Why We Left the UK for Italy With Three Small Kids — The Honest Truth

Welcome to the Meadow House Diary. This is page four of our story. My name is Elizabeth. I'm married to Peter and with our three daughters we live here in the beautiful north of Italy. Last year we left the UK. We relocated here with our two young daughters at the time, our two Labradors as well, two trailer loads full of stuff and our third baby was on the way. So since that journey our third baby has been born here in Italy which was a wonderful, wonderful adventure. And that's what this channel is all about, is sharing our life as a young family who've relocated to a new country where we don't speak the language, renovating an old Italian farmhouse that we bought, trying to live off-grid, getting animals. We've got goats, we've got chickens. You might see them in the background of this video. So it's a really, really exciting stage of our life and we're really pleased to be sharing it all here with you on YouTube with kind of all of the realities of family life. What's it like renovating with young kids? What's it like trying to live off-grid with children and adjusting to a new culture? Overall it's been super, super positive so that's why we're so excited to share it with you. So if you like that kind of video we really hope you'll stick around and subscribe. But for this video what I want to talk to you all about is why we left the UK. Why did we make that decision to leave behind everything we knew especially as parents of young children? I know that question has come up a lot already in the comments on our previous videos which are linked down below if you want to check those out. So that's what I want to dive into today just to explain to you all how we made that decision as a couple and why we took that risk. We do know that it was a risk and we still don't know really how long-term our life in Italy is going to turn out. We're enjoying it so far, we're about eight months in after relocating to Italy and we love it so I've got lots of positive things to say about Italian people, Italian culture and even Italian bureaucracy to be honest which everybody tells you is terrible but it's not as bad as everybody says from our experience even not really speaking Italian very much so far. Before I talk to you about our three motivations that led us to leave the UK ultimately as parents with young children and take the risk of moving here somewhere that we've never lived before and somewhere where we weren't really sure how it was going to work out, I do just want to give you a few little caveats I suppose. I do recognize that the kind of move that we've made isn't possible for everybody. I do know that it's not financially possible for everybody, they might feel very tied and settled somewhere, imperfect as it is and so they can't make this kind of move and I want to say we haven't moved to Italy because we think Italy is perfect. There is nowhere that's perfect, there's a lot of issues here, there's a lot of issues in England, we all have to make decisions in our life about where we want to be, what's important to us and ultimately that's our story, that's what this video is about is how we decided what was important to us and came to the realization that a lot of those things that were key to a good life for us and for our family weren't possible in England or would be really really difficult for us to ever achieve in our lifetime and maybe not even in our children's lifetime in the UK. So I just kind of want to premise this video by saying that I'm not here to convince you to move to Italy, although if you do then you know good on you, but whatever it is that defines a good life for you and for your family I hope that you can find some encouragement in this video to take the next step towards that, make a decision, take a risk if you feel that that's where you know a good life is leading you, your pursuit of a more beautiful life for you and for your family, that you go and you follow that because that's ultimately what led us here and we couldn't have anticipated how beautiful and how good this new life would be but it's surpassed all of our expectations and our hopes really. But back to the first reason, so the motivation for leaving the UK was financial, that won't come as a surprise to you if you're watching this and you're in the UK, there are rising costs, paying a mortgage, rising council bills and we really felt as to you know relatively young people that we had a long lifetime of kind of really hard work ahead of us just to pay the mortgage, so if we wanted a little bit extra to go on some holidays or give our kids the opportunities that come with keeping animals for example we would have needed a much bigger property than we could afford at that time and we had hoped to extend the house that we were living in in England, again that ended up being almost impossible because of planning laws and even if we had got the planning permission to be honest it would have ended up being a very expensive project so kind of through the early years of our marriage we were faced with some of those realities that to have the kind of life that we had in mind it was going to take two incomes and probably both of us working away from home, that leads me to an important point that for us for a good life one of the key pillars of that is that I am at home with our children, we feel very strongly that that is important for kids to have a parent at home and you know we've decided in our marriage that that's going to be me who's full-time with our children just to like kind of nourish and guide them, you know so that is something that's important to us and it wasn't really something that we were willing to sacrifice for the sake of you know a bigger house or you know more land in the UK so those financials you know we felt were kind of limiting us for what we could achieve on just on just one income so the second motivation for us for leaving the UK was cultural and that's because when we both moved to the UK as I mentioned earlier on in the video we're neither of us are originally from the UK so although I have British parents I was born in Canada and Peter was born in Slovakia and so we both ended up in England for different reasons but loved so much about England, loved the countryside, loved the history, the culture, the people, the food, the