If You Laugh, You're Conservative PT.382 Memes & Comedy for Republicans & Trump Supporters | MAGA

Welcome back to If You Laugh, You're Conservative. Other soldiers when they're trapped. French soldiers. This video would be true, except the French would never even get involved in a war in the first place. Aren't you worried about your husband looking at other women at the beach? I just got my brakes fixed. The mechanics told me that I need to get my wheels rotated. As if they don't rotate every time I drive my car. I think this is why car batteries have that warning that says don't drink the contents. She's on her way to go buy some blinker fluid. Oh no, the music isn't working. Tonight the music seems so loud, I wish that we could lose- You know I come here four doors, not the coffee. My husband every time I say I have a headache. Have you drank enough water today? Hey, have you drank enough water today? Now that's an American display. Heck, it's a god bless America. I'm exhausted, can you do it please? You know, feminism and all. You got this. Can you explain me how to do it? Asking your man to explain how to do it is the cure to feminism. It's super easy, I explained to you. You have to push and pull with feeling. It's not about being strong, it's about the right mindset. Hey, somebody's out there looking at the Ford Raptor. Probably just another dreamer wanting a joyride. Look at the socks. Oh yeah, that's an 800 credit score right there. What is something that immediately tells you someone has a high credit score and you can't say that they're white? When you lean too far back in the chair while watching the wrong video. Oh, you're about to die twice, homie. Can't even have peace in the afterlife, she's coming for you. You accidentally hurt your dog. I'm so sorry, honey. Versus when your dog hurts you. You're gonna cry? Most businesses offer veterans a discount for serving our country, but this one tattoo shop in Florida is doing the exact opposite. Revival Tattoo Collective in Largo, Florida is owned by Brady Martison, and Brady is offering a 20% discount if you can prove you're not military or law enforcement. It sounds like something would happen in California, not Florida. He went even further saying that current and former service members are not welcome and will be turned away. Here's what he posted on Facebook. He said, I see a lot of shops supporting the military and law enforcement offering deals locally. I've got one as well. 20% discount on any tattoo if you can prove you're not law enforcement or military. And don't get all in the comments. He really needs the work, blah, blah, blah. This is just giving back to people who aren't hateful like yourselves and can see things for what it is. He then reposted this saying, disgraceful bunch of hypocrites in the military. 250 years of disservice. Remember, you have to give someone a gay rainbow pride tattoo, but you can't tattoo an American flag because that's hate speech. What would you do in this situation? Not let my kid play with my keys in an elevator, first of all. The dog tags of 58,000 US soldiers killed during the Vietnam War at the Harold Washington Library Center in Chicago. Anybody want a hot dog? Gotta flip those every two to three years. When you can tell he wanted boys. You guys mean the world to me. Chandler, Sawyer, Hunter, Tyler. Chandler, Sawyer, Hunter, and Tyler. Sawyer, Hunter, maybe. Tyler? In a world where you can be anything, don't feel guilty if all you want to be is a mom. Now that is a gender reveal. That's crazy. That's like a commercial airliner dumping down the flame retardant. That's the big boy. And it's a girl. I think a bear got in by your pool. So Supergirl is set to bomb at the box office nationally and internationally. We are tired of these woke ideologies infiltrating Hollywood because it started with this. So we're all having a baby. And don't forget about woke white. I mean, you know, the original cartoon came out in 1937. And very evidently so. There is a big focus on her love story. Literally stalks her. Weird. No longer 1937. Is not going to be saved by the prince. She's not going to be saved by the prince. And she's not going to be dreaming about true love. And now it's Millie Alcock's turn in the new Supergirl movie. The red carpet movies hit during pride month. And surprise, that's all they talked about. Because she doesn't live inside the binary of what we think a woman should be. That that is what makes her so special and so exciting and so new. And I'm lying about Taurus queerness in the comics. Was that something that you explored when you were preparing for the role? It wasn't. But in honor of getting all these questions. Oh, I think that what makes this film so beautiful is that it's not centered around a man. It's not centered around love. It's also not centered around a cohesive script. So because the characters fear strong and doesn't have a love interest, she must be queer. Crazy idea. Women can be multifaceted without checking every identity box. Strong female characters don't automatically need to be outside the binary. They can just be strong woman. Oh my gosh, I know. Millie and Rachel sound like they have had