Traditional Chinese Rural Funeral"My older brother passed away."

It was around 1 p.m. on the 17th of April 2026 when my mom called me out of the blue. She said my brother had been in a serious accident and was in the hospital. They were still trying to save him, but it didn't look good. She told me I had to come home right away. Then at around 5 in the afternoon, my dad called. He told me the surgery was done. And the doctor said it went really well, but then he said now it is up to him. We just have to wait and see if he can make it. We thought the surgery had gone well, but at 4.20 in the morning on the 18th of April, my dad called and said my brother was gone. He didn't pull through. They were already bringing his body back from the city to our county town. It all happened so fast. When I first got home, I was just in shock. I don't think he had really sunk in yet, but then we went to the hospital to bring my brother home. I was sitting in the car, my hand resting on the stretcher beside me where his body was, and that is when it hit me. I'm never going to see him again. He is really gone forever. And the tears just wouldn't stop. I am really sorry. Even now, as I am editing this video, I am still very emotional. I've calmed down a bit. Next, I am going to explain the meaning behind the traditional rural Chinese funeral. Some of what I learned came from asking old people in my family. There is a lot of information here. During a funeral in China, families paste yellow paper over the door guards on their front door. One reason is to let neighbors know there is a death in the house, especially those who are having a happy event like a wedding. They should not come in to avoid bad luck. The other reason is to cover the door guards' eyes. Normally, door guards guard the home and block evil spirits, but by covering their eyes, the soul of the deceased can sneak past and come back home for one last goodbye. The statues of gods at home are also turned to face the wall, that avoids clashing with the spirits. Folded yellow paper is burned in front of the funeral altar. This yellow paper serves as a reward for the ghostly escorts who lead the deceased soul to the underworld. It can also be used to bribe the lonely wandering ghosts that might block the way on the road to the afterlife. In traditional Chinese mythology, before a soul can be reincarnated, it must cross the Naihe Bridge and drink the soup of Meng Po. This soup makes the soul forget all its past memories. To prevent this, the younger generation of the deceased will punch holes in the bottom of the clay pot used to burn the yellow funeral paper. The idea is that when the soul of the loved one tries to drink the soup, it will simply leak out through the holes. That way, the soul can hold on to its memories and maintain a bond with the family even into the next life. As was on the morning of the day before my brother's burial, a few days earlier, we had asked an elder who understands feng shui and funeral divination to determine an auspicious date for the burial. And he chose the 23rd of April, which is the seventh day of the third month in the lunar calendar. By this time, the grave had already been dug. My father asked my mother to find an old pair of my brother's shoes, but they couldn't have any metal on them. She took them to the grave and burned them. Burning the shoes is a way of sending them to the afterlife, so my brother doesn't have to walk barefoot in the next world. And the no metal rule. In folk belief, metal can repel or even hurt ghosts. The family doesn't want the shoes to harm my brother's own spirit. So no metal is allowed. Because someone has to stay with the body through the night to keep watch. My nephew and I slept on the floor next to him that night. We just laid out some bedding right there beside him. Also, from the moment the body was brought back home, the candle in front of the funeral altar had to be kept burning at all times. It couldn't be allowed to go out. The front door of the house had to stay open. It could not be closed. This is a willow branch with a soul guiding banner attached. After the burial, it is placed on the grave. The banner symbolizes that the soul has been safely led to its resting place. The branch has to be from a willow tree, because in Chinese, willow, liu sounds the same as the word for to stay. The family hopes the soul will stay peacefully in the grave and protect the living. This paper house is meant to be my brother's home in the afterlife. It was placed in the courtyard in front of the funeral altar, displaying it. There is a way of letting friends and relatives know that the deceased now has a place to settle in the next world. In the afternoon, those who came to pay their respects would bow in front of the paper house. This white rooster will be used later for the so-called ritual. I'll explain that in more detail when the time comes. There were also paper servants to serve him in the next world, and paper cars, refrigerators, washing machines, all the things he might need. And then there were paper mountains of gold and silver and a paper money tree, a tree that shakes off coins, symbolizing endless wealth in the afterlife, so that even in the next world, my brother would never have to worry about money. The white