great pubs, there's so much you know in Britain that we really really love and miss and you know that made it difficult to make the decision because we had both been quite invested for a long time in building a life together there and really hoping that that would be where we ended up long term but in the time since we had both moved to England it had changed a lot you know there's demographic shifts going on in England you know which are a concern I think a big concern and that's really changing the fabric of British society as you can see now and also for us the the community we found that quite difficult to build that really became a priority for us once we had children once you have kids you realize how important it is especially if you want to live a slightly more traditional lifestyle to have a wider village around you supporting you, good friends, genuine kind of warmth and connection where you all help each other out and you know share skills and your children are raised together that was really really difficult for us to build kind of despite our best best efforts so you know those two factors kind of culturally also pushed us towards feeling like there wasn't much more we could do there wasn't much more within our power to try to create that in England so maybe there would be somewhere else that we could try to do that again and we knew that it wouldn't be easy you know obviously starting from scratch somewhere else and moving to Europe does mean that you know we are now in a position where we need to try to build community in a new language but I will touch on that at the end of the video because as I said it so far has been overwhelmingly positive being here even with the language barrier even with navigating kind of new things and new systems and kind of new cultural understandings it has been you know great to be building a new community here and has been you know super welcoming and lovely I would say there's an important connection between those first two motivations for why we left the UK financial and cultural and we were talking about this the other night and it was really only then that I realized kind of how much that played a role in Peter's motivations to leave because you know he was working really hard working an office job not making a bad salary but when you are making that kind of money obviously the more money you make the more the government is taking in taxes and the last few successive governments in Britain have really it seems to be they've been doing everything they can with their policies to make life more difficult for hard-working British people and we are both British citizens so I would you know I do say that you know we're British as well obviously we we come from a mixed background but we're both British citizens so you know for hard-working British people those governments were really making everyday life more and more difficult whether by intention or you know by pure chance which I doubt that seems to be the trajectory so when you are working and you're paying taxes essentially what's happening is you're funding the government to make your life worse at the moment you know so they're putting money they're giving money to other groups they're sending money abroad almost doing kind of everything they can other than actively focusing on improving British people's life and the future of British children which obviously as parents is our main concern what kind of country are we raising our kids in what kind of future you know is going to be available to them in this environment and I think for Peter it just got to the point where it felt quite morally wrong in a way to keep working so hard to be financially supporting policies that he really you know to his core like disagreed with and and me as well just don't agree with the way that the government is spending people's money hard-working people's money so that was you know kind of a third factor that links the two the first two that pushed us to to make this decision and take this risk ultimately and the third reason the third motivation for leaving the UK which I won't go into too much detail about but it was emotional there were things going on you know with our wider family I have family in England that weren't really that healthy and despite again our best efforts to improve things and have you know a better family dynamic a better wider family you know connection and stuff that wasn't happening and it's now only kind of removing ourselves from that situation that I can see how much stress that was causing us how that impacted our marriage how that impacted our kids and so we knew at the time that it wasn't healthy and it kind of couldn't really go on that way so that was another reason that we felt like there were a lot of kind of doors that were closing in in England for us and we were you know forced to consider other options and you know I understand that you know people watching this would think maybe you're crazy because you know you're leaving behind everything you know leaving behind everyone you know but you know they are still only like a plane ride away and obviously Peter's family is in Slovakia so we do still have you know family connections all over the place but we just made the decision that for our young family we needed a new base a new fresh start so now you've heard the first part of the story that we decided to leave the UK and why we made that decision for our young family we made that decision before I was pregnant with number three who is here with me now but we did have two small children so it wasn't kind of a light undertaking we did do a lot of late night discussing researching considering whether we were crazy to consider it we prayed about it and in the end we decided that yes we should look into some options in Europe for where we could move with our two young children at the one of them is asleep behind me sunbathing in the sun and Italy was on the list so we had kind of a list of requirements places that we that places needed to meet for us to be able to move there and it really came down to three options which was Italy, Hungary and Latvia all very different places very different languages very different cultures so again we started to put it down on what would the financials be there what would the culture be like there and really again those were the two strong motivators for us