If You Laugh, You're Conservative PT.388 Memes & Comedy for Republicans & Trump Supporters | MAGA

How I imagine each firework passing gas. All right, this is the perfect blend of America and toilet humor. Welcome back to If You Laugh, You're Conservative. Giant kites could pull cargo ships across the ocean and slash their carbon emissions. That is just revolutionary. Never seen before. You may have seen kite surfers in action, harnessing the power of the wind to pull them over the sea. Now imagine, try to imagine this. The same concept applied to a 1,000 square meter kite flying 300 meters above the water. The liberals have just discovered the concept of sailboats. Sailboats were invented in 4,000 BC. You got a fast car, you drive too fast, please slow down. This is what my wife would be singing in front of our house all day, every day. 70 miles in a school zone. You wipe the blading off the children and you're gonna get a speeding ticket. You lose your license and your job at Target. Your vehicle has been impounded. Your car is not so fast anymore. So in California, we can't have plastic bags because it's bad for the environment. But we can, we can have homeless people living and defecating on the streets. Heaven on earth. Meeting the author of Minecraft. Where have you been? I just dropped my son off to a book reading at the library. Who's the author? The guy that wrote Minecraft. I thought that was a game. I guess it was a book fest. The end. Now wasn't that a fun little story, everybody? Now who wants a photo with Uncle Adam? What? These are so stupid. Why do I love them? There's lots of racism in the world. I saw this post on social media the other day. Someone said, how would you feel if your daughter brought home a black man? And it's like, this ain't 1950 anymore, okay? It's 2026, pal. My daughter is a black man, okay? This video just went viral featuring a Canadian-based non-profit that's promising to end homelessness entirely with their new creation, which is a set of so-called tiny, tiny homes. And here's a little bit of their presentation. There's a little tiny home here. So it is four feet by seven feet. So it's 28 square feet total. Look, a place to do drugs. I want to show you around a few things. Take a peek. I'm six foot one. I fit in here. I got a lot of space. So inside here, you got your ventilation. This is really important for the wintertime, or sorry, for the summertime. You can keep all your heat and you can cook. Right here, you got a desk. Oh, they be cooking something in there. That's a way you can, uh, you can eat, do your artwork. Look, I'm hating a lot on this, right? But they've tried this before, these little tiny home communities, and they just become drug dense. Whatever you got to do. I got a propane burner behind me. Where do we sleep, Ryan? When you're ready to go to bed, I grab this back cushion, put it down, move it over. Damn. And the same thing for this one, right? This cushion as well slots down. Well, it all sounds fantastic. At least if you've never interacted with a homeless person in your entire life, the unhoused people can use the tiny desk for sending emails and, you know, joining conference calls and big relief for everyone, because as we all know, nothing is more annoying than organizing a conference call and then realizing that the local hobo didn't log on. And then the unhoused individual can access propane, which certainly won't be misused in any way. That can't. Nothing bad can happen there with a homeless person with a propane tank. This is a day in the life of a guy in a horror movie. First thing I do is arrive to my remote cabin in the woods. Looks like I don't have service. Oh, well. Then I meet a foreboding old lady who tells me the legend of El Gordito, a local gardener who went crazy and started killing people. Cool. That's the legend of El Gordito. I taunt the universe by completely laughing this off and dismissing it. Once I get inside, something catches my eye. El Gordito. But then I realize it was just an illusion and I'm safe until someone jumpscares me and strangles me. Oh, it's just my cousin, James. He got me good. Later on, we do a little character development, but then James goes to the bathroom, leaving me all alone. I hear a scream and decide to do the smart thing and immediately go towards it. Yeah, this is the white thing to do. Then I see James on the ground. James? At 10 p.m., I do a little running for my life. It's good to get in my cardio. When suddenly I trip for no reason and fall to the ground. El Gordito stands over me and gets ready to kill me. And that's my day. Well, Donald Trump has done it now. The mainstream media is furious with him over the Fourth of July. They say he ruined it. Totally ruined it. Yeah, because apparently it was it was all about him instead of what it was supposed