cloth worn by the family members also follows strict rules. It must be torn by a middle-aged or elderly woman in the family, someone who has a happy family, meaning she has both sons and daughters. The length of the cloth varies. Close-blood relatives get a longer piece, while more distant relatives get a shorter one. In our local custom, the deceased same-generation siblings and younger generation descendants must tie the white cloth on their bodies. Since my brother was young and didn't have many descendants, only my nieces and nephews tied the white cloth around their heads. The rest of us, his same-generation relatives, including me, tied it around our arms instead. In the afternoon, everyone who was coming to the funeral had arrived. People brought yellow funeral paper with them. When someone at the intersection saw people approaching with yellow paper, they would set off firecrackers, a signal to announce that more mourners had arrived. And as soon as the firecrackers went off, the funeral band would start playing. At Chinese funerals, just like at weddings, guests give money. A specific person writes down each name and the amount given. After paying, the guest goes to the courtyard to bow to the deceased. The family then bows back to express their gratitude. The coffin had also arrived by then. We hired a team that specializes in handling funerals. They take care of everything from the rituals to the logistics. As for the guests, we serve the meals outside. In a rural Chinese funeral, it is customary to feed everyone who comes to pay their respects. These meals were also prepared by the funeral team. After dinner, the final preparation ritual before the burial truly began. First, my brother's same generation relatives, like me and the younger generation walked from the house to a three-way intersection. Each of us held lit incense sticks and yellow funeral paper in our hands. When we reached the intersection, we burned the yellow paper and the incense by the roadside. In Chinese tradition, crossroads are believed to do be the boundary between the living and the dead. In Yang Junction, burning paper at this spot serves two purposes. One, it acts as a toll fee for the ghostly escorts or any wandering spirits blocking the way. Two, it ensures the deceased has plenty of money for the journey, guaranteeing a smooth passage. As for the burning incense, the rising smoke and scent are seen as a communication signal. It is believed to guide the soul of the deceased through the darkness, allowing him to follow his family and find the correct path to the underworld. My nephew and niece Nelton Cao told here, it was their way of saying a final goodbye to their father. In traditional Chinese belief, a person has three souls and seven spirits, because my brother died in a sudden accident. It is believed that part of his soul may still be trapped at the scene of the accident, unable to find its way home. Here, my nephew is holding the white rooster. He walked three circles around the accident site, and as he walked, we all shouted for my brother to come home. Then, he led the way back home, walking all the way from the accident site. At every intersection along the road, we called out again, making sure my brother's soul didn't take the wrong turn. There is a rule, once you start walking, you cannot look back. People believe that a white rooster's crow is loud enough to pierce through the barrier between the living and the dead, that its voice can guide a lost soul home. That is why we used the white rooster to lead the way. Finally, this rooster stayed beside my brother's coffin during the entire funeral procession to the grave. His job was to continue guiding his soul along the path to the burial site. After my brother's body was lowered into the ground and buried, we didn't kill the rooster. Instead, we set it free, right there in front of his grave. The 23rd of April, the seventh day of the third lunar month, it was a little after 4 a.m. This was the burial date we had asked an elder to calculate. He told us the best time for the burial was between 3 a.m. and 7 a.m. By now, everyone had just finished breakfast and returned. Before breakfast, though, we had already prepared the coffin. At the bottom, we spread a layer of sawdust and plant ash. These materials are highly absorbent. They soak up moisture and liquids inside the coffin, which helps slow down the decomposition of the body. But there is also a traditional belief behind the plant ash. People say it represents from dust you came to dust you shall return. Spreading the ash is a way of expressing ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Then, from top to bottom, we covered it with three layers of yellow paper. On each layer of yellow paper, we placed three coins, nine coins in total, arranged like this. In traditional Chinese culture, the number three is deeply significant. It represents completeness and then the potential for new life. As Laozi said, the Tao gives birth to one. One gives birth to two. Two gives birth to three. Three gives birth to all things. Three is seen as the starting point of all life and growth. By laying three layers of paper and three piles of coins in the coffin, we express the hope that the deceased can be reborn in the afterlife and that the