My Girlfriend Is Sabotaging My Budget

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. So I recently had like, I would consider her a low-maintenance girlfriend at the time. She was pretty easy on the budget, but as things have gone, like, increasingly, you know, a little more serious, you know, my budget has kind of expanded on the EveryDollar app. So... It's a nice way to put it. For example, yeah, so I was just gonna ask, like, how do you guys, you know, account for those things? Because, like, now I'm, like, every month I'm, like, having to, like, siphon off other categories. Like, my restaurant budget now is just her at a lot of budget at this point. Like, I'm, you know, I'm just trying to do extra things for her. So how is this, like, explain to us start to finish? Is she texting you, like, hey, we're going out to eat tonight? It's a little less of that and more of, like, I've somehow got tricked into, like, paying for extra things. So, like... Like what? For the final week, so she was, like, very tired. So I was, like, just buying her coffee every day. But was that on your volition or was she asking for it? It's my volition. Okay. Because I don't want to dog her and be, like, wow, she's terrible. It sounds like you just feel this pressure to spend. Yeah, tell us what type of money you're spending on her on a weekly basis. Like, we go to a dinner and the dinner is $90. And then I spend coffee on her and I probably get her five coffees a week. That's, you know, $69. I don't know how much coffee is. But give us some ballparks here. Yeah, sure. So I think every month has been a little different. Just, like, this month has been, like, her birthday and then finals. So it's been a little more simple. What'd you get her for her birthday? A spa package. How much? Roughly around $450 to $500. Dang! Wow. Okay. Now, here's the problem, Chris. You just set the tone and the bar. Yeah, you sure did. Because now next birthday, it's got to be at least $500 for her. You set the bar early, my friend. It's not flowers and chocolate next time. Yeah, I kind of got a little screwed over here. We started dating around Christmas time. So I kind of had to get a Christmas gift. So, like, that kind of put me in the hole a little bit, too. Okay. So I will start out by saying this because I want you to know who you're dealing with here. I believe in wooing. And I believe in, like, whining and dining. I do believe that. I love that as part of courtship. So there's part of me that I feel like you're just doing everything right. It costs money to have a girlfriend just like it costs money to have some of the other things you enjoy having. So there's part of this that I do think there's, you know, there's a toll here. Now, the question is, is it bothering you because you're in debt and you need that money to pay off debt? Or why is it bothering you that you're shelling out this money? Tell us about your financial situation. You know, those free samples at the store that are up for grabs for anyone? Well, that's basically what's happening with your personal information online. Data broker sites collect stuff like your address, phone number, email, even your family's information and just post it online for anyone to grab. And that's why I use Delete Me. They remove your personal info from hundreds of data broker websites and keep it gone. So stop letting random websites treat your data like it's free samples. Get 20% off your annual plan at joindeleteme.com slash Ramsey. Yeah, sure. So she's the one who brought me on to the Ramsey stuff. So for me, I think it's a mixture of like I'm trying to be like, you know, I got a budget for her. So I don't have that much debt. I think I have, according to here, I mean, outside the mortgage is about $35,000 in debt. I do have a CD that's about $100,000. Oh, I won't be able to access it till August or July. But the plan was to use that to pay off the debt and then start investing a little more aggressively. But that's the plan. But I was just trying to figure out like my budget, like has been just changing every month. Some months are lower than the others. Some months are higher. And also just trying to balance that with. Well, you're you set the budget. You're the boss of the budget. And so it's your job to say, all right, I'm going to spend $200 for this birthday and no more. And then you figure out how to do that. But instead, you're going, well, I really want to get the spot package. Is it to impress her? I mean, I don't it doesn't sound like she has crazy expensive taste. And you're just trying to appease her. Yeah, I think for me, it's I'm trying to appease for sure. It's not so much expensive taste, but I guess the way her schedule works out, we don't have as much time to spend. So it kind of makes it a little more sensitive, like go a little extra step. So you're trying to buy her love since you can't do it with your physical presence. I don't think there's anything wrong with you saying, like I said, I love whining and dining, but I also love a budget and I love financial goals. I think if she's a good match for you, you should be able to say to her, I love being able to take you out. I love being a gentleman. I like being able to, you know, practice chivalry and pick up the bill. That being said, my budget is kind of limited. I just want you to know so that if there's something that maybe where you're used to us doing and we don't do it that week, that's the reason why. It's not that I'm not into you anymore. It's just I got to pay off my debt. And I think you should be able to say that at this stage in the relationship and it be received because she probably has things, at least she should, on her end that are similar financially. Like, yes, I'd like to do my financial goals too. So I think another human being should be able to understand that type of statement. What a fun question, Chris. Thank you for that. And you do, by the way, once that CD lets him in, he needs to pay off that debt. And it's full maturity. And I would look into what the actual penalty is. Because if it's a nothing burger and you're just missing out on some interest, I would pay off that debt today. Yeah, because sometimes it really isn't anything. It just kind of stops. Other times there might be a withdrawal penalty there. There's different rules on that. So I'd look into that. But I think if she turned you on to the Ramsey plan, it's an easier conversation. You go, hey, listen, I've been whining and dining. And I realize I've been blown through my budget every month. I got to get this thing under control. Date nights might look a little bit different for the next year as I clean this up. Can I tell you a real life story? Okay, so it's going to be good. You got that smile of like mischief. It's just a memory that I see in my mind right now. When I first met Sam, he, my husband, he lived in a townhouse, obviously alone. And he was showing me around his house for the first time. And I was struck because he just had a pile of cash that he kept. He just, savings. He just had, he had a lot of things in piles. Literally stacked on a table? Papers and piles. Yeah. No, no, no. It was in his closet. It was just stacked up money. And let me just tell you, Sam definitely wooed me. He whined and dined me. And I could actually see the stack of cash going down, down, down. As he continued to date you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so funny. And then he finally did propose. He proposed six months into dating. And yeah. And by then he needed to get a paper route because he'd gone through his savings. And so he had to get a paper route to buy my engagement ring. Did he not know about a savings account? Listen, did we know anything back then? But he's not like a 78-year-old man with tin cans in his backyard. That's funny. All right. I got to razz him for that next time I see him. I know you should. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.