to be about, you know, like land acknowledgements and trans story hour. And, you know, celebrating the people that built America, like Somali immigrants with daycare centers in Minneapolis. But instead, he made it about state fairs and UFC fights and totally awesome flyovers demonstrating American military dominance. In short, I loved it. POV, you got your dream car. Horse? G-Wagon? Creeper van. You know, it matches the aesthetic. I just I think it's a nightmare to watch people trying to stop America from being America. Elsie Grammer, love to hear it. I don't believe in globalism. I don't believe in anything else. I think the shining city on the hill is one of the things I still really believe in. There's a lot of people trying to pull it down. And that that is part of our world. Have you guys seen Young Washington yet? Maybe we should rent out a theater and do a subscriber meetup. I hear it's great. There were complaints immediately after or reports like this one from CNN saying residents of D.C. briefly experienced the worst air quality of any major city in the world. Briefly. According to a company that ranks pollution globally as the capital reckoned with the aftermath of a massive 40 minute 4th of July fireworks show. Suck it, CNN. Like we're all exhausted by you. Just shut up. My God, I mean, right. Can you just give it a rest now? Second and recognize that for that few moments that the air pollution was really bad. It was totally worth it. This 4th of July weekend, Hollywood got another expensive reality check. Let's compare two very different movies that dropped around the 4th of July. On one side, you have Supergirl, a massive big studio blockbuster superhero movie. Its opening was OK, but the second weekend, which was the 4th of July weekend, it tanked with around $10 million. But on the other side, you have Young Washington, a historical drama that cost around $30 million to make. It earned around $21 million 4th of July weekend. This was a way smaller budget, no giant corporate machine, and it connected well with the viewers. I mean, even Chris Pratt, the man from Guardians of the Galaxy himself said this. OK, get off your run to the movie theater and go see Young Washington. I just got out of a screening of this movie. I can't believe it. It's so good. And the prediction markets saw it coming. People on Calshy predicted that the Supergirl rating on Rotten Tomatoes would get about 56%. And that's exactly what it got. The Calshy forecast for Young Washington was about 57.5% and it scored exactly 60%. I mean, Calshy's literally predicted the Oscars down to a T, so this does not surprise me. The audience scores like an 80, though. Critics score, of course, they hate America. Here's the clear sign Hollywood refuses to read. Girl Power movie comes out. Men don't watch it. Women don't watch it. Women attack men for not watching it. Maybe don't bash men and then blame them for not watching your movie. It's the same tired cycle repeating over and over. And don't forget this, Hollywood. Half of your audience, if not more, are Republicans and conservatives who love this country. Give people stories that inspire, unite, and actually entertain. And just watch what happens at the box office after that. Because right now, the receipts are screaming loud and clear, woke equals broke. I love it here. We love the accent. I've been practicing the what you call the British accent, like the proper one. Do you mind if I try it? I've been working on this 10 years. All right, so here's my... Good to be here. Thank you so much for having me. That's the anthem, the British... Well, the United States has lost to Belgium. Sad to see. In the World Cup, and it was not particularly close. Yeah, we kind of got crushed. But you know what? It's time to be good sportsmen. It's time to take our L and congratulate the Belgians on a great game. Let them know that we bare them no ill will. What's that? We found oil in Brussels. How about that? Oil and waffles will be there soon. Nice to see you. What's your name? I'm Davion. I frequent the table a lot. Oh, cool. Good. One of my big questions is if someone who wasn't crazy, because we know Stalin was crazy, Lenin's crazy, everybody else is crazy, did socialism. Would it still end up bad? Yes. Every time it's been tried, it has failed. Socialism lends itself to people that want to assume power really quickly, right? Since government controls so much, all it takes is for one person to control the government. Therefore, one person controls everything. Here's the problem with socialism is that the incentives of a socialist country is to take as much as you can from the people to try to provide services. Eventually, wealth has to be created somewhere. Charlie Kirk's murder trial has started. I might cover some of it on my Cameron Vance channel. Let me