Office Romance Movie Review

From the star of the hit films This Is Me dot dot dot now and the greatest love story never told i'm sorry i misspoke i meant from the star of the ---- films this is me dot dot dot now and the greatest love story never told jennifer lopez comes her next cinematic experience this time on netflix as a netflix exclusive called simply and eloquently office romance is our jenny from the block gonna find her newest jenny from the cock that didn't really make any sense anyway i'm gonna tell you about this in a in a review i suppose let's begin if you find yourself listening to this review and thinking man adam goes hard i need to get on the floor you should also get on the subscribe it's free of charge doesn't cost you a single nickel all right let's get into it office romance is an r-rated hour and 56 minute comedy dramedy bullshittery thing now it says an hour and 56 minutes don't be fooled by the rocks that netflix has got there is a full 11 minutes of credits on this thing but even with that time taken and the film now only being an hour and 43 minutes long i did the math just now i'm really smart it still feels like you're watching a three-hour film and no it's not because i'm some j-lo hater the woman is absolutely stunning except for a couple scenes where her makeup is like just bright orange it's very kind of off-putting uh she's a beautiful woman and i really liked her song back in the day with ja rule i'm real because i'm real the way you walk the way you move the way you talk and i can't go on without you although the internet told me it's actually a shanty on that track now i don't know if that's true i've heard the song many times i think i know what ja rule sounds like subscribe baby i'm crazy enough fun though let's get down to business now even though the title office romance may seem generic i can assure you the movie is absolutely 100 generic this is the most bread and butter meat and potatoes bullshit you could put out at thanksgiving but for the moms out there looking for a film that they can put on for 30 minutes before inevitably forgetting that they're watching a movie at all and go on to do something else while the movie plays in the background giving the netflix company the impression that you watch the whole thing uninterrupted this is the film for them jennifer jopez is the ceo of the number one most powerful most prominent airline out there cruise airlines i guess we're living in a topsy-turvy backwards world where a woman can be a ceo i scoff at that no i'm actually happy that's that's cool good for her um but bad for her at the same time because it turns out one of the policies at the company is you can't have any intermingling you can't have any entanglements with the co-workers you can't have any honk honk to catch my drift that was ass play and the reason this is an unfortunate situation situation short for situation of course is that the brand new attorney that she picked out happens to be a looker happens to be british happens to check every single box okay he's tall dark and handsome he's got zero personality perfect brett goldstein plays this character and he's pretty much the same dude he is in that tv show that's on apple plus it was called shrinking in that show he killed a woman lost his girlfriend and is super depressed so i give him a pass for being a wet sack of nothing what's his excuse here this dude is just bland as oatmeal you gotta put some brown sugar on that ---- or it has no taste everybody knows that but to be fair he did find some brown sugar he wanted all over his body and that comes in the form of the voluptuous fit as a fiddle jackie cruise and contrary to the name this woman is never on cruise control okay that autopilot's disengaged she is a 100% workaholic vindictive cold and calculated ruthless boss at least that's what the script told them to say about her in the first five minutes but she's never like that in the entire film like you're led to believe based on what the co-workers say that this chick's like the devil wears Prada but in the opening scene where she's at a restaurant putting up with some jackass who's crying over his ex she sits with this guy and has an entire meal if she's a true boss bitch she throws some chardonnay in the guy's face and she gets the hell out of there based on all the jackass bosses i've had over my lifetime she's the nicest one the only time she's ever even mean is to the lawyer in one scene exactly because he shows up like your shoes are nice i get up i got a boner looking at you bro gets a chub right there in the office upon shaking the woman's hand because it turns out both of these two are so infatuated with their jobs they haven't even thought about getting a job of their own aka a handy or a blowy instead the mere touch of a woman makes his tentpole go sky high baby i'm crazy brett's character name is daniel blanche flower more like daniel bland flower this guy sucks he's never funny the comedic timing is nowhere to be found the chemistry between him and miss cruz nothing more than a little bit of shagging you don't see any nudity you don't see any penetration short for penetration this is the the lamest movie across the board and there's all sorts of just terrible jokes humor that rarely works i will give the movie this much jennifer lopez is fine in it she does a fine job acting her character is not what they say it is though she's just a black character she's got no personality but for the first 30 minutes