the exact same media trainer. What is this weird obsession with this movie isn't centered around a man? And they want to do away with the whole love story. Like love stories are not a bad thing. The budget for this film was around $170 million, and it's already being considered a massive box office flop. I've heard it needs to make 300 million just to break even. There have been some badass women characters before. Look at Ellen Ripley in Alien. There's a way to do strong women without being woke. And Hollywood has forgotten how to do it when you try to exercise. But people have zero self-awareness. She says as she punches the air at the bottom of a staircase. Sorry. No, there's just no way somebody can be this self-entitled. We have to send you to a laboratory so we can see what's going on with your brain. Yeah, hook their brain up to that machine. There's no way somebody can be this selfish. I want to see what's going on in their head. Oh yeah, that explains it. It almost makes you feel bad for them. You know, a few scoops of that creatine and they'll get the old mental clarity back. You cannot tell HR about this. Now with the World Cup, we've had a lot of tourists coming into America. But what about when Americans go to other countries? That's not a chicken wing. That's a chicken wing. That's a chicken nugget. And this is the flavors? Salt, pepper, and onion powder. I'm not going to eat it. There's no flavor in this house. Her face is my face. I can see why so many Americans are obese. But you know, God bless America. That's a small. Now Bill Maher thanked J.D. Vance for actually coming on to his show. He has said only Republicans will do his show. The Democrats that he voted for refused to come on. Did your view of J.D. Vance change at all after you did the interview with him? Did what? Your views and your opinion of J.D. Vance heading into the interview versus after? Mine didn't because I talk to these guys all the time. And when I say these guys, I mean politicians and Republicans. And so I know they're always going to be like that. They're never like this. Oh, everyone says after the show, Marjorie Taylor Greene. I kind of liked her. And it's like, yeah, everybody's a monster till you talk to them. And, you know, are there things we're never going to agree on? Yeah. And but, you know, they a guy like that. I knew it. I knew that kind of guy. They're happy warriors. You hit him with, you know, three really, really hard hitting things that say you can't keep doing that. And they just they answer it. They evade it. But they don't hold it against you. It doesn't turn hateful. That's who it is. Some people don't want that. They want you know, they would never be happy unless J.D. Vance walked out and I punched him in the nose. That's the only thing that would satisfy certain people. I don't play that game. I like to actually talk to people. Yes, being violent against a Republican because you disagree with them. That would appease a lot of the Democrat Party. Reason 17, why you should move to the country. You're convincing me. Can you hear that? No Karen's crying and calling the cops. To be fair, I could do that in my neighborhood, but there would be consequences. Do you know why? This is normal country living. So if you move out in the country, don't bring your city BS out here. It's Australia's Ryan Williams. What the heck was that? What the heck just happened? Here it is right here. Look it. It's a double grab and then he throws it somehow into a nothing front bike flip. How is that possible? I'm not even kidding right now. I'm looking at this. The physics of this doesn't make sense. Five skunks versus my dog. No, Pepper, Pepper, Pepper. Come here, come here. No. Pepper, no. No, Pepper. No, Pepper, no. No, Pepper. Pepper's about to get spicy. Pepper, no, Pepper, no, Pepper, no, no. Pepper, get over here. Come here, come here, come here, come here. Stay away from her. Pepper, no, please. Pepper, Pepper, you're going to get sprayed. Get the **** away. You got sprayed, didn't you? Did you get sprayed? I assume you probably did. Get away from me. We're trying to hit 600,000 subscribers before July 4th. If you're not subscribed, click below and subscribe now. But please don't worry about me. If I have to leave, I'll be with Jesus. Oh, please don't think about that. Life down here ain't all we have, so don't you fear. Daddy's here right now. Let's just trust in Jesus. My eyes are sweaty for some reason. Now for a truly motivating cover. Some white guys trying to sing in Mandarin. If you spot a bear in the woods, here's how to know whether you are safe to continue on or whether you should not approach. For example, if the bear is holding one or more chainsaws, you should probably not approach. But what if you are also wielding a chainsaw? Is it okay to duel? And now what you know is more than what you knew. Gotta go. What sound does a Tesla make? Trevor, what sound does a Tesla make? Brandon, what sound does a Tesla make? Uh, Tesla. Nate, what sound does a Tesla make? Austin, what sound does a Tesla make? True story. I used to work for the guy who owns this Tesla Cybertruck. If you could switch bodies. Okay, look, we're about to