know if you want some coverage on that. What's something that you could say that you think could upset a liberal today? Something that would upset a liberal is protesting is absolutely useless. Facts. If you want to actually change the situation, get rich, become powerful, become influential, and then go into the society that you want to change, and then say, yo, I got this, that, and third, I know this person, and then you can actually make changes. Sitting outside of a business saying, we want, doesn't help, doesn't do anything. Protesting is useless. Use your vote. Use the almighty dollar. That's what's going to change things. If my dog had a cell phone, I would have 382 missed calls. Should Trump run for a third term? As much as I would love to see Trump continue doing his thing and elevating the state of America, I probably think it's in our best interest to have somebody new. We need a fresh face. He's going to be almost 80 by the time his second term ends, and I do believe a new fresh face is what America needs. As much as I love Trump, so hopefully someone can come in who has similar values and can unite America. Who would you vote for on the ticket? Drop a comment down below. I broke my back. What do you mean by that? My back is broken. What, a vertebrae or what portion? Spinal. What are they training for? Getting hit by a car? Oh my gosh, this woman is so past her expiration date. She needs to go. The show, frankly, needs to go. But when I hear this, um... I said this on this show many, many years ago, because this is my 10th year on the show, and I said there are times when I walk into a community and I see American flags all over the community and I suddenly feel unsafe because there is a section of this country... That's where I feel the safest, Sunny. ...that has co-opted the American flag and they equate being an American or an American flag with white supremacy, and that should never be the symbol of white supremacy. I think, actually, Sunny, you're the part of America that now equates the American flag with white supremacy. Yes. Most Americans do not. You're the one who's afraid of the community that's flying the flag. Get a grip, lady. Like I said, 10 years too many. When kids of veterans fight at school. Sir, your son got in a fight. Who won? Don't you want to know who started it? I don't even care who started World War I or II, but I know who finished it. Who won? Pride Month or the 4th of July? The 4th of July. Why do you say that? I'm American, you know? The 4th of July is amazing. Probably one of my favorite days of the year, if not the most favorite. As an American, you don't think Pride Month does anything for you? I mean, dude, what type of question is that? I'm just talking about the 4th of July. It's American, you know? July 5th, still free, baby. It's July 7th, still free. Imagine that. Dang, these houses are gorgeous. What in the hell did these people do for a living? I mean, really. What in the hell do you do for a living? I got three letters for you. M-L-M. Where do you work? You work several part-time jobs? Should schools be teaching students gender ideology? No, because you're confusing people before their brain is fully developed. Realistically, we are either born with one part or another. Anybody who feels otherwise is mentally ill. If you're a guy and you like guys, you're gay, and that's fine. Like, do whatever you want to do. But if you're a man and think you're a woman, it has to be a mental illness. It has to be a mental imbalance. Illness is a bad word or mental illness is a bad thing to say. It's like, Elon Musk has a mental illness. He's bipolar. Like, it's fine. But no, I don't think you should be teaching kids what gender ideology is, no. Right now, when I see anyone with an American flag, I'm like, okay, in a World Cup way or in a MAGA way? How about in an American way? This is smart square footage. Why is there a staircase under the kitchen island? What? Not for me, I don't think. Just a reminder that if you call yourself a feminist while choosing to ignore biological women when they say that they don't want biological men in their spaces, you're not actually a feminist. You're just a piece of sh- I remember one time this guy said, boy, you look just as good as any white man in that cowboy hat. I ain't never seen no African American look that good in a cowboy hat. I said, buddy, I ain't African American. I was- Gosh, it must kill ABC News to have to report this. Nationwide average for gas is dip below $4 a gallon as road trip season heats up. Oil prices are sharply lowered this morning on news of that deal to reopen shipping through the Strait of Hormuz, and already we are seeing some relief here at the gas pump. The national average for a gallon of regular gas, now $3.99. It's the first time it's been below $4 since April. In