going to hit me in the face? And he's like, you know, just like scrap. And I'm like, I can't, I know your mom. Like, I know, I knew this kid when he was five. Like, and I'm looking at this, like, it's, it's not him. Like, it's not his fault. But like, I'm so, I'm so spun around in my life. Like, he's talking, he's as tall as you. And he's also like built now. But I'm like ******* looking at like a five-year-old, you know what I mean? But it's not a five-year-old. Yeah, he's a grown man. He still feels probably like a five-year-old in a little bit of a way. No, no, no. He's ******* Scorsese last night in front of my house. Oh my God. Yeah, he's got his buddy there filming. He's got like three girls waiting for him. He's obviously like the ----. Yeah. And, you know, and then, and then we did it a couple of times and he was like disappointed. He was like, I'm not feeling this from you. Yeah, he's like, we gotta, we gotta get some contact here. But this isn't going anywhere. It's not going anywhere. No, it's not being posted. But then in my mind too, I'm like, what if it does get posted? Yeah. Like I'd want it to be good. Right. So then my brain goes in, like, it's gotta be a good bit. And. Your brain wasn't like, don't hit a kid. Yeah. It's gotta look real. Yeah, it was so interesting. He wanted it to be real or look real. I was doing it like big and sketchy. Yeah. And he was like, no, it's this cringe ----. You know, he was like, he didn't say that, but that was the vibe he was giving. He's like, no, no, dude. This needs to be like physical. This is for the academy. Yeah. So then finally we, I walked up the stairs and I took his notes and I went inward and I was like, all right, let's make it dramatic. You know, and then he pushed me and I went against my gate and I was like, ah, and then we scuffled a little bit and. And he was like, I guess that's okay. No, no, he thought it was good. And then the girls he was with, I heard them applaud, but I don't know if it was because it was a good take or if just, they just wanted to get the **** out of there and go on to the next, the next scavenger hunt thing that they had to do. What life do you live? I don't know. Then Marnie calls me, she's like, you know, he's coming by, like, you know that, right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know. I know I'm going to do it. And she goes, she said the most LA thing ever. She goes, she goes, well, he just went to Mindy Kaling's house. So you're in good company. I was like, okay. Oh, my God. I was like, did she scrap with Mindy Kaling? I hope not. She gave him a fat lip. Yeah. He's like, thanks. Mindy Kaling beat the ---- out of him. Yeah. He's like, I know how to ******* fight. Yeah. Anyway, so that was last night, but. Oh, my God. Well, guys, this has been amazing. We can keep going or if you guys. No, I want to go home. You want to go home? Good, go. Where are we at? We're at a cool 45. You do five more minutes. Let's do five more minutes. We took a big break now. No. To get the job. Get the job. No, the job. There was good content waiting for the job. Waiting for the job? Matthew Reese. You guys should do a pod just you. Let me ask you. Oh, I have to have one more thing to ask Max too, but you go. I won't forget. Because I just wanted to know. Well, don't forget. You go first because I won't forget. I just want to know you. No, I don't have nothing. I just want to know what you thought of what you think of Max in the pod world. In the pod world. How's Max doing? He's incredible. He was so funny yesterday. He was like. He was like, oh, I killed it yesterday. I wish we were potting yesterday. I really wish. He was doing good at the table yesterday. He was? Yeah, he was doing really good. I'm so bummed I missed it. I still, I'm apologizing again. I still feel bad. I didn't get to talk to you that much. I feel bad. Because Naveen was over my house and I. But I just said all these people. And also, you've got to stop worrying about people. That's all I do. Max went to use the bathroom before the podcast. Yeah. And you were like, you were telling him to poop. And he was like, I don't need to poop. No, he did. He did. But you don't know that. I do. It's gonna, it's gonna be. It's gonna be okay. But if he wants to poop, he'll poop. And if he doesn't, then he won't. And then, and then he'll sit here. And then he'll sit here uncomfortable. Thank you. And then he will, he'll sit here for 45 minutes. Every two minutes being like, man, I gotta poop. And that's it. It's over. You know, you have to. Oh my God, I have to go. I have to go. I've been sitting in a leaf the entire time. Yeah. That leaf has been. It's hilarious. I think you'd like it. It's like a. Wait, I have one thing to report on. Yeah, tell me. I heard, I heard two nights ago. Yeah. You and your buds are hanging out at the house. Yeah. By the way, your house is incredible for a party. Like it's the most. It's really fun. It's the most best like 19, 20 year old hang spot. Yeah. It's pretty good. Like pretty good. It's amazing. Yeah. It's such a cool vibe. I know. They have this like big outdoor space. Anyway. So Jeff tells me that you guys were smoking cigarettes and Jeff walked outside and he said, and he said, I wish, I wish I, I wish you had a ring camera or something. I wish I could see it. This is what this is. This is what I think you did. This is how you did it to me. I just want to do it. You walked outside and he went like this. You went really guys. Is that what you did? Yeah. Something like