i was thinking okay this is just kind of your by the book you know kind of rom-com thing there's some jokes not all of them work a couple times i did get like a little that was that was all right got me but after those 30 minutes and the romance starts it is clear that this story has nowhere to go so it's just on unlike cruz autopilot throughout the rest of the film until the most cliche out of all cliche things could happen where the boyfriend pounds on the glass windows stop the press conference i mean you can't make this ---- off well you do they have made this ---- up in other movies from like 30 years ago i think the saddest thing in all of this is a couple actors from veep show up in this movie and and it just reminds me how much i love veep that shows a brilliant comedy those actors are great you got tony hale in this buster from arrested development another brilliant show for three seasons nothing more nothing on netflix and you got bradley whitford they both have small roles in the movie but still the fact that they're even in it kind of kind of gross kind of makes me think like oh it's a paycheck job i suppose they need to eat so fair enough so what's the plot to this movie what are we doing here well jackie cruz has found herself in some legal trouble a competitor claims she opened some gates she wasn't supposed to because she privately brokered a deal overnight with another competitor who just conveniently went against everything he previously said publicly where he was going to close those gates whatever that even ******* means maybe airport gates i don't know it doesn't matter this plot barely means anything but we spend a lot of time on it for the first half before it's kind of forgotten about and this company's kind of blackmailing her saying hey listen you either gave this dude some cash money or you gave him some bum ruby don't know what that means either i just said it i almost forgot edward james almost is in this for for some reason too for like three minutes why is my captain from battlestar galactica in this ---- commander adama is better than this we have almost the same name adam with an additional a at the end love for bsg aside i did not love this i know it's it's hard to believe i wanted to i keep waiting for j-lo to win me over with one of her new films but so far alas she has not this is just again very stock the only thing that put me off was the the fact that it says like excessive nudity or something there's a warning about nudity at the beginning and i thought to myself okay okay you got my attention now baby i'm crazy the aggressive nudity or whatever the hell the warning is comes from a woman giving birth and the camera pans down to the cooch and the opening and the baby's head coming out this shot happened several times this is a warning if you're thinking about watching this movie there's a scene where she's going to give birth in an office and uh yeah they're going to show that crap and it's not pleasing on the eye i will say that much i mean i'm sure somewhere out there in this weird ass world there's a person that just perked up as i said that there's a crowning shot in the film they're going oh okay this is uh this is actually the only way i can achieve climax so i'm i'm looking forward to this film for everyone else though there's mastercard so rated r essentially for swearing and for the crowning achievements later on with the baby no nudity from the the female or the male and he has one scene where he's behind a door and he's covering his junk like i gotta get out of here otherwise the movie sucked it just it just really sucked and people that say otherwise always inevitably say i mean i thought it was good i watched it for a while then i went and like folded some laundry while i was on in the background but it was good the stuff i saw was good what the **** is wrong with you people that say that stuff and i'm not even joking this is these are things that people put in the comments like do you even play back the tape do you listen out loud to the words you're typing you're dumb uh we took a vacation to disney world recently with the family i thought it was a lovely time we went through the front gates we walked down the main kind of corridor i didn't have a chance to go on any rides or eat any of the food i left pretty early uh you know like 10 minutes after i got there but really a really wonderful experience come on people and there it is my review for office romance i do think it was better than the greatest love story never told and it was light years better than this is me dot dot dot now but it's still not good and you've been warned all right there you have it my thoughts on office romance please let me know what you thought in the comments i'm dying to find out subscribe to the show if you want i post movie reviews commentary a live stream once a week would love to have you stick around and hopefully i'll see you next time since you're still here i gotta give a special shout out to my patreon supporters at patreon.com slash adam does movies there are three tiers you can support the channel ad these are the silver and gold members right here just a beautiful group of people if you didn't know adam does movies is a passion project for me it's a second job for me so making this happen is incredibly grueling over 300 exclusive videos just for signing up at the bronze membership every month i add more exclusive videos for silver and 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