about half of all states, mostly in the South and in the Midwest, gas is already below that $4 marker. And you ain't seen anything yet. Liberals want high gas prices. They want algae in the reflecting pool. They want riots. They want war because it makes Trump look bad. And as long as it makes Trump look bad, it doesn't matter how much it hurts America. Do you think that I'm delusional for not believing that I'm an average person? Yes. You are a bit delusional. Telling my dog about my day. And then she tried to do it again, and I was like, are you done? Homie's locked in. Because that just doesn't make sense. It just wasn't getting through to her. It wasn't getting through to her? You're kidding me. That everything that was going down was going down for a reason, and she just wasn't, she wasn't trying to. A country dad meets the anti-gun boyfriend. Hey sir, I'm here to pick up Remy for our date. Remy who? Your daughter? Oh, you mean Miss Remy. Because last I checked, y'all weren't married yet. Yes sir. Sorry sir. How'd you get in here anyway? She said the door was open. Well, you're lucky you didn't get shot walking into a country man's house like that. You'd use a gun just for somebody breaking into your house? Heck yeah. You wouldn't? Oh no, I don't own firearms. Oh boy, you don't stand a chance with my daughter. She likes guns. Son, what do you think Remy is short for? I don't know. Rosemary? Remington, son. Oh, you know what guys? Perfect name for boy or girl. Remy if it's a girl, Remington if it's a boy. Gosh, them city streets done rotted your brain. Oh, this is worse than I thought. Yeah, so you might want to get up out of here before she takes what's left of your man card. You know what? I bet you she loved my dad's gun collection. I thought you were anti-gun. No, I just said I don't own any. But my dad, he's got one of the biggest gun shops in town. Wait a minute now. I'm interested. Your dad owns guns and honey? Sticky solutions for sticky situations. You got any brothers and sisters? No, I'm an only child. Why? Don't worry about it, son. Welcome to the family. In 2026, when Los Angeles and New York City, two of the biggest cities in the world, in 2026, you're like, let's unplug those toasters, people. We got a rolling brown. Like, shouldn't you have some infrastructure in 2026 that can support those huge cities that you charge tons of taxes? The two cities that charge the most taxes, granted, probably more taxes than anywhere in the entire world are begging people to set their AC at 78. Los Angeles does this all the time and then announces by 2030, we're going all electric cars. Yeah. Good luck. Good. Yeah. Good luck having the grid for that. With the grid part. Yeah. And then the data centers as well. What's going to power those? Watch this wannabe Jim influencer get upset that somebody is in her camera shot. Why are you standing there? I'm filming. You're not. You're not trying to. You're talking to me. I'm filming. I got four words for you. Work out from home. If you want to film yourself, roll out a yoga mat, work out in your living room. Oh, what do you know? Something's never changed. The left, for example, take a look. 50 years ago, the Bicentennial, they said this. The best thing for this country is 1975 being International Women's Year. Even more than 1976 being Bicentennial. Right now, we don't have a great deal to celebrate. Bicentennial has been kind of a dirty word here in Philadelphia and throughout the country, I think. In many ways, the bicentennial is just being fabricated. Well, it's a bad time, I think, to have it. So I don't I really don't know what we have to gain by it. So the woke left has always been a bit of a buzzkill. Happy birthday, America. Show some enthusiasm, people. Hi, you know me as Julie, but my full government name is Well, congratulations. I never knew who you were until now. But hi. How can I help you? I was born here in West Valley City in 1993. OK. I am going to stand up to the United States government and start in a rebellion. Oh, I am nonviolent pacifist. I know I have this statue that says deny, defend, oppose. But it was because I was really angry about the United States health service system and how we kill millions of Americans every year. So let me get this straight. You're going to try to lead a rebellion and you angrily got a tattoo over something that has nothing to realistically do with you. Yeah, this is the director of the CIA. We've got a dumpy Asian looking chick with a bucket hat and a rose tattoo. I think we're going to need to really up our defenses. Now, I've noticed with Bruce, he said he was gay to get out of Vietnam. Is this all just a harbinger to Bruce's eventual transformation into what looks like a Wild West lesbian bank teller? What? He's got the Megan Rapinoe haircut. He looks like a lesbian