family line will continue to flourish generation after generation. Placing the coins on top of the yellow paper is a symbolic act. The core idea is to let the deceased lie on money, using wealth to pave a prosperous road for those descendants who come after. Three layers of paper, three coins on each layer, that makes nine coins in total. Nine is the largest single digit number. It symbolizes the ultimate, the highest, the most complete. Offering nine coins represents the family's deepest respect for the deceased and their fullest wish for the fortune and well-being of future generations. Now it was time to place my brother's body into the coffin. The coffin was too heavy to move easily, so we had to do it in the courtyard. This meant that when we lowered his body into the coffin, it would be exposed to the open sky. That is why we used a cloth to cover the space above him during the process. There is a traditional belief behind this. The soul of the deceased belongs to the yin house, the grave, until the body is buried. And at rest, it should not be exposed directly to the open sky. If it is, the soul may become lost or displaced, unable to find its final resting place or peace. Because my brother was a larger man, and traditional coffins are narrow at the top but wider at the bottom. We had to lower him in sideways, then adjust him to a flat, lying position. His body had already stiffened, so this process was a bit difficult. Once we had his position adjusted, we placed some of his old clothes into the coffin. There are several meanings behind this. First, it allows the deceased to take things he loved with him, things he can continue to use in the afterlife. At the same time, it symbolizes the living's longing and companionship. But there is also a practical purpose. The folded clothes are tightly packed into the empty spaces, wedging the body firmly in place. This prevents the body from shifting due to bumps or movements while carrying the coffin, transporting it, or during the burial process itself. This serves two important functions. It preserves the dignity of the deceased, and it brings a sense of peace and reassurance to the living family members. Before my brother's body was brought home from the hospital, we had already asked a specialist to dress him in his shouyi, funeral clothes. In traditional Chinese funeral culture, shouyi are the special garments worn by the deceased when they are placed into the coffin. These clothes typically follow the style of Han Fu from the Ming or Qing dynasties. For men, the clothes are usually dark colored, paired with cloth shoes. There cannot be any metal parts in the clothing. No buttons, zippers, or ornaments made of metal. In his hands, we placed a fake gold ingot. This is meant to provide him with travel money, a toll fee to help him cover the cost of his journey into the afterlife. After we had adjusted my brother's body and packed the clothes tightly around him, we sealed the coffin. Once the lid was on, we nailed it shut with coffin nails. In Chinese funeral traditions, odd numbers represent yang, the living, heaven, the father. Even numbers represent yan, the deceased earth, the mother. On the left side of the coffin, we hammered in one nail, one's odd, yang. This side represents the world of the living, the filial sons, and yang energy. It symbolizes that the fortune and well-being of the living are firmly secured. On the right side of the coffin, we hammered in two nails. Two is even yin. This side represents the world of the deceased. The underworld, it symbolizes that the soul of the departed is settled and at peace. Finally, we hammered one nail into the center of the coffin lid, but this nail was left protruding. The head of the nail remained visible and was not driven all the way into the wood. There is a word play here, the Chinese word for nail, ding, sounds exactly like the word for to settle, ding, and also like the word for offspring or male descendants, ding. If you drive the nail all the way in, sealing it completely, it implies that you have nailed down your descendants, leaving them no way forward. But by leaving the nail partially out, not fully driven in, it symbolizes leaving a path open for future generations. It means the family line will continue, that descendants will have opportunities, and that the family will not die out. There is also a spiritual reason. The ancient Chinese believed that the soul is a form of qi, energy, breath, air. If the coffin is completely sealed, nail shut with no gaps, the soul would be trapped inside and unable to leave. But during the funeral, rituals like the soul guiding banner and the white rooster require the soul to follow the living. It needs to come out, it needs to be guided to the grave. So the nail that is left partially driven serves a critical function. It acts like a crack in the door, a small opening that allows the soul to slip out. Follow the sound of the suona, follow the white rooster, and make its way to the final resting place. Once the coffin was sealed, the funeral music began to play. Because my brother's death was not a happy funeral, not a celebration of a long full life, my mother decided we would only have two musicians. One played a sheng and the other played a suona. The suona has a very sharp