If You Laugh, You're Conservative PT.391 Memes & Comedy for Republicans & Trump Supporters | MAGA

Get down now! How'd you guys find me? We've got a suspect drawing of you. That's not even me. That's exactly your head. That's not my belly button. What, you have an alley? Welcome back to If You Laugh, You're Conservative. Americans after losing to Belgium in the World Cup. Hey, you an American? Yeah. Belgium number one. Hey, nobody's number one but us. Belgium better than USA. You've got more GDP in our worst state than you've got in your entire country. Better than you. What are you even known for but waffles? Bitches. Where even is Belgium? Apparently ahead of you in football rankings. You mother- Wait, football? Yeah, four to one. Wait, that's soccer. I don't care. What? What am I doing if you don't care about soccer? Your words have no power in a country that doesn't really care. What is it? And where do I get one? Oh, you know, you can just drive it into the lake. And he can't even keep up with his owners. Those little furry potato flakes. Can your outdoor chair do this? Oh, it's also a cornhole board? Okay. All right. Drop the link. Summer hunting in style. Okay. Y'all have AC? All right, now that's just flexing. Somalian soldier stomps on the American flag. And this is what we want to import into America? Really? This three million year old cave is finally introduced to Fetty Wap. What would you rate this setup? Are you supposed to transport the boat on its side? I don't speak rich. Can someone translate for me? The first date versus years together. You're so beautiful. Here, I bought you the most expensive flowers I could find. Wow. Waiter, bring us one of everything on the menu. Tonight, I'm treating you like a queen. Hey, honey, I was thinking tonight for our anniversary, we could go to a hotel. Because I'm just made of money, huh? Oh, I just wanted tonight to be special. Didn't we go out last year? God, you're so high maintenance. You're right. I'm sorry. Here, I got you this buy one, get one yellow onion coupon. Now, get out of here. When I took my wife on our first date, we went to a go-kart track. But hey, we're married now, so it must have worked. What was your first date with your significant other? Drop a comment down below. The best parts of coming home to Australia after being in the US. An acceptable level of water in the toilet. The feeling of safety when unplugging appliances. Okay, can you turn your outlets off? Weight displayed in kilograms. Oh, no sales tax. Got us beat with that one. Not having to be scared of the taste of a latte. Did a liberal Starbucks employee spit in your latte here? I mean... Knowing your house spider is watching the house for you. I'm staying in America. Going to work is embarrassing. You're basically letting everyone know that you need money. Well, everyone else there also needs money, so you're in good company. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yeah. Real hunters use crossbows. What? No, we need one of them. You want Mexican food? Oh, that does sound good. New York is so gay. Hello. Tell me something we don't know. And we're happy about it. And I just wanted to show it to you. This one right here. Saying black children are slow. That's just... And this is what we have to face every day. He voted for Kamala. And I can't believe that I have to live in this America. It's just not... It's just not right. What species are we? Mammals. What species? I don't know. Name three countries besides the USA. Hawaii. Okay, what else? What else? Texas. Okay, what else? America. How many continents are there? I want to say 25. Tina, how many? Six. How many states in the USA? Okay, 25. How many planets are in our solar system? 13, maybe. Next. So three? No one is talking about this, but ICE agents just shot at a truck filled with 33 undocumented immigrants because the truck refused to stop at a checkpoint and they killed six undocumented immigrants. Now, if you're angry about this, this happened in Mexico. So the next time that you want to wave the Mexican flag in protest of the American flag because you think our immigration laws are so unfair, you would have a heart attack if we treated our undocumented immigrants the same way that Mexico treats their undocumented immigrants. For those of you surprised, Mexico has their own form of immigration enforcement. So it's extremely ironic when I see first, second, third generation Nozabas waving a flag of a country they completely don't understand and they would never go live in. Sheriff! Telling cops useless information. Yo! Your window's down. What the dog doing? Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Nothing bothers you. Somebody make this make sense for me. I am in Los Angeles and I got a ticket. Now, this ticket is for expired tags. And yes, my registration is expired. But also on this street. The homeless encampment, no tickets? Odd, none of these vehicles seem to have their current registration either. It was just mine that got the ticket. Yeah, because you can actually pay the ticket and that's all they care about. Flirting when dating. Ooh, I like that. Do that more often. Flirting when married. And that's why I don't have a man bun. A man has been arrested after a replica of a mosque has been placed on top of a bonfire here in Moigashal. Signs stating secure our borders and end the threat of radical Islam have also been placed on the fire which is due to be set alight on Friday night. The same bonfire has attracted controversy in previous years. How real men take a knee. Okay, you know what, Brits? Hell yeah. Claycombe Gildernew says it's simply an act of hate. At least you needed a reminder of how ass backwards our country is. If you can get arrested for hunting and fishing without a license but you can enter this country and remain in this country illegally, you got a country run by idiots. If you have to get your parents permission to go on a field trip and get an aspirin at school but you don't have to get their permission to get an abortion, you got a country run by idiots. If you must show identification to board an airplane and cash a check and check out a library book but you don't have to show identification to vote in our elections, you got a nation run by a bunch of idiots. Yeah. You ever go on a job interview and part way through you realize, I don't want to work here. Oh yeah. At that point, you should have fun. You just flip the whole interview. They're like, so tell me a little bit about yourself. I'm like, you know what? Why don't you go first? If I answer this question, where do you see me in five years? No, I don't like that answer. They always ask you those weird questions too. Like you ever hear this question at an interview? They say, so tell me about a time you had a disagreement with a coworker and tell me about how you worked it out. I was like, oh, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. So I had a colleague, right? He took all the credit for some work I did. Like I did all the work. He did nothing, took all the credit. So here's what I did. I just walked over to his cubicle and you know, fast forward, here I am. You are proud to be an American. A hundred percent. Oh, I love that. Yeah, for sure. I love that you can have a different opinion and still support the fact that America needs to be better no matter what. All right. So a hundred percent. So what are you guys like? What is your, your mega? Yeah. You're pro-Trump. Yes. Okay. Love that. Saucy. I love her. But I love to come out on the street and talk to people about their opinions. I think every opinion matters. Yeah. I think that it's scary to come to a place where people can't disagree and still have a conversation. When you speak a little Spanish, but not level two Spanish. Hi, how can I help you? Uh, you speak Spanish? Your car shuts off at stoplights for the environment. Mine shuts off because I rebuilt the carburetor myself. We are not the same. Wasn't that a Biden thing? The start and stop cars. Thankfully, they're not putting them in new ones. Well done to this woman. Do you kids know this man? No. Leave him alone. Yeah, but leave him alone. I'm going to be parked right there. I'm going to see you. He said, he said, he said to them, do you want to take a selfie? No, they don't want to take a selfie. Go away. Leave him alone. I'm not going to say the usual suspect, but uh. Who goes up to children and ask for a selfie? Well done to that woman. Very easy to ignore situations like that. She chose not to. Get off the moose, dog. I can't tell you how many times I have to say this to my dog. Get off the moose. When it might be time to stop driving. Did I park well? When you're two steps ahead of all of her toxic moves. All right, baby. Wait, wait, wait. Don't forget your vitamins. I gave you a tranquilizer. I didn't drink it. It's in the water. I didn't drink it. You're really going to leave like looking crazy like that in your face. Got to be three steps ahead, homie. We skipped Disney World for this. And if you get out. But where's the canyon? It's all the canyon, little homie. It's all the how a lady picks something up from the floor. What you don't do, ladies, is walk to the front of the item and squat to pick it up. It's in front of you. Naturally, your legs will open to give you clearance to pick it up. Is that appropriate for a lady? Absolutely not. Nor do you go to the front of the item and bend over. Too much exposure back there. So what you do is you perform a split and clench it up with your butt cheeks. You go down gracefully, pick it up and you're out. Def joke of the day. Hi. Hi, what's up? You want to hear my talk? Sure. Me too. I need to talk. Almost saved it. But my husband just drove the car. Seat was a little far back. Jasmine Crocker says she lost her election because the race was racist. For me, I am going to be working everywhere. The best thing that I can do for James Tallarico isn't me standing on a stage with him. It is the fact that I endorse five candidates in the runoff who all happen to be black men in the state of Texas. And every single one of them won. And they're going on to November. How's that racist? You see, a lot of haters got a lot of things to say about me and my race and how I ran it. But the reality is that there was a lot of races. Not a lot. It was racist. It was a racist race. It is what it is. Right. But we live in America as y'all are celebrating 250. OK, we know what this country is. Yep. Chock full of professional