switch bodies. This is the magic fountain. Let's go. Yo, I'm white! What's the first thing you would do if you got transported into a black man's body? And you can't say put a battery in your smoke alarm. What goes up must come down. Oh. Don't be shooting 4th of July up in the air. That's not smart. I like how he just put it back and left it. Have a good day. If you've never shot tracer rounds before, you need to try it. Out in the desert, hundreds of miles away from anybody. Just shoot him up in the air and you'll see how far a bullet can actually travel. Mickey Mouse didn't like Donald's beatbox? Oh, yo, what's up? Shut the f**k up! You're next door to the toilet! So dumb. Okay, you guys should probably know not to mess around with this guy. I'm gonna wheat fight him. Okay. But if someone tries to fight me, I'm gonna try to avoid the fight. I'm gonna hide. But if you find me... You're not gonna be feeling so good from finding out how you're gonna feel from getting hit by me, actually. Something tells me this guy keeps nunchucks on him at all times. Is this the only way to listen to Nickelback? The real test is to see if Nickelback is gonna copyright claim this video. If you're seeing this part, it means they didn't. How Usher stays in shape at 47. See, my workout routine is popping and locking. I don't know. How does Usher talk? Gotta feel the burn! If you can't sleep at night, it's probably because you're awake. I hope that helps. Why don't you have abs? Abs is not a thing of power. It's just a sign you don't eat enough. Iran has become the first country to be bombed by their host country in the World Cup. What an honorable distinction. They had Iran at the World Cup and they put them in the official Pride Month mansion. Which is... That's how you know there's a God. That's crazy funny. That is also very American to do, to go to war with a country and then be like, Also, you're gay. Paint it on rainbow, fill them with glitter and bacon grease just for a little extra razzle-dazzle. It's a concept car. It probably just has a V6 to move around. It looks like a Miata and a Challenger had a baby. Sure, vacations are expensive, but how can you put a price tag on your child being ungrateful in a different state? Priceless. Well, should we go to the bar? I'm good. What? Why? Because I'm gonna drink in my garage. But the bar is like way more fun. More fun than reorganizing my tools? Yeah. That's not fun, that's work. At my age, they're the same thing. Well, no, dude, you're not getting it. I drink in the garage because it's cheaper, I don't gotta talk to anyone, and my wife thinks I'm out here fixing something. It's a win-win-win. You know, that actually makes some sense. You know what? Screw it, I'm in. What are we fixing first? A drink. Come on, let me show you. Can't get a DUI if you're in the garage still. Now, they say America is not playing fair by bombing Iran during the World Cup, but Sweden has a message for France. Listen up, France! We've taken your national treasure! Not the baguette! We will only give it back under one condition. France must lose the World Cup game against Sweden. Yes, and to show that we are serious, Freja, pick out the pickle herring. Are they waterboarding a baguette? Just like that. Don't tell people your dreams, just live them. There you go, just gotta sail your bedroom around. That's living. You're the kind of girl people write books about. Psychotic disorder is a practical guide. Some more Garrett Galvin. This giant American crocodile absolutely loves chicken. He's my friend now. This 17-foot giant could be pushing over 100 years old. Does he have a tooth coming up out of his nostril? And he is a big sweetheart. Now it's time to explore the jungle. Boop! Sorry, Mr. Red-Eyed Tree Frog. This is a highly venomous Costa Rican coral snake. Definitely don't recommend yoinking up one of these. Their kisses are rare unless you're yoinking. When you get your nose hair plucked. I like when they commit to the bit. This libtard is upset about the wallpaper at the fair. And again, this is that fake kind of facade or the old trash cans. But you know, you can see here, of course, this is not, you know, that is printed on. It is like Wile E. Coyote, right? You know, where he runs into the. When you have Trump Derangement Syndrome, you get mad when he spends money, like on the reflecting pool. You get mad when he doesn't spend enough money, like the fair. The roadrunner's traps, right? That's basically what it looks like. Oh my gosh, a UFC event, a ballroom, the reflecting pool. He's spending so much money. But he should have sprung for some better wallpaper. Is this the new CV rig? I wish, man. What are these? Half a million dollars? I think conservative creators are going to have to roll around in these. Just for our own safety. One step from the clouds. Okay, it doesn't list where this is. Does anyone know? When your dog was found out on the streets. Well, homie is back in. Is that a lot of cash and some dog nip? When you show her your ex-girlfriend's house. Oh, so right here? That's actually my ex's house. Oh, you're so silly. You know that's my house. Not a bad way to do it. At least he didn't do it over