banker on a Wild West frontier town with that vest and the tight shirt. You know, you're not wrong. I'm not wrong. I mean, that's how I dress for school. Finally, we can find some middle ground. What do you do when you're stressed? I stress others. Balance is important. This is like the poster child for blind, deaf and dumb. Let me show you something. The presence of so many illegal immigrants makes a mockery of all of those who are going through the process of immigrating legally. I think it's bulls**t. Do you disagree with that? I disagree with that. Do you know who said that? Republican. Obama from 2010. I don't really think that I want to participate any further. Oh no, that doesn't fit the narrative. Damn lady, who do you think you are coming out here and making us all look accurately represented? My dog sits and watches the sunset in this exact spot every night. So let me get this straight. You're a feminist who also hates men, yet if a biological male wants to be in your spaces or compete against you in sports, that's perfectly fine as long as he feels like he's a woman. They hate men unless they're wearing a dress. This Korean woman stands up for America. Down with America! Do you want to help rip the flag with me? Oh, you'd love to see it. Hey guys, this is actually a social experiment. A lot of young people hate America. We don't know, it's stupid. We come from Korea. We are persecuted, so we know what it means. Young people have to grow up. You know what's so interesting? The people that have been the most upset about this, it's people who are actually fleeing their countries like you to come and live the American dream. What do you say to the communists in America? Wake up. Smell the coffee. This rascal got on his hands and knees after we arrested him and he was begging. Is he crying because he can't steal from Americans anymore? Maybe he's having visions of El Salvador prisons. I am a Florida Sheriff Grady Judd appreciator. As am I, as am I. Yes, perfect. Buying a fake police badge. You just deputized a dolphin, brother. Now, what you got to do is get a toy gun and a badge so you can turn them in. You just threw trash in the ocean. Are you gonna go pick that up? Uh, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. Sorry, sorry. We should be here. We really should. A deeply concerning video has surfaced showing Tyheim Clark, widely known as the child care whisperer, wearing a dress and high heels while telling a group of young children that their parents cannot be trusted. Someone with that name should not be allowed within 500 feet of a child care. I want you to hear me. The parents are not your friends. Put this man in jail and men apologize. Oh, you know, I'm not so much angry as I am disappointed. I completely understand. Do you have anything to say? I messed up. What were you thinking? I have no idea. Do you even know what we're talking about? Of course. Why am I mad? We don't need to rehash it. The important thing is I'm sorry. What are you sorry for? Everything. Be more specific. Everything that made you mad? Oh, my God. You don't even know what you did. But I feel genuinely bad. Isn't that what matters? It helps. You're welcome. Here's the trick. Just roll over to your wife in the morning right when you wake up and say, I'm so sorry for everything I'm going to do today. I'm not fat. I'm festively plump. I like that. I'm not fat. What? I get it. This is artwork. But imagine if you could fire around. How girls think their boyfriends talk. Reality. Sup? Jessica and I just got back from Europe and I have photos. Oh, my God. I was hoping to hear about that trip today. Thank you. How precious is that? I want to hear your guys' reactions to it. That is an amazing photo. Wow. That is adorable. I love you two together. Show me more. Any boomerangs? Do you guys want me to airplay them to the TV so we can all watch them together? What are you waiting for? Load them up. I got a couple of my dog too. You remember that time in high school when we all got drunk? Oh, that was awesome. Dude, we were legends. This is already more talking than necessary. Ford guys, when they drive a Chevy. It actually starts. Okay, I see where this is going. It started? Doesn't need to take the bus. Okay. You know how many times I've been there? Explaining to my boss why it took six hours to do a two-hour job. Like I tried to do a strategy and then I tried to do that strategy and it didn't work. He bet we couldn't swing him off. Something tells me he's going to lose this bet. All right, so this is definitely not a view. Whoa. Very many people get to see. Nope. Wow. Me, Mr. Wellborn. Why is it a dually? Why not? Where's the track, buddy? He's making his own track. It's crazy. When you don't know what you're protesting. Stop the SAVE Act. Yes. Can you explain to me what the SAVE Act