victims like Jasmine. Due to financial reasons, I'm going to have to start posting adult content. So tomorrow I'm going to post about heartburn and back pain. So make sure to tune in for that. You driving your trailer around, bud? There's no one in it. Farms in the bathroom. Yeah, it's in there, bro. I don't know if he's driving it. Runaway trailer. If it's got a bathroom in it, I'm sold. Oh, hell yeah. He can do a burnout. This liberal has a new meltdown over the Trump passport. So I waited until the last minute to get my passport renewed. I just picked it up from the office. You love to see it. It's OK. You're just going to complain about America, but never leave. You'll never have to use it. When you forgot the dog was under the sheets. He's in the blast zone. What sound does a tractor make when you start it? Ashley, what sound does a tractor make when you start it? Sound does a tractor make when you start it? Come on, Navy. Toyota Tacoma, American edition. Odd. OK. You know what? Maybe see if he's picking up a Tacoma. I'm sure there's a place to put one of these in a Ford. Oh, this is the grappler. Fish on, fish on. That's dope. You're telling me I can be law enforcement and a fisherman? Sign me up. I bought this with money. I just gave money to somebody and they gave this to me. What the bunny doing? It says beware of the bunny. He on a Netflix series explaining how being born in America makes me American, not African-American. All right, here we go. I guess it's all or nothing, right? He identifies as American and you'd love to see it. Kentucky Dom, go check him out. What sound does a siren make? Rowan, what sound does a siren make? We ain't in Europe, detective. What sound does a siren make? What the hell? How you sleep with all those fire ants as a meow string? Ants? There's no ants. I'm rolling away from you. That suits yourself. Oh, something's touching. It's stinging my butt. Okay, I think I got it. My tuxedo. They're in my comfort bun. I told you. Wait, maybe I can moonwalk them away. Oh my gosh, they're meow-deploying. They need some ant killer. They need a meow-deploying killer. For God's sake, get off their mouth. Would you hire this tow truck? Just leave that there. No way this thing can fly. This is the Megamind. Airbus Beluga. What is this thing? A quadruple decker? I told y'all. They keep trying to crash into me up here. Stop! A car coming full throttle at me. Just came past my stop sign. Who do you blame here? I'm guessing the driver. They probably had their face in their phone. I dare someone to say something. Look, who trying to say something now? I dare someone to say something. Well, she said something. Whoa. That was a short takeoff. What car do you expect your future husband to drive? Maserati. What car do you drive? 2011 Volkswagen Jetta. If this doesn't explain the modern dating world, I don't know what does. Honestly, if he's making bank, he better be driving that Lamborghini. What car do you drive? 2012 Equinox. I'm still waiting for that Nissan Altima, guys. Give me nine Aston Martin. What car do you drive? I don't drive. Read the index card. The philosophical dichotomy generated considerable discourse among the distinguished scholars. Yep. Read the index card. The conscientious entrepreneur demonstrated unwavering perseverance throughout the acquisition. Read the index card. The restaurant's exquisite croissant and charcuterie were attracted discerning critics. Hey, a black person that can say charcuterie. Good on you. Oh, this is cool. I'm guessing you win if you get onto the flatbed. Sick. Here I go. He's facing it. He's facing it here. Oh, this is so cool. This is how you know I'm American, because I 100% would go to this. This is awesome. I mean, technically. I'm here in Mogashil, where the very, very naughty people of Northern Ireland have done this. I mean, can you even believe it? I am shocked. I am horrified. It's an insult to the Islamic community. It's an insult to mosques. Northern Ireland people should know much better, because honestly, you should allow thousands of illegals into your country to do harm. You should allow illegals into your street. All that they've done is just a simple little bit of beheading. Just a little. A simple bit of stabbing people's eyes out. A simple bit of not being conducive to the public good. But you should not protest that, no. But also the same Article 10 of the European Human Rights Act that allows illegals to come into our countries is the same human rights act that allows protest and cultural expression. And after all, this is a bonfire that celebrates the Battle of the Boeing back in 1690. So it's a cultural thing and a protest thing. But either which way, we are outraged by this whole thing. That little RC boat is scooting. Welcome to Driver's Ed for BMW Drive. Question number one. Hey, no vaping in class. Unless you brought enough for everyone. This must also apply to Subaru WRX drivers. Light turns green and a car hasn't gone after 0.3 seconds. What should you do? Done. Give this man his diploma. If someone's going 90 miles per hour in the fast lane, what should you do? Tailgate them within two inches. Two inches, which is what most BMW drivers are familiar with. That's correct. If the speed limit is 65, what