that. What did you do? I think I did that. I was like, I went to go shut the door. You, you tell me, you tell me. I hear my mom go, it just smells like a campfire inside. And my dad goes, all right. And he gets up. Oh, you heard the all right. Yeah. I heard the all right. So I'm like, I know it's coming. And he's like, you know, very passive aggressively shutting the window and then the door. And he's like, really guys, really? And then. Really guys, really? My buddy turns to me and he goes, you know, I really still can't tell if he's joking or not. Yeah. And then my other buddy goes, wolf. I wolf. He goes, I figured it out. Yeah. I mean, this, this goes back to Serge Blanco. Really? I'm tracing it back and watch me, watch me trace this back because Jeff, your buddy can't tell if Jeff's kidding or not, because at his core, he doesn't want to be the guy telling him that. No. He wants to sit there with you and have a good time. Just like he, just like he, you know, I don't know why I was saying search Blanco, but, but, but yeah, I mean, like, and so that's why there is, I know he doesn't want to be the retired judge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I see. He, he just ******* usurped me right there. Yeah. All right. Well, this is now all good things with Max Bumgarner, everybody. Yeah, this was crazy. He's here until September. It's true. Yeah, it's true. And who knows? Who knows where Max is going? Could be next week or. Anyway, what happened with, um, can you, I know Jeff's told the story, but what happened with when you gave the officer your fake ID? Oh, did you really, uh, you told the story? I think so. Maybe just to him off pop. Oh my God. Yeah. Okay. So this was senior year, um, senior year, we were going to this party. After graduation. After graduation was summer. My friend was a battle. He was like leaving in two days to go to college and he really wanted to go to this party. No one else really wanted to go to people, but he did. And so we go and I like, I had, I was there for like two seconds and I had like, maybe like six beers in my pockets just because I brought them. Cargo pants. Yeah. I like, yeah, they were all throughout my pocket. It's a lot of beers. I don't like this. Yeah. I was carrying them for everyone else. Okay. But I decided to Irish exit. Yeah. Cause I was like, I can't do this anymore. I was tired. So I'm walking up this Hill. I have no idea where we are. I'm walking up the Hill. I go around the bed. I'm looking down and it's like two cops are walking into the party and I'm like, oh, they're going to go straight down. Yeah. I'll just go call my Uber from around the bed. Yeah. And so I go sit on like a, you know, those railings and I'm just like, I'm drinking one of the beers. I have so many in my pockets, a comical amount of beers and I'm just waiting for the Uber to come on my phone. And five officers just walked right up to me and I'm like, oh, five. Yeah. Ooh. They're like, that's scary. They were like, uh, they were like, they asked me questions. They're like, how old are you? Where'd you get this beer? Just come from the party. I was like, yes, it came from the party. My dad bought me the beer. Like if we call them, would you say yes? And I was like, yeah, I did not. That's not okay with the cops either. No, I was told to say that. Yeah. I was told, I was told my friends are always like, yo, if anyone ever gets you, you just say it was your parents. Then they go to jail and you don't. It's a gray area. And like, they won't, they won't mind. That's like what everyone said. I just, just immediate response. Um, I love a California accent. Yeah. If anyone asks. I'm like, wow, these guys are really, the cops had the California accent. Where'd you get those beers? Where would you get this? You think the California accent is fake? No. Like surfer accent, but it's actually real. It's so real. I've, if ever there was a policeman who had one, I would, I would do a show about that guy. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the disturbance here? Why don't you slow down and pull over for me? Yeah. Uh, anyway, they get me, they have me like on a car, like over a hood of a car. Yeah. Oh God. This is, they didn't cuff me, but they like had me do hands behind the back and they like take all, all the stuff out of my pockets. Yeah. What is going on? They're really like getting at me. Like what is happening? You're breaking the law. I'm like, oh my God. This is like, this is like cops have come to parties all throughout high school. You have six beers on you and you're under 21. Did you say, wait, go ahead. And like two of them are like dumping out all of the beers. Yes. They're dumping them all out. And then they're like asking me questions. They go through my wallet. What is going on? And. You're like the kid in the movie. That's like, oh, not my beers, dude. I would know. I was terrified. Oh, you were scared. Okay. I was like, I was confused why they like really all came up to me. Sure. When there's like a whole party downstairs. Yeah. Um, I'm like, these guys are so hardcore. And then my friend calls me on the phone. My phone's buzzing on the hood of the car. The cop picks up and he goes, he goes, officer, officer Nolan, Glendale PD. And I go, oh ----. It's Glendale. Cause Glendale police are like, yeah, they care about. Yeah. They care. And LAPD is a little bit more like we're trying to solve real crime. Yeah. Um, so I was like, oh, I'm not getting out of this. This is not going to be good. Um, and. Didn't know