what could we afford in those places and actually we could have afforded much more say in Hungary or in Latvia we would have spent a lot less there than we did on this house but culturally and also language-wise we really came down to Italy as the clear winner to consider because we've been to Italy quite a bit so we have a lot of fond memories of lovely holidays together great food beautiful architecture it's a predominantly Catholic country there was a lot of stuff in Italy's favor that just made it clear that that was what we should be considering for our family given our priorities also I think it would have been very very difficult to learn Hungarian or Latvian not impossible but I think they're supposed to be some of the hardest languages to learn so I'm going very slowly with my Italian already so it probably was for the best that I didn't try to learn Hungarian or Latvian so yeah as I said we could have afforded something we would have spent a lot less money buying in Hungary or in Latvia but we had to balance it out in the end although we would have spent less money I think Italy strikes the perfect balance for us to end up with a property that was bigger that gave us a bit more land but is still close to beautiful towns you know close enough to go swimming if we want to or explore elsewhere this is a really really beautiful area of Italy so we're really lucky to have ended up here and we love you know the local area and the local people so I think culturally we did know a little bit about Italian culture before we arrived there are the stereotypes and some of those are true in my experience now having lived here for eight months there are some of those stereotypes which are true but we couldn't really have known just how how good it would be for us culturally to be here what a good fit it would be for us here what do I mean by that well as I said earlier on in the video in England you know one of the cultural motivators for leaving England was the difficulty we found in building community and I have to say that here you know community is a really big deal family is still a really big deal here even if it's not your own family people treat you like you are family and we have felt that really from from the beginning here the way that the community has welcomed us in has really showed a lot of care and concern for us you know making sure that we were going to be okay with firewood asking how the children are when they're ill people bringing us meals when they knew that we were ill just dropping in with stuff that we might need for the house like some building supplies or furniture offering to help drive us places if we had car trouble and when we needed to buy another car when we were here just countless examples for how people have really been you know caring for us above and beyond and that has made it so lovely to then give back in a way that kind of love and affection that we wanted to show to kind of like you know our wider community in England but it was just kind of difficult to build up that that connection you know that genuine emotion so that has come a lot more naturally here it's also been a big benefit because we have kids so that has made the transition so much easier for them that they feel a lot of love from people here our neighbors are so sweet with them the people we go to church with are lovely with them people you know take them little sweets you know pass the money for gelato it's just again so many examples of the ways that those little gestures have made the girls transition to a new country and a new home so smooth and also really rather joyful you know I don't think there's much actually that they miss about the way things were in England because life here is just so good for them it's really just so much fun they have such a lovely time so many people that they see almost all of those interactions are so so positive and filled with love which as a parent is so nice to witness to see your children receiving that you know attention and affection from other people also as two people who are introverts we couldn't really have guessed this actually how helpful it would be but it's you know especially for me speaking from my own experience to be somewhere that people are very warm and also quite outgoing I would say and quite welcoming that has made it so much easier for me as someone who is an introvert to respond with affection because I don't have to make the first move and so many people here have made that first move to welcome us in it's then made it much easier to kind of respond with the same affection so like people invite us for coffee I invite them for lunch they bring us little sweet treats I did them some baking so I think it's bringing out something really nice and quite special in both of us that we can be a little bit more extroverted here we can be a little bit more of like an open door policy to our house like be relaxed enough that people can drop in for coffee or drop in for lemonade or just drop in to like see what we're up to and not have that kind of boundary set up where we feel like we need to be a little protective I think here you know genuinely people are are caring with us and with our families so you know we felt like that's really nice to just have a bit more of like an open door policy which we always wanted to have in England but it just was quite difficult to achieve that people would just drop in casually to see you and just see you and spend time with you and talk to you I think one of the key the key links between the motivations for leaving England and how it is now living in Italy is the way that we wanted to feel about our life so I said at the beginning of the video that we did some discerning for what a good life means for us in our marriage and for our family and you have to do the same you know we all have to go through that as adults like what does a good life mean and it means something very different to everybody but I think really what the good life came down to for us it wasn't you know a big house or land or you know the things that with some of the things that we've ended up with it's more the feeling you have about your life how do you feel in your own life and we just kept coming back to when we were in England like we want to feel hopeful about the future we want to feel like we are in charge of our own destiny and that was