should you do? What is a speed limit? Exactly. When driving in a school zone, should you A, go 25, B, go around. Or C, those kids better freaking see me coming. Great answer. And D for down goes little Timmy. When approaching a light, when should you use your, uh, turn? Turn signal. Turn. Anyone know what a turn signal is? Guys, like a turn signal to let people know you're going to turn left or right? Have you guys never used a turn signal? Shut up. I didn't know this was Prius Anonymous. Smells like a middle school. Shut up. Okay. Oh, I liked her better from the back. The ultimate thing should be loving God, loving people and raising children in a society that follows God's commands against the culture, not in consistency with the culture to stand on my opinion on eternal truths, fight for the country, fight for our civilization. And then also understand that you, especially as men, but women as well, you are obligated to do difficult and hard things. The West was built. Our nation was built on delayed gratification, not instant gratification. That maybe I'm not going to go do what feels good in the moment. I'm going to forsake what feels good. And I'm going to parlay that into the future. When you take self-defense classes. Listen, brother, I take self-defense classes. You don't want to do this. It's because you're pointed at my chest and not at my face. I dare you to try that, okay? Master Roshi owe me a refund. Get your ass against the car! Any last words? Buns of steel, blah. Get your cheeks off my gun before I shoot! It will have no effect. What? I just ricocheted. He's racked a slide with his butt cheeks. Give me your... Oh, here goes somebody. Oh, you're not going to make it. There's no way you're going to make it. Your car is going to die! Oh, boy. Gonna need a snorkel. Oh, there's waves. Oh, brother. I can't believe they're going to make it. Let me guess. White women. Where's your mom? She moved inside. Hi, New York! What you wearing today, bro? Yeah, I'm wearing Balmain. On the feet? That's some Balmain? What's with the pants you got on? Um, pants are Balmain. Okay, okay. The double Balmain on there. This is Balmain steel. Okay, that's the triple piece right there. And then what is the headgear? If wasting money was a college degree, he would have a triple PhD. Just a close-up of a dog eating watermelon. I fell in love in my dream last night, and when I woke up and realized it was just a dream, I just felt this overwhelming disappointment. You should try Nightmare Fuel. It's guaranteed to give you nightmares. You want nightmares? No more waking up disappointed that your dreams are just dreams. Nightmare Fuel is guaranteed to give you horrifying nightmares, ensuring you wake up with a sense of relief and gratitude. Ah, you know what? To have joy, you have to have misery, right? I'm gonna have to write you a ticket. Hey, at least spiders aren't eating my mom's face. That's a great perspective. You okay? Nightmare Fuel? Hey, I've been using your product for a few weeks now, and I'm starting to feel like my nightmares are seeping into real life. Can you elaborate on that? Yeah, so basically it's getting hard for me to tell the difference between dreams and reality, and I'm starting to feel like I live in a constant state of nightmare. So I see this call's coming from Philadelphia. You know, I'm actually based in Philadelphia. Oh wow, no way. Would you maybe want to get a coffee sometime? Yeah, that would be great. I can't believe how well this is going. Got a rest stop here in South Carolina, and I come across this thing. What is it? What in the world? Look at this Mad Max looking thing. This thing is awesome. It's a school bus slash diesel truck. This has got to be online somewhere. And it's got a diesel jeep in the back of it. Identify as a lesbian? Yes. You only date female people? Female as in born, assigned people at birth? Yes. No, I date trans women as well. Basically, if you talk to this guy, he will date you. He is that desperate. Okay, so you're bi? No. What? Bisexual? No, I'm not bisexual. I'm a lesbian. Okay, I gotcha. Okay. When did you realize you're a lesbian? I think I've always known, but it really clicked for me when I transitioned and I was like, oh, a dude that's always liked women. So you're straight. I'm a woman. I love you. All right, bro, I've had enough. Somebody's got to say it. I'll be the person to say it. Dude, no more Aiden names, bro. You can't just take the name Aiden and then add a couple of letters in front of it and name your kid that. This is specifically to white people. All right, Aiden, that's too many names, bro. You got Aiden, Brayden, Kayden, Dayden, Grayden, Gayden, Grayden, Hayden, Jayden, Jayden, Kayden with a K, Layden, Payden, Quayden, Rayden, Tayden, Tayden. Stop! It's unlocked, darling. This bear got booted out of a car but leaves with a watermelon. Open the trunk. Get him out of there. You already knew I was going to say it. That's how you can tell it's a black bear. What video made you laugh? Drop a comment down below. Don't forget to like and subscribe to Conservative Vibes. I'm C.V. and I'll see you in the next video. If you identify as American, grab a t-shirt from ConservativeVibes.com. God bless America and those conservatives.