piercing sound. Its tone cuts through everything, the wind, distance, noise. During the funeral procession to the grave, the suona was played for two reasons. First, it guides the soul of the deceased. The sound is like a voice calling out, follow this sound. This is the path you must take. It prevents the soul from getting lost and failing to find the grave. Second, it serves as a warning to the living. When people on the road hear the piercing sound of the suona, the beating of drums and the clashing of cymbals, they know a coffin is passing by, a funeral is on the way. This alerts pedestrians and vehicles to step aside and make way, showing respect for the deceased and avoiding any spiritual conflict. Finally, we draped a red cloth over the coffin. Red is not normally used at funerals. For some people who live to a very old age, red might be used because their death is considered a happy funeral, a celebration of a long full life. That is what Ludwig encountered when he came to China. But my brother's death was not like that. So why do we still use red? A coffin is usually black or dark colored, symbols of death and the underworld. Covering it with bright red cloth represents yang covering yin, the living's filial devotion and the blessings of the yang world covering and warming the deceased, so he would not feel cold or alone. There is also a protective meaning. During the funeral procession, when a coffin is carried from the house to the grave, it is believed that wandering ghosts or evil spirits may be present along the road. The red cloth with its strong yang energy is thought to suppress and drive away these unclean things. It protects the soul of the deceased from being disturbed, and it also protects the pallbearers and the entire funeral procession, keeping everyone safe on the journey. Now we took my brother back to our rural hometown for a burial. The burial site was a wheat field near our old home. There were no lights, just darkness. My mother was crying the whole time. I was crying too. So honestly, I barely filmed anything. After we laid my brother's body into the ground and covered it, we all went home. Then, on the evening of the burial day, and for the next two days after, we had to come back to the grave to yanfen. This ritual is also called fu san, which means returning on the third day. Altogether, we do this for three days. For all three days, we came to the grave at dusk, around sunset, when the sun was almost gone. On the first two days, besides burning yellow funeral paper, we also burned wet branches or damp grass in front of the grave. We used wet wood and covered the flames with soil. These methods made the fire produce a lot of smokey, but very little flame. This way, the fire would smolder for a long time. There is a belief behind this. People think that when someone first arrives in the afterlife, they are newcomers, and newcomers are rong yi bei qi sheng, meaning they can be bullied or looked down upon by other spirits. By lighting a smoky fire at the grave for three nights in a row, the living are doing two things. First, the smoke and the sound of the fire, the yang energy they carry, help drive away wandering ghosts and evil spirits. Second, it is a way of backing up. the deceased. Letting the other spirits know that this newcomer has a family who cares, who shows up, who keeps watch. It gives the deceased spiritual support and protection in the afterlife. This was the last day of the yuan fen. We brought all the paper furniture and the paper house to the grave. We burned them right in front of the grave, so that my brother would be able to use them in the afterlife. Here, we are using real 100 yuan cash to print onto the yellow funeral paper. We press the bills onto the paper, row by row, from left to right. We do this on both sides, even though printed hell money is available these days. Traditionally, only this hand-stamped yellow paper is considered real currency in the underworld. It is the hard currency. It gives the deceased face and status when they spend it. Unlike the cheap, high-denomination printed bills that are considered worthless. Before we burned the paper servants and the paper furniture, we first drilled small holes in the ears of the paper servants. In traditional paper funeral craft, there is a specific rule. You must pierce the ears of the paper figures. The purpose is simple. It allows the servants to hear their master's commands. It allows them to understand the family's final instructions and wishes. And it ensures that they will be obedient, attentive, and faithful, serving the deceased properly in the afterlife. Is this your shop? Yes, this is my shop. I work hard every day to make money for my family. Do you have a dog? Yes, I have a dog. I have two dogs. How old are they? They are all grown up. Can you tell me what these are? They are jiaozi… I used to be a cook. The servants are all grown up. These are jiaozi. They are not fresh. They are dried. Finally, we shared and ate dumplings and dishes in front of my brother's grave. Dumplings are an important food for festivals and ancestral rituals. They symbolize wealth and family reunion. This meal was our final reunion dinner with my brother. One last meal together. Once this meal was finished, the funeral was truly over.