Elle Woods' First Trial - Legally Blonde - HBO

Ms. Woods, you may begin your questioning. First of all, I would like to point out that not only is there no proof in this case, but there's a complete lack of mens rea, which by definition tells us that there can be no crime without a vicious will. I am aware of the meaning of mens rea. What I'm unaware of is why you're giving me a vocabulary lesson when you should be questioning your witness. Yes, Your Honor. Um, Ms. Windham, when you arrived back at the house, um, was your father there? Not that I saw, but like I said, I went straight upstairs to take a shower. And, uh, when you came downstairs, what happened? I saw Brooke standing over his body, drenched in his blood. Um, but Mrs. Windham didn't have a gun. No, she'd stashed it by then. Who'd distract that from the record, Your Honor? It's speculation. So stricken. Um, Ms. Windham, did you hear a shot fired? No, I was in the shower. Okay, so sometime in the 20 minutes that you were in the shower, your father was shot. I guess. Your father was shot while you were in the shower, but you didn't hear the shot because, um, because you were in the shower? Yes, I was washing my hair. Where is she going with this? Have a little faith, Jordan. Um, Ms. Windham, what had you done earlier that day? I got up, got a latte, went to the gym, got a perm, and came home. Where you got in the shower? I believe the witness has made it clear that she was in the shower. Yes, Your Honor. Um, Ms. Windham, had you ever gotten a perm before? Yes. How many would you say? Two a year since I was 12. You do the math. You know, a girl in my sorority, Tracy Marcinko, got a perm once. We all tried to talk her out of it. Curls weren't a good look for her. She didn't have your bone structure. But thankfully, that same day, she entered the Beta Delta Pi wet t-shirt contest where she was completely hosed down from head to toe. Objection. Why is this relevant? Oh, I have a point, I promise. Then make it. Yes, ma'am. Um, Chutney, why is it that Tracy Marcinko's curls were ruined when she got hosed down? Because they got wet. Exactly. Because isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you're forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thigh glocculate? Yes. And wouldn't somebody who's had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule? And if, in fact, you weren't washing your hair, as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot? And if, in fact, you had heard the gunshot, Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs, which would mean that you would have had to have found Mrs. Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible. Isn't that right? She's my age. Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age? You, however, had time to hide the gun, didn't you, Chutney, after you shot your father? I didn't mean to shoot him. I thought it was you walking through the door. Order! Oh, my God. Bailiff, take the witness into custody, where she will be charged for the murder of Hayworth Windham. In the matter of the state versus Brooke Windham, this case is dismissed. Mrs. Windham, you're free to go.