Don t Have Time To Practise English

Almost every woman I know has something that she wants for herself, but it just keeps getting pushed until later. Like not cancelled, just something that she'll get to later. Like it could be losing weight, or it might be learning something new, like how to paint. It might be finally learning to speak English confidently. And the strange thing is, the longer that that thing stays on the list, the more you just get used to it being there. Like it's always just that thing that you'll get to one day. And you tell yourself, I'm definitely gonna do it. Yep, I just don't have time right now. And that whole conversation that you have with yourself, it works really, really well until you're at a wedding or at a work event or somewhere where you really want to feel like your best. And then there it is again, guilty feeling like you still haven't done anything about this. Hello, welcome back to all of our regular listeners and welcome to anyone who's joining us for the very first time. This is the Confident English podcast. I'm your host, Emma, founder of Hey Lady, an online community that brings women together from all around the world to practice speaking English. Every week, right here, we break down the barriers that stop you from speaking with confidence, whether that's at work, while you're traveling, or in everyday life. And if you've been learning English for a long time, but you're still struggling to speak up, then you are in exactly the right place. I'm really glad that you're here and that we've got the chance to dive into this episode together. Today, I want to share a message from Daria. She's from Ukraine, and she sent us a message. It's actually not about this podcast. It's about our community. And she says, Hi, Emma, I found Hey Lady last week, and I have been looking in your website. I see all the women enjoying their time together, and I want that. Like friends in other country, but also I'm thinking, how much time these women have to study, to practice, to make friends. I work, I have a son, I just don't think I have time for this. So I feel stuck. Daria, thank you for your comment and your thoughts about this. I love hearing from you, and you're definitely not alone. As a coach, as an English teacher, as a community builder, I've heard this issue, this conundrum many times. Women often tell me how much they want the confidence to be able to speak and to make friends and to actually feel like themselves when they speak in English. But then they say, but I just don't have time right now. And I've thought about why that is a lot. Like I've researched it, I've spoken to our members about it, and I've got lots of my own thoughts about it too. So I'm ready to share. If you have ever said to yourself, I'm too busy to practice English right now, I am not going to tell you that that's wrong. I have the same struggles learning Spanish and the same struggles trying to prioritize an art class that I would really love to start going to. I'm definitely not here to just pretend that life is simple and obvious. You might be working, you might be caring for parents and driving your kids here and there and everywhere else, running a household. You might be volunteering at school or at the church, helping other people and still trying to get a little bit of yourself together at the end of a busy day. I get it. Your life is full and I believe you. But the stories that we often tell ourselves inside our own heads, they matter so much more than we tend to realize. And there is a really big difference between the thought, I don't have time to practice English and the thought, English is not my priority right now. There is a big difference there. When you say English is not my priority right now, it's a decision. You are in control of that. And if it's genuinely true for you, then that's great. That's absolutely fine. Say it and mean it. I'm choosing that English is not important for me right now. Other things are more important and I'm choosing to prioritize those things. Now, compare that to I don't have time for English or I don't have time for something. It's one of those expressions that we actually don't often mean literally. Sometimes it just means I'm just too exhausted from everything else that's going on. Sometimes it means I tried doing that before, it didn't work. Sometimes it means it's too hard and I can't be bothered. Now, none of these things are related to time. But what they do have in common is that they, conveniently, they all move the responsibility away from you. It's because of everything else that's happening that you don't have time and it's not your choice. And even though this seems like a really small difference, it's really disempowering because that's the thing that leaves us feeling disappointed and frazzled because we're not in control. But you do have a choice. You are able to be in control. It's when we don't make time for the things that truly matter to us, well, that's when we run into trouble. I want you to think about someone that you haven't spoken to for a while. You keep meaning to call them. You really do. Every few weeks, they pop up in your head and you think, oh, I really should call them. But you don't. And then another few weeks go by and now you start feeling a bit guilty, like you owe them an explanation. And that feels a bit awkward, right? That five-minute phone call that you could have made a month ago has somehow become this big emotional weight that's sitting on your shoulders. And your partner asks you, hey, have you called