is? Well, I mean, if you look things up and if you would, if people would actually do their research. My job is to protest, not to know what I'm protesting. Come on. I get worked up. Like I'm the type of person, if I'm at a crosswalk waiting to go to the other side, if you come up behind me and press the button, it's hard for me not to turn around and ask you, do you not think that I've already done that? Do you think I was standing here going, what if there's an easier way to get to the other side? How am I not supposed to be offended by that? And we've just got to deal with these people, these elevator people. They exist. These people that show up when you're standing in front of an elevator and the button's lit up. You're doing everything that you can do to indicate that you've got big plans to get on this elevator. And somebody will come up and they'll press the button. They'll press the button. And the craziest part is the elevator will show up and they really feel like they were part of the process. This is how you start a fire. If you ain't starting your fire like this, are you even American? What? It's like a Corvette a cycle. Oh, this looks safe. I already tipped it. I messed up somebody's pronoun the other day. It happens, you know? And when you look like this, you don't get a lot of grace for it, you know? I was walking down the street and this gal was walking in front of me and she had a purse on, right? And in that purse, she had a pocketbook. So I reached down and grabbed it. And when it dropped out and I said, miss, miss, you dropped your pocketbook. And she turned around at me and her eyes lit up. She looked at me and she said, did you just assume my pronouns? And I looked her right back in the eyes and I was like, you just assume that I know what pronouns are? Country folks, we've been using gender neutral pronouns, right? Forever, you know, like we made up the word y'all. What about those people? Your kind, you know, like. This is a $30 million home in Encino, Los Angeles. And we're going to give you the full tour starting. He missed the shot. This is the opposite of Laura Farming. With this eight hole putting green. Oh, please miss this shot too. Right here. That's surround. Okay. Didn't even try. A sunken circular fire pit. My brain every second of vacation. I'm relaxing right now. No, I'm definitely relaxing. I'm relaxing. No, I'm relaxed. This has to be what relaxing feels like. If I, if I had to guess, this is, I could probably be doing a better job at relaxing right now. How do we maximize that? I wonder what's in this pool. Probably a bunch of dead skin cells, but. Sounds like she needs some alcohol. There was a competition for relaxing. I definitely win. It looks like y'all my Caucasians. You're my Caucasian. No, y'all. Manila. See, you're right. Like my, my Caucasian and I, your. No, never. I feel like the hardest immigrant to be. Sometimes it'd be like Indian or Asian or something. Cause a lot of times their dads would be like, son, you can only date another Indian girl. It's like, well then dad, why'd you move me away from where they all are? Most dangerous thing a man must prepare for. You're a man, right? Yeah. Tell me you're a man. I'm a man. Oh, mom. I just want to let everybody know that if you own a truck, then you are officially in a gang. Gang gang Manilas. That's right. You are in truck gang. It don't matter if you drive a diesel or if you drive a gasser. Or a Ford Ranger. Or if you drive a brand new truck, or if you drive a truck with 400,000 miles on it. If it's got a bed and four tires, then you are officially in truck gang. Now, the only people that ain't in truck gang is in people that drive them squatted trucks. You ain't in the club. If your truck looks like a paralyzed dog dragging its back legs, you can't be in truck gang. Y'all fellers with the squatted trucks can start your own gang where you get together and touch each other's wieners and stuff. But everybody else who owns a truck other than squatted trucks is in truck gang. So if you're riding down the road in your truck and you go to pass by another truck, you make sure to throw up a truck gang just to let them know that you see them. Have a good one. Tall Batman, Tall Batman. He's taller than regular Batman. Not as tall as really tall Batman. Oh my God! Somebody help me! Hey! Seems inefficient. Thank you, Tall Batman. I believe this belongs to you, ma'am. So stupid. You want me to help with that? I can do it. Ty, what sound does an impact make? Don't say anything racist, CV. Don't do it. What video made you laugh? Drop a comment down below. Don't forget to like and subscribe to Conservative Vibes. I'm CV and I'll see you in the next video. God bless America and other American-made t-shirts available at ConservativeVibes.com. God bless America and those Conservative Vibes.