slipping away for us in England and since being here we we feel so so hopeful so positive so grateful every single day for all of the little blessings all of the little things in our life imperfect as the house it means loads of work you know and Italy is not a perfect country and I don't actually know how the next six months will go so things could go really badly in the next six months there might be some not very nice surprises with Italian bureaucracy or something might go wrong but I do know that now we are in a place where we have a genuine community around us who will be able to support us we're not alone in this we have lovely friends here we have people who care about us and will come to help us if we if we need anything and they'll do whatever they can to to help our family which you know really gives me peace of mind and a lot of peace every day just knowing that there's all these people out there in the little village at the bottom of the drive who are kind of thinking about us and and care about us and are our real friends that's so so lovely for me before we wrap this video up I want to take you down to the barn actually to meet our new little kittens and answer a few questions in the last few videos this is only our fourth video so in the three previous videos there's been some recurring questions that I do just want to address from the comments while I introduce you to our new little kittens as well so why don't we go and meet them okay everybody so we're in here our little kittens are kind of safe at the moment while they're adjusting to their new house so this is Mopsa this is Mopsa she's gonna be one of our barn cats they're called Mouser and Mopsa because they're sisters and that's two cat names from some of our favorite English kid stories I just love their little spotty tummies um but yeah I just wanted to show you adorable kittens while I answer some of your questions so I'll try to try to rattle through them uh if you haven't caught it from earlier on in the video uh you're all correct subscribers and people who left comments on the previous videos that I don't have a British accent you're quite right but I also don't have an American accent it's because I was raised in Canada and I've kind of kept that accent strong so if that answers your question um my husband's name is Peter if you missed that earlier a lot of people asked that what is his name at the moment I'm not going to tell you my kids names I just kind of feel that you know that's not necessary or appropriate for you guys to know kind of our full family's names come here my darling you can say hello as well this is Mouser she's got a little got a little fiery head which I think is super cute so yeah so I'm Canadian my husband is called Peter I'm not going to tell you our kids names at the moment and uh we don't have a trust fund somebody asked that but we must be here making it work here in this house because we have a fund it's not the case we just sold our house in England and bought this one so we don't have a trust fund somebody else asked how we make money and at the moment I kind of again don't really feel like that's necessary for you guys to know like what our job descriptions are but I do understand that like people are curious about how you make money kind of living off grid but everybody has to figure that out for themselves you have to figure out your outgoings what do you actually need to spend money on what are your priorities and then how much money do you need to make so um yeah that's you know for other people to figure out themselves how much money they need to live in Italy it's individual isn't it Mouser that's lovely that is a lovely lovely little purr thank you my darling somebody else asked how and when our kids are going to learn Italian what we're trying to do at the moment is really just consciously take them to as many social interactions where people don't speak English which is most people around here as possible so our neighbors don't speak any English I'm trying my best to practice Italian every day with apps on my phone Peter has less time because he's working so hard on the house but that is that's how we're doing it at the moment just making sure that the girls get lots of opportunities to kind of use the Italian that they do know mostly my four-year-old because my two-year-old doesn't really say much in English to be honest so she doesn't say much in Italian either but that's how they're learning at the moment just through exposure and I'm trying to do the same with myself just put myself in situations where I can't use Google Translate or people don't speak English and I will have to use the Italian that I am learning and practicing I'm lucky that I've got a few friends who are really good at correcting my Italian and again we know quite a few people who are lovely neighbors who don't speak any English so that is kind of like a great learning opportunity to be honest oh I remembered quite a few of you on our last video said that the footage was a bit shaky and that we should get a gimbal we know yeah we need to get a gimbal that is next that's next on the list but we were trying to kind of make it through you know a few videos without having that expense so we are aware that we need to to get a gimbal because it's great to be able to walk around the property with you and kind of show you things rather than me doing what I'm doing now which is just sitting in one spot with the lower half of my legs going a little bit numb but you know I had to do it to show you the kittens say bye to them so we're gonna be releasing videos every week on this channel I really hope that you guys like this one a little bit more in depth about our story about why we chose Italy and why we left the UK I hope it encourages you to seek you know more beautiful life for yourself and for your family and take a risk if you need to even if other people think you're crazy family friends you know you have your discussions with your partner or your husband or your wife and if there's something you can do to make your life better you gotta go for it we look forward to seeing you in another video we got so much exciting stuff coming up to show you still lots of kind of animals to introduce you to and bits of the renovations to show you so that's all still to come in our weekly videos but until next time take good care everybody