Two Founding Fathers. One park bench. 250 years of unfinished business

It is fitting that Adams and Jefferson both left us on the same day, the 50th anniversary of our founding. May each future marking of July 4th bring forth their spirits. Today we celebrate America's 250th birthday. Happy death day. Here we are again. Again. Year after year, they get farther and farther from our founding spirit. You said that last year and the year before that. Well, this year is definitely worse. You know, they don't even know how to celebrate this holiday. He's eating a hamburger over there. She's eating a hot dog. What else are you supposed to do? Yo, what's up then, Franklin? John Adams, second president of the United States. Oh, the beer guy. Here comes the best part. When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary. I was much handsomer in my youth, wasn't I? You have nothing to complain about. I mean, you got your memorial in D.C., you got your face on the $2 bill, you're the best part of Hamilton. I'm not even in Hamilton. You know, we really should be celebrating the 2nd of July. You know, that was the day I engineered the vote for independence. You know, no vote, no declaration. No, everyone just loves you and your beautiful quill. Oh, I love riding with that quill. Oh, yeah. Just put my ink on there and dip it. Shove that quill up your ass. Well, don't threaten me with a good time. It's true to be self-evident that all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their creator. Endowed. Yeah, that was a real winner. Led us straight into a civil war that almost destroyed the country. It is not a statement of fact, but an ideal to aspire to. A vision of government as reflection of nature's law. A principle that makes America a beacon of liberty to the rest of the world. Lizzie's on the grill. Hot dog, hot dog. Yes. They're celebrating the spirit of 76, which is still at the core of all that is good about this great nation after all these years. Are you going to start floating again? Everyone just seems lost from one another. Do you remember when you and I were lost from one another? The lies and smears you employed when we ran for president against each other in 1800 is unforgivable. Say hello to George Washington. See how it feels? I did what I did to stop you from handing the country over to the concentrated power of the financial interest. You called me a hermaphrodite. Mom, are these guys about to start the next civil war or something? Of course not, sweetie. They were on the same team. Our beef killed me, bro. I was most glad after so many years estranged when you extended your hand. I felt it was important that we not die before we explained ourselves to each other. Our letters to one another brought me great solace as we came to the end of our mortal coil. It was that same spirit of 1776, the one that brought us together in the first place. If we could find it again, then so can they. That truth is not self-evident to me. Have faith, my dear friend. The fire we started all those years ago still burns. The flame may flicker at times, but the light of liberty still guides us ever forward. That's about that time. Until next year, my friend. Happy Death Day.