them yet? And you say, oh, no, no, no, but I will. I've just been so busy. Busy. Such a useful word because as soon as you say it, you can immediately sit down on the couch and watch Netflix. You're just exhausted. It's been such a long day, right? Now, before anyone gets upset, I am not attacking Netflix. I love Netflix. It helps me to create more time, enough time to watch a random series about a serial killer who collected a whole bunch of random porcelain dolls in the 1980s. And three episodes later, and now it's almost midnight, all of these theories that you have about what happened and how to solve the case, but you still haven't made the phone call because the problem wasn't ever really time. You found time. You had time. The problem was that one thing felt easy and rewarding and the other felt hard and annoying and uncomfortable. And if I'm truthful about it, that is definitely what happens to me sometimes. And it's exactly what happens with learning English. For a lot of the women that I know, the longer that you leave it and you put it off, the bigger it gets in your mind. It gets a little heavier and a little harder. And speaking English starts to feel like that phone call that I was talking about. Something that you've been avoiding, that you've been putting off and you've been waiting to start for weeks and weeks and then months and longer. Think about the things in your life that you do make time for. The things that you protect, maybe time with your family or a friendship that is really important to you. Maybe it's your health. Maybe it's your sleep. Some things we protect because life has shown us what happens when we don't. And for other things, we might make time because they give us something back. They give us joy. They make us feel connected. They're rewarding and they're fulfilling. And I wonder if you've ever thought about English in that way as something that could give you joy and connection and fulfillment. Most women haven't thought about this. And for many, English feels like something that they have to do so that they can get somewhere else, like get a better job or pass a test or communicate with their colleagues at work, maybe help their children. And so English becomes study, homework, grammar, all of the hard things. Another thing to do on an already really long, full list. And of course, it can easily get pushed aside then. But when you're in the middle of all of that, it's so easy to forget what language is actually about. Language is a window. It's a window to people and ideas and stories and cultures outside of our own. And speaking English opens that window in a way that watching or reading or studying never can. Because instead of just observing from the outside, now you are part of the conversation. You're sharing stories, stories with people that you would never have met otherwise. You're building these friendships in places that you've never been. Maybe you're finding work opportunities and adventures that you can finally say yes to. Speaking English with confidence can bring you real joy, a bigger world, a more rewarding life. And isn't that the reason why you put English on your list in the very first place? So what does it actually look like when English becomes a priority? I think this brings us right back to Daria's question, because making time for English doesn't have to be as enormous and overwhelming as it feels in your head right now. Many of the women inside Hey Lady have very full lives. They have work, they've got kids, partners, parents, all of the responsibilities. They're not women with heaps of spare hours just floating around, but they do have one thing in common. They protect one small window to nurture their life in English. For 15 or 30 minutes, they close the door and they step into our online platform. Some of our members call it me time, and I love that. Their families know that she is not available, right? And she protects that time because it gives something back to her. Speaking English no longer feels like a chore. It becomes something that she wants to return to because it leaves her feeling invigorated and more connected and more confident. And that doesn't just stay inside the Hey Lady platform, it follows her back into her everyday life. We often hear our members saying that their husbands or their workmates or even their kids notice she's happier, she's more confident, she's speaking up more. And that's what's on the other side of choosing English, choosing to prioritize English. It doesn't need to be overwhelming. You don't need to be perfect. You just need to start with 15 minutes, one conversation, and take it from there. So ladies, if you want to experience what this can feel like for yourself, you are so welcome to come and try out Hey Lady. Your first seven days are free, so you can step in, you can meet the other women who are there, you can join some conversations and see for yourself. And you can start today, not someday, not later, but today. Using the link that is in the description down below, you can start your seven day free trial. Just like picking up the phone and making that call. And we'll be there to remind you that you had nothing to worry about, that you are enough, that you do belong, and that you can become the very best version of yourself in English. Thank you so much for spending time with me today. And remember, English can be just another thing on your list. Or it can be something that brings you joy and connection and confidence, and you get to make that choice. I'll see you in the next episode.