you're in Glendale. Then they go. Yeah. It's because of the six beers. I had no idea where I was. Didn't know what city he was in. I didn't know what city I was in. Um, and so they, they go through my wallet. I'm not liking this story at all. They go through my wallet and they go, uh, they're like, how, they'd already asked me how old I was. I was like 18. And they, they go, then they, they're going through the wall. They go, why does it say you're from Massachusetts? And I go, oh, because it's, I put my dad's home address in this old fake ID, which he was not happy. Yeah. His fake ID is my home address. I figured I'd be able to get down the front door. I figured I'd be able to like, like reference the area a little bit, some stuff about it. Um, and I just go, uh, I don't answer questions. I declined to answer. And they go, and then they go, where are you going to school next year? And I go, I don't, I don't answer questions. I'm just sitting there. I don't know what to say. And they're like, that's not an incriminating question. I go, I'm going to school in London next year. I'm about to go. I'm about to leave. I graduated. They look at me and they're like, all right. And they're like, throw those cans in the trash. Oh my God. And they all walk down. And then everyone at the party was like, on all the police radios were like green hoodie, walking up the street, go get him. And that was me. And I don't know. I got so screwed. It was terrible. I can't, I was so lucky that day. Wow. That could have been really bad. I think they, they felt bad. What would they have done to you though? Really? I mean. Giving you community service? Felony. Really? It's not a felony. It's a felony. A felony to have alcohol when you're under 21? Fake ID. Oh, lawyer. Pre-law. Really bad. But you still had your fake ID after that. They gave it back to me. I think, I don't know. I don't know if they, I don't know. Why would they give it back to you? I don't, I just, they probably would have. No. Great. Leave you alone. Go to London. Give the kid his future. Why didn't they take it? Yeah, you would think they would abduct and steal it. I think maybe they just didn't. Like if I had answered the question. They were like, this kid, this kid does the right thing. They would have to figure it out. He doesn't answer the right questions. He answers the wrong questions. It was really stressful. Let's let him, let's let, let's see what happens next time. I think they just liked him. I think they liked him. I also had a mustache at this time, which made cops love me. Oh, that was why. Is that why you always want to have a mustache? Dude, cops would like, if cops came to the party. Would you say that? Get out there. No, no. Get out there. And I'd go and say, officer, what's the problem? Oh, wow. And they'd go. What an interesting theory. Send a mustache to cops. Talk to the police because you have a mustache more than once. And I go, yeah, multiple times. I'd go to keep it down. The neighbor. They don't like we're having a neighbor. And that was my line. I'd go the neighbor who called. We're just we're going back and forth right now. I'd say that's a police officer. Not in my house. At someone else's house. They'd be like, I get it like the mustache. It was it was a real. It punches it on you. And you're talking to the cop. You have a little coat. Don't worry, officer. We're going to get him everybody. All right. Just have everybody out of here. The key word that got them to go away was I'll shut this down. You said that. I'll shut this down. Yeah. What'd they say? And they'd be like, all right. What do you think, Sarge? Can we trust this guy? Does he have a mustache? Yeah, he's got a pretty good mustache. Pretty full. I'd say really full for a kid that's about 18. I mean, it's pretty impressive. Does he have a mustache comb? Yeah, he's got a comb. He's got a little gel. He's got some clippers in his pocket. I mean, all right. Well, we should trust him. I think we should. Good call. All right. 10-4. All right. You're good. Because I don't think I've never met an officer pairing where one of them doesn't have a mustache. I'm very fair. Even some of the female cops have mustaches. I've got to tell you something. I'm uncomfortable with every part of this last part of the podcast. I'm sorry. Why? What's wrong? Just that he- Well, you told the story way differently. So it was good that he told his version. Your version is very comedic. Yeah. Jeff put a little sauce on that story. He put a little sauce on it. He made you sound like a rock star. Really? Yeah. I know. Well, that's all right. You'll learn. I like both versions. You'll learn. I like both versions. I like that. I'm not learning as a father, though. This is terrible. Yeah, you did a great job. This kid's going to kill it. He's literally going to kill it. He's going to be walking down the street and some casting director is going to go, oh, we need a kid that looks like this. With a mustache. Would you consider growing a mustache? Yeah. He's going to do an ad for Jom, and then that's it. Carol. Carol, do you want my Jom? Jom's good. They're good. There's a lot of calories. There's no Joms in there. 85. For how many? How many Joms? These are 11 Joms. Oh, but how many is 85? How many do you get, Max? Read that. I don't have glasses. One package. One package is 85. Yes. Three Joms. It's like ******* 30 calories a Jom. Oh, wait, we have an ad. We have an ad? Yeah, say goodbye. Say goodbye, Jackson. All right. Let me get a donut, everybody. Stay lit.