text, right? Okay. Something I for sure want to do to the CV humpy. Get a lift on it and get some 40s on it. Right now it's got 37s. Teeny weenie really thought he did something here. He really thought he was that guy. Natural is what God made Adam and Eve. So God didn't make gay people? No, that's sin. And sin came from the devil. No, no, sin is a conscious decision. Being gay is not a conscious decision. Well, actually being gay is a conscious decision. Okay, could you choose to be gay? It's an action. Could you choose to be gay? Yes, absolutely. I actually could have chose to be gay when I was younger. Could you choose to be attracted to your mom? A lot of women actually. Could you choose to be attracted to your mom? If attractions are a choice, could you choose to be attracted to your mom? Can you choose to be a pedophile? No, I couldn't choose to be a pedophile. Could you choose to be attracted to your mom? Oh, so there you go. He thinks, no, it's an action, honey. And you can choose to sin or you can choose not to sin. You don't come from a biblical standpoint. What are the first four books of the New Testament? You don't live in reality. I live in reality where I know that a tree is a tree. A woman is a woman. A man's a man. And if you are choosing, and if you're choosing, oh, see, that's what they do. When they can't win an argument, they go for calling. Okay, pause, pause. Dean, got to ask that you don't do personal attacks. That's a warning. Okay. Whenever they've had a Republican on these types of shows, Charlie Kirk, Michael Knowles, I'll tell you one thing they don't do, name calling. Hey, Deany Weany, I might think my neighbor's car is nice, but unless I take the action to steal it, there's a big difference between having an urge and actually acting on it. Like this mayoral candidate of Hamilton, Ontario, who requires a sock puppet when she's speaking. Andrew Horvath refused to meet with me when I was the victim of a hate crime, and we were at the safety summit, and she had her communications person, Amanda Kinnaird, stand in front of me like I was a feral dog, when I actually just wanted to- Oh, this is a dude. Be respected. That's when I knew I wanted to run for mayor. It's like a South Park episode, but it's not. I was a cook in the army. What's your disability rating? 80%. Okay. Those mashed potatoes traumatized me. Too much mash, not enough potato. At least I'm not the ones that come on the show and are like 100% doing f**k all with their life. You're in one class and you don't work. The real reason he's here is because he's tired of the BS in America and plans to leave the country. 100%. What's the BS you're escaping, though, to go over there? Women. I've been told you're looking for a Filipina cook, clean, and take care of the house. I can get that over there in the Philippines or in Southeast Asia for less than $200 a month. And what age agent are you looking for? We'll see. When I go over there. There's something you need to know, and that is I'm Chris Hansen. Why can lefties never answer these questions? Do you think that gays have lost any rights under the conservative administration that we have right now? Absolutely. What rights have they lost? I think... Sorry. It's okay. Girl, why are you nervous? It's all good. Is this live streaming? No, no, no. If you're done, that's totally fine. Have a good day. I like Savannah here because she's a black woman who comes in a rainbow dress, gets their guard down, and actually asks them the questions that they can't answer. You can't do these street interviews in a MAGA hat. They won't even talk to you. In fact, they'll probably assault you, which has happened to Savannah, unfortunately. When your wife says, Hey, don't make plans this weekend. We have two birthday parties. Me. Take me. I don't think I can show this on YouTube. Supergirl is a super fail. I have many queer friends. So honestly, I'm kind of honored. I think because she doesn't live inside the binary of what we think a woman should be. That is what makes her so special and so exciting and so new. And just like that, Supergirl bombed in the box office. Hollywood just doesn't want to learn this lesson. Without being greedy, how much money you need right now to solve all your problems? Be honest in the comments. How much money would you need? Probably enough to pay off my mortgage and my truck loan. It's hard to say what you need, not what you want. I don't know. When you scare yourself eating. This is real. Muslim Mayor Mondani at a pride parade in New York City. Why don't you go back to his home country? They'll throw a parade right before they throw you off a roof. Are y'all still waiting for me to get hit by that sandwich? What video made you laugh? Drop a comment down below. Don't forget to like and subscribe to Conservative Vibes. I'm C.V. and I'll see you in the next video. Time is running out to grab a limited edition gold God Bless America t-shirt. They'll no longer be available after the 4th of July, so grab yours before it's gone. God bless you. God bless home. From the back road. To the heart of the road. Till the next good time. And the next deep dive. God bless you and your Conservative Vibes.